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PESTER JESTER

1 day ago

@patchworkPuppetry[PP]

dInG 🔔 dInG 🔔 dInG~!

Dove

2 days ago

@turntitGodhead[TG]

the fact that nemos dads name is marlin is fucked up, thats a whole different kind of fish thats like if you had child and named it gorilla

dave.

2 days ago

Dave Hour

go my davelings.

@techhDogg[TD]

fun game where you spell your favorite word backwards nevesxis

CG

4 days ago

@carcinizationGenesis[CG]

OK CHITTR. I’VE GOT A JOKE FOR YOU. A TROLL IS DRIVING DOWN AN EMPTY HIGHWAY IN A SCUTTLEBUGGY, ON HIS WAY BACK HIVE AFTER A ROAD TRIP. HIS ENGINE STALLS AND SPUTTERS OUT RANDOMLY, LEAVING HIM STRANDED ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. HE CHECKS HIS PALMHUSK, AND REALIZES IT ISN’T CHARGED. BUMMER. SO HE LOOKS AROUND, AND NOTICES A MONASTERY IN THE DISTANCE. AS IT’S THE ONLY BUILDING NEARBY, HE DECIDES TO CHANCE IT AND GOES UP TO IT, DESPITE THE RISKS, AND KNOCKS ON THE DOOR, GREETED BY AN OLD MONK. “HOW CAN I HELP YOU, STRANGER?” THE MONK ASKS. “MY CAR BROKE DOWN AND MY PALMHUSK IS DEAD, I NEED SOME HELP” THE TROLL REQUESTS. THE MONKS GRACIOUSLY OFFER TO LET HIM STAY THE LIGHT, THEY FEED HIM DINNER, AND EVEN FIX HIS CAR SO HE CAN LEAVE ONCE THE SUN GOES BACK DOWN. AS THE TROLL TRIES TO FALL ASLEEP, BELLY FULL, FEELING SECURE WHERE HE IS, HE HEARS A STRANGE SCRATCHING SOUND THAT IS SEEMINGLY COMING FROM A FLOOR BELOW HIM. HE WANDERS THE MONASTERY, AND IS SOON STOPPED BY ONE OF THE MONKS, WHO QUESTIONS WHY HE’S AWAKE. “I CAN’T SLEEP,” HE SAYS, “THERE’S A STRANGE SOUND. WHAT IS IT?” “I CAN’T TELL YOU,” REPLIES THE MONK. “WHY NOT?” “I CAN’T TELL YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A MONK.” THE TROLL IS CONFUSED, BUT IS EVENTUALLY ABLE TO GO BACK TO CUPE AND GET SOME SLEEP. WHEN HE WAKES UP AND IS PREPARING TO LEAVE, HE HEARS THAT SOUND AGAIN. HE WANDERS UNTIL HE FINDS A STAIRCASE LEADING DOWN TO THE LOWER LEVEL, A BASEMENT OF SORTS, AND MULLS OVER WHETHER TO INVESTIGATE. HOWEVER, HE GETS STOPPED BY ANOTHER MONK. “MONK, WHAT’S DOWN THERE?” THE TROLL ASKS. “DOWN THERE? OH, I CAN’T TELL YOU,” SAYS THE MONK, SHAKING HIS HEAD. “AFTER ALL, YOU’RE NOT A MONK.” “CAN I AT LEAST GO DOWN TO SEE IT?” HE PLEADS. “I’M AFRAID NOT. ONLY MONKS CAN GO DOWN THERE. YOU SEE, THERE IS A DOOR DOWN THERE THAT CAN ONLY BE OPENED WITH A WOODEN KEY. ONLY A MONK WHO HAS CLIMBED THE GREAT TREE IN THE CENTER OF THE NEARBY FOREST GETS TO HAVE THE WOODEN KEY.” “SO IF I BECOME A MONK AND CLIMB THAT TREE, I CAN GET THE WOODEN KEY?” THE TROLL INQUIRES CURIOUSLY. “INDEED,” SAYS THE MONK. THE TROLL PONDERS THIS FOR A WHILE, BUT DECIDES THAT NOISE ISN’T WORTH BECOMING A MONK FOR, SO HE BIDS THE MONASTERY AND THE MONKS GOODBYE, AND DRIVES OFF. HOWEVER, AS THE NIGHTS GO BY, HE FINDS IT HARDER AND HARDER TO PUT THE SOUND OUT OF HIS MIND. WHAT WAS IN THE BASEMENT, BEYOND THE WOODEN DOOR, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MAKING THAT SOUND? WHY DID THE MONKS HAVE TO GUARD THE SECRET SO CAREFULLY? IT WAS EATING HIM ALIVE. THE TROLL RETURNS TO THE MONASTERY ONLY A WEEK LATER. “OKAY,” HE SAYS, “I’M READY TO BECOME A MONK AND CLIMB THAT TREE.” SO, THE MONKS LEAD HIM OUT TO THE FOREST AND SHOW HIM THE GREAT TREE. AT THE TOP OF THE TREE IS A BELL. THEY TELL HIM TO RING THE BELL THREE TIMES ONCE HE GETS TO THE TOP, AND THEY WILL GIVE HIM THE WOODEN KEY. IT TAKES A FEW HOURS OF ATTEMPTS, AND BY THE END OF IT, THE TROLL IS EXHAUSTED, BUT HE DOES MANAGE TO SCALE THE LARGE TREE, AND RING THE BELL THREE TIMES. HE RETURNS TO THE MONASTERY AND THE MONKS GIVE HIM THE WOODEN KEY. THE TROLL MAKES HIS WAY TO THE STAIRCASE. HE DESCENDS SLOWLY, AND COMES TO A WOODEN DOOR. THE TROLL TAKES THE WOODEN KEY AND PUTS IT IN THE LOCK, AND SLOWLY TURNS IT. THE DOOR UNLOCKS WITH A CLICK, AND HE PUSHES IT OPEN. THE MAN WALKS IN AND EVENTUALLY COMES TO A STONE DOOR. HE TRIES TO OPEN IT, BUT IT’S LOCKED. THE MAN GOES BACK OUT THE WOODEN DOOR, AND UP THE STAIRS, AND TO THE OTHER MONKS. “I WENT THROUGH THE WOODEN DOOR, BUT THERE’S A STONE DOOR IN MY WAY. HOW DO I GET THE STONE KEY?” THE TROLL ASKS. “YOU HAVE TO PICK UP A THOUSAND STONES AND ARRANGE THEM IN A CIRCLE,” THE MONKS REPLY. THE TROLL NODS AND GOES TO COMPLETE THE TEDIOUS TASK OF FINDING AND ARRANGING A THOUSAND STONES. IT TAKES A FEW HOURS, BUT ONCE HE FINISHES, HE’S ABLE TO RETURN TO THE MONKS AND RETRIEVE THE STONE KEY. WITH THE STONE KEY IN-HAND, HE DESCENDS THE STAIRS, GOES THROUGH THE WOODEN DOOR, AND APPROACHES THE STONE DOOR. HE UNLOCKS IT, AND WALKS THROUGH, EVENTUALLY COMING TO A EMERALD DOOR. THE TROLL KNOWS THE DRILL AT THIS POINT, AND GOES BACK UP TO ASK THE MONKS ABOUT THE EMERALD KEY. “TO OBTAIN THE EMERALD KEY, YOU MUST GO INTO THE FOREST AND MEDITATE UNTIL YOU CAN CONVENE WITH NATURE. ONCE YOU CAN SPEAK WITH THE PLANTS, RETURN TO US, AND WE WILL GIVE YOU THE EMERALD KEY.” IT’S A STRANGE REQUEST, BUT THE TROLL OBLIGES AND GOES INTO THE FOREST TO SIT AND MEDITATE. HE STAYS THERE FOR DAYS, WEEKS, AND THEN EVENTUALLY, MONTHS, BEFORE HE FINALLY STARTS TO HEAR THE PLANTS WHISPERING TO HIM, TELLING HIM THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST. HE THANKS THE PLANTS FOR TALKING TO HIM, AND RETURNS TO THE MONASTERY, TELLING THE MONKS HE SPOKE WITH THE PLANTS. THEY NODDED AND GAVE HIM THE EMERALD KEY. THE TROLL DESCENDED THE STAIRS, WENT THROUGH THE WOODEN DOOR, WENT THROUGH THE STONE DOOR, AND CAME TO THE EMERALD DOOR AGAIN. HE UNLOCKED IT, WENT THROUGH, AND SAW THE SAPPHIRE DOOR. HE RETURNED TO THE MONKS TO ASK ABOUT THE SAPPHIRE KEY. “TO OBTAIN THE SAPPHIRE KEY, YOU MUST GO TO THE SHORE AND MEDITATE BY THE OCEAN UNTIL YOU CAN CONVENE WITH THE WAVES AND THE CREATURES UNDER THE SEA. RETURN TO US ONCE YOU HAVE DONE THAT, AND WE WILL GIVE YOU THE SAPPHIRE KEY.” THE TROLL, MORE EXPERIENCED FROM THE LAST CHALLENGE, SIMPLY NODS AND TAKES TO THE SHORE. HE SAT AND MEDITATED ONCE AGAIN, UNTIL HE CONNECTED WITH THE WAVES AND COULD HEAR THE SEA CREATURES WHISPERING AND TELLING HIM THE SECRETS OF THE OCEAN. HE THANKS THE SEA CREATURES FOR TALKING OT HIM, AND RETURNS TO THE MONASTERY, TELLING THE MONKS HE SPOKE WITH THE WAVES AND THE SEA CREATURES. THEY NODDED AND GAVE HIM THE SAPPHIRE KEY. THE TROLL DESCENDED THE STAIRS, WENT THROUGH THE WOODEN DOOR, THE STONE DOOR, THE EMERALD DOOR, AND THE SAPPHIRE DOOR… AND CAME UP ON A RUBY DOOR. BY THIS POINT, THE TROLL WAS A LITTLE FRUSTRATED. HE WENT BACK UP TO THE MONKS, AND WAS ABOUT TO YELL ABOUT THE RUBY KEY, BUT HE STOPPED. HE REMEMBERED CLIMBING THE TREE, HE REMEMBERED COLLECTING THE STONES, AND HE REMEMBERED ALL THE TIME HE SPENT MEDITATING, AND REALIZED THAT THROUGH HIS QUESTING, HE FOUND SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHATEVER WAS IN THE BASEMENT. HE FOUND PEACE. THE TROLL TOLD THE MONKS THAT HE CAME UPON THE RUBY DOOR, BUT THAT HE’S DECIDED HE DOESN’T NEED THE RUBY KEY. THE MONKS NODDED, AND TOLD HIM THAT MEANS HE’S WORTHY OF IT. THEY HANDED HIM THE KEY, AND TOLD HIM HE CAN SEE WHAT’S BEHIND THE FINAL DOOR WHENEVER HE’S READY. HE POCKETED THE KEY, AND DECIDED TO GO TO CUPE. HE HAD MONK DUTIES TOMORROW, AFTER ALL. HOWEVER, THAT LIGHT, AS HE SLEPT, HE HEARD THAT SCRATCHING SOUND AGAIN. THE TROLL WOKE UP, GOT OUT OF CUPE, AND MADE HIS WAY TO THE STAIRS. HE HESITATED, GRIPPING THE RUBY KEY… AND EVENTUALLY MADE HIS WAY DOWN THE STAIRS, THROUGH THE WOODEN DOOR, THROUGH THE STONE DOOR, THROUGH THE EMERALD DOOR, THROUGH THE SAPPHIRE DOOR… AND STOPPED IN FRONT OF THE RUBY DOOR. HE UNLOCKED IT, AND FINALLY SAW THE INCREDIBLE SECRET THAT WAS HIDING IN THE BASEMENT, PAST THE RUBY DOOR. WHAT WAS IT? OH. WELL. I CAN’T TELL YOU. YOU’RE NOT A MONK.