MY TOP FIVE TROLL WEEZER SONGS, FROM LOWEST TO HIGHEST, ARE: 5 - [I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE] - LISTEN. I'LL BE THE FIRST TROLL TO SAY THAT TROLL RIVERS CUOMO IS CERTIFIABLY, SHITSCUTTLINGLY INSANE. BUT IT'S A HIGHLY SPECIFIC METHOD OF MADNESS. THE METHOD THAT SAW THIS POOR, SWEATING, SHAKY-PRONGED FAILMALE ON THE DREADMILL EVERY NIGHT, LISTENING OBSESSIVELY TO THE TOP POP SONGS OF EVERY TEN-SWEEP INCREMENT FOR THE LAST SEVENTY SWEEPS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO A MAN. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SOUL-COMPACTING, DIAMOND-FORMING, ABDOMEN CHEEK-CLENCHING PRESSURE OF CONFORMITY THAT KIND OF CREATIVE PROCESS PUTS A TROLL UNDER? THIS IS A SMALL REBELLION. THIS IS A TWITCH IN THE DEAD, GALVANIZED STRUTPOD OF AN ELECTROCUTED SQUEAKBEAST. A SPARK OF LIFE IN THE PUSHER OF A BLOATED CORPSE. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THE ALBUM IT'S ON. THIS ONE IS FOR THE HATERS. 4 - [SMALL OBLONG ROEFRUITS OF WRATH] - AGAIN, I DEMAND THAT YOU WITHHOLD YOUR POD-JERK INSTINCT TO AUDIBLY GAG AT THIS CHOICE. HEAR ME OUT. THIS SONG IS FUCKING STUPID. IT HAS A A CATCHY HOOK. IT HAS LITTLE ELSE. IT'S ABOUT AS EMOTIONALLY OR MUSICALLY MEANINGFUL AS A BRICK TO THE NUGBONE. BUT IT IS ALSO AN AUDIOBOOK PLATFORM ADVERTISEMENT. BY TROLL RIVERS CUOMO. THE BIGGEST, NERDIEST BOOKMAGGOT TO EVER PUT A TROLL BUC-EES STICKER ON HIS BUZZHARP. SOMEHOW, EVEN IN HIS DEFLATED COMMERCIALISM STATE, I CAN HEAR A SMILE ON HIS FACE. 3 - [HAUNT YOU EVERY NIGHT] - ANYONE WHO WANTS TO CLOWN ME OFF OF CHITTR FOR PUTTING A SONG FROM THIS UTTERLY CHUTEBLASTED, MAGGOT-RIDDEN HEAP OF SHIT OF AN ALBUM IS WELCOME TO DO SO. BUT NOT BEFORE YOU LISTEN TO THIS SONG AGAIN. THE MOURNFUL WAIL. THE LUGUBRIOUS HOWL. THIS SONG DRIVES A WROUGHT-IRON STAKE DEEP INTO THE RECESSES OF MY BLOOD PUSHER. DEEPER AND DEEPER STILL, THE MELODY HAMMERS THE GUTWRENCHING METAL WEDGE INTO MY SOPPING FEELMEAT. AND WHEN IT'S DONE, IT YANKS THE WHOLE THING OUT AND STARTS POURING A PITCHER OF CAUSTIC BLACK TAR INTO THE YAWNING, BLOOD-SOAKED CAVITY. THIS SONG IS DEPRESSION INCARNATE. I LOVE HOW BAD IT FEELS TO LISTEN TO IT. THIS IS *THE* ALBUM CLOSER. 2 - [YOU GAVE YOUR FLUSH CRUSH TO ME SOFTLY] - I'VE ALREADY MADE MY VEHEMENT RUMINATIONS ON HOW STUPID GOOD TROLL PINKERTON IS. THERE ARE SOME REAL SHAMEDUCT-JERKERS ON THIS ALBUM. SEE THE ABOVE DESCRIPTION ON THE RANKING LIST FOR A GENERAL IDEA OF THE EXPECTED FEELINGS THEY ELICIT. THIS SONG IS A FRESH, FAT BAND-ACHE ON ALL OF THAT. THIS SONG IS PURE AFTERCARE. CHASED WITH A FIZZING, FORTY-OUNCE SLURPVESSEL OF ADRENAL SLUDGE. SERIOUSLY, THIS SONG COULD BE A TROLL ANIME OPENING. 1 - [ALL MY FAVORITE SONGS] - I. CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN THIS ONE. IT JUST REALLY SITS WITH ME. IF YOU'RE SICK IN THE NUG ENOUGH TO HAVE READ THIS FAR, THEN MAYBE I CAN JUST TRUST YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS ONE. THE MUSIC BULBFEED IS PRETTY TRACT-TWISTING, TOO. I'LL LINK IT TO THE CHIT. I HATE SAYING THIS, BUT. I APPRECIATE IT. HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=AGPDXYG1MSG
HE MAY NOT BE THE PRESIDENT, BUT HE'S THE TROLL WHO STEPPED UP FOR AN ENTIRE COLLECTION-BATCH OF YOUNG FAILMALES WHEN THEY NEEDED HIM.
Yo+u warned me.
[SECRET NUMBER 1.1 BONUS SONG FOR REAL FOLLOWERS: ZERWEE BY TROLL BILLY COBB.] - THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING. THE WHOLE EP. THIS ABSOLUTE LUNATIC REALLY SAID THAT HE GOT TIRED OF WAITING FOR A NEW TROLL WEEZER ALBUM AND MADE HIS OWN. HIVESHIT LUNACY. THIS ALBUM PAILS LIKE IT JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON. ALSO LINKING. HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=NYWWURSNZ5M
SIGH. OKAY. I'M WILLING TO DO IT. @WEEZER
Great choices from a multitude of eras!! Have a =w=eezer badge!! https://file.garden/ZrdXShyrrgxh449j/il_fullxfull.625547686_1tku.png
troll pinkerton is the undisputed elegy a sexually frustrated khhvvs i kneww you wwould understand
A Caegar For Your Thoughts On Ashen Triangle
REPLYING TO THIS NOW THAT I'M BACK AT MY HIVE AND SIX DIEBUPROFENS TO THE GRAVE. ASHEN TRIANGLE DESERVES AN HONORABLE MENTION. I AM EXERCISING THE JUDICIOUS RESTRAINT — WHICH THIS SITE FRANKLY DOES NOT DESERVE — TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I HAVE A BIAS, BECAUSE ASHEN TRIANGLE WAS MY *FIRST* TROLL WEEZER SONG. THAT SAID, WHAT A METEORIC IMPACT IT MADE. IT HAS IT ALL. THE CLASSIC SOUND. THE UNCOMFORTABLE LYRICS. THE MOST MASCULINE FORM OF LONGING OF THE PATHETIC TAXONOMIES — OF PINING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL CATEGORICALLY NEVER SHOW INTEREST WITH YOU, AND BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT IT ON STAGE WITH A BUZZHARP. I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG. IT'S PAINFULLY TOO-HONEST TROLL RIVERS CUOMO AT HIS FINEST. IF YOU LOADED "ASHEN TRIANGLE" AND "ACROSS THE VOID" INTO A GUN AND FIRED IT AT ANYONE WITH EVEN A FLEETING CONCEPT OF SOCIAL PROPRIETY, YOU WOULD SEND THEM STRAIGHT TO HELL. TEN MIDDLE FINGERS OUT OF TEN. I LOVE ASHEN TRIANGLE.
Thank You For Your Candid Review Truthfully I Already Kind Of Figured This Is Exactly What Youd Give As Your Opinion On That Record But Felt It Necessary To Ask Anyways For The Posterity Of Your Overall Rankings And Also Because I Wanted To I Must Admit Ashen Triangle Has Grown On Me Over The Sweeps It Is A Highly Pitiable Tune Indeeed