@discardedPasts β #substance
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:Flower Spiral into insanity While all the drugs are curing me While I can forget everything I want to be, Blargh! Don't lead into calamity You know there's nothing left of me While I can forget everything I want to be, Blargh! I feel the light inside of me Too late, it's gone, no hope for me While I can forget everything I want to be, Blargh! #substance πΌπππππ’ πππ
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@damascusDoctorate The final sign of madness. I put the bottle down and I looked in the mirror. I had no idea what the balance was between being out of my mind enough not to feel what I was about to do, and being in my mind enough to do it properly. I don't think I put the lid back on, but it was empty anyway. Did I drink that much? Nevermind. I have to get this right. The open razor was just where Dad left it, shiny enough to reflect light, but not shiny enough to see my face in it properly. Good. I didn't want to. I took my glasses off, knowing the arms w...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@pearlescentPetals You think you saved her from the lusus-swarm, didn't you? From the toxins of the conesnails. That's what you both remember, so it must be true. The truth lies in a rainy night. In your violet-blooded friends and you going on a hunt for some fun. For whatever lowblood caught your eye. She did. Of course she did, with her shades and her warm smile. With her friends. All of them scared and trying to stand up to you. You could see the anger in your friends eyes. So when they focused on torturing the olive-blood at your hive, while their ba...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@arachnidGambler βThatβs not true,β you tell yourself. You know the cruelty living in your hands. You hate everything youβve becomeβ the shape of your name, the sound of your own thoughts. So you keep pailing with strangers, keep pretending not to care, while secretly wishing someone had loved you gently enough to stay. You wish you were good. Or at least forgivable. But nothing erases it. Not the pills, not the rope around your neck, not the trembling excuses you whisper to yourself. You think about the things pain taught you to do, and it...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@arachnidGambler You still called them your lover, even though their touch felt like fear back then. You were too young to know that love was never supposed to hurt. Maybe thatβs what happens when your first lessons came from cruelty. You pushed away the people who cared, and hated yourself for it after. Now the smoke, the bottle, the razor on your skin. None of it makes you feel clean. None of it teaches you how to be loved. You wear yourself like a wound, and people flinch when they see you. Not because you are cruel, but because pain learned h...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@damascusDoctorate The final sign of madness. I put the bottle down and I looked in the mirror. I had no idea what the balance was between being out of my mind enough not to feel what I was about to do, and being in my mind enough to do it properly. I don't think I put the lid back on, but it was empty anyway. Did I drink that much? Nevermind. I have to get this right. The open razor was just where Dad left it, shiny enough to reflect light, but not shiny enough to see my face in it properly. Good. I didn't want to. I took my glasses off, knowing the arms w...Read more