My apes wouldn't be gone, if I had them.
Epistemologically speaking, yes.
If I had theoretical apes, I would conceptually take good care of them.
You mock my plight? I thought we we had an understanding.
Have you considered taking better care of your apes. Giving them enrichment.
Ah. I see the misunderstanding. You think I am talking about abusing and neglecting actual lusii. Not so, my friend, I merely lost some very valuable images 'aping' (hah) swingbeasts.
Oh, no. I understand. I mean you need to put your apes into enrichment. Get yourself a Tamagotchi and do some punchcard alchemy.
Oh, I see. This is...Not a terrible suggestion. I could do so much more with my apes if I could foist them off as virtual pets. I know at least one person who'd fall for that, hook line and sinker. Thank you very much.