@traumaticTherapist — #cw-mentalhealth
The others don't really like to be by themselves with me. I feel a sense of pity they have now. I do regret making a displeased face when Dave said that I'm awful at hugs. I left the room swiftly and now, I don't think they appreciated that. They don't often touch me now as one of their friends.
Sometimes I let go of myself in the moment of group conversation. What if I was John? the way he smiles and laughs from his chest looks nice to experience, a genuine joy. What if I was Jade? Proud to show her grin? Unafraid of herself. I could be Dave, carrying a sense of noble hope and faith towards others. Sometimes, I get happy when I'm not in my life. Even for a few minutes. Sometimes, I wish I could leave myself at the table when it's time to leave the room.