♦ pitied by @sunflowerGardens
I do know. I will make it up to you.
It's like a winged squirrel rabbit with fangs. My fangs can retract and extrude at will, that part's pretty cool. I almost look intimidating when I'm mad. I've got a long tail with a cotton puff at the end, too. I've tripped on it approximately 97 times. The wings? Do nothing. Make shirts annoying and flap. I'm not sure what this anon was trying to accomplish. But the ears are cute. I don't hate it. I just question why. I've learned to live with it, the annoyance is part of life. I prefer being unique here for an actual reason, rather than just because I'm human and no one else is.
That would be too easy. The anons prefer suffering. Though, I'm rather grateful I'm not hit by the urge to... multiply. As rabbits do.
It's okay Pistachio (my rabbit), she didn't mean it. Let me just cover your ears and- Fruit bat it is.
Id be a little freaked 0ut if i went t0 mcmagg0ts and the grub nuggets tried t0 jump 0ut 0f the b0x and int0 my m0uth
@tipsyGlamour @packageHandler @emptyEyes @sunflowerGardens 8=l < A reply to each w001d not suffice so to all of you I give a collective 8//x < AAAAAAAHH
Bone deep exhausting the likes of which I have never felt I'll have to ask the others if this is what the call to torpor was like
I'm on #substance #violence smoko because I'm trying to have a break and these fucking. PALADINS. Are attacking me.
NOT A BIG FAN OF THE PALADINS. NOT A BIG FAN.
I mean once in a while, maybe. Also like. I guarantee if you ask on here like four people will leap at the opportunity to feed you.
How do we tell some folks that pity reacts are not like, life-ending. I’m trying to figure out how to do it in a way that soothes their egos and reaches their thinkpans.
Voltage related muscle spasms tricked it into thinking it needs to do a job it'll settle down #suggestive
8=l < While I prefer intelligent animals, there is something highly charming about a stupid cat 8=l < I must a% 8=l < Is he orange
Not right now I'm just really upset and not thinking clearly Can I come get fur on your dress
Apparently I'm "bad for the brand" though so maybe you SHOULD
oh, no, beforan culling is very dyfferent. i was raised by a noble blue blood who looked after me as i was determyned to be unable to do so myself as wyll as being inappropriate for the brooding caverns!
"Velvet you say you're a trained a lot of things" yeah I'm old and I have been surviving off a post-war gig economy for like 1,200 years It's called having a diverse portfolio try and put a badge on THAT (don't actually the badges scare me and I don't understand them)
I guess I DID kind of take a day and a half off.
Oh. Yes, of course. I'll get right to work
8=l < You honor me with your thoughtfulness 8=l < I'll need the back support one 8=l < My unguligrade prostheti% are currently not in my possession 8=l < I have others but they're not as nice
Okay. As long as you will be alright. And if you need anything, you can text me, okay?
Can I fret a little? As a treat?
I think I understand this sentiment, and so I will not press the issue- the offer is open, though.
Hm. I hope it is nothing particularly unpleasant. I would attend you during, if you thought that would provide any comfort or assistance
Hey, only one way to make eternity bearable and that’s cooperation.
Oh that sounds really nice. Navigating your traps, too.
I ran out.
There's something uniquely freeing about knowing from the moment of your birth that you're a monster and there will never be a version of you that can be called good without there having to be nuance surrounding that label Due to traits you cannot change It really frees you up to like just sort of accept yourself and your ugliness If you're not planning on going to heaven, go to Mir and all that
Longass sentence to say I'm feeling evil again
I'm awake. I am going to feed Cheese Onion and make breakfasts, and then? You guessed it. Chore time. I will be done nice and early this time, I believe.
Honestly there is a criminal lack of commitment to the bit around here.
Get me a guy who activates my prey drive I guess
You deserve to show them tf up
And I had to just stumble on this one out in the wild
Looks like you have a couple rooms to set up. :p
yeah, that tracks. still, it is kind of hard to watch.
They're not like. Very good at this, are they?
I am a _little_ mad at you for introducing me to them, but I will get over it. Thanks for sharing :P
Okay. I have had pastry time. These would in fact get me to go to church.
:?
:33 < whats the diffurence?
:33 < i wish i had a maid dress. i'd look hella cute in it.
Event for me where I run around this castle like it's Scooby Doo while the vampires try and hunt me down
I don't know they're not vampire friendly you go in and tell me
See I keep telling him this and I think it just makes him want to lurder me even more
I was NOT in fact hired to get fucked by my boss, I was hired to get MURDERED by my boss if he can ever confirm my incredibly obvious secret he definitely already suspects #nsfw
Well I finished the chores Aurelia monitors, time to be on a smoke break until further notice/Lucian figures out where I am #substances
...I simply CANNOT help myself though
...noted. thank you!
Double bye since Aurelia is here and will probably shorten my fruit preserves snack time if I don't get to it immediately
I can stomach that, I think, if you will continue to ply me with snacks and companionship
"The house with the worst reputation" man for what exactly trying to take over the world everyone does that
I just figured it would be nice to share. I'll be hard at work again today, but just let me know when it is mealtime, I'll be there shortly.
Silly cartoon sneaking music as I loom over you like one of those feratus
...I'm totally going to have a footrace with Magnum later.
OW. HE BIT ME AND THEN I SWEAR HE FUCKING LAUGHED ABOUT IT. ... I like this guy. #horses
Oh, on some don't mind if I do type shit.
Hey, it's my job, isn't it? :P
Oh, if it would be of help, yeah, okay. I'll take Magnum into town. You can continue to tend to Cheese Onion a while longer!
hm. Maybe I will open up a hyperbeam so you can all sit with me and listen to music and stuff while I finish up my list. I am gonna head off to market soon, and I guess that I will run instead of fly or teleport.
apple fries is a good cat name too
Okay, well. I guess you're trapped. I'll get to work on meals in a moment, so enjoy your cat snuggles.
Yeah she's biting me. Aaaaaa. The consequences of my actions.
Oh fuck I am under attack by a vampire
It looked like it was struck by a METEOR IN THERE I had to FIX THE CEILING
:(
Aurelia just comes and hands me a list when I get up, and then if I need more tasks I just follow her and start doing whatever she's doing
oka7 well i was just making a dumb joke about maid and made being homophones but uh if 7ou want a badge made, 7ou mainl7 just get an image and ask @imjunior. there’s a queue, i think, but not reall7 an7 requirements be7ond an image, a title, and a des(ription
I’ve got the garden and the animals, as always. I think Lucian mentioned we’re doing a church raid later but I can get this shit done first xoxo
D --> What a wonderful thing that would be
D --> I wish it was #maidmonday again
!!!! Practice on me I mean with me I mean
This would work on me
Can I help with anything else? I'm not really gonna sleep during this nap, so...
The orb????
:)!!!!
Close but not quite what I waaant. Also I'm just a guest here, it isn't my castle
Okay, I'm done working for the day and am going to have a nap in this flower bed now.
Also if I had a castle it would have a beam attack for sure
Aurelia I just hate this thing can we talk some kind of bed
I had to try and get up without waking up Chao to deal with the Paladin and I slipped and elbowed him the throat...
Fury is being a bitch about her stupid trail ride for her stupid health do you want to leave the pasture or not
I'm starting to think I was right and coffins are stupid and Lucian's stupid for making me have one
Soliciting the internet for sparring partners because I spent all that time building a covered duelling arena and I don't want to only use it with Luci
All the more reason to discard your names regularly yikes
Then you'll get on great I'll see what I can do
Shall I make a formal introduction as the closest thing we have to a Lady of the House
My mother kind of fucking obviously didn't actually name me Velvet Now given my mom didn't actually want to name me at all but my papa didn't name me Velvet EITHER Names are fake they're cute little labels we stick on shit much bigger than our bones and you can should and must discard them when they don't fit anymore
God I am whatever the opposite of a bull is I see a blue boy and it's like a cat spotting a mouse I guess
Now, not to be indelicate, but I think some of the people on my feed would look real nice in the palace dungeon with the other bitches we keep on tap Maybe we should open applications for that, too #vagueposting
D --> Mine
If the invention of the firearm couldn't make me shut the fuck up +5 Kull Score won't do it
Oh, bother. I hope you have time to practice!
Yeah, it's a whole mess. I'm just glad I didn't turn myself.
Wild, that's... around here if you can't turn into /something/ that can fly there's something seriously wrong with you Glad they're doing better at least, damn
Different type of vampire. They just ended up with more bat like-like hands and I think wings. And the common stuff like strength speed and fast healing with blood consumption I think. I dunno. They were an idiot and turned their sister who in turn was a wild fledgling who tried to tear my throat out, but. I think they're all doing better now. #violence
D --> They were invited to tea by their friend D --> Who proceeded to put cuffs on them that negated their powers D --> Cuffs I D --> D --> I destroyed them the moment I saw them on her
I don't think turning into a bat was on their skillset, their captors had sanctified or silver equipment. Likely starved by the time we got to them but we were able to kick ass and get them out of there.
D --> D --> I have
I've seen it happen before. Granted this was a young hotshot vampire but they certainly got snatched and we had to save them.
Step two is figuring out how to post a picture I took with a camera to this stupid site Devil in hell if you answer endling prayers... https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a0f46ab90276.png
Cheese Onion should have a beam attack.
Why do I have Cherry Pie by Warrant stuck in my head???
Okay upon arriving at the cabin he needs some time to rest up so I guess I'm laying in his lap and texting still lol Boys are so funny that way
Chao is still not done his fucking chores I am so annoyed about it
There is not however a soul under there I misplaced that at some point (my birth)
Idk I've done some shit but in the end you have to find a way to live with yourself even if you can't live with anyone else Wherever you go there you are you gotta forgive yourself and find a way to become someone you don't feel the need to apologize for being
I just start going in everyone's ask boxes and start interrogating their opinions on at what point does someone no longer have the right to attempt to become a less harmful individual and then when they answer I ask if their answer changes if some of their harmful traits can never in fact be changed
D --> I'm afraid not D --> It was merely an outfit for a party D --> It lacks the protective spells entwined into my normal gear
D --> Haha D --> Unfortunately it is not especially practical for my specific work
1 cont1nue to dodge the ma1d dress sh1t l1ke a pro. that sh1t 1s not happen1ng lol
I feel like "members of our rival House may show up and try and kill you" should be in the waiver
I've got uhhhh Bridle The Wind day that still wigs me out tbh
I was not going to answer when I didn't know for sure Also don't act like you're innocent I know you did NOT need to be that thorough in your "measurements" last month
print("in that case i apologise for my ignorance") print("i will try to be more learned on topics like this soon")
print("surely at that point would it not be more beneficial to have the uniform like… de-emphasise them") print("i mean they could be distracting for customers or something")
Exactly, platonic ideal of a shirt for me And ever since we altered the new version to accommodate spiral lacing it's been comfy as hell
I loveeee that thing it makes me feel so hot and evil
I'm no longer trying to kill him also I've grown as a person
A fun Velvet fact is the only reason our place of employment has uniforms is because I thought the boss was clocking that I was planning to kill him so when he went out for the day I asked Aurelia to design and create specialized fits in House Dracula colours for everyone tailored to their jobs and personal sensibilities Without asking or consulting him He just came home to his castle and found out that we had uniforms now and it was my idea As a bizarro mindgame This was 300 years ago
You can tell I like her because I let her put me in a uniform
I should start Lucianposting on main I think everyone would understand my mental illness if they saw my boss
Maybe I'm just annoyed nobody ever has a henchwoman kink Aurelia gets all the fun #nsfw
Actually yk what I'll keep swinging I think if you can't get down with an actual practical house staff uniform it's not actually a thing for maids it's a thing for skimpy servitude and that's fine but you gotta admit that to yourself if you wanna be taken seriously I have not seen a single full length skirt outside of the one Aurelia put me in this evening and I think that's cowardice #nsfw #mildly
D --> Of course. Yes. I just don't want it to be perceived that I may begin to hold a 'negative connotation' of this work. It is a commendable position, something worth a lot of respect
D --> I am not a hypocrite D --> It is almost the same as how despite my adoration of horses D --> I am not deserving or befitting of being one
D --> Regretfully as much as I respect maids and butlers, I am not the type to don the outfit myself D --> I hope this is understandable
D --> ..Sorry
I think maids are probably only blanket statement sexy until you live somewhere that actually has one and it's not a kink thing Especially if you let her boss you around now it's just a lady in a dress and she's hot on her own merits completely divorced from the dress Also to swing at the hornet's nest the traditional actual dresses are better #nsfw
Remember how I said I look stupid in skirts Maybe I don't want that out here on the internet
Deeply unfair something so good is so bad for me
Ugh yes and it burns my mouth but they're also so fucking yummy Forbidden sweet and spicy treat
Ugh. This sucks.
Sigh
I want to remind you of how often I have to fix or replace my hunting clothes
Hey man nice to meet you what's your take on this please help me free my thread from whatever this is (I will ask about the blood thing at a later date because I don't understand that either)
He barely pays attention to this shit as is he’s too busy with the schemes
She’s got that going on with Kris I think so I guess I gotta play the field online like a nerd
Accidentally starting an argument on the internet aside that was informative I can't even pretend Aurelia was wrong about calling me a "pale slut" now that I understand the term, SIGHS I guess I do keep saying I could always be sluttier
They really are what the fuck is up with that actually I've had better help when the bossman says I'm taking too long and makes the skeletons help Maybe we need to hire another necromancer
I resent the implication I have previously started a war
What you don't like Nepeta? You don't think you would like hanging out with Nepeta?????
I feel like Nepeta would make a great Dracula this website is turning into a recruitment drive for me
What divorce my ass is NOT married to Lucian even if he sometimes makes unsettling jokes
You know I don't think someone with tits this nice should have to do her job (image here of me covered in mud and blood from doing my stupid fucking job)
:33 < quit mewr job!! :33 < live with me in the woods and be my vampire wife!! :33 < we can hunt and kill togefurr!!
I do fight Miss Velvet often. We could spar if you wanted, too. If it will cause you trouble or issue or anything, that is the furthest from what I want and I will put the idea to bed.
...I'm not interested in a fight for that sake, but for the sake of fighting itself. Also my pitch quad is taken elsewhere.
Probably not. Just something to pass the time.
Man I should ask Luci for a raise if I'm adding professional plumber to my list of things I'm qualified to do actually
Yeah, I just was not really anticipating being depicted in any sort of story and it did not really make me most pleased. I appreciate your understanding.
Indeterminate.
No idea. And no.
.sorry, the vampires are at least a LITTLE my fault
WASN'T JUST A WINDMILL BTW Because Lucian caught me and said "while you're doing stonemasonry" and uh now we have an actual duelling arena