Dirk.
@temperamentTestified
Don't bother me unless you have something of value to say.
8=D < Rarity 100ks so mare-velous in her new tack. #WaifuWednesday #MLP #HoofbeastPlay #Pony
8=D < Based on what?
6ased on this is a good post
8=D < Oh flank you!
I never do this, but you would make a one-of-a-kind brand ambassador. A free trial of #PlushRump is waiting for you in the DMs. Just remember to cancel or start contributing content before that time’s up, or you’re getting auto-billed $69.99 per perigee. Also, upholstery cleaner should get those stains out. Pro tip.
8=D < Oh hoovens! I hoof never been a brand ambassador before. 8==D < It sounds like quite the clopportunity to put on a pony show! 8=D < I will be shire to try upholstery cleaner, I want Rarity to 100k perfect if we are going to put on a show!
While I do have advice, I h8 to say it. 8locked.
What my colleague fails to mention is that there are certain viewership metric minimums you'll be required to surpass in order to maintain such a coveted status. Not to worry, however. I'm not one to throw a filly-eyed prospective debutante to the audience of wolves without something resembling a rescue glide. Get that first video uploaded before the free trial ends, and you'll have some new toys and costars to play with. Be sure to install HAL on your designated work device.
8=D < You two are very kind! 8=D < I will have to film something bulb catching if I am to keep this deal, yes? 8=D < Not to worry! This pony knows how to ride.
👎👎👎 cmon man... you're mak1n BOTH of us look bad at th1s po1nt... }:(
8=D < Is that so? 8=D < If only there was a way to get me to rein it in. 8=D < If only your mane concern wasn't your reputation.
Very interesting seeing certain people in my replies. I have to wonder what brought them to care about my posts at all considering the tension that tends to form between us across all timelines. Much to think about.
girl get up..
unfortunately all yaoi activities are directly projected into my pan
On an entirely unrelated note, I think that certain people should get their heads bashed in repeatedly until they're nothing but a red stain on the floor. This isn't targeted to anyone who can see it to my knowledge and not spurred on by anything in particular. This is a constant thought. #violence
You look like the kind of guy to get spontaneous wedgies from cartoon bullies.
I don't think I'm allowed to call you a slur but just know that I'm thinking of one right now. Fuck you.
She has far too much cuteness factor for a grown ass man with muscles that size. I feel lightheaded.
MIND YOU, I HAVE LORD ENGLISH'S GIFT. CHECKMATE, BUDDY. HAHAHAHAHAHA. HOLY SHIT.
I DON'T THINK I EVER HAVE BEEN. YOU MAKE A GREAT CLOWN.
I HAVE NOT LAUGHED THIS HARD IN A LONG TIME. OH MY GOD.
.SPILL THE TEa
.i dont get iT ?is it because hes actually pandeath levels of cringE
Yes. This was a real genuine comeback to me saying that he would be dealt with. I feel sick.
.HAHAHAHa .imagine seriously trying to quip back with some shit likE .WAH WAh my superpower sugartroll makes me stronger than you SO I WIn .actually so saD .cancel them botH
.cancel that one AND the shy dirK .that little cunt putting a scar on all of you orange dreamsicle cuntS
.by the way you pass the vibe checK .solidarity elbow checK
It seems I have a new fan, @technologicalNarrativism https://i.postimg.cc/XJ6NjN04/image.png
a pity party in your notifs
Yet again, I am reminded of why I don't post on here. How fucking moronic do you have to be to sexualize a stranger's completely covered torso and not back down and apologize when he clearly does not appreciate your revolting comments?
I'm aware. Your foul little display of affection made me gag. Keep him contained if he can't keep his eyes from wandering to other men.
==> We're the same man. We have the same body.
We are the same man but we are not at all the same person. You're far too soft. Now get out of my replies, you've defended your pathetic boytoy enough.
==> We are the same person. I'm you, if you let yourself grow into a real person, instead of endlessly chasing the misinterpretation of clout that a centuries old dead guy once held for us. Move on.
What exactly are you trying to convey here? https://i.postimg.cc/PJhq4X6K/image.png
this whole arguments pretty fucking stupid but i figured id contribute on behalf of my good bro. that being said "have you considered it was a joke" is an interesting response to "i dont particylarly enjoy being sexualized."
==> The inspect tool is truly one of great use. Thanks for reminding me.
particularly* see, if i could spell thatd help.
==> If you boil it down like that I'm definitely in the wrong. Sorry.
atta boy. real simple aint it?
Hello. I apologize for my slight absence. Rose and I got a bit held up with something but all is well now. Has anything important happened since I last checked in or is it the same trivial nonsense that people typically post here?
Nothing of note has happened that I know of. :D
what abOOut the hOOrse?
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Anyways, I'm done talking about him and giving him any attention. Happy pride month! Let's go, gays!
I cannot fucking imagine stooping to such a level. I cannot imagine being that much of a desperate, whiny fuck. I cannot wrap my brain around even entertaining the thought for a mere moment. "Hey! I think I should do the dumbest fucking thing anyone has ever done... and then proceed to do the NEW dumbest thing anyone has ever done!" Only he could actually manage to have such an intelligent thought process. I thought that maybe dragging him along through this entire setup of dates and arguments and blah blah blah would eventually lead to something favorable, but no. I did not take into account how much of a fucking disappointment he truly is. I did not think, even for a moment, that he would seriously kiss the ground in which the most annoying man in the universe walks. That one specifically, I mean. Everyone involved needs to be shot dead and I mean that with my whole heart. If God loves me, he will strike them all down one by one in various gruesome ways so I don't have to waste time and energy on doing it myself.
Words cannot describe how disappointed I am. Good fucking grief. I hope you and your knew brain dead boyfriend have fun engaging in the most embarrassing public display I have ever seen in my long, agonizing lifetime.
New* I can't even spell, that's how viscerally upset I am.
I don't want to hear it. Get out of my replies.
Oh wow. That's one of the most embarrassing things I've ever read. I honestly might be sick. #vagueposting
I'm feeling confident we just read the same thing.
I wish I knew, Mr. Strider. I wish I knew.
We could not be more obviously discussing @triumphantTestificate if we tried.
Dirk, get out of my fucking comment section. Go do something, man.
What Jake doesn't know is that, regardless of the way in which he talks about me, I'm still on his mind. He isn't over me in the slightest and he never will be at this rate. Nothing productive will come of constantly bringing up my name, he will continue to be hyped up as this Free Girlboss who doesn't need me, and no one will see how laughably ironic it is. You're all doing exactly what I want you to do. Feed into his delusions so it hurts worse when he realizes how much he needs me in his life.
Is this something you do often or am I special? Should we have a disgusting #selfcest make out session to get over the tension building between us? Your move, jackass.
You don't have to explicitly say my name to let everyone know that your pathetic little #divorced and #queer post was about me. And what happened to this pathetic little display? https://i.postimg.cc/K4XYDkC1/image.png
I'm glad that you found someone willing to put up with your thoughtless babbling, though it really doesn't look good on you to continue acting like a fool in situations that have nothing to do with you. If I were this person I would run for the hills. Maybe find someone with more self respect and a less wounded ego. It's not healthy to call yourself mean names, Dirky.
The offer is still on the table, Jake. I just figured you had backed out in the spirit of sticking it to the man and being independent.
You are such an angry little man, aren't you? What exactly has your panties in a twist tonight? I'm sure this extends far past the typical way in which you loathe yourself.
And there he goes, folks. Running away from the question because he can't acknowledge how overly aggressive and unreasonably hostile he's been. His cowardice will haunt him for the rest of his days and he will lie awake at night wondering how he managed to make such a fool of himself.. completely of his own free will! He will never know and neither will the better version of himself. It will be left as one of life's many pathetic mysteries.
Are you sure about that? I have everything prepared and I was on my way to get you before all of this. I can turn around and carry on with my life if that's what you really want.
I guess that camping trip isn't happening then. Womp fucking womp.
I hate that I still feel anything for you. I wish I hated you. It would be easier if I did.
That was after we took that camping trip, wasn't it? You look pretty.
Oh god was my bitch face really that bad? Yeah, keeping it covered is probably for the best hahaha. That was a really fun trip aside from all the bug bites. I remember being covered in them by the time we got home.
We should go on another trip soon. My new method of bringing an entire five cans of attack bug spray might result in less complaining. You seemed really happy the whole time and I felt bad raining on your parade but fuck did it hurt.
Ah. Uh. It seems I forgot about our current situation. I apologize.
I love knowing that my closest allies are thinking about nonsense instead of anything of value. I'm not any better but I'm allowed to let my mind wander. Fluff in the narration isn't always a bad thing and sometimes people should know about the ways in which my mind works. I'm the one writing this shit so it holds some weight.
==> Are they thinking about nonsense, or are you narratively keeping them dumb to support your own goals?
I don't doubt that it's both. They're a lot more tolerable when they put up less of a fight, especially Jake. He thinks he knows everything in the fucking world and acts like he's found some magical self worth after a day or two of being away from me. Either way, what I'm doing will be good for all of them. Keeping them mush-brained might just be the easiest way to achieve it, even if it's infuriating to read another post about how everyone is so happy and hunky-dory and #yearning for some #pizza #lol #random #fuckingridiculous.
==> I don't know about that. Rose really values her faculties of thought. If she were to find out about this somehow, it wouldn't end very well for you.
I can always make her forgive me if this gets her panties in a twist. She's not one for stalking my page anyways.
==> She is Lightbound, Dirk. She won't forgive being lied to like that. You forget, she is Ultimate as well. Who's to say, in her anger, she takes the narrative from before you make her forgive you? Wouldn't it be better to just let it play out naturally, rather than control it so tightly?
I will figure it out. I always figure it out. There isn't a single situation I can't get myself out of. I have faith that she won't take it so harshly. And if I don't control things then everything will go fucking sideways and I'll have to fix it all over again. I've had just about enough of cleaning up the universe's messes. Why not use the power I have instead of letting it go to waste?
my horny ass could never be a ventriloquist. #nsfw #technically
except i can and i am so this joke doesnt land the same.
we're dissolving you man.
aw shit. come on.
Ɏ let the ma-a-an spea-a-ak his truth Ɏ
damn right.
alright. he gets a pass JUST this once.
Ɏ love wins Ɏ
1 CH4NG3D H1S PROF1L3 P1CTUR3 B4CK H3H3H3 YOUR3 W3LCOM3 -T3Z
thx for bringin the tits back rezi u a real one