@anxiousTautology — #cw-self-harm
.i'm sorry but .i can't help myself. .i have so many thoughts .in my head .and .i hate .all .of them. .i hate them. really, really bad. .i'm just crying because .i can't get .out .of my thinkpan. .i won't tell which .are because they .are that horrific, but .i'm trying to think better .of them. hard. .i'm so tired. .i want to talk .a lot, talk to someone. but .at the same time .i'm scared that .i will say something bad, that .i'll hurt them. .am .i that bad .as .a whole? .or my fate .is set .and .i have to suffer .it? .i .am so, so sorry... .i... .i want .a hug .or someone to cuddle me... .i .am so...Read more
mental .and health check. .i'm perfection. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
despite #sorrowsaturday... perhaps you should need to stay strong. keep going. .until you feel the pain. like .i do. .until .arms will bleed .endlessly. making body less harder. .as bones .in legs start to crush from pressure. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
.i .actually won't need to worry .at .all for my life .or .if .i'll be culled. because .i'm .immortal... how do .i die then? this .is .uhhh... sorry... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
wait... .i'm .immortal. why should .i .even care .if .i'll get hit by .a scuttlebuggy. #cw-self-harm
.i'd hit .a road... with my head... but .i must go. move forward. move .on. never forget. friends .are bad. .uhhh... crap! .i .almost got hit by .a scuttlebuggy. that was .a close .one. silly me. #cw-self-harm
.i tried before, to rip those wings yet .again. .it, did turn .ugly. .only for my .emotions. they felt light, they .are quite transparent .and jaded... just like my blood .and my caste... .and yet they're stitched .impossibly hard .into my back. like wires to my nerves. puppeteer .in play that's for sure. .i then cried later. sorry... .i'm so sorry. #cw-self-harm
nibbling .on my .own finger... #cw-self-harm #but-not-too-much-just-.a-bit
for sure, .i'm mentally disabled .one. .one with brain .issues. .i still scratch myself from my .anxiety! cool right? right? no! .it's very not... sorry... .i should stay .at the line. .as .always. be polite .as .always. maybe .i'll my job back .at least, .i guess. .or maybe something .else. #cw-mental-health #cw-self-harm
health state... .or check? .uhhh... nominal. no scratches since yesterday. .except .eyes got burned .a little, but .i see very good. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
.i can't sleep now! why did .i do this? what .is wrong with me? ".ah yes, go .and look .at the sun! what .a great .idea!" fuck! .i'm so stupid. stupid, stupid, dumb, .idiot, buffoon! #cw-self-harm
staring .at the sun... #cw-self-harm
.oh, .in .a little while from now .if .i'm not feeling .any less sour .i promised myself to treat myself .and visit .a nearby tower .and climbing to the top will throw myself .off .in .an .effort to make .it clear to who-.ever what .it's like when you're shattered #lyricposting #lyricsposting #cw-self-harm
to paint my new shirt .i had to spill my .own blood. .it got nasty .a little, but .only .a little. .at least .i got my new shirt... .i still don't .understand the meaning behind my sign, but .it's .a sign .i was rewarded with. big letter .u, with tail. my .own sign. #cw-self-harm #gore
health check. sadly, .i scratched my .arms previous night .after my .anxiety .and frustration kicked .in. .i still remember this moment. .i managed to quickly stop .it, disinfect .it .and put bandages .over. .it's still happens despite the help .i got. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
.if people don't want me to die then so be .it. .i don't think .i .even can now. but .it's boring. .it's meaningless. .it doesn't make .any sense. .asking people why should .i keep living... .i greeted with no .answer. here. .a stupid poll. .if you think .i need to cease to .exist then leave .any stupid reaction. .even pity counts. .if you think .i'm worth "living" then go .on, comment .on why. push this .idiotic .answer forward .and .explain. .i'm done. #cw-mental-health #cw-self-harm
.i want to die, but .i have no strength. you may call me, .a potato. because .i .am nothing but .an .object. #cw-self-harm
should .i die? #cw-self-harm
.i'm sorry. .i can't bring myself to cull myself. #cw-self-harm
congratulations .i'm back. .i'll cull myself tonight. #cw-self-harm
(( Another... semi-canon bullshit??? well it's canon, but not yet. https://hive.beebbeebboob.ru/posts/IMG_104N.png #cw-self-harm but no actual doings of it ))
(( RANDOM NON-CANON BULLSHIT GO https://hive.beebbeebboob.ru/posts/IMG_103N.png #nsfw and signs of #cw-self-harm due to char's arc. Overall it's total NSFW with no extreme ))
.i woke .up... .uhhh .i feel hungry. .i haven't been .eating .or drinking .in .awhile. .i'm lost like. too tired sorry... .i want to .end this... .i'm starting to hear whispers .in this place. goodlight chittr, .i may go .insane, .i guess #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-heatlh
.i .am having .awful, .awful thoughts. .i think, .i .am losing grip .on reality. sorry, but .i'm .out .of supplies .and .i'm bad .at this. .i still don't .understand .on how to make new .items, .at least basics. .i haven't slept that long .amount before, .i guess. but .i don't see .any places .other see. .uhhh... sorry to .everyone. .i'm .useless... seems .i met my .own .ending here. .i... .i don't .even know what to do now. .i had .at least my job .and some tries .in new hobbies. but now .i don't have .anything. shooting .is fun, but my .arm feel sore .on .every shot. people think shooting for prolong t...Read more
stick myself full .of pushpins .i can feel my .ego deflating .i'm so bad .at first .impressions .i warm .up like leftover cat food .if .i .end .up back .at square .one .i've got .a date with my toaster .in the bathtub .i'm flying way too close to the sun .i burn .up, burn .out .all .at .once #lyricposting #lyricsposting #cw-self-harm
>>| let's call .a vote then. should .i die? pity for no, mediate for yes. #death #cw-death .it .is not #cw-self-harm
>>| you know what. fine! screw this. .i scratched my .arms .all week while .i've been .absent from chittr. not .even beverage helped me. .and .i'm still going through .it. for now .i'm somewhat "stable". .all because .of this stupid game .and this stupid fate. .one night .i was living .a peaceful night .on .alternia, but .another .i'm who knows there .on some stupid planet with .unimaginable crap .and stuff. @hushedcardiomyopathy shut .up for .once. .i .am not pathetic. you're the .one who .is pathetic. you still can't get simple facts .into your .own mind, going .all cute .and still kneeling to people...Read more
>>| she doesn't learn... what .a sad display. #directposting .edit: #cw-self-harm she can't get .over this crap.
>>| well. .i may just write farewell letter .or something. .or how like how .it goes? crap... sorry. .i may just shut .up sorry .uhhh... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .i wonder .if .i .eligible for disability pride badge? like with mental .issue stuff .and weak .arms, .i guess? #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| redacted. sorry. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| self harm free .a week now! that's nice. stayed healthy, no .anxiety .and no stress. .i'm .actually happy that finally, no bad stuff happened this week. .i wish the best for my friends. stay safe! #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health but .it didn't happened.
>>| .i .am not pathetic! this .is my mental health .issue you bulgesucker talk blaster twerp! #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health #vagueposting
>>| .alright .uhhh. need to get myself .up. .i may go, take some shots .and drinks. some beverage. clean my head .and have some fun .in the .event. so for now. .i hope. really hope. no more friends .of mine, getting .into bad situation. not to mention, the worst .imaginable. .i don't want to go .over this .again. .i can't handle .all .anxiety .and stress .and .other nasty .emotions. .i mean .it. #substance .implied #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .alright. .uhhh sorry. .i'm good now. .i'm thankful to zemich for the help. sorry .if .i kept some people worry. .it's just.. .i'm just good now that .is .all. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health @normaleveryday
>>| .i'll be good. sorry. help .on way #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry .i may passt .out no.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry... .i.. .i'm good, just time... just pain to .ease my feelings... sorry... but she .is fine? .i saw her .earlier... .i .am sorry.. https://hive.beeb.trl/posts/img_083.png #gore #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| . .. sorrry. .i.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry.. give me some time please.. .i'm sory this .isjust too much.. no.. .i.... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .i... .i'm sorry. .i... this .is just... fucked .up. .i so. .i .am so sorry.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| self harm free for .a week. that's nice, but .i have better score.. .i wonder. no .implications .of #cw-self-harm
(( Doing this OOC shit, just in case people get worried about Possy go haywire. And also OOC-IC line smearing (I supar-rarely do OOC, cause breaks RP) But yeahh he is dumb in head, but it's just characters and Posnah needs some suffering(me: holding gun to his head). No regrets btw. It's about #cw-self-harm and #cw-mental-health. Has been there forevar ))
>>| redacted. .i'm sorry, .i was just .overthinking. .it's gone, the stupid words .are gone. don't worry. sorry. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health #cw-suicide #suicide
>>| just. slowly bleeding .out. sorry.. keep going. .i'm sorry, .i'm just feeling tired. .uhhh. taking .a nap here, sounds .if rain .is nice. sorry.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health #gore
>>| .uhhh. sorry. .i need some time. .i may chitt later .if my thoughts will settle down. .i'm just happy .at least that my shift .ended. .and .uhhh. sorry. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .i want to chitt something, but .i don't have .anything .at .all. not .even .any news. .everything's bad. could cull myself right .on the spot. life can be boring. #suicide #cw-suicide #cw-self-harm #suicide-thoughts
>>| look. for the last few hours, .i had .a lot .of stuff that .i tried to .ignore. .i will not go .into details, but .i here .is .a hint. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health .i'm doing this chitt to say .i'm going to take .a rest, for reasons. second .of .all, @packagehandler. curree please. get yourself together. .and hope that gloom .is .all safe .and .intact. .i hope! .it's hard .and .i know this feeling. but don't go the route .i did. she did. .or .if .after my sleep you will still be .in this state, .i will find you .and shoosh you. cookie with .a tea for you.
>>| finished treating my .arms with bandages. got .into big mess. .i'm good. .uhhh. #gore #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry, but .i'm passing .out for now.. nice to know curree .is goood.... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health