D9es any9ne kn9w h9w t9 quickly yet pr9fessi9nally mend a h9le in a knit sweater with9ut earning the ire 9f an easily pertur6ed jade6l99d in a way where said jade6l99d will 6e n9ne the wiser that there was ever a h9le t9 6egin with if she were t9 cl9sely inspect it? Thanks in advance.
WHEN WAS THE SWEATER LAST INTACT.
A69ut an h9ur ag9. S9meh9w an unwanted h9le 9r tw9 have manifested in the sweater as if s9me9ne t9re at in a fit 9f rage after reading a piece 9f particularly inflammat9ry and dimwitted 9nline disc9urse, th9ugh 9f c9urse, I have n9 idea h9w this c9uld have happened.
I'M PITYING YOUR CHITT BECAUSE THERE IS NO HAA HAA REACT. YOUR PAST SWEATER IS ON THE HOOD OF YOUR SCUTTLEBUGGY. DON'T FUCK IT UP AGAIN. OR NEXT TIME. I WILL STAND OVER YOU. IMPERIOUSLY. WITH STERN INSTRUCTIONS ON DARNING WOVEN FABRICS. AND I WILL ONLY INTERVENE. WITH YOUR AMATEUR EFFORTS. TO BERATE YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE. I WILL CLAIM THE FAVOR I AM OWED IN RETURN. WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
Thank y9u. I think. It d9esn't s9lve the pr96lem 9f the current iterati9n 9f my sweater 6eing mysteri9usly damaged f9r reas9ns that certainly weren't my fault, 6ut perhaps I'll just hide it and wear the past 9ne, and she'll 6e n9ne the wiser. H9wever, 9f c9urse, I have t9 questi9n when and fr9m where y9u were a6le t9 attain this sweater. Please tell me y9u didn't have t9 6reak int9 my hive t9 retrieve it. That's a gr9ss vi9lati9n 9f my past self's privacy. #Decepti9n #F9rAG99dCause
I can't d9 that, it was a gift. 6esides, n9t all 9f us have the disp9sa6le inc9me required f9r such friv9l9us purchases, and even th9se 9f us wh9 d9, ch99se t9 spend 9ur m9ney a little 6it m9re wisely.
OK. I WON'T TELL YOU THAT.