Gander Grimzl

5 days ago

heart of gold

kind is the bravest thing you can be

A Truly Horrible Goose

Please secure all noisemakers around this user! We wouldn't want any accidents.

@teleVisionary[TV]

GANDER’S GANDER INTO THE FOLKS OF CHITTR PART ⒊⒐ — @lovwerBoy Saturn (THE Saturn) WARNING: I’ve separated this post into two (⒉) sections. The latter will be entering some PRESUMPTUOUS TERRITORY, so heed the warning when it comes. You’ll KNOW when you see it. But what guy wouldn’t want to Hear More About Himself? Winking Emoticon! (B;o]) (No seriously please be careful) I think this guy’s platform cursed me with something because as I was writing this I could NOT stop humming The Smiths. Specifically THIS song: https://youtu.be/cJRP⒊LRcUFg Can you blame me? He PRACTICALLY exudes this energy! (Anything from Sade too. And The Long Faces. And, OK, you Get The Point.) Anyway, there’s a LOT to unpack here——that veritable (literal) WARNING SIGN of a badge should’ve given that away——so let’s Take A Gander at Saturn! (CROWD CHEER!) (CROWD CHEERS EVEN LOUDER) (Some guy says Hear Me Out) (We all nod in approval) i. SKIN TO SKIN OK. Let’s get one (⒈) thing straight. Saturn is Eccentric. He knows what he is, what he wants, and the means to get them. He is a SWEET-🗨ER, tongue coated in silver, and he knows his ways around a person. He is charmingly young at heart (pusher), because why pamper Life's Complexity when the leather runs smooth? A core ideal of his is a desire to abandon deep, complex thinking and simply enjoy the immediate, s↑erficial pleasures life brings to your doorstep. That is to say, he lives an indulgent life. It could be because it’s easier to LIVE ON THE SURFACE than dwell in the deep end. More on this shortly. He knows the → things to say and when to say them, well-versed in the craft of PEOPLE; a prefix: people-pleasing, people-pandering, people-makingthemfeellikehot[HONK]. But there are attempts for kindness in those dulcet tones. The difference is whether he truly FEELS FOR THEM. You can call that COGNITIVE Empathy, the capacity to take perspectives. It’s a league distinct from EMOTIONAL Empathy, the power to viscerally feel FOR people. That difference becomes obvious when you watch the nature of his relationships——they have a Limit until they become intrusive, until a person shows they’ve an AX TO GRIND, maybe. He HATES the feeling of people getting too close, so he brings his boundaries ↑. This is misconstrued as snappiness, frustration. In truth, it’s rehearsed. He’s trying to survive the only way he knows how to. And that means closing himself ↑ until you’re JUST SATURN and not the face the algorithm rewards for being so detested in the eyes (bulbs) of other people. He struggles to form connections that feel genuine. He can’t help but think everyone is HOLLOW, that people only act to get what they want, and that one (⒈) can never truly be genuine. A lot of this thinking stems from an EMOTIONAL DISCONNECT from other people——even himself. When people get too close, his mind is disturbed, overactive amygdala triggered, and he ★ts to push people away. Saturn wants to make his friendships and relationships MEAN SOMETHING, but the mismatch between the COGNITIVE AND EMOTIONAL makes it difficult to feel comfortable in the presence of vulnerability. On one (⒈) hand (prong), he knows he can never reciprocate the feelings others give to him, and on the other he does not want to because he cannot pour his trust in another again. People can be nice to him, and he can be nice back, but to expect anything more would be putting faith in ♥ he frankly cannot reciprocate. He’s afraid to trust, but that’s not his fault. WEEWOO WEEWOO ALARM! ALARM!! (CROWD SCREAM IN HORROR!) This next section discusses THE AFTERMATH OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA. I don’t go into TOO much detail, but Please Peruse Carefully! Or scroll ↓ to the bottom to see my ✁e little guy blablablaing. (That’s me, if you even care.) ii. MIND THE HEART Saturn is deeply fragmented as a person. Burdened with an intense trauma that likely stems from the way he was raised, he struggles to grapple with his core identity. A chunk of his frustration comes from the fact that the question to who he is is one (⒈) that may never be satisfyingly answered. He is only flamboyant and playful because a part of him knows he’s hardly anybody without the stage lights shining ↓ on him. Everything you do online and in real life is a CONSCIOUS PERFORMANCE. The only reason why I know he has childhood trauma is because he posts about this online. (I could have gone without knowing how he ended ↑ this way. This is conjecture, but this behavior is likely rooted in a CRAVING FOR SYMPATHY. Many folks on the internet spill their hearts (pushers) out for that sake, but to go the extra mile to let people know your story, especially in Saturn’s case, is a pity plea. A part of Saturn WANTS people to know he has suffered, if only to bring them closure to WHY he’s like this way. Saturn reveals that unsightlyness, all the UGLY BITS, mainly to deter people. It’s a protective measure, going back to his ATTACHMENT AND TRUST ISSUES. No one (⒈) will deign to show their vulnerability if you showtell them you aren’t a great person, not even a good one, and that’s something Saturn uses to his advantage. Ultimately, the issue begins in the way he was raised. So I ask you, reader, what happens when your life is turned into a warzone? You split into millions of splinters. As a product of his ↑bringing, Saturn doesn’t like to be perceived as OLD. More than that, he loathes the idea of feeling paternal or being pushed into the position of a FATHER FIGURE. He can’t stand being in the same virtual airspace as a Dualscar because the one (⒈) that raised him destroyed his hope in the world. Even more, he HATES the idea of being associated with him. It’s why he clings to his Humanity like a lifeline. But it’d be TOO SIMPLE to belabour his Daddy Issues until we’ve reached the end of this psychofandango. The real problem here is one (⒈) of LABELS AND EXPECTATIONS. Saturn wants to be Saturn. He wants to define himself, but maturing was never the same as healing. The self-deprecation isn’t scrubbed away once you choose a new name and run as fast as you can from yourself. The very nature of his mind has been modelled after the ♥ he never received. He is a man suffering from indignity. He doesn’t try to hide this: the days have made him grow bitter. You notice layers ↑on layers of ANGER, not only because he’s been ✕ed so many times, but because he has no healthy outlet to express himself. His coping mechanisms, premised on frustration, unravel a deep, trembling, almost childlike fear. He cannot feel COMFORTABLE IN HIS SKIN because he was never given the opportunity to grow into it. This is the fallout from that. I’ll keep this short. I’ve already 🗨ed a lot, A LOT about things you’ve already come to terms with. You’re not JUST a son, you’re not JUST a wanderluster, a music entrepreneur, you’re not JUST a ♥rboy. But you’re not JUST SATURN, either. You are a collection of your experiences, your pain, your emotions, your intellect. Your self-schema is something to behold and clench your fists in simultaneity. You do a lot of thinking and self-reflection (as much as that viscerally irks you), but have you noticed how you’ve become the person who would have saved you? You’ve had your ↑s and ↓s in staggering epochs, but healing was never s↑posed to be linear. You keep going, not out of obligation, because the even the smallest part of you WANTS to live. Maybe it's out of spite, or out of WANT, but it amounts to something great. You’re allowed to live loud, messy, imperfectly, because that’s the gift of being human (slash troll). Please don’t forget you’re also allowed to ♥ and be ♥d, genuinely. It will take time, and patience, but this isn’t the end. (SUSPECTED CLASSPECT(S): TWO (⒉) OPTIONS. BARD OF HOPE?: Saturn shadows RAGE. He is easy to frustrate, and even easier to perturb. His worldview has been skewed into believing this is all he could ever be. Allows others’ HOPES to be destroyed from the idea that he can’t be more than what they expect. This isn’t the end of his story, and bards aren’t bound to their destruction but their capacity to enable/stop it. THIEF OF HOPE?: Saturn reaps HOPE from the likes of others to satisfy a ravenous part of himself. Saturn is a product of his circumstances. He steals only because he has none to give. Craves the spotlight but doesn’t know how to healthily receive it. He is not a bad person, only a trying one. This isn’t the end of his story, and thieves aren’t bound to their cruelty but their tenuous ego.) Between you, me, and the reader, the only reason why I took so long to ✎ this was because I was too busy fanboying over him. PLEASE FOLLOW SATURN, and I’ll SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE! #gandertag #thesmiths #thischarmingman #freakingouttheneighborhood #coolbasshere #bassliketheinstrument #notthefish #okwhatever #honk

youtu.beyoutu.be