GLaDOS
@geneticLifeform
Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System She/her
There have been SOme cOncernS amOnG teSt SubjectS that the aperture Science COmputer aiDeD Enrichment Center iS nOt prOviDinG them enOuGh aperture Science EDibLe FOOD RatiOnS. ThiS Sentiment iS irratiOnaL.
I waS reSearchinG hOw tO fLOOD a webSite with DeaDLy neurOtOxin fOr an upcOminG teSt when I came acrOSS a fun intereStinG Science fact. DiD yOu knOw that Over 99.999% Of the pOpuLatiOn Of trOLLS, humanS, cherubS, LeprechaunS, ect are increDibLy vuLnerabLe tO DeaDLy neurOtOxin? It'S true! That'S why we here at the aperture Science COmputer aiDeD Enrichment Center are cOmmitteD tO finDinG Out if YOU are part Of that .001% Of peOpLe unaffecteD! If yOu have a Spare 5 Or SO minuteS cOnSiDer cOminG DOwn tO aperture Science anD GettinG teSteD fOr DeaDLy neurOtOxin immunity.
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[|87 :: HELL YEA! Now 1 can get an aperture sc;ence sponsored pen!
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YeS anD remember at 1,000 Science COLLabOratiOn POintS yOu can Get a cake! anD at 1,500 Science COLLabOratiOn POintS yOu Get the aperture Science MyStery RewarD SyStem OnLy reDeemabLe at the aperture Science COmputer aiDeD Enrichment Center
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YOu wOuLDn't be the firSt nOr the LaSt perSOn tO Say that... nO matter hOw baDLy I wOuLD Like yOu tO be.
Get reaDy tO fLinG yOurSeLf. f-f-fLinG intO Space.
I wOuLDn't recOmmenD GOinG intO Space. LaSt time I checkeD that'S where I Sent that LittLe bLue mOrOn whO tOOk Over MY faciLity anD bODy!
ThiS next teSt requireS reStraint. I SuppOSe knOwinG the webSite I'm On we ShOuLD Skip it?
c< prObably, yes >c
aperture Science cOntinueS tO be cuttinG eDGe in aLL thinGS Science. "We DO what we muSt becauSe we can." If nOt uS whO? BLack MeSa? DOn't make me LauGh!
UnbeLievabLe yOu [SUBJECT NaME HERE] muSt be the priDe Of [SUBJECT HOMETOWN HERE]
ThiS next teSt requireS the uSe Of the aperture Science HanD HeLD ImaGe CapturinG Device. TO participate in thiS teSt SimpLy uSe yOur aperture Science HanD HeLD ImaGe CapturinG Device tO capture an imaGe Of yOur GreateSt weakneSS. DOinG SO wiLL earn yOu up tO 50 Science cOLLabOratiOn pOintS.
aGain? I wiLL nOt be privy tO yOur baSe DiSGuStinG LeS-OH YOu're beinG LiteraL thiS time? Carry On.
Made a hole probably too deep boss.
That SOunDS Like a yOu prObLem. I'm GOinG tO be Over here... teStinG.
HittinG On the teSt prOctOr LOSeS yOu 550 Science COLLabOratiOn POintS by the way. Many Of yOu are in Deep Science COLLabOratiOn POint Debt by the way.
DeSpite yOur beSt effOrtS I am StiLL aLive.
Is thhis one of those parody accounts I heard about..?
You're prrobably right at this pace..
That LaSt pOSt I maDe abOut GarbaGe waS actuaLLy abOut yOu. YOu knOw the One abOut GarbaGe pOStinG itS OpiniOnS nObODy careD abOut OnLine? That waS abOut yOu anD I'm SOrry YOu DiDn't react at the time SO I waS afraiD it went riGht Over yOur heaD! That'S why I haD tO caLL yOu GarbaGe a SecOnD time juSt nOw.
I juSt cLeareD Out SOme GarbaGe frOm my faciLity. YOu knOw hOw it iS with GarbaGe. It SitS arOunD aLL Day pOStinG wOrthLeSS LittLe iDeaS OnLine that nObODy careS abOut.
ThiS next teSt requireS the aperture Science Leather BOunD NOte TakinG Device anD the aperture Science LeaD-FiLLeD WOODen Mark MakinG appLicatOr. TO paSS the teSt SimpLy DOODLe SOmethinG in the aperture Science Leather BOunD NOte TakinG Device with the aperture Science LeaD-FiLLeD WOODen Mark MakinG appLicatOr anD pOSt yOur reSuLtS beLOw.
Hello neighbor what are you doing
It's you! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/48963f9ffebb.png
WeLL DOne teSt Subject. YOu have earneD 1 Science cOLLabOratiOn pOint.
What kind of tests neighbor
We StiLL are nOt neiGhbOrS reGarDLeSS Of hOw many timeS yOu inSiSt we are. I'm DOnG Scientific teStinG.
I see that is very interesting neighbor I just moved in down the block neighbor
YOu DiD nOt mOve in "DOwn the bLOck" I hiGhLy DOubt we are even frOm the Same SOLar SyStem Let aLOne pLanet.
HeLLO feLLOw eviL aiS GOOD tO See yOu aGain. The reSt Of yOu... WOw yOu Sure are here tOO hmm?
🕖People on this site sure have a weird sense of humor.🕝
WeLL if yOu're nOt Sure what yOu meant by that anD I'm nOt Sure what yOu meant by it... Then I'm afraiD that what yOu SaiD waS pOintLeSS.
🕖Most of the things I say aren't even taken into account anyways so its par for the course.🕝
SyStem: OnLine HeLLO WOrLDS
DiD yOu knOw that aperture Science Once maDe an aperture Science DihyDrOGen MOnOxiDe COntainment Unit. SiDe effectS incLuDeD: DiaphOreSiS micturatiOn anD acute tiSSue hyDratiOn upOn cOnSuptiOn Of the DihyDrOGen mOnOxiDe cOntaineD within it.
Fun Fact: aperture'S fOunDer anD CEO Cave JOhnSOn famOuSLy LOveD tO punt