my mind is like a woven tapestry being tugged at the corners to reveal the gaps between and through them i see it and i know it can give me everything i could want and i know its also bullshit and a liar. one corner tugs and i feel giddy and elated, that i can once more indulge in the annoyance and teasing of a vile individual. another corner tugs and i feel sorrow, that i cannot speak my thoughts and feelings for some, that i cannot help people. another corner tugs and i feel a need to protect, to nurture, to hold while another corner tugs and incites a burning fucking violent rage and beneath it all the gaps in the woven fabric that become wider as the corners are pulled apart, leaving billions of billions of billions of small holes, a trypophobia of the soul. not literally of course, since my actual soul is literally a blade. i forgot where i was going with all of this. i might be a little bit insane? a lottle bit actually. perhaps perhaps not who knows. rambling. #rambling. #cw-mental-health. #not-a-vent-just-rambling-but-i-suppose-it-could-be-seen-that-way. #vent. #for-taggings-sakes.