..my dridmd is hoping joking about the collar.. i dont wanna go home. Death is the only thing there besides mt mom and so i go home to see my mom and make sure shes okay but we dont stay there that long a lot if we are hangingout so it makes the feeling of death feel less suffoacting then than being there mostly alone and i cant stay at other places as the space makes me feel scared.. so.. she can be mean but she is nice and i know she finds my feelings of negavity bad and annoying but she lets me lay on her chest and sleep so i dont think she'll be thay mean and mahbe itll be fine im only focused on it as she said it yesterday and she was laubjinf but she definty meant thay as a joke ihope one time i made her wear one of those meowbeast bells as she meant scaring me when we first met and she holds grudges so maybe it isnt a joke or it is or it isnt or it is #death #rambling