HERE IS THE OFFICIAL START OF #MOVIEKAT ‘S #SEVERANCE POSTING. LET’S GET FUCKING SEVERED. I’M NOT GOING TO GET TOO GRANULAR HERE, IT’S JUST GOING TO BE MY OWN THOUGHTS AS I WATCH EACH EP, SHORT AND SIMPLE, BECAUSE NOBODY INCLUDING MYSELF HAS TIME FOR A GODDAMN SAGA WHILST I’M IN THE MIDST OF MY MAGNUM OPUS. IF ANYONE COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD YOU’RE GETTING CULLED. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/F967626A0ED3.JPEG
This is a comment on this post.
IGNORE THE GIRL WHO’S APPARENTLY ITCHING TO GET CULLED. THIS IS EPISODE ONE OF SEVERANCE. LOTS OF INFO TO TAKE IN HERE, AND VISUALLY, IT IMMEDIATELY SUCKER PUNCHES YOU WITH A DANK, LISTLESS OFFICE SPACE THAT LEAVES YOU FEELING DOA. FANTASTIC OPENING SCORE. OFFBEAT COMEDY THAT I FIND UNSETTLINGLY FUNNY. EAGER TO SEE THE NEXT ONE.
EPISODE 2. WE LEARN MARGINALLY MORE ABOUT WHAT EXACTLY THE COMPANY LUMON EVEN DOES. MACRODATA REFINEMENT, APPARENTLY, BUT AS TO WHAT THE DATA IS, THEY DON’T KNOW. ALL THEY UNDERSTAND IS THAT CERTAIN NUMBERS PRODUCE FEAR, AND THEN THEY BIN THEM DIGITALLY TO CLEAR THEM. AT THE END OF EPISODE ONE WE MET UP WITH PETEY, WHO AS WE UNDERSTAND, HAS ESCAPED THE LOOP AND IS SUFFERING… WITHDRAWALS? UNCLEAR. HE’S STAYING IN MARK’S BASEMENT. AGAIN, VISUALLY STUNNING. THERE HAVE BEEN A FEW FRAMES ALREADY THAT I’VE RUSHED TO SCREENSHOT. LIKE THIS ONE. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/C56C957A5BF0.JPEG
EPISODE 3, THINGS ARE COMING TO A SIMMER ALREADY. THERE’RE EGG DROP CHALLENGES, SPECULATION ABOUT MUSCLE SHOWS, AND VISITS TO THE PERPETUITY WING ABOUND. WHAT JOYS. PETEY IS GLITCHING OUT HEAVY BY NOW. HE WARNS MARK THAT THOUGH THE SEVERING PROCEDURE MIGHT BE HELPING HIM, HIS SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS MIGHT BE CAUSING HIM TO OVERLOOK THE FACT THAT HE MIGHT BE CULLING PEOPLE FOR EIGHT HOURS A DAY AND DOESN’T EVEN REALIZE. MRS. SELVICK. THE DETAILS. A NEEDLEPOINT ON HER WALL SAYING “WE MUST BE CUT TO HEAL”, AND THE FACT THAT SHE’S DRIVING A WHITE RABBIT MAKE OF SCUTTLEBUGGY? UGH. FUCKING #DETAILS PEOPLE. THIS IS WHAT #MOVIEKAT REVIEWS ARE ALL ABOUT. HELLY IS STILL TRYING TO GET A MESSAGE OUT TO HER OUTIE, BUT SHE KEEPS GETTING HER SHAME GLOBES BUSTED BY MARK, WHO KEEPS COMING UP WITH IDEAS ABOUT HOW IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO LEAVE. WHETHER I BELIEVE THEM OR NOT IS TO BE DETERMINED, SOUNDS LIKE A LOAD OF SHIT. THE PERPETUITY WING. WHAT A SCENE. FUCKING CREEPY HUMAN WAX FIGURES AND A MUSEUM OF THEIR 150 YEAR COMPANY HISTORY. THE BIGGEST CLUE I’M GLEANING FROM THIS PART IS THAT PERHAPS THE OFFICE WORKERS ARE SEPARATING CODE INTO THE FOUR TEMPERS AS DESCRIBED BY THE FIRST CEO KIER. WHATEVER ALL THAT SCRUPULOUS CRAP IS, HELLY ISN’T BUYING IT, NEITHER AM I. SHE FREAKS AND MAKES A BREAK FOR IT, AND ENDS HERSELF UP IN THE “BREAK ROOM”, WHICH IS LIKE HUMAN SCIENTOLOGY IF IT WERE SOMEHOW EVEN MORE EVIL. CONDITIONING AND STALLION-BREAKING IS ABUNDANT IN THIS EPISODE, AND IT MAKES YOU THINK, HOW MUCH OF IT IS ILLUSION, AND HOW MUCH OF IT IS CONCRETE? OH, AND MARK FINDS THE OLD MAP PETEY LEFT HIM, COMPLETE WITH THE COIL OF DOOM. NICE ONE, PETEY. TOO BAD HE’S NOW HEMORRHAGING OUTSIDE OF A GAS STATION. CLIFFHANGER. NEXT ONE UP SOON. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/2B1AAD472969.WEBP
I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S HOW YOU SPELL THAT HUMAN LADY’S LAST NAME, WHATEVER, DON’T CARE, MOVING ON.
“LET NOT WEAKNESS LIVE IN YOUR VEINS, CHERISHED WORKERS DROWN IT INSIDE YOU. RISE UP FROM YOUR DEATHBED AND GO FORTH, MORE PERFECT FOR THE STRUGGLE.” PRETTY POIGNANT, ISN’T IT? THIS WAS QUOTED BY IRVING AND BURT AS THEY STAND IN FRONT OF IRVING’S FAVORITE PAINTING OF KIER IN THE ARCHIVE SECTION OF THE ART DEPARTMENT. THEY SEEM TO HAVE A MOMENT, AN UNAUTHORIZED ONE. THIS WHOLE EPISODE, REALLY, HAS BEEN A WHOLE FUCKTON OF UNAUTHORIZED MOVES. I TOLD MYSELF THESE WERE GOING TO BE CONCISE BUT I JUST CAN’T HELP MYSELF. SO HERE WE GO. HELLY FINDS THE MAP ON THE BACK OF THE PHOTO BY SNOOPING IN MARK’S OFFICE CUBICLE, AND MARK SHREDS IT. BECAUSE OF THIS, HELLY PROTESTS YET AGAIN BY DEMANDING SHE TAPE A RESIGNATION REQUEST TO HER OUTIE OR SHE’LL CUT OFF HER FINGERS. THE NEXT MORNING, SHE’S BACK AT THE OFFICE AGAIN, WHERE HER OUTIE SHARES WITH HER A DEVASTATING COUPLE OF SENTENCES: “HERE’S THE REALITY. I AM A PERSON, YOU ARE NOT. I MAKE THE DECISIONS, YOU DO NOT. AND IF YOU EVER DO ANYTHING TO MY FINGERS, KNOW THAT I WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO HORRIBLY REGRET THAT.” I AM A PERSON. YOU ARE NOT. HOLY. FUCKING. FUCKSHIT. I NEEDED TO PAUSE AFTER THAT FOR A MINUTE. PETEY IS PRONOUNCED DEAD. MARK GOES TO HIS SERVICE AND SEES BOSS LADY COBEL (AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF SUBSTANCE I WAS ON LAST NIGHT TO BE GIVING HER A RANDOM ASS NAME, SORRY), WHO’S THERE BECAUSE SHE’S AIMING TO ACQUIRE THE SEVERANCE CHIP IN PETEY’S HEAD BEFORE HE GETS CREMATED. WE ALSO MEET PETEY’S DAUGHTER AND EX WIFE. WE GET TO SEE SOME HOME VIDEOS DURING HIS FUNERAL WHILST MISS CRAZY DRILLS INTO HIS SKULL TO GRAB THE CHIP, AND MARK HAS AN INNER FREAK OUT AS HE GRAPPLES WITH THE LOSS— IS HIS BRAIN FIGHTING TO REMEMBER? IT ENDS WITH A MONTAGE OF A WELLNESS SESSION FOR MARK, HELLY TRYING TO HANG HERSELF IN THE ELEVATOR, DYLAN DISCOVERING AN UNAUTHORIZED BOOK, AND IRVING DEVELOPING A BUDDING RELATIONSHIP WITH BURT. #MOVIEKAT #SEVERANCE
IRVING X BURT OLD MAN YAOISLOP???????????? OH MY FUCK??????????
I HAVE FINISHED SEVERANCE SEASON ONE. I HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING BUSY THAT I’M NOT GOING TO POST PER-EPISODE FOR THE LATTER HALF OF SEASON ONE, BUT JUST KNOW I HAVE *THOUGHTS*, AND I AM PHYSICALLY RESTRAINING MYSELF FROM TYPING AN ANTHOLOGY FOR YOUR SAKE AND MY OWN. MY TAKEAWAYS, WITHOUT RECAPPING THE PLOT, BECAUSE AGAIN, NOBODY HAS THE SPONGECELLS: THE INNIES LEARN A SNIPPET OF WHAT THEIR LIVES ARE RESPECTIVELY LIKE FOR THEIR OUTIES DUE TO THE OVERTIME CONTINGENCY CONSPIRACY THEY PULL OFF, AND HOLY SHIT?! HELLY IS AN EGAN? AND SHE’S KIND OF DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR FURTHERING LUMON’S BULLSHIT. AND WE LEARN THAT MARK’S WIFE IS ***ALIVE***, AND SHE’S… MISS CASEY?! FUCKKKKKK. OH MY GOD. I NEED A MINUTE. WHAT THE FUCKING BARFING SHITTING FUCK IS THE WAFFLE PARTY ABOUT. UGH, IT GIVES ME SHIVERS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. THERE’S DEFINITELY SOMETHING HEINOUSLY CULTY ABOUT LUMON (DUH), FROM THE WEIRD ORGY DANCE CEREMONY POOR DYLAN HAD TO EXPERIENCE TO THE HUMAN SCIENTOLOGY REFERENCES DOWN TO EVEN KIER EGAN’S FACE BEING ON ALL OF THE LICENSE PLATES AND RESTAURANTS BEING NAMED BY THE FOUR TEMPERS, IT’S CLEAR THEY’RE RUNNING THIS SHIT. BUT WHAT’S THE *PURPOSE*. THAT’S WHAT I’M MISSING. MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE I’M NOT A PSYCHO AND THEREFORE DON’T THINK LIKE ONE, BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO MAKE THE COMPLETE CONNECTION JUST YET. I’M ALREADY EAGERLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING AND SUBSEQUENTLY REWATCHING ALL THE REST OF THE EPISODES. HAVE THIS GODAWFUL SCREEN GRAB OF SETH THAT MAKES MY PUSHER DROP INTO MY ASSHOLE. #MOVIEKAT #SEVERANCE HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/E433084A0106.JPEG
PUTTING THIS HERE FOR ARCHIVAL REASONS. SEVERANCE EPISODE 7 SEASON 2, TIMESTAMP 16:38. I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS. SPOILERS, SORRY NOT SORRY. OH FUCK RIGHT OFF. GEMMA WAS FUCKING PREGNANT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HER AND MARK HAD SUCH A HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER AND NOW WE’RE HERE. YOU CAN *SEE* THE LIGHT LEAVING HER EYES IN THE TEN SECONDS OF THAT CLIP FROM THE TIMESTAMP. I’M FUCKING ILL, IM GOING TO BE SICK EVERYWHERE AND IT’S BEN STILLER’S FAULT.