↗️I AM ATTEMPTING TO RECRISP MY BLOOMING TEAR-JERKING BULBVEGETABLE IN THE OFFICE AIRFRIER, DESPITE CLAIMS THAT THE↗️ ↘️"scent is too odorous and consuming that we literally cannot breathe"↘️ ↗️AND THAT↗️ ↘️"i am a blight upon everyone who has ever deigned to interact with me for longer than strictly necessary"↘️ ↗️BUT IT IS NOT BECOMING RECRISP, MERELY SOGGYING UP FRUTHER.↗️ ↘️why.↘️
# I$ it a whole, unfried one? You $hould try putting it in water! Fre$hen$ it right up u$ually! #
You need to cut it in half and then flip it halfway through. This being said why are you reheating that in the office...? I simply must ask Jane to get you over here for a visit so you can eat *real* food.
↗️MISTER CALDER I KNOW YOU CANNOT SEE ME RIGHT NOW BUT I AM DOING EXACTLY THAT.↗️ ↘️i am slicing it in two and flipping it over as to not continually redampen its battered innards with my tendency to cook literally everything at 450 degrees.↘️ ↗️I WOULD LITERALLY GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ABLE TO INDULGE IN THE NUTRITIONBLOCK WITH YOU AND ALSO JANE.↗️ ↘️i am thanking that i would stand against the counter and you would approach my poor chopping form from behind↘️ ↗️(I AM DICING THE ROOT VEGETABLES FOR OUR ROAST BEAST MEAL)↗️ ↘️and you would be literally so disgusted by my trembling, unsafe prongs that you would have to steel them with your own.↘️ ↗️YOU WOULD HOLD ME STILL WHILE YOUR FRONT IS ALSO PRESSED TO MY BACK AND I WOULD OBEY AND I WOULD NOT STOP SWEATING BUT YOU DO NOT EVEN CARE ABOUT THAT AS YOU ADMONISH MY INABILITY TO PREPARE EVEN MINOR DISHES.↗️ ↘️and jane would also watch and tsk and go↘️ ↗️YOU NEED TO BE HARDER ON THE BOY.↗️ ↘️and slap my digits with the broad end of her stirring utensil.↘️ ↗️AS I JOLT AND STUTTER YOU CHUCKLE BRISKLY INTO MY LISTENING NODE.↗️ ↘️i have never been a deeper shade of blue before.↘️ ↗️SHE IS LAUGHING AT ME AND YOU ARE JOINING HER, AND YOU ARE BOTH FORCED INTO A POSITION TO↗️ ↘️assist me in basic survival skills.↘️
...Quite. Anyway. Keep at it, Mr. Aiaray. I trust you can tame that beastly bulb.