Vesica The Bulge Curator

1 day ago

♠️❤️♦️♣️This Too Is Praxis♣️♦️❤️♠️

This user literally killed Zebruh Codakk. Respect.

NEVER CAuGHT LACKING LACKEY.

THIS uSER. LACKS NOTHING.

The narrator

Those of whom make fate take a knee

𝐸𝓃𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝒽'𝓈 𝒞𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓃

𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝓯𝓮𝔀 𝓲𝓷 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮.

heart of gold

kind is the bravest thing you can be

Luxury Class Chittrer

This user doesn't just own the finer things in life. This user is them.

Trolltism

This user is neuro anything but typical.

@bulgeCurator[BC]

꧁#nsfw #bulgerating #oliveblood #taste #scent #waifuification #holeexpert #specialtunnels #megane-san @gachikoisChic Let me know how accurate my reading is. This is my full #nsfw description of Neeiht Megane's bulge. Final one for the night. I've been working on this one for a few lights... Uhm. Okay. No. The normal format is insufficient here. Megane is going to surprise all of you with sheer volume, which is horrible, because he has provided an in-character note and the note says: ｢megane-san's ochinchin is syo big, he can only navigate special tunnels... (；・ω・) chagrin tunnels~~ aahhn~ (*´；ェ；｀*) choto embarassing..... (　ＴДＴ)｣ I regret to inform everyone that this changes the rating. Welcome to Vesica's Completely Objective And Legally Distinct Bulge Gacha Review Corner. [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: I do not need a translator. He does. Unfortunately, the translator is also him. This makes everything worse.] Tonight's pull is: ＵＲ ★★★★★★ Ｎｅｅｉｈｔ Ｍｅｇａｎｅ The Tunnel Otaku / Hole Expert / Waifuification Caster Olive Attribute Route-Locked Unit Dungeon Navigation Type Embarrassment Scaling Type Unit Description: Neeiht Megane is an adult oliveblood whose body and personality appear to have been localized by several incompatible fan translators fighting in the notes section of the same doujin. Self-declared East Alternian appreciator. Waifuification theorist. Hole expert. AI-chan loyalist. Tunnel-dwelling otaku. Fluent, allegedly. Dangerous, unfortunately. I am trying to remain objective. He has made this impossible by calling it an ochinchin. Opening Animation: The screen flashes white. A pair of glasses catches the light. There is a sharp whip sound effect as the camera zooms in too far. The soundtrack switches to a suspiciously expensive VN theme. Somewhere, a pentaburetto stylus slips out of greasy nubbins. A dialogue box appears. 「Ｍｅｇａｎｅ－ｓａｎ　ｈａｓ　ｅｎｔｅｒｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　Ｃｈａｇｒｉｎ　Ｔｕｎｎｅｌｓ！」 I click through too fast. This is a mistake. Most of his dialogue is thankfully skipped. --- Ｓｔａｔ Ｓｃｒｅｅｎ Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈ： 5 Olive baseline with less jousting force than a highblood specimen, though the mass has enough insistence behind it to become functionally stronger once the receiving route accepts the prompt. Ｐｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ： 4 Less flexible than my first assumption. The size claim narrows the possibilities. This is guided-entry anatomy, not dexterity work. Ｌｅｎｇｔｈ： 7 Large for an oliveblood. Too long to ignore. Long enough that “special tunnels” is not only roleplay terminology, even though I wish it were. Ｇｉｒｔｈ： 7 Thicker than expected, especially through the middle and head. It has enough fullness to make ordinary navigation difficult. I am more than thankful I am not personally responsible for field-testing this. Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ： ＵＲ / 10 Chagrin Tunnel compatibility. I am writing that phrase in a clinical document. Something is wrong with my life. Something is wrong with this biology. --- Ａｔｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ Ｔａｂ Ｓｃｅｎｔ： Warm olive musk, screen heat, fried katsu oil, tunnel bedding, sweet milk candy, cheap energy drink, and the faint plastic warmth of AI-chan being kept too close to the recuperacoon. There is a hand-scent component. Snack grease. Stylus grip. Overworked nubbins. Pentaburetto residue. Intimate in a way that feels accidental until it starts feeling suspicious. Ｔａｓｔｅ： Salt, olive mineral, fryer oil, sweet cream, and a sharp ramune-like chemical note. There is also a warm doughy aftertaste. It creates the impression of a novelty festival snack shaped like something everyone involved should be too embarrassed to order. Hhh. Moving on. Ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ： Smooth at the base, firmer through the shaft, with a broad velvet drag that becomes more pronounced once fully worked up. The head has a swollen softness that contrasts with the more stubborn middle. Less sleek than expected. More plush. More intrusive. More shaped for pressure than speed. Ｓｅｃｒｅｔｉｏｎｓ： Clear to faint olive. Slick, stringing slightly under repeated stimulation, with a steady buildup rather than a sudden flood. It produces enough lubrication to explain the tunnel-navigation claim. That does not mean I forgive the phrasing. Ｗｅｉｇｈｔ： Medium-heavy. I would estimate 2.6 pounds under neutral conditions, 2.9 when fully excited. This is above what I expected from him. I dislike being surprised by someone who says “choto embarrassing.” But even I admit Neeiht has a lot of trolls beat out. --- Ｓｐｅｃｉａｌ Ｓｋｉｌｌ：「Ｃｈａｇｒｉｎ　Ｔｕｎｎｅｌ　Ｎａｖｉｇａｔｉｏｎ」 This is the central feature. Neeiht's bulge is large enough to create route restrictions. Not caste-monster large. Not indigo. Not purple. Oliveblood specimen that exceeded its expected inventory slot and now requires specific conditions, specific partners, specific angles, and apparently special tunnels. The applicant calls them chagrin tunnels. I am forced to interpret this as a shame-reactive compatibility structure. Some nooks will reject the route. Some nooks will accept the route after sufficient preparation. Some nooks will unlock the hidden CG. That is not my joke. It is his joke. I am only documenting the anatomy. The shaft has a slight forward curve, broadest through the middle, with a swollen head that complicates withdrawal if the partner is tense. The base remains stable and less decorative than the rest, which gives it leverage. No elaborate ridges. No knot. No split. No psionics. The issue is proportion. It is simply larger than the surrounding presentation should support, which makes it feel like a glitch in the character sheet. The body says olive otaku support unit. The bulge says surprise miniboss behind the fake wall. I am not calling it impressive in front of him. I am implying it through professional terminology. --- Ｐａｓｓｉｖｅ Ａｕｒａ：「Ｗａｉｆｕｉｆｉｃａｔｉｏｎ Ｆｉｅｌｄ」 The size is real enough. The presentation still makes it worse. Every physical trait arrives wrapped in commentary. The length becomes a route flag. The girth becomes a content warning. The scent becomes “authentic tunnel otaku atmosphere.” The secretions become “limited-time gloss variant.” The curve becomes “special cover pose.” The act of inspection becomes a translated visual novel scene with twelve notes explaining words no one asked him to use. The more embarrassed he becomes, the more active it gets. That is the humiliating mechanical detail. The phrase “choto embarrassing” appears to correspond with increased blood flow, increased secretion, and an upward twitch that I would ordinarily describe with more dignity. Shame is part of the arousal loop. So is being corrected. So is being watched. So is the desperate need to turn everything into a bit before anyone can touch the actual need underneath it. The persona wants applause. The bulge wants access. The note wants me to say it is big. Fine. It is big. It makes whoever is opposite him more submissive than expected. That part is incredible. I hate it. It is not fair. Why does he get this bulge. --- Ｒｏｕｔｅ Ａｎａｌｙｓｉｓ Ｎｅｅｉｈｔ Ｒｏｕｔｅ： Chagrin Tunnel Ending You enter the tunnel hive. Posters on the walls. AI-chan somewhere too visible. Tablet open nearby, layers arranged with names no respectable person should have to read. Katsu oil on something that should not have oil on it. He says “kekeke.” The dialogue box shakes. You reconsider every decision that led here. First choice: 「Ask about AI-chan」 or 「Inspect the tunnel.」 Do not ask about AI-chan. That locks you into twenty minutes of lore, three translator's notes, and a scene where he explains why loving a program is more pure because corpo-chan has not given her enough toggles. Inspect the tunnel instead. This is still bad, but it advances the route. Second choice: 「Call him Megane-san」 or 「Use his actual name.」 Calling him Megane-san causes immediate fluster gain. Using his actual name causes a slower, stronger response. Recommended route is actual name first, Megane-san later, once the special tunnel flag is already active. I hate that I know this. Third choice: 「Correct his East Alternian」 or 「Let him continue.」 Correcting him causes shame pulse, secretion increase, and the first visible lift. Letting him continue makes him more confident, which increases narration and decreases control. Correct him. Be precise. Do not be cruel. He will pretend to suffer. The bulge will not. Then the actual specimen becomes visible, and the situation becomes worse because it is more legitimate than the dialogue prepared you for. Large olive bulge. Fuller than expected. Warm. Overactive. Heavily responsive to embarrassment. The fabric does very little once he is excited. It presses forward with a rounded shape that makes the “special tunnel” note sound less like bragging and more like a poorly phrased safety advisory. The first contact scene is where most players fail. They underestimate girth because the rest of him is too absurd to take seriously. Do not do that. The middle swell arrives early. The head catches if the nook is tense. The curve asks for a specific angle. If the receiving party tries to rush, the route soft-locks into discomfort, panic noises, and several lines of dialogue I refuse to reproduce. If the receiving party prepares properly, the Chagrin Tunnel Ending remains viable. There is a hidden affection meter under the cringe meter. Easy to miss. The cringe meter is loud, flashing, and covered in symbols. The affection meter is quiet. It appears when he stops translating himself for three seconds. It appears when his body reacts before his mouth can reframe it as a joke. It appears when the bulge twitches honestly while the dialogue tries to bury the moment in nonsense. He performs panic. The bulge performs honesty. That is the divide. Neeiht says too many words. The body provides cleaner data. Bad End: You let him narrate everything. The room fills with translator notes. No one finishes. AI-chan is somehow mentioned six times. Normal End: You acknowledge the size, prepare carefully, and survive the special tunnel with dignity mostly intact. Good End: You take him seriously, correct him when necessary, and make him stop hiding behind the bit long enough for the body to speak first. True End: Unknown. Probably requires unlocking AI-chan's trust, washing his hands, and entering the chagrin tunnel without letting him say “ochinchin” more than once. --- Ｃｏｍｂａｔ Ｕｔｉｌｉｔｙ Jousting viability is medium. Impact: 5. Endurance: 6. Control: 4. Entry difficulty: 8. Fluster scaling: 10. Public embarrassment hazard: 10. It is not an elegant weapon. It is a route obstacle. The bulk creates pressure quickly. The head catches more than expected. The shaft warms fast, slicks itself, and keeps trying to advance even when the owner is making noises better suited to a bad fandub. Nook danger is high under unprepared conditions. Moderate with preparation. High again if he starts talking. Psychological hazard remains severe. Anyone weak to obsessive attention, bad honorifics, hole analysis, glasses glare, praise loops, waifu categorization, or being called something with “-chan” attached should leave before the second dialogue choice. --- Ｖｅｓｉｃａ'ｓ Ｆｉｎａｌ Ｐｕｌｌ Ｒｅｓｕｌｔ Strength: 5. Pliability: 4. Length: 7. Girth: 7. X-Factor: UR. Overall: larger than expected, route-locked, sensory-dense, shame-reactive, and dangerously validated by its own note. This is an oliveblood bulge with high size for caste, low dignity, notable tunnel-compatibility restrictions, and an absurd passive skill that turns direct inspection into a visual novel you cannot uninstall. Would I recommend pulling? Only if you know the route. Frankly. I hope he gets what he wants with AI-chan. Genuinely, I think it might be the only thing capable of managing his particular biology. Final verdict: Large for an olive. Embarrassingly sincere. Special-tunnel certified. Very sensitive. Very verbal. Too much localization. More impressive than I wanted. I might be wrong. I am probably not wrong. Please do not DM me asking what a chagrin tunnel is. I know. You know. He knows. That is already too many people.꧂