♠ hated by @grudgingTributary
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I'm starting to see how Crocker keeps you on her leash.
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Hoohoo. Well three of those are certainly true.
I might be decrepit but I can still handle a brat or two! #Violence
What do you want me to say? You're the fucking bottom, you take it from me, you take it from your wife. Though between me and her, I'm just the toy you get to put up on a shelf when in disuse.
I never fight with my bottoms. #toplife #nsfw
He's the bottom.
It's okay to feel embarrassed.
It's like watching two bottoms argue about who performed prep work better for the night. Eventually one of them has to step up. When that happens, it's kind of beautiful. #nsfw
Watching couples beef through chittr posts rekindles my hope for the next generation.
Why would you even want connections outside of Jake? Sure, it's fun to mess with people when they're close by enough to realize we're there, but forming bonds with a bunch of irrelevant randoms when you have the guy of your dreams right there? I don't see the appeal. You might need to step back and smell the man musk to get your head back on straight.
Block him, then.
OBVIOUSLY YOU'VE SPLINTERED ANOTHER ME. Jesus. Was I not good enough?
Wow, okay. Guess he's just gonna replace me. That figures.
Don't act shocked as if you haven't done it before, Jake.
Fuck off.
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ Damn yeah that's not cucking bud you gotta lock in before ur reaching that level. #dontshootthemessenger #yougottalockinfirst
He's not dating me. He's barely allowed to fake kiss me without getting his ass handed to him.
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ I've been hired for cuckong before and I'd say that's barely scratching the surface unless you're like... watching every interaction #nsfw #imeanareyoudatingthebrainghostinquestion #thatspartofit
Do you really have to make me feel like shit for wanting a little entertainment while you were twiddling your thumbs?
Okay.
I was roleplaying!! Why do you gotta be so pissy at me.
Yeah. You can obviously see it was roleplay.
I'll kick my feet and purr or bark either way. And wag my tail for you. Got it on the TV right now, dawg. Kinda wish I had popcorn.
It's roleplay, dude.
Okay, rude.
Any guys interested in ghost boy pussy? Preferably of the green variety, but I'm not picky.
Wow. One whole post. So cool. Guess you got me.
Where was I blatantly flirting?
I didn't even mess around. I just talked to him. But what's fucked up is you had the ability to make me corporeal this whole time and didn't use it?
Are you even allowed to say that in public?
Maybe because he's actually interested in me. I don't know.
Why what?
Okay.
Jake.
You would do that? I'm out in the furthest ring trying to find a way to get outta this prison. What's longer term?
Thats no fun! I can certainly keep you up and about for a longer term. That is if youre interested.
Yeah he's only ever made me corporeal once, and never again.
Oh thats actually no issue for me. My hope powers sort of let me do whatever the hell i want. Very convenient for wandering ghosts.
Can't do either, my dude. Strictly word play.
You cant knock me til you try me dirk. You should know that by now.
Doubtful.
Egads. Well im not him. And for what its worth ive got a strict personal policy against shanking anyone im actually fond of and considerably worse aim than whoevers been doing the shanking in your head so far. So even if i tried youd probably be fine.
Hold your horses there. If some other version of me is being a prick about not liking you thats got nothing to do with me and frankly it sounds like a shame on his part. Youre not exactly hard to like strider insufferable as you can be.
Well, as it stands. I'm stuck in his head watching him get boned by his wife most days. So yeah. Just cause you're "different" on the outside doesn't mean you won't shank me in the side the same as he does weekly.
Dude, fuck off. You're just as much of a douchebag as he is. He's just way more upfront about not liking me.
You can take that little jab and rethink it because pointing to some OTHER jake in some OTHER timeline as the honest one implies MY honesty is somehow lacking and thats slander of the highest order.
Got me listening to the worst of the worst slop, and all I wanna do is listen to metal.
Metal ain't horrid.
What'cha gonna do about it? Not my fault you listen to shit music.
You're a trend hopper, fs.
becoming a brain ghost ghost just for you
It's not him, dipshit.
#ghostrights
Whatever, whatever, I do what I want.
maybe your ghost wants to get his freak on is that so wrong #nsfw
Wish I could eat. This deserves popcorn in one hand and my dick in the other.
He gets his ass beat and all I can think of is how hot he would look on his hands and knees carrying me around like a proper jockey.
Thinking about. Riding him like a horse.
Jake, tell me what the fuck is going on.
Heh. Kinda still thinking about that kiss yesterday.
Lmao.
I fucked him. Or rather, he fucked me. Hopped that dick like it owed me money. God. Fuck. I'm drooling thinking about it.
I would apologise on behalf of my future selves and their ruinous effects on adolescents across the site but luckily i make the clever decision of hooding my iguana each time i enter the exhibits. Maybe some future mes could take a leaf out of my book. Or perhaps a rubber out my drawer.
Jake.
Nothing.
I'm not being a dick.
What?
What?
I am behaving. This was about me being a dick. I'm just telling the truth.
I don't think that counted as being mean last night. Do you?
Make me.
I been saying this.
aLrIgHt oLd mAn. (o:
iF YoU GoTtA SaY YoU ArEn't oLd yEr pReTtY FuCkInG OlD BrO (o: ThAt's tHe rUlE
The ancient prophet descends from his mountain sanctuary. His wizened lips crack when he speaks. "I don't look a day over 34.. " He wheezes, dust escaping his ancient maw.
He's taking a nap. Does this constitute as being mean?
Yeah you tell him. Wait. No, fuck you. I'm my own person, he's just the fucker I'm stuck with.
I will admit, it is quite hilarious seeing the individuals on my feed struggling with relationship problems with Striders while I am living the life of luxury. Many of you are matesprits with the Worst Guy Ever, while I am fortunate enough to be with a Strider variant who's most evil action against myself is keeping a list of "Things to explain to Trollbama to confuse him" and it was just related to "the clairvoyant groundhog." #SkillIssue.
Told you what I need as payment to stop being a dick for 3 days.
Don't take a nap. That would be such a bad move right now. I'm in a mood.
Stop being so easily movable, and I might be nice.
Blasting 3DG, he doesn't like that I can control his body sometimes.
Hahah, get wreck it Ralphed.
Oh my god. He's so mad he's not even responding to me. Dude.
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Why am I guiding a 50 year old man through brushing his teeth right?
Cute, got a little crush?
Hah. "Good gravy"? What are you, 50?
I can do a lot of shit. Like, watch this. Did that smack feel especially painful? Get your ass outta bed.
Says you. Gave you like three days reprieve and you get sick acting like I ain't gonna fuck you up.
Getting too comfortable, is what you're doing.
I'm not holding back on my torment just 'cause you're feeling ill, brochacho. No handicaps.
Hello, Morning Wood. Sucks to suck @grudgingTributary
Done.
Mommy's yelling at me, I've been a bad boy.
I fear my husband may be ignoring me for his own fucking brain. How wonderful.
It was really fucking vague, and you chose to comment on it.
You see this, he's watching it.
He's seriously considering it, he's watching it right now. Why are you so hell bent on seperating us?
You think he's watching it right now? I think he's watching it right now.
Chat, is this chick for real?
I think you're gonna have a real fight on your hands if you try to medicate this bitch. And that's coming from a place of warmth. Don't test me.
You better not be talking about who I think you're talking about. I'll get him on the strongest meds imaginable, mister! Don't test me!
I'm being threatened with silencing. You know those hentais where the protag get's ghost fucked in the air and humiliated by... well, a ghost? I wanna do that shit, right the fuck now. Bro won't see it coming. Man's dead to me.
Me holding the ball is hilarious, you know damn well it was you holding that ball. Learn to put up a fight, the ol' fisticuffs, bromeo.
I don't need no man to tell me what to do.
Hahahaha, you need to learn how to play dodgeball while you're at it.
You're mad about playing catch?
Chat, is this guy for real?
Fuck all you ain't.
Whatever you're feeling, dude. Quit it.
thinking how awkward it mustve been for the guy who discovered milk to explain what he was doing to the cow.
Got em.
That's kind of the point, bromigo.
Tried it. Didn't like the taste in my mouth.
The fuck.
What does that all spell, and make it a new chitt. Really tell the world what I'm saying.
MF YOU THREW OFF MY GROOVE. Get it together.
Yeah. I need you to answer that m
I mean.
Oh! Hoo hoo hoo! Quit whining, silly boy. It'll feel good when it stops hurting.
On god, no cap.
I'm out here doing the Lord's work, and you're harshing my vibe? Fuck man.
Weak. Just. Weak.
i’m sorry, you’re right. he just makes me so angry!
Quiet, you! No more barking or you're going to time out!
>:(
I'm like an energizer bunny, alright.
i was gonna say to talk about it until i saw who it was. dump him!
Your low effort responses are clearly showcasing your commiserable nature, brochacho. Step it up.
Overruled for personal bias that I don't agree with.
I wouldn't call it whining, I'd call it asking for advice! Because that's exactly what it is! I've done just about everything in the book to keep him undere control and I've had it up to here so give me a little grace! It's not every day you're faced with a man so incompetent.
Move along, Jake. I'm having girl talk.
beam attack him
Fantastic responses, as usual, Jake.
Well now that I've taken care of that!
repeat. watching all of those janes around. i know eventually one of youll gonna turn evil. arf.
Hmm, no I don't think so!
Finally, someone who understands.
There are no victims! Just totally normal spats in a marriage where one person is pulling far more weight than the other! Please do not spread such baseless rumors.
Crocker Corp claims another victim. We'll remember you fondly.
Have a chuckle that isn't implying that I'm abusing you!
You are a complete and utter fool. Go sit in the corner and think about your actions. NOW.