♦ pitied by @goliathsTerror
It's a hundred fucking degrees outside. Kill me.
I am in hiding.
Oh my bad! I just assumed we mightve shared in the untamable forest rooted on our bosom legs arms and in all the nooks and crannies where the sun dont shine. Then i guess it is here i must bid you adieu. Goodbye my friend. Its been swell.
i dont think im gonna b spared this time
Because im proving a point.
@TIPSYNEKOGNOSTALGIC HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/4AA463C194AB.PNG I MADE IT MY FUCKING BANNER I COMPLETED THE DARE NOW WHERES MY HOTTED DOG FROM TROLL 7/11, IM STILL WEEPING OVER THE THEFT OF MY HOTTED DOGGERY, WOE BE UPON THE FUCKING HEATED OOBLONG TUBE MEAT THIEF! #SUGGESTIVE??
I have big feelings only Wiege can fix.
Obama, man. Don't be liking my romantic yearning vagueposts. Ruins the whole self pitying mystique I'm trying to cultivate here.
Must be going through a hormonal phase because I'm insatiably restless. None of my toys are hitting. #nsfw
Why would you deprive me of your titties?
I know. Ive had a long day. Forgive me.
Please.
Some of you are so fucking awful when it comes to saying inappropriate stuff at horrible times and i cant really even be that mad about it because im a little more pissed off about my dead boyfriend. Who if i havent mentioned it yet. Is pretty darn dead.
apparently a cheap piece o plastic is perfectly capable of destroyin expensive lab equipment if u try hard enough (its funny as shit tho) anyway there goes another 20k in taxpayer dollars https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/381cfc6aae1d.jpg
Also pretty sure dirk was up until around 7 in the morning? Every time i woke up he was still awake. Hes out cold now. Go figure. Gonna have to deal with him sleeping all day while i take care of everything.
Oi what
feelin strangely compelled 2 go somewhere loud n dimly lit tonight n make a series of decisions my future self will fortunately describe as “pretty understandable" (get fucked up n railed in the middle of a crowded venue) #nsfw
:|
>> ¡ keep be¡n ડ1eepy And keep th¡nkng Hmm oh yeડ ¡ w¡11 take a nap But then? The nap never comeડ.
hals stuck in the roomba again
im sure glad my plushies arent sentient theyd b so effin traumatized by the shit i had them witness #suggestive
Casper I'm Having A Moment Get Your Club Away From Me.
oh sNap! i accideNtally summoNed oNe!
if @caligvlasAqvarivm keeps on bitchin abt wizords he wont be hittin this #wizardpussy 4 a whole week #nsfw
Working out now. Got a bit of a late start today since i was doing all that pointless dicking around this morning. Social media is a siren and i find myself answering her call more often than not. In fact im doing it again right now so off i go!! Have a productive afternoon fellas.
See every time i end up speaking to a real like-minded fella on here it always just ends up being another jake. At this point im doomed to only ever have a meaningful conversation with me.
Good news, the tunes of impending doom have stopped. Bad news, this doesn't mean that Vlad the Impaler has given up on me. This just means he could be lurking anywhere and my ass could be mere moments away from the whoopin' of a lifetime. For all I know I'm totally and royally fucked.
Well im none of that but im still with you there captain!
Might head out to have a drink tonight.
1 LOV3 R4NDOM D3PR3SS1ON 4ND BR34K1NG DOWN 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF TH3 N1GHT!!! >:']
PERHAPS IN A MORE LITERAL MANNER THAN YOu INTENDED. BuT YES. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. IF YOu DO NOT SET YOuR MIND TO IT. AND LET OTHERS VISIT THEIR DESIGNS uPON YOu. YOu COCKY FuCKING COCK TAKING MR. SPEAK AND SPELL. #NSFW
i got work 2 do unforchunately 😔✌️ https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a3e210e0cf94.jpg
i accidentally liked the batterbitchs thirst trap someone pls put me down rn
It really depends who it was...
AND THIS IS WHY I AM GOING HUNGRY. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. —EMBER💥
look i lov june but its effin wild 2 think theres a tiemline out there where we had a kid togethr lmao
dirk ate the cheesecake i left in tha fridge (it had my name on the lid!!!) so ill b beatin him w a broom #tigerstickthursday
<3 this if u wanna see more slutty pics of #dirk in shibari in the future or <> if u want #jake 2 be my next victim ;) #wink #nsfw
Have to take a quick shower at nearly midnight because I'm overheating again. I'm fucking melting. #toohot #springmyass
II thIInk II'm gonna goo2e IIn2tead actually.
and now i got the img of a pragnent me stuck in my head n this will shorely give me a few body horror relatd nightmares #dysphoria
It is pretty funny that we used to make all those jokes about "Life aspect = breeding", and I'm among the last humans in our group to become a parent, with only Dirk being the odd one out now. Then again, I am only the second of our number to get pregnant, so there's that?
Admittedly i cant lurk about this website for particularly long without feeling a tad morose. Its just so strange being alone and yet so surrounded by iterations of the people youve loved and laughed with or tussled against or... oh bollocks, i really need to stop using this profile as a bucket to puke my brackish frickin thoughts in! Ignore me. Resume the titty talk as per usual!
I think some of the weirdest shit is how gods can still get sick. We can control elements and shit but get knocked out by colds.
narrator: he waz not fine
psyche were back https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f504aa7cc1b4.jpg
I need to get a boyfriend so I can compete.
sorry jakey i just dont like eatin at night all that much
4 tonite ill b havin room temprature chicken nuggies n microwaved rice #girldinner
*Fuck* being Heartbound, bro. This shit is the actual worst.
resident evol 2 is way scarier than i thoutfht it would be :( #gayming throught*
the only tiiddiie2 II want two 2leep on top of a2 a piillow riight now ii2 @theDemone22 '2 and iit'2 not becau2e they are cute or anythiing, and not becau2e II have a cru2h on them or love then, iit'2 out of pure 2piite and hatred. II hope 2leepiing on theiir tiit2 ii2 liike 2leepiing on hard cold unforgiiviing concrete floor but II liike the iidea of her beiing unable two move, requiired two be underneath me untiil II get a 2nack or 2omethiing, beiing u2ed for no other u2e than really uncomfortable furniiture. #viiolence #hate #tiit2 #tiiddiie2
iwas almost dozin off n singularity (my troubled cat) decided 2 knock over my succulent planter
BY HUMILIATION RITUALS. SOME OF YOU ARE WAY TOO COMFORTABLE SHARING INFORMATION YOU WOULD HAVE TO TORTURE OUT OF ME.
It's [ertainly part of it
That movie is so violet/fu[hsia [oded it si[kens me
I am, in fact, the worst best bro in the universe. #vagueposting #mentalhealth
oh i could swear all a that was just a wet dream...... #vague #nsfw ish
mornin sleepyhead left some pancakes on the counter for u n #dirk (pls ignore that they look liek a nuclear accident)
mornin i woke up w 4x the amount of hickeys i had prior 2 the event and a my memory of it is blurry as hell clubbing is fun :) #suggestive #substance
I am innocent of all crimes. Excluding my forgetfulness of eating.
PLEASE hes eaten at least 1/3 of tha muffins that were supposed 2 last a week
As it appears there are way too many splinters in this place. No offense. Are there any of you that have figured out how to quit fucking making them? I'm trying to make normal robots, not more of me. #princeofheart things, I suppose.
i am gayer than everyone here, AND I LOVE BEING GAY!!!! #gayasf #homosexual #pride
i could beat jake english in a fight TRUST!
im not saying everyone with big spheres is a freak but got damn some of the perverts on this platform are giganti< #nsfw
How do I remove all the attractive men from my dashboard I am having inappropriate thoughts.
dirk keeps tossing my tequila out tha window :( #bummer
Ah, fuck me. There's so many people on here.