@mercurialGeloscopy #nsfw #bulgerating Uhm. Okay. First purpleblood. We all know the problem here! Uh. They are off the CHARTS! So. I want you to keep in mind the concept that my ratings for these are subjective to their caste specifically. Not everyone is @murdererHonkhonk but at the same time, if they aren't, they are probably doing a lot better than anyone else! Hff. Strength is a 10. Uhm. This is the strongest bulge I've rated personally--Though, it's close to a certain fishy contender. Pliability is a 5. Average pliability! Length is a 7! Uhm. Pretty good. It can probably choke you! That's, uhm. You know. Fun! Girth is an 8! Hhhf. From base to tip it's thick. My jaw is hurting...just...thinking about it! X-Factor is a 0! He just has a good old fashion club! Secretions are offcolor. Lighter! #864ac7 Well hydrated troll despite his diet of alcohol. Uhm. But he does work out, so it's expected! Hhfff. He smells like...oil. Uhm I don't know how else to describe it? Motor oil, but it's...pleasant. It makes the tip of my nose tingle! He tastes like... blueberry yogurt? Uhm. Very nice. Creamy. His secretions are extra thick. So. Uhm. I can feel it palpably sticking to the roof of my mouth. Though it does, uhm, taste a bit like Faygo in the after taste. Specifically the grape! It weighs 2.9 pounds. Hfff the tip is fine. Lightly wider than the shaft just before it but still tapering.
I explained my reasoning!
7ou did, 7eah
ᐖ WHAT ᐖA HEᑈK IS THIS SᑈALE THEN I SEENT ᐖAT THING ᐛ
ihavent! uhm. thisisjust, uhm.,whathis bulge is telling me.
the rating isnt units of measurement! its relative quality.
No Wait, This Is My Second Most Awaited Bulge Rating.
ᐖ I SAIᐖ IT B4 BUT I AM NAWT KIᐖᐖING I THINK HIS BULGE ᑈOULᐖA KILLT ME ᐛ
hhhyeahsojustimaginethebiggerpurplebloodsiknowicantstopimaginingthemhhehhhh
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 xo) #MYSCHMEAT.