Gander Grimzl

1 week ago

@teleVisionary[TV]

GANDER’S GANDER INTO THE FOLKS OF CHITTR PART ⒈0 — @[HONK]istMint (UGH. AUTOCENSOR.) Mintyl Tsurga *TEN!* That’s TEN WHOLE posts a(p)out people-palavering and it hasn’t even been a WEEK yet! Someone, get me an ENERGY SLUDGE. FLAT WHITE, TWENTY SUGARS. This momentous occasion calls for a TERRIBLE PARODY. Here I go: (To the tune of Bring me to Life by Evanes Scence. The camera gradually zooms into Mintyl’s face. He’s smiling like he’s being made to.) How can you see into my bulbs Like office doors? Leading you ↓ the Skorpe System Where I’ve a corp’rate smile Working a job (oooh) Has got to be so exhausting But at least you get to ★ On, a Show Mintyl T (he’ll solve your pickles) The Lonescar (he could eat them too) MINTYL Chittr’s most agreeable admin… Injury (and yearning to boot) Hit his head (digital printfoot) TSURGA Save me from the white collar I wear… Wasn’t that so FUN? No? OK MAN, [HONK] YOU TOO. Stale news can’t get any blander, let’s Take A Gander at Mintyl Tsurga! (YAY!) Oh meez. We’ve technically got a mini TV celebrity here! AND a hard worker! We ♥ a guy who can get on that WORK AND VYEGRIND simultaneously. Two (⒉) trick hoofbeasts are better than one (⒈)! Mintyl is a face of faith in these perpetually trying times. Got an issue tugging at your legs? He gets PAID to solve it! (I HOPE!) Stop on by to watch him make #RELATABLE posts to convince you everything is A-OK! He unequivocally enjoys his job! In an open plain of stretching opportunity, he’s on a mission to be COMPETENT! Admit it, his use of emojis makes you smile. His people-ready tone is perfectly expressed through text, which should be cla-s-sed as a feat in itself. “I can make anything a little bit better if I keep ↑ a CAN-DO ATTITUDE!” is probably a motto that scoops him out the ‘c↑e better than his raw thoughts. (Yipe!) There’s no arguing with that mindset. But don’t be fooled like I was! My first cursory skim through his account had me thinking how nice he was, but as you take a closer look... oh damn, this guy can be SERIOUSLY PAS-SIVE-AGGRESSIVE. Total cognitive dissonance with the ↑beat energy and choice language! But them’s the subsequental cogs of the big workhive TIME MECHANISM, METHINKS. Perchance. I mean this with as much affection as you can convince yourself this has——you give off the energy of the Staplaragonical Employee. Always contorting and twisting to be a better version of yourself. Someone who isn’t just the anterior doormat. Promotions and tasks galore, YES PLEASE! At least you WANT to believe that it makes you OKAY. I’m certain it’s all a barely-stifled pretense. I mean no ILL WILL with that TRUTH SPILL; whatever makes it easier to cope with life! And no one likes a sour worker. Don’t bite the hand that PAYS you, →? LOL. LOL… (I don’t want to get ANYONE in corporational hot water with this part, so I've redacted it. Just try your best, OK? Rooting for you!) Your countenance muscles must hurt from all the smiling. I hope things turn ↑ soon. (SUSPECTED CLA-S-SPECT: MAGE OF HOPE? OR RAGE?) Be sure to give this ray of moons shine a BIG BIG FOLLOW AND A ⒌ SCAR REVIEW ON YELP. Get well soon!