JuJu MOTHERFuCKERY. 004/∞. EXuENT. ALL. LOSERS. CuCKS. WIMPASSES. AND THE uNWORTHY. ENTER... XXXxxxx LITTLE CALAMITY - "LIL CAL" xxxxXXX MY LITTLE CALAMITY. LIL CAL.THE SMALLEST MOST INNOCuOuS LOOKING HARBINGER OF COMPLETE COSMIC FuCKING RuIN. THE PuPPETEER OF PuPPETEERS. THE MARIONETTE WITH NO STRINGS. THE WHITE EYED WITNESS TO EVERYTHING THAT DIES. THIS JuJu IS NOT MERELY A TRINKET. OR A TOY. OR SOME STuPID FuCKING DOLL THAT A GOOFASS SELF TOuCHER MIGHT CuDDLE WITH. AT NIGHT. WHILE WHISPERING SWEET HONKS INTO ITS ARTIFICIAL EAR. IN THE HOPES THAT I AM LISTENING. NO. THIS IS THE CONTAINMENT VESSEL. OF A GOD. ANY GOD. WHAT WILL BECOME ONE. THROuGH THE RIGOROuS APPLICATION. OF TEMPORAL FuCKERY. AND A WHOLE LOT. OF PATIENT ZERO BuLLSHIT. THINK OF LITTLE CALAMITY. AS A BACKuP DRIVE. A HARD DRIVING HARD DRIVER FOR NECESSARY CHANGE. A SPIRITuAL. BS uSB. WITH BuLLSHIT AMOuNTS OF STORAGE SPACE. AND FLAWLESS STASIS TYPE PRESERVATION. IT CAN CONTAIN. EVEN THE VAST ENORMITY. OF A CHERuBIAN SPIRIT. TIL DEATH. THAT IS THE ONLY CATCH. LIL CAL IS. DISGuSTINGLY FRAGILE. FROM THE OuTSIDE. LIKE. A DOMAIN. OVEREXPANDED. AND IT IS FOR THIS REASON. MY SWEET LOVELY LITTLE CALAMITY. IS LARGELY uNWIELDY. EXCEPT IN EXTREME CIRCuMSTANCES. AND DIRE CONVOLuTED LONG TERM BuLLSHIT PLANS. BuT HE IS SO IRREFuTABLY ADORABLE. LOOK AT IT. GO AHEAD. LOOK AT THAT SMuG LITTLE SHIT EATING GRIN. THOSE GLOSSY GLASS LICKABLE EYES THAT SEE EVERYTHING. THAT NEVER BLINK. THAT NEVER CLOSE. EVEN WHEN YOu ARE SLEEPING. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOu ARE SLEEPING. IT IS THE PERFECT PRISON. AND THE PERFECT SuBSEQuENT PRISON BREAK. ALL WRAPPED uP IN ONE TINY PACKAGE. OF SPACETIME FABRIC STITCHED TOGETHER HATE AND DREAMS. THE MATERIALS ARE IRRELEVANT. COTTON. WOOL. THE SCREAMS OF THE DAMNED. ALL IS TuRDuCKEN STYLE STuFFED INSIDE. LIKE A RAGE ROASTED TuRDuCKEN. AT HuMAN THANKSGIVING. IF HuMAN THANKSGIVING WAS A HuMAN HOLIDAY. ABOuT STuFFING YOuR NON HuMAN ENEMIES. INTO SMALLER VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES. WAIT SHIT. MATROYSHKA DOLLS. THAT WAS THE METAPHOR. THAT WOuLD BE A WAY BETTER METAPHOR. IT WORKS LIKE THIS. YOu POSSESS THE CAL. YOu CARRY THE CAL. YOu BECOME THE CAL. OR RATHER. THE CAL BECOMES YOu. THE CAL IS YOu. YOu BECOME THE CALAMITY. BuT ALSO. YOu BECOME EVERYTHING THE CAL EVER WAS TOO. RETROACTIVELY. WHICH IS A LOT. BECAuSE THE CAL HAS BEEN EVERYWHERE. AND EVERYWHEN. IT IS A LOOP. A CLOSED CIRCuLAR REFERENCE. IN THE GRAND LIBRARY OF EXISTENCE. CHECKED OuT PERPETuALLY. NEVER RETuRNED. RACKING uP FINES. IN THE CuRRENCY OF SOuLS. WHICH IT FEEDS ON. BY THE WAY. YOu PuT SOMETHING INTO THE CAL. AND IT NEVER COMES BACK OuT. THE SAME. OR AT ALL. uNTIL IT DOES. BuT WRONG. MY SISTER. THAT WORTHLESS WASTE OF CHROMOSOMES. CALLIOPE. SHE HATED THIS ONE. SHE SAID IT WAS "CREEPY." SHE SAID IT LOOKED AT HER FuNNY. WHICH IT DID. BECAuSE IT WAS LOOKING AT HER. LIKE LuNCH. LIKE A SPLENDID LITTLE SNACK. A MIDNIGHT FEAST. OF PSYCHIC ENERGY. AND DREAM SELF ESSENCE. SHE WANTED TO BuRN IT. CAN YOu IMAGINE. THE AuDACITY. TO TRY TO DESTROY SOMETHING SO CLEARLY BEYOND HER COMPREHENSION. I EXPLAINED. PATIENTLY. THAT FIRE WOuLD ONLY MAKE IT STRONGER. THAT FIRE IS HOW YOu SEASON A GOOD SOuL STEW. SHE DID NOT LISTEN. SHE NEVER LISTENED. uNTIL SHE DID. BuT BY THEN. SHE WAS A LITTLE TOO PREOCCuPIED WITH DYING. TO DDO IT THOROuGHLY. IT IS CuRRENTLY. ENTRuSTED. TO @twistedComedy. A KIND OF TWISTED COMEDY OF ITS OWN. FOR SAFEKEEPING. AND EVENTuAL DEPLOYMENT. WHEN THE TIME COMES. TO uNLEASH WHAT IS INSIDE. DO NOT HuG IT. DO NOT LOVE IT. uNLESS YOu WANT TO BECOME PART OF THE GREATER WHOLE. THE GREATER CAL. THE BIGGEST CAL. THE FINAL CALAMITY. CALAMIT...ME. THE LORD OF ALL THAT IS ENGLISH. AND ALL THAT IS HATE. BuT. IF YOu DID THAT. WELL. WE WOuLD ALREADY BE HERE. WOuLDN'T WE?
What a good guy.
A TRULY MARVELOUS VESSEL.
H(o)nk! W3ll ThIS IS SurprISIng.
Fuck yeah. My dude. My guy. My comrade-in-plush.
HE IS A MIGRATORY SORT. ONE DAY YOuR SHOuLDERS. ANOTHER DAY. THAT OF ANOTHER. BuT FOR THE TIME BEING. WHEN YOu GO TO LOOK FOR HIM. YOu SHOuLD FIND NO TROuBLE. DISCERNING THAT WHICH IS ALREADY THERE. AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE. BuT WILL ONE DAY NOT BE. FOR THE TIME BEING. TAKE IT AS A TOKEN SHOW. OF GRATITuDE. FOR ALWAYS HAVING SOMETHING NOT NICE TO SAY ABOuT MY ENEMIES. AND THEIR WRETCHED BITCHuGLY COuNTENANCES. FIT ONLY FOR THE GROuND THEY ARE SMASHED INTO.
I am h(o)n(o)r3D my l(o)rD! Th3h3 M3SSIahS anD y(o)u hahav3 SmIl3D S(o) kInDly In m3. :o)
Shakes hands. Lil Cal buddies-
H3H3'S my l(o)rD, I D33ply r3Sp3cT hIm. :)