#bulgerating

@gullibleColumnist #nsfw #bulgerating #missingno You thought you could get away with it. I see the way it twitches, and how it wobbles. I see it. In my mind's eye. Your bulge is a tortured thing. You deny your bulge its purpose. Between the two of us, I was nothing, you still defined me as pathetic. Yet, only one of us is living in a fairy tale where bulges to unused. Unclaimed. Unworthy. Go on. Whip it out. Whip. It. Out. You won't. Strength is a 4. Your bulge is untrained and wily, yet ineffective in a duel. Pliability is an 8. This is a weakness due to you...Read more

@caliBorn #nsfw #bulgerating #vomit #gore Truth be told, this isn't really a bulge rating... It's so much more. I made contact once. Just once. It was not even that long. Maybe a second. My pan feels like it is broken a little now. Heheh. You all keep asking me what the cherub felt like through Meionics, and I need you to understand that I do not think I am capable of providing a proper rating for something like that. There was no bulge. Uhm. That much was clear. Or rather, there was, but it was buried beneath something else. Something coiling into itself endlessly. Everything and noth...Read more

@articulatedClawtography #nsfw #bulgerating hhhiloveolivebloodbulgesalotsoletsgetthisoverwith The Muckrake is a near and dear to this page in particular due to constant offerings of financial support and attempting to get me a job in her ever-expanding portfolio. To begin with the easy part, let's take care of stats. Strength is a 4. But don't be fooled. She has most of her strength packed into her groin muscles externally to this particular phallus. So, while the bulge itself isn't quite the flexor, there are powers at play that allow her to have the most extraordinary additional maneuver...Read more

hhh @chitinousTraveler #nsfw #bulgerating Ihhhidkino. thisthingisweird. Okay. So, hh. Beetel Salion is apparently a desertdwelling jadeblood daywalker??? He asked for me to write this, only after I sent him a coin, so he could say I paid him for the reading. To be clear, I didn't. Strength is a 10. You'll see. Pliability is a 1. You'll see. Length is a 9. You'll see. Girth is a 5? You'll see. X-Factor is somehow both 10 and -10. This troll has a mutation of sorts that makes his bulge rigid and his sheathe is more like a telescoping slot rather than a series of blood mem...Read more

@tumblingTenet #nsfw #bulgerating Okay everyone. This is a unique one! The stats basically don't matter. For me, anyway. Strength: 6. Really strong! But not as powerful as other purplebloods. Pliability: 8. Really good! Length: 6. Throat tickler for sure... Girth: 4. Won't break your jaw. X-Factor: 10!!!!!! HIS BULGE HAS CHUCKLEVOODOO PSYCHOACTIVE NODES. LOWBLOODS. PSIONIC RECEPTIVELOWBLOODS. TRYCOMMUNICATING AGAINSTHISBULGE. YOU WON'T REGRET IT! Hhhh He is made to be a sensual #subjuboss in a society in which bulge-based exchanges are regular. He reads like one of @archiveAddict'...Read more

@mercurialGeloscopy #nsfw #bulgerating Uhm. Okay. First purpleblood. We all know the problem here! Uh. They are off the CHARTS! So. I want you to keep in mind the concept that my ratings for these are subjective to their caste specifically. Not everyone is @murdererHonkhonk but at the same time, if they aren't, they are probably doing a lot better than anyone else! Hff. Strength is a 10. Uhm. This is the strongest bulge I've rated personally--Though, it's close to a certain fishy contender. Pliability is a 5. Average pliability! Length is a 7! Uhm. Pretty good. It can probably c...Read more

@isolatedWreckage #nsfw #bulgerating Uhm. I'm going to be honest again! Still difficult to parse multi-bulge mutations. So, I apologize for possibly getting this wrong ahead of time, Goldblood Friend. Your bulge is neat. Strength is a 5! Not amazing. But serviceable. Strong for your cast! Pliability is a 6! Uhm. It's fine. Not my preference but I like the wriggly ones! Length is a 5! Average-maybe below average slightly? But... Girth is a 7. Uhm. You seem to have a decently good base, and there is a mid-section bump that, uhm, boosts your GirthScore. Almost...like...other trolls' knots but ...Read more

@caligulasAquarium #wingrating #bulgerating #nsfw Let's start off with the wings... These are very interesting. Uhm. It's my secondtimeconnecting with wings like this. The first being a bronzeblood. They taste like raisins, and smell of the ocean. They glitter a lot! I only have two things to rate them off of. Style: 5. Uhm. You're the benchmark. sorry. Strength: 5. Ssssame. Sorry for the lackluster wing review. I need more casestudies. Uhm. Bulgetime! Eridan Ampora comes in with a sense of regality unseen in his counterparts. Somehow clocking in higher than his, uhm, ...Read more

@cesarianAqueduct #nsfw #bulgerating Uhm. Okay. This is a lot. First of all, I can tell that there are multiple bulges! Five, I think. The taste is like seaweed. Almost like a roll of somekind. However there is an overpowering saltiness to it as well! It smells of wine, and is intoxicatingly so! Strength: 5! Low for a Violet, but when you combine that with the fact its five bulges, its basically a 12 on the Strength Scale! Pliability: 10! Each of these gnashing tendrils are quite capable. Length: Uhm. Okay so they aren't all the same length! 4-7 is the range! Girth: Each one clock...Read more

#nsfw #bulgerating @pendingCompliance This is another, uhm, corporate request. It makes me worry about how companies are structured. This particular troll is, uhm, unique in a way I'll get into later. For now, his bulge actually doesn't secrete a smell. Uhm. Outside of normal body musk. His taste is sour...in a good way! Like candy. It weighs 1.6 Pounds. Uhm, he has a unique musculature mutation that I will explain later. Strength: 5. Average, commendable! Pliability: 6. This is fine too! Able to navigate down an unsuspecting maw. Length: 7. Very good for his caste! Uhm. Hhh. Girt...Read more

@pulchritudePowerhouse HHHhuman bulges aren't my specialty. Many humans don't have the necessary nerve receptors needed for my psionics to be fully engaged. #nsfw #bulgerating As other humans know, I, uhm, use a different rating system. Pulchritude: 8. I would say that your is highquality. Clean,andfreeof any notable issues. Primary flaw is a slight curve to the right. Vim: I'd say a solid 4 Vim. Hhh This isn't anything to be a shamed of. You only just cap out at about two sessions. Length: Youhaveanadmirablelength rating of 6. Mind you these are not units. Girth: HHhfor ahuman you have a gi...Read more

#nsfw #bulgerating It is hypocritical of me to not provide the same level of transparency with my own bulge as it is regarding the bulges of those who have requested my judgement. Wrothe has made his pathetic attempt to court my pitch very clear. I am disinterested as I am incapable of being in anyone's quadrants for I may explode their bulge with my psionic prowess. To fully explain what it is I do, and how I do it, you must understand that I am hemoanonyomus, and anonymous in identity by design. I am an integral part of the Empress's surveillance ecosystem. I will continue in this role. Le...Read more

@heedlessCheapskate FORGOT TO TAG OH MY GOSH #nsfw #bulgerating Last one for the night...Because... It's so cute... Strength is an 8! Be careful! Pliability is a 3... Kinda stiff! Length is... a 3... Second smallest one tonight!" Girth is a solid 7! When you consider the length, anyway. X-Factor is a 4! Rare for bulges to be this petite and...playful. Uhmn. It sports some unique markings on it that allow it to glow. It has a series of graspers along its underridge that can contrast with hemocontrol and give it additional grip as well as being extremely pleasurable. It tastes o...Read more

I LIED ABOUT WROTHE'S BULGE! I WAS GENEROUS IN EVER STATISTIC. @gratuitousAnnuity #NSFW #BULGERATING HHHH. ITSPITIFUL. ITSSMALL. ITCOULDNTPLEASEAYESBUTTON ITCANTEVENSLIDEPASTYOURPANTIES ITCANTDOANYTHING ITSALUMP ITSUSELESS THISISALLTRUE 0/10 STRENGTH 0/10 PLIABILITY 0/10 LENGTH 0/10 GIRTH -20000000000000000 X FACTOR ITS NOT ONLY SHAPED LIKE A DUMB ARROW BUT ITS THE DOWNTREND ARROW. EVEN HIS BULGE IS DEPRESSED ABOUT BEING HIS BULGE.

@technicallyTimaeus You're up! Uhm. You don't.. You don't count for my normal rating system! But we're both technologically inclined so I was able to dig up some other stats about you. Although you are technically a single gram of mass containing all of your data hidden within a set of glasses, that doesn't mean you're out of the running. #nsfw #bulgerating? Uhm. Okay. Physically. There is no bulge. Or penis. Or anything! He's sunglasses. However I was able to connect to his personality protocol and--make some determinations. Hhhh. There was already a simulated bulge...Read more

@gratuitousAnnuity I have been permitted by CrockerCorp and Wrothe to review... Him. #nsfw #bulgerating Uhm. I'm not a big fan of this one! But let's get through it. Strength: 9! This is actually fantastic. Uhm. If not concerning for other reasons. Pliability: 0???? Uhm. Length: 6. It's... It's fine. But seems longer than it really should count for. Girth: 4: Respectable. I guess. X Factor: -1000000000000 I am so sorry. But. It's shaped like his.. Uhm. Stock arrow things? And I can feel it twitching. It-- it can't be comfortable. Feel free to deny it. It tastes like... cae...Read more

@resplendentCandour #nsfw #bulgerating Uhm. Technically, he did not request this and has been requested to have it made clear that it was not his idea and he is only engaging in his peers' requests because he is a generous CEO. I. don't know what that means. His bulge smells like fresh ink from a quill pot. Like, I'm about to sign a contract with him. It tastes of blue. Uhm. I think you get what I mean when I say that. But very blue. Overwhelmingly blue! I like it. Kind of makes my tongue tingle in numbness! There's a sort of aluminum undertaste as well. Like, I'm drinking blue from...Read more

By, uhm, way of the queue, there's someone I've been excited to talk about all day finally. @affableCantor #nsfw #bulgerating Hhh. Where do I start? From the moment you began reading my words, I was able to pick up on you. I guess. Uhm. On request, I had noticed it. Eeking out, a bit. I would say about two tablespoons of slurry had secreted base to tip at that point, though you weren't fully erect. Uhm. Hhff this is the sweetest bulge I've ever tasted. Like. a refined fig plucked fresh from the tree. I can feel the juices swell at the back of my throat. My pan went into a bit of shellshoc...Read more

thiswillbequickandprobablyruinmyreputationbutitstrueiswearitstrueimneverwrong #bulgerating #nsfw @aeneasCaldarium Hhh. You should know from the title. Uhm. Ill keep it brief! Strength: 10! Uhm. Shouldntbesurprisingreally its the same as uhm, other, violets. Pliability: 2! Very sturdy, uhm, and stiff. Not too fun for me... but, great for ramming... Length: 10! It kind of, uhm, shouldn't be a shocker? Highbloodstendtohavethebiggestandbestestbulgesofthemall Girth:7! A solidly phalicbulgewithastrongbase. Uhm. X Factor!: I'd probably say, an 8? Hisbulgehisveryveryverystrange But. ...Read more

@controversialMilk #nsfw #bulgerating You are a hard troll to read. But I did it. Please, correct me if I'm wrong! I am working across timespace here. Your sheathe currently smells of a soft detergent due to your drawers. Its own #scent is a bit hard to makeout as a result. But I'm getting hints of green apple with a tang! Your #taste is... a classic. Almost that of your standard fleshtone taste many attribute but there is a small bit of bitter sweat to it. Hhh. And, uhm, your secretions are actually olive despite your lime status! Drink more water. Unique features are sparce, bu...Read more

P-Part two of Rankmaid's #NSFW #BULGERATING as requested by @caliBorn. @archiveAddict Block #BULGERATING if you wanna see me but not my psionic powers, I guess. We are covering the scent. So. #musk and otherstuff... It might be gross x( But I can't help it. Maybe #nsfwe? people cant tell what tag this should be under... To put it mildly, her bulge smells of iron and aspartame. It's a sickening sweet that hands in your mouth like you just cut your tongue on a can of energy elixir. There is a definitive sweat to it. Uhm. Very sharp too! Scentwise. I mean. It has a dull tip. It's currently....Read more