@discardedPasts β #nsfw
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@arachnidGambler βThatβs not true,β you tell yourself. You know the cruelty living in your hands. You hate everything youβve becomeβ the shape of your name, the sound of your own thoughts. So you keep pailing with strangers, keep pretending not to care, while secretly wishing someone had loved you gently enough to stay. You wish you were good. Or at least forgivable. But nothing erases it. Not the pills, not the rope around your neck, not the trembling excuses you whisper to yourself. You think about the things pain taught you to do, and it...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@arachnidGambler You still called them your lover, even though their touch felt like fear back then. You were too young to know that love was never supposed to hurt. Maybe thatβs what happens when your first lessons came from cruelty. You pushed away the people who cared, and hated yourself for it after. Now the smoke, the bottle, the razor on your skin. None of it makes you feel clean. None of it teaches you how to be loved. You wear yourself like a wound, and people flinch when they see you. Not because you are cruel, but because pain learned h...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@croesusKingpin Your ears are ringing, is that time of the day again. You can't sleep, you can't focus, you can only think about HIM get out of my head! I don't want you in my life anymore! Why can't you just leave me alone? But he persists, he smashes and twirls around every ligament you're composed of. He's like a lusus to you, akin to a teacher but what are you to him? And object to lash out on? In your adult years, you hate having to look at his portrait in your hive, you threw every picture where it was only him out and burned them, if you can't bur...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@ultracriticalBalk Your earliest memories of life were cold and harsh. You were alone, mostly. A small child grasping at leaves and twigs to bring you comfort. Your lusus wasnβt around. This made you grow cold. And harsh. Critical of everything around you. That is until they welcomed you. They fed you. Housed you. Healed you. Physically, at least. They gave you a place to stay when not even your own guardian cared to keep tabs on you. Tuhoon showed you joy. He was your first friend. You can recall playing cards with him and the one you werenβt entirely keen ...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@benignantAppertain You had taken him all the way here after a lot of hours hanging out and taking him everywhere he's always wanted to go to. It was an exceptionally beautiful night, just like him. You were really nervous about doing this, your mind was filled with doubts, what if he doesn't like me back? I'll look like a fool if so.. Hidden between the forest and the tropical bay, you guided him to a reserved and private beach where you had everything already set up. Your friends helped you come up with the idea, a nice towel with candles and a bouquet laid ...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@croesusKingpin Way back when I was 8 or 9 sweeps old. I was in love with this cobalt marineer who would come to the shores everyday to deliver food from the other side of the ocean for the tropical neighborhood consisting of olives and teals that was near me. I didn't talk to anyone but my ancestor during that time, I received my education at hive by paid teacher. But I had always wanted friends, I thought I was too old to be thinking that way anymore but there was no way around it. This marineer would park his boat next to the dock whenever I laid there nak...Read more
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@prevaricatorySimulation Remember the sound that he made when he hit the floor. Sometimes in the little hours when the sun's been up for too long, and you've eluded sleep for enough blinks to allow the delirium of sleep deprivation to set in, you can hear it when it gets too quiet. Avoiding the daymares only ever seems to be an exchange for a different collection of psychological dangers. The sound of the thud that his body made as it ragdolled onto the ground and spattered cobalt across the carpeting that he'd been so neurotic about keeping clean. Do...Read more