YOU KNOW... SITTING ALONE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS IN A JAIL CELL REALLY DOES GIVE A MAN TIME TO THINK... I.. I REALLY DIDNT MEAN FOR SO MUCH RUIN TO COME FROM WHAT I DID.. I KNOW ILL NEVER FULLY MAKE IT UP TO THOSE WHO I HURT BUT... I WASNT JOKING ABOUT REGRETTING MY ACTIONS.
OK IM BREAKING THIS THING DOWN AND RESPONDING AS I READ IT CAUSE THIS SEEMS TO BE GETTING OUT OF HAND AND CAUSING MY HEAD TO SPIN. I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED FOR MY BLOOD COLOR TO BE WIPED FROM EXISTENCE IN YOUR TIMELINE. I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS HATCHED WRONG NOR WHY I DONT HAVE THE ABILITIES OF MY BLOOD. YES GAMZEE IS HIS NAME. THE WARDEN HAD TO TELL ME SINCE HE CAME TO VISIT ME. I DONT KNOW HOW HE FOUND OUT ABOUT ME OR WHY HE STARTED VISITING ME IN ALL HONESTY BUT.. HES REALLY NICE AND DOESN'T TREAT ME LIKE A MURDERER. I GUESS I WOULD HAVE TO SAY HES PROBABLY THE CLOSEST I HAVE TO A MOIRAIL THOUGH I WOULDNT EVEN LUMP HIM IN THERE EITHER DUE TO WHAT I AM AND NOT WANTING TO LUMP HIM IN WITH MY STUPID SHIT. YES I AM HAPPY THAT AT LEAST ONE OF US FUCK UPS CAN HAVE A CHANCE AT HAPPINESS. AND I DONT KNOW FOR SURE. HE COULD BE DOING SO FOR ALL OF THE STUPID ASSHOLES IN HERE. ALL I KNOW IS HE VISITS OFTEN AND SOMEHOW HE DOES A GREAT JOB OF KEEPING ME FROM DOING ANYTHING STUPID.. I DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES HES MADE ME LAUGH OR SMILE AT SOMETHING HE DID.. WISH WE HAD MET BEFORE ALL THIS.
hMmMmM CoUlD Go aSkIn oUr h.i.c i tHiNk sHe's oN HeRe oR A FeW Or tHeM. wOuLdN'T ReCoMmEnD It, EvEn i dOn't fUcK WiTh tHe h.b.i.c I Do fEeL LiKe i'vE SeEn tHiS CoLoR, fEeLs fAmIlIaR BuT My pAn's bEeN CoOkEd bRoThEr )O: GrEaT HoNkInG JoKe tHaT Is mOtHeRfUcKiNg eXiStEnCe i gUeSs. We fInD A WaY MaN, gOt lIkE ThIs pUlL On uS. cOmE On mAn jUsT AsK, sUrE He'd lIkE To bE YoUr rAiL. mIgHt eVeN FuCkInG BrEaK YoU OuT If yOu aSkEd. I'D Do aNyThInG FoR My kK, fOr aNy kK ReAlLy. (o: I LiKe hEaRiNg tHaT MaN, gOt mY PuShEr aLl sOfT OnE Of mE'S StIlL GeTs yOu lAuGhInG.
WHAT EXACTLY HAVE YOU DONE TO COOK YOUR PAN MAKARA? YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN. I WOULDNT. I WONT. I DONT WANT HIM TO ACTUALLY BREAK ME OUT. IF HE DID HE MIGHT EVEN END UP IN HERE WITH ME. I WOULD NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN IF THAT WERE THE CASE.. OH COURSE HE DOES. HES A MIME. THEIR WHOLE TROUPE HAVE TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE BUT EVEN WITHOUT HIS VOICE HE COULD MAKE ANYONE SMILE. I HOPE WHEN IM GONE THAT HE MAKES MANY OTHERS HAPPY AFTER ME. . .
lIkE A WhOlE LiSt mAn? SoPoR MoThErFuCkIn sLiMe, GoIn cOlD TuRkEy oN ThAt. CrAcKiNg uP FiNdInG My mOsT SaCrEd tExT WeRe jUsT A FaKe aSs jOkE. nOt eVeN A FuNnY OnE BrOtHeR. kIlLiNg a fEw rIgHtEoUs bRoS. lIsTeNiNg tO A SwEeT TaLkIn' PuPpEt. MoSt oF ThAt sHiT WaS LiKe iN A DaY. uUuUuUh gEtTiNg cUt iN HaLf aLl tHe wAy uP LiKe fUcKiNg hOtDoG StYlE. pRoBaBlY StUfF BeFoRe tHaT ToO BuT ThE PuPpEt yA SeE. )o: Aw bRo aNd yOu'rE WaY ChIlL, dOn't wAnT YoU RoTtIn aWaY In tHeRe mAn. mMm, DoN'T ThInK ThAt wAs a tHiNg iS ThE DaRk cArNiVaL, bEiN Up uNdEr tHe bIg tOp sEeM LiKe a fUcKiNg lIfE TiMe aGo mAn. WhY ThEy gOtTa bE SiLeNt tO Do aLl tHiS MiRtH SpReAdInG? )O: cOmE On mAn yA'Ll gOt pLeNtY Of sWeEpS ToGeThEr tO CoMe.
... WOW THATS.. THATS A LOT OF STUFF. ILL GIVE THAT TO YOU. YOU ALTERNIAN COUNTERPARTS ARE KIND OF STRANGE. NOT IN A BAD WAY JUST.. DIFFERENT. NO WE DONT HAVE THAT MUCH LONGER. I KNOW WE DONT. DONT ASK ME HOW. I KNOW IVE LIVED LONGER THAN WHAT WAS INTENDED FOR ME BUT FOR SOME REASON HERE I AM. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE FOR ALL OF EXISTENCE. I WANT OUT BUT.. I DONT BELONG OUT THERE. IM A FREAK OF NATURE. SOME SICK JOKE PLAYED ON OUR UNIVERSE. IM MESSED UP AND BROKEN. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. THE FACT I MADE IT TO ADULTHOOD IS IN ITSELF A.. MIRACLE. I WISH THERE WAS MORE MIRTH FOR ME. I WISH A LOT OF THINGS BUT MY REALITY IS MORE BLEAK THAN THAT. IF I COULD REDO THIS LIFE I WOULD... I WOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST. TRULY LET OTHERS KNOW MY FEELINGS. SPEAK OF WHAT WAS WRONG INSTEAD OF BURYING MY HEAD IN SHAME... I WOULD DO EVERYTHING FOR THOSE WHO I CONSIDERED FRIENDS. I WOULD PROTECT WHAT MATTERED MOST.. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK IF I COULD RE DO EVERYTHING I WOULD LEARN TO BE A LEADER. HAVE A MOIRAIL LIKE YOU.. MAYBE FIND CONNECTIONS, BONDS I COULD REALLY HOLD ON TO.. AND I WOULD HOPE I WOULD NEVER LET GO. I HOPE I WOULD LEARN TO FORGIVE THOSE AROUND ME AND EVENTUALLY MYSELF.. I WOULDNT PLAY BEING SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE.. ID JUST BE ME.. JUST KARKAT.
yEaH, jUsT MoSt oF ThE StUfF I ReMeMbEr. YeAh yA'Ll aReN'T ThAt bAd. HeArD YoU WeRe rEaLlY StUcK Up bUt i lIkE YoU MaN. i lIkE YoU A LoT. )o: MaN, bUmMiNg mE OuT TaLkIn lIkE ThIs. AlL ThAt sHiT SoUnDs lIkE ThE Kk i kNoW. hE'S LiL BuT He yAp's sO MuCh. ReAl hOnEsT AnD GoT HiS WhOlE PuMp bIsCuIt iN EvErYtHiNg. ThAt's wHy i lIkE ThE GuY So mUcH. hE CaReS AnD I AlWaYs wOnDeReD WhErE A MoThErFuCkEr gOt aLl tHaT FrOm. ThErE'S ThIs wElL In yOu vAnTaS. dUnNo wHy iT'S ThErE Or hOw iT WeNt aNd gOt iNsIdE Ya'lL BuT MaN It's rEaLlY FuCkInG SoMeThInG. gUeSs tHaT'S WhErE YeR FiRe wEnT? i sEeN It mAn, AiN'T NoThInG ElSe lIkE It. AlL ThAt wIsHiN AnD HoPiN YeR DoInG BrO ... ShIt cOmEs tRuE. nOt aLl oF It, SoMe sHiT'S OuTtA MoThErFuCkErS CoNtRoL BuT YeAh a lOt oF It dOeS. DuNnO If kNoWiNg tHaT MaKeS It eAsIeR, i hOpE It dOeS BrOtHeR. cAn't gO ChEcKiNg oUt tOo mOtHeRfUcKiNg sOoN EvEn iF It hUrTs
IM STUCK UP? I DONT SEE THAT BUT OF COURSE OTHERS WILL HAVE THEIR VIEWS I SUPPOSE. I MAY NOT BE THE BEST OF PEOPLE BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT I WAS BEING THAT HARSH.. SO.. YOUR KARKAT IS WHAT I WISHED FOR? THEN I GUESS ITS NOT ALL FOR NOT.. SORRY IF IM BUMING YOU OUT JUST. I HAVE A LOT THIS CONVERSATION IS MAKING CLEAR TO ME. NO. I CANT LEAVE YET.. I HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE FIRST. THERE'S A TROLL FROM YOUR WORLD WHOS COMING TO VISIT ME. I HAVE THE DECENCY TO AT LEAST BE HERE FOR MEET HIM AND I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MY GAMZEE ONE LAST TIME BUT I KNOW ITS COMING. THANK YOU MAKARA. FOR THIS CONVERSATION. FOR EVERYTHING. YOU'VE BROUGHT ME A LITTLE HOPE EVEN IF IT IS FLEETING. I HOPE YOUR KARKAT NEVER LETS GO.
// wish i could edit this to add the hashtags! #talkofdeath #twpossibleplanning
gUeSs iT WaS A CaTcH AlL BoUt yA'Ll fRoM ThAt tImElInE? I GuEsS? nO WaY Of kNoWiN FoR SuRe bUt i'd lIkE To tHiNk sO? sAmE NaMe aNd wHaT NoT. )O: iM GlAd tO HeLp bUt mAn i dOn't rEaLlY LiKe wHeRe tHiS Is gOiNg ... eVeN ThO I CaN'T StOp yOu )O: ... YeAh mAn, GlAd i cOuLd lIkE HeLp. BuT PlEaSe aT LeAsT AsK ThAt mE? eVeN If iT'S SeLfIsH. fEeL LiKe i gOtTa aT LeAsT TrY. #tWpOsSiBlEpLaNnInG #tAlKoFdEaTh // AdDeD JuSt iN CaSe
THANK YOU. BUT I WONT. I KNOW YOUR PROBABLY RIGHT. THAT HE WOULD BE SO SWEET AND KIND AND SAY YES BUT.. IVE HURT ENOUGH OF THOSE WHO I CONSIDERED TO BE CLOSE WITH. I WONT BE WHAT BRINGS HIM DOWN TOO. HEH MAYBE THIS IS ALL IT TOOK FOR ME TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING. ITS WHAT YOU THINK. IVE MADE UP MY MIND. AT LEAST IT MEANS I WONT BE ABLE TO DO MORE DAMAGE. #TWPLANNINGDEATH #TALKOFDEATH #TWSELFHARM ? //I DONT KNOW WHAT OTHER HASHTAGS TO PUT HERE. IF THERES MORE I SHOULD LET ME KNOW I REALLY DONT WANT TO ACTUALLY TRIGGER PEOPLE.