NO ONE TELLS YOU THAT HAVING NO A GRUB CAN BE A FUCKING HANDFUL TILL YOU HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE WHOLE THING YOURSELF. I SWEAR I HAVEN’T GOTTEN A PROPER DAYS REST SINCE THE LITTLE HONK MONSTER HATCHED. LUCKY ME JOHNS TAKEN OVER WATCHING HIM TILL IM DOING EATING AND BATHING.
YOU’RE HEARING THAT YOUR GRUB FINALLY HATCHED AND THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO SAY IS YOU WANT TO PLUG ME UP WITH ANOTHER ONE..? GAMZEE, AS MUCH AS I WILL ADMIT I DID LIKE THE ATTENTION AND THE FEELING OF… YOU, I DONT KNOW HOW WELL I WOULD DO BALANCING TWO GRUBS.. NOW THIS ISN'T A NO, BUT A “IF YOU WANT THAT THEN YOU NEED TO COME HERE, MEET YOUR GRUB, AND TALK WITH BOTH ME AND MY HUSBAND TO BE.” #NSFW #SUGGESTIVE
)O: yOuS AiN'T TeLl mE MaN, aGrEeD I WaS GoNnA Be hAnDs oFf. YeAh i cAn sWiNg bY ... NeRvOuS ThO MaN. lIkE My gUt wOrMs tHrOwIn a fIt. dAvE SaYs y'aLl aIn't gOt eNoUgH RoOm fOr aNoThEr oNe )O:
WELL THATS BECAUSE I WANTED SOME TIME ALONE WITH HIM TO GET USE TO HIM BEING HERE. BUT THIS WAS A POST TO KIND OF QUIETLY ANNOUNCE IT. WASNT EXPECTING THE VERY FIRST THING YOU SAY TO ME AFTER WE STOPPED BEING MOIRAILS TO BE “SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE ANOTHER ONE.”AND IM STILL CHILL ABOUT THE HANDS OFF THING BUT YOU DESERVE TO GET TO KNOW YOUR OWN BLOOD RIGHT? ASLP DONT BE SO WORRIED. HE ISNT BAD, JUST LOUD… AND TALKATIVE. SHOULD HAVE FIGURED HE WOULD PICK UP MY TRAIT IN THAT. AND IF DAVE SAYS WE DONT HAVE ROOM THEN WE DON’T HAVE ROOM. SO UNLESS YOUR PLANNING TO TAKE ONE TO RAISE YOURSELF THEN MAYBE ITS BEST WE DONT HAVE ANOTHER? PLUS THIS ONE HAS ALREADY BEEN TYING EGDERP AND I UP. DAVES BEEN HELPING IN HIS OWN WAYS TOO. LIKE GETTING ME FOOD WHEN IVE BEEN TO BUSY.
bRoThEr i ??? i dIdN'T KnOw wE BrOkE Up fEr rEaL. lIkE I ThOuGhT YoU AiN'T WaNnA N ThEn yOu nEeDeD Me fOr tHe lAyInG N StUfF. wAs a bAd tImE FoR It wItH ThE FuCkIn tEnSiOnS BeIn aLl hIgH. ... I GuEsS YeAh, StIlL WeIrD KnOwIn tHe lIl gUy mInE. wElL YoU Do bE YaPpIn bRoThA. YoU WaNnA GeT Me kNoCkEd uP MaN? dUnNo iF I CaN FeR ReAl. )o:
GAMZEE YOU CAN BE SO DENSE SOMETIMES. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT KEPT TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH ME. I DIDNT WANT TO BREAK UP BUT YOU KEPT GOING ON ABOUT WANTING TO BE WITH KANKRI, AND HOW HE UNDERSTOOD YOU BETTER SO I DESPITE NOT WANTING TO, GAVE UP. I RATHER NOT HURT YOU. AND I DIDNT WANT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL BECAUSE OF OUR GRUB. I WANTED TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL BECAUSE YOUR YOU. WHAT KIND OF MOIRAIL HOLDS BACK THE OTHER IF THEY DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND THEM. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I ACTUALLY STOPPED BEING THERE. IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY ANYTHING. CHECKED CHITTER LIKE TWICE A NIGHT TO SEE IF YOU EVER NEEDED ME OR WANTED ME. I KEPT MY PROMISE. IM STILL HERE. AND YES I KNOW “I DO BE YAPPING”. IT’S KIND OF MY THING IF IT ISN'T DAVE'S. WHICH TRUST ME HE COULD TALK NONSENSE CIRCLES AROUND ME TILL I FOUND MYSELF TOO DIZZY TO KEEP GOING AND HE WOULD STILL BE. I LOVE HIM AND WOULD LISTEN TO HIM FOR HOURS BUT HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE LONG WINDED LOOK LIKE A SLOGAN FOR THIS.. UH… FAMILY? THATS WHAT THE HUMANS CALL IT AT LEAST. AND I WASN’T SAYING I WOULD TRY AND GET YOU KNOCKED UP THOUGH IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO GO THAT ROUTE I WOULDN’T MIND TRYING BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME EVEN IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD BE TO NERVOUS TO TAKE CARE OF THE EGG OR GRUB YOURSELF. I WAS SAYING IF YOU KNOCK ME UP AGAIN YOU’RE THE ONE TAKING CARE OF THE EGG, AND EVENTUAL GRUB. WOW I AM IN A MOOD TONIGHT. #NSFW #SUGGESTIVE
tRy nOt tO Be )O: jUsT LiKe fEeLiNg lIkE M In tRoUbLe oR SoMeThIn, LiKe m bOtHeRiNg eVeRyOnE. aLwAyS FuCkIn fElT LiKe tHaT. sOrRy mAn )O: )O: YeAh, Y'AlL JuSt bUt sHuTtInG Up tOgEtHeR. tHeY GoT FuCkIn wOrDs fOr eVeRyThInG DaMn. yEaH PrObAbLy. ReAlLy aIn't tHe lUsUs tYpE, nEvEr hAd nO ExAmPlEs sO ... JuSt lIkE AlL ThE StUfF BeFoRe tHe hAtChInG ThEn tHeRe's lIkE A WhIlE PeRsOn. FuCkIn sCaRy.
I KNOW YOU DON'T TRY TO BE GAMZEE. IT’S AT NO FAULT OF YOUR OWN TO BE THAT WAY. AND I DON’T BLAME YOU FOR IT EITHER. I KNOW IM GOING TO KICK MYSELF FOR ASKING BUT WHY DID YOU STILL THINK WE WERE WHEN YOU PRACTICALLY BEGGED TO BE WITH KANKRI? I TOLD YOU TO GO FOR IT. I TOLD YOU I WOULD STILL BE THERE BUT THAT I WAS HURTING. I EVEN CHANGED MY STATUS TO SHOW I WASN'T WITH YOU ANYMORE SO YOU COULD PURSUE HIM WITHOUT HAVING ME HOLD YOU BACK. SO WHY DID YOU THINK WE WERE STILL TOGETHER? HELL IF I KNEW YOU STILL SAW US TOGETHER I WOULD HAVE TRIED TO REACH OUT MULTIPLE TIMES BECAUSE I STILL WANT YOU TO BE MY MOIRAIL AND I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU AND WORRY ABOUT YOU BUT I THOUGHT YOU CONSIDERED ME UNWORTHY OF IT. AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION I NEVER SAW YOU AS A BOTHER. YOU DON'T IRRITATE ME OFTEN AND EVEN ON THE RARE CHANCE YOU DO UPSET ME WHICH REMINDER IS A NORMAL PART OF THE RELATIONSHIP EVEN WITH MOIRAILS, IT DOESN’T MEAN I WANT TO JUST STOP CARING ABOUT YOU. OK SO I DO HAVE A BIT OF APOLOGIZING TO DO FOR SOME OF THE WORDS I SAID BUT ILL DO THAT IN PRIVATE BECAUSE I RATHER NOT GIVE CHANCE OF SOMEONE STEPPING INTO THIS CONVERSATION AND MAKING THE APOLOGY SOUND LESS THAN WHAT IT IS. HONESTLY DAVE AND I TRY AND GET OUT WHEN WE CAN NOW. IT’S JUNE WHO’S BEEN A HOME BODY. I TAKE THE GRUB OUT AT LEAST ONCE A DAY TO GET A GOOD LOOK OF THE OUTSIDE TOO BUT IM KEEPING THE PROPER SOCIALIZING TO A MINIMUM TILL HE'S BIG ENOUGH TO NOT GET SUDDENLY SICK. AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMIND ME THAT YOU DIDN’T HAVE YOUR LUSUS AROUND. I REMEMBER. I STILL THINK YOU WOULD MAKE A GOOD ONE BECAUSE THAT FEAR YOU FEEL IS THE SAME FEAR I FEEL ABOUT THIS. THAT FEELING OF “WHAT IF I FUCK HIM UP..? WHAT IF I SAY THE WRONG THING AND CHANGE HIS LIFE FOR THE WORST?” BUT THE ISSUE IS THAT IT’S A WHAT IF. YOU WONT KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY AND AS LING AS HE DOESN’T END UP BEING CULLED BEFORE HE CAN MAKE HIS OWN CHOICES OR GETS HURT REALLY BAD, THEN HOW BAD COULD I OR YOU REALLY BE AS LUSUS? IT’S SCARY BUT HE NEEDS ME NOW BECAUSE I MADE A PROMISE AND I DON’T PLAN TO BREAK IT.
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OH MY GOG, GAMZEE. YOU DO DESERVE THINGS. HAPPINESS BEING ONE OF THEM, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. AND DON’T TAKE THAT AS ME GETTING ANGRY AT YOU. I’M NOT. I’M NOT UPSET WITH YOU EITHER. I JUST… I WISH YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE SEE YOU SOMETIMES. I KNOW YOU’RE NOT AT FAULT FOR HOW YOU WERE RAISED. BUT IF YOUR LUSUS HAD JUST BUCKED THE FUCK UP AND ACTUALLY TAKEN CARE OF YOU LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO, MAYBE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE SPENT SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE THINKING YOU HAD TO EARN THE RIGHT TO BE WORTH SOMETHING. BECAUSE YOU ARE. YOU’RE CAPABLE. YOU’RE STRONG. YOU’RE SMART. HELL, YOU’RE EVEN FUNNY SOMETIMES. BUT EVERY SINGLE PART OF YOU THAT MAKES YOU YOU IS PART OF WHY YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS, RESPECT, AND LOVE. SO LEAVE THE SELF-DEPRECATION TO ME. I’VE GOT YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. …AND, YEAH. I KNOW I’M NOT EXACTLY ONE TO TALK. I’VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT MY OWN FUCK-UPS TOO. NOT THE ABSTRACT KIND. THE SPECIFIC ONES. THE TIMES I SAW YOU SHUT DOWN AND DECIDED YOU WERE BEING DIFFICULT INSTEAD OF ASKING WHAT HAD HAPPENED. THE TIMES I HEARD YOU TRYING TO MAKE A JOKE OUT OF SOMETHING THAT HURT AND GOT ANGRY BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO REACH YOU. THE TIMES I SAID THE CRUELEST THING I COULD THINK OF JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU COULDN’T BE THE ONE TO HURT ME FIRST. I REMEMBER YOUR FACE AFTER THOSE MOMENTS. THAT’S THE PART I CAN’T SHAKE. YOU’D GO QUIET, OR YOU’D LAUGH LIKE IT DIDN’T MATTER, AND I’D LET MYSELF PRETEND I HADN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG. I TOLD MYSELF YOU COULD TAKE IT. I TOLD MYSELF YOU KNEW I DIDN’T MEAN IT. BUT I THINK I WAS JUST TOO COWARDLY TO ADMIT THAT I’D WOUNDED YOU AND DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT. I CAN’T CHANGE ANY OF THAT. I CAN’T TAKE THOSE WORDS BACK OR MAKE YOU FORGET WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO HEAR THEM FROM ME. BUT I CAN STOP HIDING BEHIND THE FACT THAT I’M ANGRY OR SCARED. I CAN LISTEN BEFORE I START SWINGING. I CAN TELL YOU WHEN I’M FUCKING UP INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR YOU TO BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR BEFORE I NOTICE. I WANT TO DO BETTER. NOT BECAUSE I THINK I CAN SOMEHOW EARN FORGIVENESS IF I PERFORM WELL ENOUGH. I WANT TO DO BETTER BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO KEEP SURVIVING ME WHILE I FIGURE OUT HOW TO CARE ABOUT YOU PROPERLY. FOR YOU. FOR ME. FOR THE LITTLE GUY. JUNE’S GOT HER OWN ISSUES TOO. ONES WE’RE WORKING THROUGH SLOWLY. IT’S LIKE LOOKING AT ONE OF THOSE HUGE BALLS OF YARN NEP’S BEEN BATTLING WITH FOR NEARLY A SWEEP. JUST A MASSIVE, TANGLED FUCKING MESS WHERE YOU CAN’T EVEN FIGURE OUT WHICH END YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO START PULLING. SHE’S GETTING BETTER, THOUGH. SLOWLY. SHE DOESN’T REALLY SEEM TO WANT TO GO OUT MUCH, WHICH… I GET. WHEN YOU REALIZE HOW MANY MISTAKES YOU’VE MADE IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME, I IMAGINE THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO IS THROW YOURSELF BACK INTO THE WORLD LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. YEAH. WE DO KEEP GOING AROUND IN THAT CIRCLE, DON’T WE? BUT MAYBE THAT SAYS SOMETHING TOO. BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE PUSH, OR SNAP, OR SNARL AT EACH OTHER, NEITHER OF US ACTUALLY WANTS TO LOSE THE OTHER. AND I THINK THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT HOW MUCH WE RESPECT EACH OTHER, EVEN WHEN WE’RE BOTH TOO FUCKING STUBBORN TO SAY IT. WE’RE DIFFERENT. OBVIOUSLY. DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES, DIFFERENT LIVES, DIFFERENT WAYS OF DEALING WITH OUR OWN BULLSHIT. BUT I THINK WE’RE MORE ALIKE THAN EITHER OF US WANTS TO ADMIT. WE BOTH WANT THE OTHER TO HAVE SOMETHING BETTER. WE BOTH WANT TO KEEP THE OTHER FROM SINKING AS LOW AS WE SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE WE HAVE. AND MAYBE THAT’S WHY WE KEEP FINDING OUR WAY BACK TO EACH OTHER. JUNE ALSO HELPS WITH OUR GRUB…WHICH MAKES IT A LOT LESS FUCKING TERRIFYING. BECAUSE TRUST ME, IF I WERE DOING THIS WHOLE LUSUS THING ALONE, I’D PROBABLY BE PULLING OUT EVERY LAST STRAND OF MY HAIR BY NOW. HE’S SO FUCKING SMALL, GAMZEE. AND SOFT. I KEEP THINKING ONE WRONG MOVE AND I’M GOING TO DO SOME KIND OF REAL DAMAGE. I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE KEEPING HIM SAFE, BUT HALF THE TIME I’M WORRIED I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL I’M DOING. I CHECK HIS BREATHING WHEN HE SLEEPS. I WAKE UP IF HE MAKES A SOUND I DON’T RECOGNIZE. I KEEP REPLAYING EVERY TIME I’VE HELD HIM TOO TIGHT, EVERY TIME I’VE MISSED A HUNGER CUE OR TAKEN TOO LONG TO FIGURE OUT WHY HE WAS CRYING. I KNOW HE’S STILL HERE. I KNOW HE’S SAFE. BUT SOME PART OF ME IS ALWAYS WAITING FOR THE MOMENT I FIND OUT I WASN’T CAREFUL ENOUGH. AND THAT’S THE PART I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE I’M ABOUT TO FALL APART. I’M SCARED I’M GOING TO FAIL HIM. NOT IN SOME BIG, DRAMATIC WAY. I’M SCARED OF THE SMALL FAILURES. THE ONES THAT ADD UP WHILE YOU’RE TOO TIRED TO NOTICE. I’M SCARED I’LL TEACH HIM THAT LOVE MEANS BEING ON GUARD ALL THE TIME. THAT HE’LL LEARN TO FLINCH WHEN I RAISE MY VOICE. THAT HE’LL LOOK AT ME ONE DAY AND SEE SOMEONE HE HAS TO PLEASE INSTEAD OF SOMEONE HE CAN RUN TO. I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE MADE TO FEEL LIKE YOUR NEEDS ARE A BURDEN. I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO THINK ONE WRONG MOVE WILL COST YOU THE ONLY CARE YOU’VE GOT. I DON’T WANT HIM TO LEARN THAT FROM ME. I DON’T WANT HIM TO HAVE TO EARN SAFETY. BUT THEN HE STARTS MAKING THOSE LITTLE CHIRPS AND HONKS OF HIS, AND SOMEHOW HE ALWAYS MANAGES TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE MAYBE I CAN ACTUALLY DO THIS. LIKE MAYBE I CAN KEEP HIM SAFE. MAYBE I CAN BE GOOD AT THIS. NOT PERFECT. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO PROMISE THAT. JUST PRESENT. JUST WILLING TO NOTICE WHEN I’M WRONG AND TRY AGAIN BEFORE HE HAS TO ASK ME TO. …I SHOULD WARN YOU, THOUGH. HE’S COLD. LIKE, REALLY FUCKING COLD. JUST LIKE YOU. I’M CONSTANTLY HAVING TO WARM HIM UP WITH CUDDLES OR BATHS, AND YOU SHOULD SEE HIM WHEN I TAKE HIM TO BATHE. HE GETS THIS LITTLE GLEAM IN HIS EYES. THE EXACT SAME ONE YOU GET WHEN YOU’VE GOT SOME PLAYFUL LITTLE IDEA BREWING IN THAT STUPID HEAD OF YOURS. SO, CONGRATULATIONS, I GUESS. YOU’VE APPARENTLY MANAGED TO PASS ON THE MENACE.
my gød yøu twø can i suggest maybe just having gam cøme øver instead øf having this super impørtant cønvø øn chittr