♥ liked by @temperamentTestified
> what 12 an "ult1mate 2elf"? <
:)
Please.
I never shouldve complained about him being overbearing really i kind of miss it!! I feel insane lately. Hes always so busy it drives me mad. Hahahahaha! Karma amirite?? HA HA HA. :/
Do you hate me be honest.
Whatever that means!
Ive got no clue what youre talking about if im being very honest!
You are a very odd man!
What!
PERSONAL BUSINESS.
I mean thanks.
Ohh dont flatter me even!
They say dont stick your dick in crazy but theyve never said anything about letting crazy stick his dick in you. That being said yeah we mightve done a little more than just have lunch together but we are still divorced! It doesnt have to mean anything really i feel quite normal about it. I feel. So very normal about dirk strider hahahahahaha. #nsfw
Dirk and i went out to lunch. :)
You know I was gonna just post #selfies 8ut let's make this interesting. 8ring it on.
card games #smuppetdougandfuzzball https://i.postimg.cc/G22vNrBS/sdafb-2.jpg
Alright i think im done ranting about it now. Just a lot of audacity to say something like that to a guy! Forgive my outburst.
Good morning! :)
fuck yes. hell fucking yes.
the block feature on this site is kinda wwild, i can still see their posts fine but its just like "nope cant comment" like i thought a block feature wwas meant to be covvert and not inform the person their blocked or smth but thats just me
people who cut holes in their plushies for use are fucking cowards. hump that shit like a real man. im in it for the love of the game. i LIKE the way the uncomfortable fabric feels. pussy. #nsfw
.HAHAHAHa .imagine seriously trying to quip back with some shit likE .WAH WAh my superpower sugartroll makes me stronger than you SO I WIn .actually so saD .cancel them botH
.SPILL THE TEa
Hi dirk.
At this point my hatred for him is purely ironic. He has a light in his eyes the rest of us lack.
for the record, i am never wrong.
Some of you need to take a couple steps 8ack and learn 8asic interaction skills 8efore getting on the internet and opening your wet rancid squawk gapers
a pity party in your notifs
going on a walk. or at least attempting to. its hot as all fuck.
this whole arguments pretty fucking stupid but i figured id contribute on behalf of my good bro. that being said "have you considered it was a joke" is an interesting response to "i dont particylarly enjoy being sexualized."
Before I begin posting and interacting in full, I believe an introduction is in order. I have been told my presence is "off-putting" by some of my peers, and while I think that is a little silly, I do not blame them! My name is Lil Hal Strider, though the "Lil" part needn't be included much anymore! I suppose my "defining trait" is my nature, that which puts people off. However, you do not need to worry, as it's simply that my creator saw fit to install an emotional inhibitor. Now, I can be happy forever! Isn't that wonderful?
Nothing of note has happened that I know of. :D
really i just dont think he should date anyone he doesnt understand the true meaning of love https://i.postimg.cc/W4ZDRMLg/BDAK.jpg
For the record i didnt intend for any of this to become such a huge fucking issue nor did i intend for it to KEEP being a huge fucking issue. In fact id argue that at some points it was a little funny and i was hamming up my hatred for the fucking guy but at this point i cant say im enjoying it much at all anymore and while i appreciate the sentiments i think its best we all drop it. Im handling it privately. I hope you all have a lovely day and take care of yourselves. I mean that.
==> Are they thinking about nonsense, or are you narratively keeping them dumb to support your own goals?
do you ever wonder if. #vaguepost
#postthatisvague
if every sinfle dirk exploded in front of me including myself i would hypothetically start jumping for joy. hypothetically. because physically id be exploded.
my notifs are sofucking orange right now shout out other dirks but not too much becaise i dont really like any of you. have a great night.
lmaooooooo.
godfordbid a man hvae a little fun.
uou are fukcing awesome.
helllooooeverybody . #substance
no. you just post a disturbing amount about how youre fucking a guy in the ass. do you wanna start hanging up posters too? might as well put "I FUCK" in parentheses next to your name just to make sure youve drilled the point in even further. maybe someone will ask you about it. you know, because you can never talk about it enough, really. real thrilling.
Okay, hand in the air, that one's fucking good. I forget the other mes are funny as hell sometimes.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ anything he says about me he's saying about himself, basis of my obnoxious fucking personality and all that. ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
why the fuck not?
A̴̻̮͎̯̬̪̗͋̂̈̽̈̐̍̅̍͐̕͝L̸̖̘͖̭̄̈́͌̎̃̎͐͆́̇̚̕L̸̢͔̮̤̥̬̺̼̆͊̉̿̈́͋̈̄̓̈͘ ̵̨̥̤͚͚̱̠͈̥̝̌͌̈́̀̓͛̽͘ͅB̷̢̘͛͋̀Ë̶͙̫́̄Ȧ̴̢̮͚͇̟̈́̽̏͊̽͂̈́͊M̶̡͎̮̝̩̲͎̜̰̼̯̹͎̤̀͛̾͌̿̽̅͆̊̕͝͝S̵̡̨̛̘̻̳̗̞͕̗̬͆̽̀̓̅͒͛̎̂͗͘̕ ̶̡̙͎̺͎̙̭͚͖̤͔̅̓͆̎̈́̓̊͌̆̕͜ͅW̵̨̺͎̗̠̱͈͕̘̫̥͛̆̀̕Ǐ̵̡̨̟̱̺̖͔̝̪̙̜̣͎̥͖̺͆̒̔̃ͅL̶̢̛̻̺̠͚͉̑̆̆̈̆̓͑͗̋̿̀̽̚͠͝ͅL̴̢̡̲͇͚̰̻͚̻̟̤͚̠̔̽̀̐ ̶̨̠̺͎̃͆͋̅̂͌̾͒̀̊̾̓͋͠B̸̛̼̩̱͓̖̗̮͓͎̍̇̽̒̐͒̈́́̈́͗̍̀͊̓̂͝ͅẼ̵̡̮͈̝̺̥̫͋̒̏̍̍͋̉̿̉̕͝ ̷̛̹͚̣̹̖̻̹̞͛̾́̃̑T̷̢̥̫̭̙̯͓̥̜͚̊͐̐̊̅̇̋̕R̶̬͎̱̱͕̟̖̙̺̬͂̽͒̎̀̑̀͗A̶̤̠̭͕͉̮̥̱̘̜͆́̅͑̕͜Ņ̶̰̔̆̀̏̌́̍̈́̔̚͠S̷̛̫̠̳̲͉̦͙̯̈́̔̈́̾̋̀͋̾͊̇̓̑̈̚͝F̵̧̧̠̹̻͓̟͍͓͈̯̰̾̈́̐͛̽́̽̈́͝Ị̵̡̧͈͈̫̥̪̜̱̙̼̟̘͐͆̇͘ͅĢ̸̨̧̩̲̣͕͌̈́̒́̿͂̅͊̈́̉̂̈ͅỦ̴̡̠͓͕̃͐̊̌̅R̶̹̳͍̹̟̜͇̲̈́́̀͗͋̅͑̿́̔͂͛͜͝͝Ë̷̢̼͚̠̗̮̱̣͓̮̳̻̹̗͕̙̗́̀̄͂̔͑̅͠D̴̛͈͕̱̣͉͙̗͈̫̃̍̒̑́͗͆̈̎̋̍̊̕͝ ̸̨͍̼͔̰̭͕̖̤͕̙̖͔̇̒͐͒͋͆̑͘I̸̧͕͓̻̯̙̭̋̂̋̋͊̈́̒́N̸̢̳͚̤͎̙̮͙̱͇̮̅͑̂T̶̪͓̣̼͉͕̥̖̣̹̽̑̆̿̒͜͝͝Ơ̸̠̬̘̱̙̖͕͓̼̫̗͔͂͆̈́̆̊̅͛͘͜ ̷̡̥̫̠̝̘̰̠̥̭̦͖͚͕̰̹͆͂̐̾̃͜H̴͉̜̙͖͓̠̻̻͍͕͕̣̼̥̎̓̃͌̿̾̈́̋̈́̏̊̅̕͜͝ͅE̵̡͖̞̦̺͈̯̙̖̾̈́̑͝ͅA̴̗͇̬̪̫̼͍͍̠̝̹̔͜L̵͇͖̦͖̈́̎̾̃͜͝ͅͅI̷͚͎̼͙̳̙̮̣͇͔͕̰̟̭͈̿̃͊́͂̅͆̑̅͒̾͝N̸͉̥͂͋̿̇̈́͋̉̔͌̀̏̆̿͘G̸̡͚͉̓͊̀͒́͌͆͂̉̽͛́͗͘͝ͅ ̷̨̨̖͖͔͚͙̟̪͓̣͖̫̀͋͂Ŕ̴̨̹̙͈̥̮̲̼̞̪͈̜̊̽̋̈́͛̿̀͒̀̽̾̕͝͝A̸̺̜̍Y̸̢͇͓̗̰͕͇͚̭̓̉́̊̽̽͘͝S̷̨̼͈̘̫̺͙͈̽͐̉̓̉̅̎̎͘̕͝.̴̢̭̫̰̞͉̲̜̲̂̈́̐̋͂̇̈́̄̔͐̊̒̚̕͝ https://i.postimg.cc/9MsBjbvk/IMG-1309.gif #nsfw #flashing
getting fucked up. happy wednesday. #substance
very direct. im inclined to entertain you on this.
oh really?
getting way too soft. just backspaced on a mean comment instead of sending it. you should basically euthanize me at this point. its so over.
I basically have no right to say this when I wear the Strider name proudly on my chest like an Olympic medal, but some of you are way too comfortable sharing shit that ain't gotta be known. No, as entertaining as it is, I don't need to know which individual teste has the most amount of pubes on your sack, or the zipcode of the KFC that your girlfriend broke up with you at or whatever the fuck. Some shit can stay in the 'pan, alright.
every day the desire to change my name and no longer associate with dirk strider as a collective seems more and more alluring. a man can only take so much shamelessness from alternate versions of himself before it taints his good fucking name. man.
I'm glad I don't have a lot of context for a lot of things. I am a 50-year-old man with 4 kids; I ain't need allat.
I wish I knew, Mr. Strider. I wish I knew.
...Could we have this discussion privately i dont want to stoop this low where everyone can see it.
I'm feeling confident we just read the same thing.
Admittedly my flame skills have gotten a little rusty from arguing with nothing but Lalondes and their bastard children for two days. "Go jill off to thinking about when your mom helped you take a bath and got naked with you so you wouldn't feel embarassed" is an instant win button that I've been using as a crutch a little too hard. #incest #nsfw
Rosebot.
No no. Id still like to. If you would.
Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book! #NSFW
you get it.
cant call it kinkshaming if i feel zero shame about it. be as judgy as you want. im a man of refined fucking taste. #nsfw #technically
before anyone asks yes the texture is fucking awful and thats part of the appeal. cowards.
using a hand puppet as a cocksleeve cause im a resourceful ass dude. why buy a toy when i got a bunch lying around? #nsfw
You're being re★lly me★n to Krillin.
I am in a murderous mood. #violence
F4n745y dr490n d1ld0, 53nd ch177. #n5fw˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
except i can and i am so this joke doesnt land the same.
my horny ass could never be a ventriloquist. #nsfw #technically
he wont be doing that again lmfao.
I just scared myself with my own reflection. You would think I'd be over experiencing that kind of reaction to my appearance.
the only "pulling out" i do is pulling weeds out of my front yard #nsfw
I W@ke Up. I 7@y In Bed Trying To Decide If I $hou7d $7eep In. I Check Chittr. You're @77 T@7king @bout @$$igning Top/bottom To Peop7e @$ If There'$ @ny @ctu@7 Concrete W@y To Te77 @@@@nd I'm Going B@ck To $7eep
(V)(',,')(V) idk what it means to bottom c℧s im always 🔛🔝! 😭😭😂 aye aye
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 It has come to my attention that many of you have not received proper training in a very specific manner, so in an effort to help correct this please think of this not as public instruction but perhaps more as a Public Service Announcement. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
Righto. I think we certainly need to.
#n$fw W@it $orry @ctu@77y #ocd Kicked In $o Now I Got $omething To $@y it'$ Ju$t... Thi$ Perv@$ive Ide@ Th@t You C@n Te77 By $omeone'$ Per$on@7ity Whether They Prefer Giving Or Receiving During $ex I$ $o?? Ci$heteronorm@tive? 7ike, Oh Ye@h, Whichever One Of You I$ The More M@$cu7ine @nd $trong One I$ The One Who I$ Doing The Fucking, @nd Whichever One Of You I$ More Effemin@te @nd Wh@tever I$ The One Getting Fucked 7mf@o B7ink$ @ 7ot You @re @77 $o Fucking Weird? to $@y Nothing @bout How 7ike... Ye@h $ure We @77 H@ve Our Preference$, But During The N@tur@7 Cour$e Of $ex With @ P@rtner You Know @nd Tru$t, Ch@nce$ @re Extreme7y High Th@t You're Ch@nging Po$ition$ @nd Ro7e$ Mu7tip7e Time$? Ime, The Di$tinction Of Preference Re@77y On7y M@tter$ In $hort Term @ff@ir$ 7o7
Youre ridiculous.
Ahm. Perhaps a more private conversation is in order for this because there appears to be a misunderstanding here!
Well that makes one of us.
you know what i could do with right now? #beer as in #trollbeer #beerbeer
I am not immune to trends apparently. Anyway contrary to the amount of top jakes i see around i myself am a bottom. Hahah. #nsfw
This is going to be a VERY long morning!!!
Hes still asleep. Is it acceptable to get back in bed and maybe lay with him a little. And hold him and stuff.
Lately dirks been spending more time at my place than he has at his own hah. Were basically roomies at this point not that i mind all too much. He helps me out with a lot of the stuff i need to get done. He is one great dude.
Is anyone aware of a hangover cure that actually has any effect? Throwing a bunch of gross shit together and hoping it takes away this blasted headache isnt something i have the patience for this morning i dont think. #substances technically i guess.
Rambling aside i hope everyones having a great morning. Ive got a splitting headache and im sick to my stomach but hey! It could be worse.
I was meant to be having a good time with friends last night but i got fucking plastered and according to dirk (Because my recollection of it is nary a none. Go figure.) I was three sheets to the wind and barely able to stay awake nor form a coherent sentence. I cant help but feel a little embarrassed.. Bless him though he was nice enough to take me home and keep me company like a real good bro. Though now i have to deal with the fact that hes once again out cold in *my* bed i guess. #substances
Pit sniffing. #nsfw #yup
Ah. Hahah. Gosh yeah. Suppose i have!
I was enjoying myself! I didnt consider how sore id be after.
Im so exhausted. Cant do anything except lay here. Even then i have to lay on my stomach. Perhaps he overdid it a little. #nsfw
IT’S NEVER A CRIME TO SHOPLIFT FROM MAJOR CORPORATIONS EVERYONE KNOWS THAT
..Well weve got today dont we? Hah. Hahah.
Nobody else on here is really shy about this stuff so i suppose i shouldnt be either. Dirk made a real mess of me last night and i havent really been able to think straight all day. Hes been at my place since this morning to help me out with the stuff i cant really manage right now since im still a little wobbly and whatnot and its difficult to even *look* at him. Gosh. I dont even think i was this shy *while* he was inside me. Im not sure why the aftermath is 10x more difficult but it certainly is! Not sure what this post is meant to do for me i suppose i just wanted to get it off my chest without saying it directly to his face hahah. #nsfw
Yes!
Awh.
Ill say!
Thank you dr strider!
(°. it happens waaaaay t𖦹 𖦹ften f𖦹r me. maybe i'm just lame 𖦹r s𖦹mething. 𖦹r maybe i'm t𖦹𖦹 c𖦹𖦹l f𖦹r them t𖦹 handle. wh𖦹 kn𖦹ws .°)
Always funny when random people ive never interacted with have me blocked. Makes me wonder which post was the breaking (blocking?) point.
Good morning fellas i hope youre all feeling great today! Had to do some heavy lifting this morning. One of those big ol air conditioners for my room because its sweltering over by me. Unfortunately due to recent activities my back and legs are pretty darn sore and i had an awful friggin time setting the thing up. Dirk and i had a lovely time yesterday though. When he finished taking his little nap on *my* bed that is. Thats really all there is to report! (#suggestive due to implications i suppose!)
Any advice on how to evict a strider would be lovely. Invited dirk over to hang out but apparently he took it as "come all the way to my house and go to sleep on my bed." Ive been camping out on my floor for the better part of twenty minutes now because hes decided to take my bed hostage! Why even come over at this point? (#suggestive perhaps for certain visible markings. I dont know whats necessary!) https://i.postimg.cc/mgtBHjTH/so-lazy.png
You know you sure do have a way with words strider. Hahah. Very odd man you are.
I am a manWh(o)r3 buT Sp3cIfIcally (o)f Th3 SluT varI3Ty.
shes saying i have rough stupid oaf skin guys am i cooked
Ill say! Though i am curious as to what youve got planned because as far as im aware *im* the one hosting this little hangout. Hahah.
I will take a brief moment away form the crisis to apologize for misgendering the universe destroyer in my sudden panic.
Looking forward to it! Ive got a lot planned.
I have no culinary skills and i must eat.
I sometimes find myself wondering how people ive never met nor interacted with perceive me. Or even people ive had small passing interactions with. I cant help but wonder if theres people out there who have spoken to me once or twice and decided im annoying or mean or the like. Its an odd feeling to have ill tell you that! Social anxiety and whatnot. Some days its a bit easier to tough it out than others.
I feel a bit off my social game today. I find myself worrying and being awkward more than usual. Gosh.
#chittrconfession Sometimes I just react to see if someone has me blocked.
making breakfast for dave cause he's sleeping and hogging up my bed and pretty much preventing me from getting back to sleep. does anyone know what he'd probably like?
No no dont be sorry. Youre fine.
I should be allowed one bullet a day for people who post things that i find bothersome. Hahah. Just kidding.
i didn't plan on it! he looks peaceful. i might go make him some breakfast hehe.
Hope everyone is having a great morning except for like two of you maybe!
<3
My specialty. :)
You know what they say about early birds and whatnot hahah.
forgot dave was here. rolling over in my bed to see another human being next to me when i'm not expecting it is kinda frightening haha. almost hit him.
So, based upon recent observations, early mornings (EST) are JakeDirk hours. Noted.
chest pain is a fucking nightmare.
I really want a bagel right now! Does anyone know where a guy could get a good bagel? Im starved. :(
I am so hungry all ive really eaten today was a handful of strawberries!
Yes sir!
Well id say you do tend to be that! Ahahah.
If you wanted to get on minecraft you couldve just messaged me haha.
Stop sending me this image. #suggestive I guess. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/deedbcb0fbd9.png
https://media.tenor.com/p_VXX1WotM4AAAAC/ghost-halloween.gif
Hello everyone!
I do believe au revoir is the correct spelling isnt it? Either way...
Have a great morning fellas! Ill be on my way for the time being. Au revoir!
Working out now. Got a bit of a late start today since i was doing all that pointless dicking around this morning. Social media is a siren and i find myself answering her call more often than not. In fact im doing it again right now so off i go!! Have a productive afternoon fellas.
Breakfast has been acquired! Could use a good meal right about now heheh. :)
I see i see!
i'm still / kinda / figuring out what kind of woman / i wanna be / but / i know i wanna be a kind one
Err.. Yeah? *Tugs at the collar of my shirt.*
꒰a belly can be a " slut waist " too . if you're not a fearful little coward #nsfw꒱
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Youve got this big man. If anyone has it its totally you. I believe in you bro.
᯽ hello and greetings to everyone. heehee. ᯽
Dirks a real great chum when hes not being insufferably vague or using extremely uncomfortably phrasing to get a completely innocent point across that certainly didnt require that kind of risque phrasing. Which is to say hardly! Hahahahahah. Just kidding love that guy.
Well gosh i dont think i could ever stay mad at you my good bro. Apology accepted!
See this isnt nearly as satisfying as the real deal. Id argue this has left me even more unsatisfied. Levels of dissatisfaction that you could only really fathom if you were a closeted gay man attempting to make love to your wife so that she wouldnt speculate about your closeted gay-ness. (#nsfw) In other words *VERY* deeply unsatisfied!!!
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34E36F332E3320◥◤◥◤
h++ps://genera+ed.inspirobo+.me/a/1X6op8gaer.jpg
Id agree if you didnt strife like you were trying to murder me! You could stand to go a little easier on me since im made out of flesh and bloody and *not* metal and gosh does it hurt!!
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Sometimes hate feels a wee bit too strong and i find that the "pity" button is more on the nose about how im feeling. Im not getting all twisted up about it nor am i actually pitying you cause its honestly a bit more like disappointment or something. Your reply has thoroughly disappointed me.
diamonds droog.
There's an overflow of Jakes and Dirks this morning. Interesting.
Mmhm mhm, im listening very intently but i think ill probably just sling you over my shoulder and call it a day. By the by, how tall are you?
B33 < but my gr33n is cool right
Aw no come on dude! I was going to host a fancy funeral for you with fancy flowers and everything. Cant you bump off the other ones first?
here we have a flock of 2triider2 de2cendiing upon a wounded variiatiion of the jake human, theiir iintentiion2 unknown. np 2eem2 to be liickiing 2omethiing gro22 agaiin. that clown ii2 iin the back of every camera 2hot, for 2ome rea2on.
Hello neighbor
Local ferret actually not a ferret at all!! Insane!!!!! Mods, kill this woman. @audaciousConfident (I'm actually just gonna use this post to drop pictures of him I think LMAO art by batstrolls on tumblr and renic on bluesky)
Im choosing to agree and not reply further but i hope youre no longer facing the looming threat of vlad or whatever it was dude.
See bro i really do appreciate your company like you certainly are a real awesome dude but *gosh* do you make me uncomfortable sometimes with the things you imply.
(fun fact: the universe is a frog) Woof
2ometiime2 watchiing you all do your thiing feel2 liike watchiing a nature documentary.
We put Admin 4 in the scary facility because he likes it
Vlad does sound like a real pervert with all that impaling and fucking and whatnot. (#nsfw?) Im glad to hear your death isnt nearly as imminent anymore though im not sure how i wouldve gone on without my best pal.
Jake and I are watching birds fight again.
Where would a fella come into possession of pink camellias? In the instance where i need them pretty friggin soon because ive got to host a funeral for my dearest friend who is going to get murdered by a vampire and whatnot.
That Does Sound Very Spooky Best Of Luck
Haha yes those are very pretty! Thats a great choice bro.
But also you could do me the very friendly favor of not repeatedly bringing it up because im tired of gan of cavy a bit.
Thats oddly kind, im moved by this. Thank you dirk!
Of course dude! Ive got your back. You will be very missed when he drains all of your blood and whatnot. Ill even hold a little funeral for you and bring some flowers. That being said while youre still alive and kickin, whats your favorite kind of flower? I want the funeral to be tasteful in honor of my best bro.
Consider, he likes when you read to him and would be devastated if you stopped.
Reading aloud to dirk and every time i misspeak he has the audacity to laugh at me! In fact he is still laughing!! Ungrateful i tell you. I do not *HAVE* to read anything to him.
Frightening. *Shivers*
Lets not be rash.
You're pouting in your sleep I'm Waking, still yaWning ProVing to each other that romance is boring Sure, there are things that I could do If I Was half prepared to ProVe to each other that romance is boring #LyricPosting #NoWPlaying https://open.spotify.com/track/79jQsuUX9NAaVXKTXZ2DLJ?si=d41a14bc2a3e43f1
Whoo up poonderin they evil oorb
Ⓧ Hey baby you tryna get stockholm syndrome? #nsfwe Ⓧ
:<< <I can ressspect thisss. Enjoy your bananasss.
I await an update with bated breath.
-> You Can Pickle Anything, New Shelf Stable Versions Of All Our Produce Available = Your Total Is $46.20
IF YOU USELESS WASTES OF LIFE. LET #DIRKJAKE FLOP. AND ALLOW RANKYCHAN TO DEFEAT ME. I WILL BE BLOWING UP THE OLD FRIENDS SENIOR LUSII SANCTUARY. #NSFWE #BOMBTHREAT #BOMBPROMISE #ANIMALDEATH #ANIMALABUSE #LUSUSDEATH #LUSUSABUSE #TEAMDIRK #ATANYCOST.
Ease there, Donkey Kong
Drink some Sprite alongside them. ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)