♣ mediated by @golgothasTerrorized
You poor little baby. I'll try to find more time for you this week. I've been extremely busy doing those super important things I told you about in private that you cannot mention here... so it's been hard finding time to answer the phone.
i tHiNk i jUsT InVeNtEd sOmEtHiN NeW.
I should introduce myself. *Sips from a cup of espresso.* The name's Crocker... Detective Crocker. You can also call me Jane if you buy me lunch. :B I'm here on business, but I don't mind mixing business with pleasure. Hoo hoo. I'm looking forward to meeting you all and please, do let me know if you have a murder that needs solving!
Shopping trip. #BettyCrocker #Reup #NeedMyMix #Yummers!
☆ Finally fuKKin free. Anyway happy #firearmfriday this weeK I’m raving about the Chiappa Rhino, a beauty of a revolver this little number boasts a hexagonal cylinder rather than a circular one, chambered in .357 and boasting over 40 moving parts maKes her an intriKate little beauty. You Kan also get stupid with her and have her be a weird little snubnose which is fun for Konceal Karry but I love me a longer barrel. https://postimg.cc/t19JFwc0 https://postimg.cc/8FTcL90n https://postimg.cc/NyQFRSz3☆
had this #dream that i was in these sick ass lil cowboy boots n sum smexy lil jorts we were on a cliff goin upways thru the deserty bluffs & when i looked @ the sign it said we were going up bareback mountain #woaw #trustory
I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're watching old Youtube for the next six hours. Excluding official music videos, but including noteworthy brand advertisements. Justin Beiber's Baby is out. Rebecca Black's Friday is in. Old Spice "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like" is a-go. We have a sensible bouquet of Key of Awesome, The Gregory Brothers, and the RESPECTABLE Lonely Island skits. The old ones, with the homemade aesthetic. We have a thirty minute block of talking and/or emoting baby videos, followed by an Annoying Orange "Wazzup" palate cleanser, immediately followed by thirty more minutes of various cat videos. Nyan Cat falls under the animated chapter of the docket rather than the feline, for what I hope are obvious reasons. We then have a full hour of adult men angrily reviewing various pieces of media AND/OR ragequitting from a game. I like to mix my unjustifiable tirades with full-blown meltdowns for variety. From there we dive headfirst into the animation section. I've compiled a Llamas with Hats extended edit, amongst others. Then I say we cut a left to comedic skit dub-overs, culminating in The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger. Then onto the bloopers. We have a SUPERCUT of various gaffes and boners ranging from popular cinematic works to voice-acting to news reels. Our musical outro will be the DJ Earworm United State of Pop 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011 in that order. THEN if you're still feeling froggy, we can pivot to old-school brawling videos caught on tape, from your phone, under the blankets. You will have to hold the phone up. And then sex I guess. #NSFW.
i want to be a pornographic caricature but i have these stupid emotional and physical needs.