“IF THERE’S A READ MORE BUTTON NO ONE WILL CLICK IT” OHHHHHHH. OH OKAY. OKAY SO I GUESS EVERYONE HAS THE ATTENTION SPAN AND READING COMPREHENSION OF A WORTHLESS SPINELUMP PIECE OF GARBAGE WRIGGLER WHO USES AN AI BOT TO HELP THEM BREATHE AND WIPE THEIR OWN WASTECHUTE. OF *COURSE* NO ONE *READS* ANYMORE, SILLY ME. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER, *MY FUCKING BAD*.
YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY CHITINOUS WINDPIPE AND SMACKED THEM SLOPPY STYLE RIGHT ONTO MY REPLIES THREAD. THANK YOU, KARKAT. I KNEW YOU’D HAVE AN INTERPRETATION WORTH A SHIT. AND THANKS FOR BOTHERING TO READ IT. I KNOW JUST AS WELL AS YOU DO THAT NOT MANY PEOPLE STOP TO SMELL THE ROSES SO TO SPEAK. THE ROSES BEING OUR DRIVEL.
GOG, DO I FUCKING UNDERSTAND. I’VE BEEN READING AND DIBBLING THROUGH SOME STUPID BOOKS LATELY, AND IT IRRITATES THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF ME BECAUSE I WANT TO LIKE THEM. I REALLY DO. BUT THEN I GET A FEW CHAPTERS IN AND I’M JUST SITTING THERE THINKING, ‘WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS?’ AND IT’S NOT EVEN ALWAYS THE STORY ITSELF. SOMETIMES IT’S JUST… THE WRITING. THE WAY IT’S PUT TOGETHER. THE DIALOGUE. THE FUCKING WORD CHOICES. SOMETHING ABOUT IT JUST FEELS OFF. I COULD GO INTO IT IN WAY MORE DETAIL, BUT THIS IS NEITHER THE PLACE NOR THE TIME FOR ME TO START WRITING A FUCKING THESIS ON WHY THIS BOOK IS PISSING ME OFF, AND I HAVEN’T EVEN FINISHED IT YET, SO I’LL HOLD OFF ON THAT RANT FOR NOW. THERE’S ANOTHER KARKAT ON HERE WHO’S HAVING BASICALLY THE SAME PROBLEM, TOO, WHICH AT LEAST MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE LESS INSANE. AND THEN I’LL TALK TO SOME OF THE BEINGS ON HERE AND THEY’LL BE LIKE, ‘BUT THIS BOOK IS REALLY GOOD!’ AND I’M JUST SITTING THERE LIKE— ‘IN WHAT MANNER???’ WHAT PART OF THIS IS GOOD? THE PLOT? THE CHARACTERS? THE PROSE? THE DIALOGUE? THE FACT THAT EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS ASSEMBLED BY A MACHINE THAT WAS GIVEN THE INSTRUCTIONS ‘WRITE A BOOK’ AND NOTHING ELSE? I SWEAR TO GOG, SOMETIMES I’M READING IT AND THINKING, ‘THIS READS LIKE AI WROTE IT.’ AND THEN I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE FOR THINKING THAT BECAUSE APPARENTLY EVERYONE ELSE LOVES IT. BUT I’M SORRY. I NEED TO KNOW WHY YOU THINK IT’S GOOD. DON’T JUST TELL ME IT’S GOOD. TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOOD ABOUT IT.
AND ONLY AFTER WRITING ALL OF THAT DID I REALIZE I WAS RANTING. …SORRY. APPARENTLY I HAVE SOME FEELINGS ABOUT BOOKS.
EXACTLY. THERE HAS TO BE A REASON, AND EQUALLY, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DEFEND SAID REASON WITH YOUR WHOLE PUSHER. THE “WHY” IS SOMETHING EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IN THE LAST FEW SWEEPS. NOT THAT IM TROLL ARISTOTLE OR ANYTHING, BUT NO ONE *THINKS* ANYMORE.
I LIKE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT BOOKS. KEEP SAYING THEM.
IT REALLY DOES SEEM LIKE THE WORLDS HAVE LOST THEIR FUCKING THINK PANS. I’M STARTING TO WONDER IF I’M THE ONE LOSING MINE FOR EXPECTING PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY FUCKING USE THEM.
LOOK, IF I ACTUALLY MANAGE TO FINISH THIS FUCKING BOOK, I’LL POST A WHOLE CHIT ABOUT IT AS A REVIEW. BUT RIGHT NOW THE REAL CHALLENGE IS NOT THROWING THE DAMN THING INTO A FIRE, BECAUSE AT LEAST THEN IT’D BE USEFUL AS KINDLING. AND, TO BE FAIR, MY GRUB KEEPS MOST OF MY ATTENTION THESE DAYS, SO THAT DOESN’T EXACTLY LEAVE ME WITH A LOT OF TIME FOR READING. WHICH IS PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, BECAUSE HE’S CONSIDERABLY MORE INTERESTING THAN THIS BOOK ANYWAY.
RE-FUCKING CHIT. MASSIVELY.
IF YOU GET AROUND TO IT, PING ME, BECAUSE I’M DYING TO GIVE IT A READ.
I’LL MAKE SURE YOU’RE THE FIRST ONE I PING WHEN I FINALLY FINISH THE DAMN THING. DON’T WORRY. YOU’LL GET THE FULL RANT. I’LL BE TESTING THE CHIT LIMIT WHILE I’M AT IT.