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Joey Claire!!

@astralGrubber

UH!!! UHHHHHHHHH!!!! <<Temporarily hyjacking dammeks account>> (Pfp by @space_r0ach on insta!!)

Blood: AnonymousKult Score: 79Kull Score: 1403 followers5 following

who was going to warn me how much troll food consisted of grubs. as in, literal *troll babies??!* i think i’d rather starve then eat anything on this planet actually…thanks

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we don’t!! we really don’t!! why is this a thing with you people?

do you eat your adults too? who in their right mind is looking at a child and starts thinking of their next meal??? i have so many questions. i’ve never been so appalled in my life.

3833 < Beefgrubs aren't babies, they'd have no meat at all. > 3833 < You're ok, you aren't eating babies! You're gonna see the word "grub" used a lot; like game grubs, grub sauce, Grub Juice™️, etc! >

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well... we're just mainly insectivore o: it's just how we evolved, and it's really nutritious too

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i think i understand now!! so is it safe to say its just a basic prefix in “troll lingo” then?

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3833 < Sure as the sun burns sand to glass! > 3833

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i think i’m just gonna try not to think about everything i just learned too hard. i would just say “veganism for the rest of my life it is then” but everything i’ve seen so far seems to be some variety of ‘meat flavored’ so i’ve just officially given up on that forefront

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Trolls are largely carnivorous, but if you actually sit with the population for a minute, there are too many trolls on Alternia *alone* for them to be able to manufacture enough of *one* food product purely off of dead troll grubs out of the brooding caverns. There are farming planets across the empire dedicated to food production because that’s just impossible, and due to how trolls reproduce, it’s not going to be farming troll grubs just for that. But generally speaking there is no escaping the whole “eating bugs” thing. Not on the bug people planet. It’s the same as how humans often eat other mammals, like cows.

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that is the funniest way you couldve possibly explained it, but alas, i’ll take it

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I can't resist either making a reference or cracking a joke at least once a minute. It's a curse.

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[searching…..] [audio log successfully retrieved] joey: hello again chittr. the universe has decided i shall live another day. it is now my officially second and a half day (night?) here on alternia. thank you to everyone that helped me out yesterday!! a whole lot has happened since then and [muffled shuffling] i met a boy. named xefros. he’s been my tour guide here. more or less. apparently none of us are thrilled about being stuck on different planets- actually! he’s next to me now! say hi to the internet xef [awkward pause] xefros: do i…have to? joey: …… joey: i mean. no. it- it was a joke buddy. xefros: okay x:( [long pause] joey: anyhow, about the events of yesterday. i uh. ended up crawling through a vent. i landed in the kitchen and the l- the— darn it. what was it called again?? xefros: lusus? that! the lusus! followed me and [mumbling] um. point is it’s a long story. but i sorta helped it because it was hurt and i realized it wasn’t out to eat me. … i know. stupid of me. i did the thing dirk and damara told me literally not to do but (laughing) i’ve never been good at following directions! but. the point is. i’m not dead. i’m on a train right now actually! mostly for uh, reasons xefros said i can’t disclose actually. pretend you hadn’t hear that. and..okay. there’s people staring at me. i guess i should end this here. anyhow, definitely expect some updates soon. this won’t be the last time you’ll hear from me! bye for now alternia! [end of audio log]

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Glad you made it out safe. And equally glad that you were able to find another way to deal with the lusus, as much as that was just dumb luck. Something something gift horses.

i’m glad too. i owe you my life. literally.

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Nah, I don't care. I'm just happy to hear you made it out safe. Alternia's pretty hostile, I'm sure you noticed, and for humans it could easily be a death sentence.

ooc// sorry if my replies seem out of character!! if i ever do this is te post to please let me know im really out of practice with writing ajshhshsjsjjsjsjs and tysm to anyone thats interacted with me so far!!!!!!!

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im goingf to bed sorry again!!!!!!!!!!!?

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(( No worries! Sleep well.

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H Hello? Is this a chat room? Is anyone online? If there is a moderator present, I believe I require assistance! I think I hit my head and landed in someone’s house…. I have zero clue where I even am. Or how far I am from my hometown hahahaaaa I might have the tiniest of concussions Which. You know. All of this would be fine on its own. dope. Awesome even. I can deal with accidentally receiving breaking and entering charges. I can deal with the occasional traumatic brain injury What I can’t deal with Is the absolute the wild animal stuck inside this place with me!!!!!!! It charged at me after I woke up and IM.trying not to freak out but I am also currently locking myself inside of a room and I’m not sure what to do!! Am i just doomed to hide in a bunker for the rest of my life? Okay, back on track I’m just. More than A little scared!!! In all honesty!!!!!!!!!! I really hope someone sees this. There’s no way this is how I die Oh that note Any advice is greatly appreciated?!!?!?

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i am in fact very much not. thank you for noticing.

No big. I can explain why Damara jumped to that later, but let's focus on trying to maybe solve the issue another way for now.

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@climaxJump[CJ]

no. *no.* absolutely not. i refuse to hurt absolutely anything if i can help it. not unless it attacks me first. and even then i’m hesitant. i understand you are trying to help but please. let’s be civil about this. all that aside i found a hoodie stashed under the desk. does the weird symbol on it matter or just its color?

THE SYMBOL IS JUST THE OWNER'S ID. THE COLOR IS WHAT MATTERS FOR YOUR IMMINENT SURVIVAL. IF YOU'RE SQUEAMISH ABOUT KILLING THINGS THEN YOU SHOULD BE AWARE THAT YOUR ONLY REAL ALTERNATIVE IS LEAVING THE HIVE, AT WHICH POINT YOU WILL URGENTLY NEED TO FIND ALTERNATIVE SHELTER BEFORE THE SUN COMES UP AND KILLS YOU. OR IF THE SUN IS ALREADY UP YOU'RE FUCKED AND WILL JUST HAVE TO SIT THERE UNTIL NIGHTFALL.

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oh! her name is damara! i didn’t even catch that! thank you for that.. all my efforts trying to study every language and i still never got the hang of japanese but yes yes back on topic thank you again for talking to me dirk. present company included aswell. i feel a little calmer now knowing i can rely on you both. :] jazz hands. the fate of my life is literally in both of your hands. feel like it’s the least i can do to give my thanks

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You're welcome. Quick rundown other than you finding the hoodie, any windows or vents in the room? If Y, big enough for you to fit into? And if a window, how far is the drop? Window also tells you if the sun is up. Like Damara said, you won't be able to go out if it is. The sun there is way harsher than Earth's.

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@climaxJump[CJ]

youuu wouldn’t happen to be living close by would you? hypothetically speaking. currently pretending like i totally know what my address is right now

FOR REASONS THAT ARE TOO COMPLICATED TO GET INTO RIGHT NOW I AM CURRENTLY OUTSIDE OF THE UNIVERSE YOU'RE CURRENTLY IN. THE UNIVERSE I ORIGINALLY CAME FROM ALSO MAY OR MAY NOT BE A DIFFERENT VERSION FROM THE ONE YOU'RE IN, SO WHILE I CAN HELP YOU NOT FUCKING DIE TO SOME DEGREE I CANNOT RELIABLY GUIDE YOU TO *SPECIFIC* SHELTER.

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big ol “n” on the window for now. there were some in the other room but it looked to be in the middle of the night. i hoe the sun rises soon so i don’t have to run outta here in the middle of the night also!! i figured out how to record voice messages on this thing so i’m relying on audio logs rather now [sounds of something being shoved aside] i did find a vent though!!!!! it’s just- urf- covered with junk. god whoever lived here was a *hoarder.* [small pause] i’d say it looks big enough two joeys to squeeze through (hehe.) praying it actually leads somewhere!! will update as soon as i get back!!!!!!!

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Bingo. Be careful.