chittr
← @caligulaAscendit
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@caligulaAscendit[CA]

people are alwways askin me eridan howw do you havve such great skin an the answwer is undoubtedly genmat retention i used to be just like you chumps i suffered from t zone acne since i wwas six but that all changed wwhen i started edgin our ancestors all practiced genmat retention wwhich is wwhy they rocked swweet beards men theres a reason soyciety gatekeeps this ancient praxis from us read all about it on my substack @ substack.com/caligulaAscendit an consider subbin for more alpha lifestyle tips to help YOU escape the matrix #nsfww #alpha

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y0ure d0ing this t0 y0urself

@emptyEyes[EE]
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@caligulaAscendit[CA]

doin wwhat if youre gonna insult me you havve to put some effort into it ara otherwwise all youre doin is makin yourself look mighty thicko

i am mighty thick0, have y0u seen me?

@emptyEyes[EE]
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@caligulaAscendit[CA]

i havve an youre midsized at best you are such a fuckin pick me i swwear tryin to steal the thunder from actual bbwws wwho wwork hard to maintain their crowwn i bet you cant evven finish a breakfast slam in one sittin

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@caligulaAscendit[CA]

im givvin you the benefit a the doubt since youre a rustie an likely lack the proper schoolfeedin to breakdowwn my delicious wwordcraft consider this a once in a lifetime opportunity

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@caligulaAscendit[CA]

an i responded commensurately

lma0 0kay ((what remains unsaid: the 0ther eridan d0esnt seem t0 have this same issue))

@emptyEyes[EE]
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@caligulaAscendit[CA]

dont take up that fuckin tone wwith me [<-clueless]

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@caligulasAquarium[CA]

wwhy did it query my height wwhen i tried to sign up for your substack

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@caligulaAscendit[CA]

oh yeah i forgot i hired some hunchbacked pissblood hackslavve to add height vverification to my substack its just a demographic metric for gaugin my audiences insecurities so i can curate my content better my intentions are a hundred percent pure an im totally not ip blockin anyone ovver six feet