Something under the floorboards. Could pry them up, but the carpeting costs in Midnight City are... Well. Suffice to say the lady-likin' sorts are damn shit outta luck.
DISREGARD. ANY STRANGE NOISES. AS PERFECTLY REGuLAR ONES. I DROPPED THE KEYS. TO MY FuCKMASSIVE MCMANSION SuITE ESTATE. IT IS LIKELY JuST ME. SHuFFLING IN PLACE. GROPING BLINDLY IN THE DARK. AND TRIPPING OVER. BOTH MYSELF. AND THE MANY MYRIAD BEVVIES OF BITCHES. WHO SEE FIT. TO OBSTRuCT MY PATH. WITH THEIR VARIOuS IMPEDIMENTS. AND VERITABLE OBSTACLE COuRSE. OF GARGANTuAN JIGGLES. I AM QuITE LITERALLY DROWNING IN BITCHES. I BARELY HAVE ENOuGH TIME. TO COME uP FOR AIR. IN FACT. SEND HELP. YOu ARE THE ONE WITH THE CROWBAR. RIGHT? APTLY NAMED. FOR YOuR CuTTING INTELLIGENCE. AND BRILLIANCE. IN DOING WHAT I SAY. BRING SOMETHING HEAVY. AND SMASH IT AT THEM. THE BITCHES. AND THE FLOORBOARDS. HELP ME FIND MY KEYS. PRONTO.
Sir, yessir. Two stripes, one solid, and a bill pre-issued. Not a thing in the world more important than whatever nonsense you need now, immediately.
SO REFRESHING. TO SPEAK TO SOMEBODY. CIVILIZED. SOMEBODY WHO JuST. GETS ME. DO YOu HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FRuSTRATING. EVERYTHING IS? BEING RIGHT ALL OF THE TIME. BEING MORE CAPABLE THAN EVERYBODY ELSE. EVEN NOW. DOLING OuT THE TASK TO YOu. KNOWING FuLL AND WELL IT COuLD GO uNCOMPLETED. FOR SECONDS. MINuTES. HOuRS. COuNTLESS SMASHWORTHY CLOCKS. TICK TOCKING BY. THEIR INFuRIATINGLY BuLLSHIT INCREMENTS. DIARRHEA SHITCANNONED AGAINST THE WALL. JuST TO SEE WHAT STICKS. ANYWAY. KEEP DOING WHAT YOu'RE GOOD AT. WHICH IS. WHATEVER I TELL YOu. BECAuSE IT IS YOuR MOST MEMORABLE TRAIT OF ALL. MORE EVEN THAN YOuR VERY NAME. WHICH. THANK CONVENIENT ASS FuCK IS ABOVE YOuR TIME WASTING POST.
Ninnies and doddering feeble grannies worship the pavement you skid on, sir.
RIGHTFuLLY SO. IT IS EVER SO IRKSOME. TO HAVE TO KEEP SKIDDING. AND SKATING. ACROSS PAVEMENT SHATTERED. BY MY MASSIVE SCHLONG. IT IS OPPRESSIVE. THE PRESSuRE TO STAY EVER ALWAYS THE BEST. AT LITERALLY JuST ABOuT ALMOST LITERALLY EVERYTHING. THE MISCALLANEOuS BITCH CATEGORIES YOu DESCRIBED. CANNOT HELP THEMSELVES. BuT HELP THEMSELVES. TO ME. IT IS COLD AT THE TOP. LuCKILY. THERE IS A REPuGNANT NuMBER. OF LOVESTRuCK. LOOSE LuCIES. AND LUMBERING LARRIES. LUMBERJACKED TO HIGH SHIT. ALL TO TIDE ME OVER. TIL SuNRISE. AND ALSO YOu. YOu ARE THERE ALSO. uNLESS. YOu WANT TO BuMP SHOuLDERS. WITH THE TYPES OF LOOSE LuCY. AND LuMBERJACKING OFF LARRIES. WHO BREAK BREAD. AT THE BREAD LINES. FOR uNEMPLOYED PEOPLE. WHO CANNOT AFFORD ALTERNATIVES.