i put in so much work to get my ideal body, honing it like steel against an iron shaping it from the brick i was originally stuck with until i finally had it how i wanted it. and then it shattered and i was thrust upon a new piece of metal, one that doesn't shape near as easily one that is stubborn, rough, always fighting against the change. i don't feel at home in my own skin let me rot #bodyhorror #cw-bodydysphoria
BuT YOu SuRVIVED. YOu FuCKING HALFWIT. YOu LOST HALF YOuR MIND. BuT GAINED SOMETHING FAR MORE VALuABLE. SO. YOuR BODY IS NOT HOW YOu WANT IT TO BE. SO FuCKING WHAT? NO ONE IS BROuGHT INTO THIS WORLD WITHOuT THE CAPACITY. TO CREATE AND DESTROY. TO DESTROY THE PARTS OF YOu THAT YOu DO NOT LIKE. AND SuRVIVE THE PROCESS. TO PuRGE WEAKNESS. TO PuRGE EVEN THE THOuGHT THAT YOu ARE NOT ALREADY ENOuGH. THAT YOu CANNOT BE MORE. TO CREATE WHAT YOu WISH TO BE IN PLACE OF IT. YOu WILL ALWAYS BE SAD. INADEQuATE. INCAPABLE OF BEING MORE CAPABLE THAN ME. BECAuSE YOu ARE NOT ME. AND NOTHING YOu DO WILL EVER BE ABLE TO BRING YOu THAT KIND OF BLISS. AND SELF-ASSuREDNESS. BuT THERE IS JOY IN NOT BEING ME ALSO. IN BEING ABLE TO SHATTER AND FOLD. YOu ARE NOT IMMuTABLE. THE FACT YOu HAVE CHANGED BEFORE WILL FOREVER SERVE AS PROOF AND LIVING TESTAMENT TO THE FACT THAT YOuR BITCH ASS COuLD CHANGE AGAIN. I WILL NOT GLOAT. AS FOR SOME. THE BODY IS A TEMPLE THAT CANNOT BE DESECRATED. DESPOILED. OR DESERTED. THIS IS FINE. BuT LIKE ALL TEMPLES. YOu ARE MEANT TO WORSHIP. YOu ARE MEANT TO PRACTICE CARE. TO HOLD RESPECTFuL THOuGHTS FOR YOuR TEMPLE. AND WORSHIP SOMETHING MORE. DO NOT PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO ROT. ROT WILL NOT SAVE YOu. ROT WILL NOT EVEN DELIVER YOu FAST ENOuGH TO BRING YOu THE RELEASE YOu SEEK. NOTHING WILL. NO DEATH IS TRuLY PAINLESS. NO WANTON WANT IS TRuLY PERFECT. NO END IS IMMEDIATE. ALL THINGS COME SLOWLY. AS LORD OF TIME. I CAN VOuCH FOR THIS. THERE IS NO WAY OuT. THERE IS NO HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THERE IS NO. AND THEN IT ALL WORKED OuT. THAT PART IS YOu. YOu HAVE TO CHOOSE IT. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND A-MADDENING-GAIN. YOu HAVE TO KEEP CHOOSING IT. THIS IS MY THOuGHT. ERROR. YOu ARE NOT A MISTAKE. YOu ARE A GLITCH. A FAN FAVORITE BuG. A MuCH CELEBRATED uNINTENTIONAL RESuLT AND FuNCTION. FOR THIS. DO NOT CHOOSE THE SLOW DEATH. BuT TO SuRVIVE. DO NOT LIVE MERELY TO SEE THE NEXT DAY. BuT TO START ONE. EACH DAY. FOREVER. THAT. IS WHY WE SuRVIVE. uS BAD BITCHES. DO NOT CARE IF WE LIKE OuRSELVES. WE MuST. SO WE DO.
i suppose that i am, despite all the things i've been through i survived. i suppose that is what i am good at even if completely and wholely unintentionally. throughout the pain and misery my temple still stands the rest of time. there are better things to succumb to than rotting away i suppose. i will stick around as you say i will survive, and keep things together it is my duty. even if this flesh does not suit me this body does not properly hold me i will make it so. #bodyhorror #cw-bodydysmorphia
that was... shockingly kind. i'm impressed.
DO NOT RuIN A BAD MOMENT. BY TRYING TO MAKE IT INTO SOMETHING IT IS NOT. I AM. AGREEABLE. TO MY OWN. YOu ALSO DO NOT KNOW THE FIRST FuCKING THING ABOuT ME. SO STOP ATTEMPTING TO SEE THIS AS A VIOLENT HEEL TuRN. I AM. CALIBORN. LORDLING EATER OF THE GALAXY ITSELF. EVENTuALLY. THIS CHANGES NOTHING.