@anxiousTautology — #cw-mental-health
speaking .of mind .exploding. my .own mind .is .almost fully healed. well .uhhh... not fully, but .i had those bad .anxiety .episodes much less .in past nights. .actually, .it was weeks .already. .arms .are .untouched for weeks. so yes, .i'm happy with myself .and how .i'm doing. .i wish .everyone to stay safe, please. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
.i'm sorry but .i can't help myself. .i have so many thoughts .in my head .and .i hate .all .of them. .i hate them. really, really bad. .i'm just crying because .i can't get .out .of my thinkpan. .i won't tell which .are because they .are that horrific, but .i'm trying to think better .of them. hard. .i'm so tired. .i want to talk .a lot, talk to someone. but .at the same time .i'm scared that .i will say something bad, that .i'll hurt them. .am .i that bad .as .a whole? .or my fate .is set .and .i have to suffer .it? .i .am so, so sorry... .i... .i want .a hug .or someone to cuddle me... .i .am so...Read more
mental .and health check. .i'm perfection. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
... .i think .i'll just go .and... rehabilitate... #cw-mental-health
.i'm sorry .if .i don't .understand jokes... .i was feeling tired .and... depressed?.. .i don't like this word, but .i feel this .is most ".accurate" to my current state. now .i'm .a bit lost... but .i think .i see the light... sigh... #cw-mental-health
despite #sorrowsaturday... perhaps you should need to stay strong. keep going. .until you feel the pain. like .i do. .until .arms will bleed .endlessly. making body less harder. .as bones .in legs start to crush from pressure. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
.i .actually won't need to worry .at .all for my life .or .if .i'll be culled. because .i'm .immortal... how do .i die then? this .is .uhhh... sorry... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
.i love life ... no .i'm not. .i'm currently crying because .of you... .i'm sorry... #cw-mental-health
then the question .is, who .isn't crazy? who .isn't weird? .us? humans? .omnipotent beasts? who? no .one! .everyone .is .unique .in their .own style! calling someone crazy should be .a slur. to which .i'm sorry to those who .i called them. .it was rude from my side. .i deeply .apologise. #cw-mental-health
for sure, .i'm mentally disabled .one. .one with brain .issues. .i still scratch myself from my .anxiety! cool right? right? no! .it's very not... sorry... .i should stay .at the line. .as .always. be polite .as .always. maybe .i'll my job back .at least, .i guess. .or maybe something .else. #cw-mental-health #cw-self-harm
... maybe .i .am crazy? .or .i .am weird? who knows? #cw-mental-health
.i lied. let's do mental check. mental state. .i'm fine. .i'm questioning myself .about my sanity. .and .i'm fine. thank you, now go .and... .eat dirt. that's right, .i'm meanie. .and .i don't swear. but .i can! .uhhh... #cw-mental-health
mental state. ... .i'll stop this crap. .it feels pointless. sorry. #cw-mental-health
health state... .or check? .uhhh... nominal. no scratches since yesterday. .except .eyes got burned .a little, but .i see very good. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
health check .and mental check .i'll do tomorrow .early night. #cw-mental-health
mental check. ... what can .i say .uhhh... first .of .all .i'm not .insane .anymore. .i'm not crazy, despite what people like to say .into my face. mood? very far from worse. .and .it could be better. #cw-mental-health
health check. sadly, .i scratched my .arms previous night .after my .anxiety .and frustration kicked .in. .i still remember this moment. .i managed to quickly stop .it, disinfect .it .and put bandages .over. .it's still happens despite the help .i got. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
no fucking respect. .it's hard to be polite. hard to keep safe distance. .it's hard. .i didn't do .anything .at .all. no harm to .a single being. .and here .i .am, getting .almost threatened for being crazy! what .a great treatment. when someone .else .is getting saved, people cherish them. when .i'm being saved .and .even getting sent back to .alternia, .all safe .and sound, .i get "dude .are you crazy?" fuck .off. .i need to cry now. thank you. #cw-mental-health
maybe .i should .ask for .a new badge: "mnetally-.ill troll" .oh that would be cool, right? right? no. #cw-mental-health
mental check. .i'm still .insane. #cw-mental-health
.i culled my .own self. you may want too. #cw-mental-health #gore
.if people don't want me to die then so be .it. .i don't think .i .even can now. but .it's boring. .it's meaningless. .it doesn't make .any sense. .asking people why should .i keep living... .i greeted with no .answer. here. .a stupid poll. .if you think .i need to cease to .exist then leave .any stupid reaction. .even pity counts. .if you think .i'm worth "living" then go .on, comment .on why. push this .idiotic .answer forward .and .explain. .i'm done. #cw-mental-health #cw-self-harm
.i .am having .awful, .awful thoughts. .i think, .i .am losing grip .on reality. sorry, but .i'm .out .of supplies .and .i'm bad .at this. .i still don't .understand .on how to make new .items, .at least basics. .i haven't slept that long .amount before, .i guess. but .i don't see .any places .other see. .uhhh... sorry to .everyone. .i'm .useless... seems .i met my .own .ending here. .i... .i don't .even know what to do now. .i had .at least my job .and some tries .in new hobbies. but now .i don't have .anything. shooting .is fun, but my .arm feel sore .on .every shot. people think shooting for prolong t...Read more
>>| you know what. fine! screw this. .i scratched my .arms .all week while .i've been .absent from chittr. not .even beverage helped me. .and .i'm still going through .it. for now .i'm somewhat "stable". .all because .of this stupid game .and this stupid fate. .one night .i was living .a peaceful night .on .alternia, but .another .i'm who knows there .on some stupid planet with .unimaginable crap .and stuff. @hushedcardiomyopathy shut .up for .once. .i .am not pathetic. you're the .one who .is pathetic. you still can't get simple facts .into your .own mind, going .all cute .and still kneeling to people...Read more
>>| well. .i may just write farewell letter .or something. .or how like how .it goes? crap... sorry. .i may just shut .up sorry .uhhh... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .i wonder .if .i .eligible for disability pride badge? like with mental .issue stuff .and weak .arms, .i guess? #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| redacted. sorry. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| self harm free .a week now! that's nice. stayed healthy, no .anxiety .and no stress. .i'm .actually happy that finally, no bad stuff happened this week. .i wish the best for my friends. stay safe! #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health but .it didn't happened.
>>| .i .am not pathetic! this .is my mental health .issue you bulgesucker talk blaster twerp! #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health #vagueposting
>>| .alright .uhhh. need to get myself .up. .i may go, take some shots .and drinks. some beverage. clean my head .and have some fun .in the .event. so for now. .i hope. really hope. no more friends .of mine, getting .into bad situation. not to mention, the worst .imaginable. .i don't want to go .over this .again. .i can't handle .all .anxiety .and stress .and .other nasty .emotions. .i mean .it. #substance .implied #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .alright. .uhhh sorry. .i'm good now. .i'm thankful to zemich for the help. sorry .if .i kept some people worry. .it's just.. .i'm just good now that .is .all. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health @normaleveryday
>>| .i'll be good. sorry. help .on way #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry .i may passt .out no.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry... .i.. .i'm good, just time... just pain to .ease my feelings... sorry... but she .is fine? .i saw her .earlier... .i .am sorry.. https://hive.beeb.trl/posts/img_083.png #gore #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| . .. sorrry. .i.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry.. give me some time please.. .i'm sory this .isjust too much.. no.. .i.... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .i... .i'm sorry. .i... this .is just... fucked .up. .i so. .i .am so sorry.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| like, by pushing .i mean .asking how they .are doing, how .are they feeling, what .is their night was. .i'm .in fear that .at .one point they will get mad .on me for that. for such .obnoxious questions. .and from that .i start to .overthink, .i guess.. what .if they .actually waiting for my question. .and then .it goes .on .and .on. .and .i'm like. maybe .i should check .on them. but .i know they're doing .alright. but what .if not? .uhhh. sorry. .i just don't .understand the boundaries people might have. .and .it gets me worry. like. .it's fine to go .and .ask .a friend .if they .are doing .alr...Read more
(( Doing this OOC shit, just in case people get worried about Possy go haywire. And also OOC-IC line smearing (I supar-rarely do OOC, cause breaks RP) But yeahh he is dumb in head, but it's just characters and Posnah needs some suffering(me: holding gun to his head). No regrets btw. It's about #cw-self-harm and #cw-mental-health. Has been there forevar ))
>>| redacted. .i'm sorry, .i was just .overthinking. .it's gone, the stupid words .are gone. don't worry. sorry. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health #cw-suicide #suicide
>>| just. slowly bleeding .out. sorry.. keep going. .i'm sorry, .i'm just feeling tired. .uhhh. taking .a nap here, sounds .if rain .is nice. sorry.. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health #gore
>>| .uhhh. sorry. .i need some time. .i may chitt later .if my thoughts will settle down. .i'm just happy .at least that my shift .ended. .and .uhhh. sorry. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| look. for the last few hours, .i had .a lot .of stuff that .i tried to .ignore. .i will not go .into details, but .i here .is .a hint. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health .i'm doing this chitt to say .i'm going to take .a rest, for reasons. second .of .all, @packagehandler. curree please. get yourself together. .and hope that gloom .is .all safe .and .intact. .i hope! .it's hard .and .i know this feeling. but don't go the route .i did. she did. .or .if .after my sleep you will still be .in this state, .i will find you .and shoosh you. cookie with .a tea for you.
>>| finished treating my .arms with bandages. got .into big mess. .i'm good. .uhhh. #gore #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| sorry, but .i'm passing .out for now.. nice to know curree .is goood.... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| not .again... sorry... #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .i'm sorry. .uhhh. .i need to take timeout. .i'll be good. .i'm so sorry. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| "are you .a motherfucking masochist .or some shit???" no. my self harm posts mostly .is .about my mentality .issues. some people may know .it for months with my .existence .on feed. .i hurt myself .if .i get too .anxious .or too stressed, like bad .emotional meltdown. .it's .a mechanism that .i had for sweeps. .origin? .i won't reveal. that's the secret .i will take to the grave, .i guess. by the by, that .is .a good chitt to cover .up what .i have bad for you, .if you follow me .or want to be my friend .or .even .acquaintance. don't talk to me then. https://hive.beeb.trl/qna/ #gore #violence ...Read more
>>| .i may need to make .a chitt clarification .about my .issues, .if there's going to be .anyone, so pity to become my moirail. but not this night. later perhaps. #gore #violence #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health
>>| .alright then. back to bandaging. sorry. .i keep .eyes .on feed. #cw-self-harm #cw-mental-health