As nonhumans, nontrolls, noncarapacians, and nonconsorts are ineligible for Employee of the Month, April's award goes to Sparkles the Salamander from Legal. Be sure to subscribe at plushrump.com.
You are such a fucking asshole, it’s almost funny.
↗️NO, I AM REALLY HAPPY FOR SPARKLES. IT IS, LIKE, THEY HAVE WORKED FOR AND ALSO EARNED THAT ROLE.↗️ ↘️that position.↘️ ↗️THAT TITLE.↗️ ↘️i am so glad your alternian employees are not eligible for the reward.↘️ ↗️I WOULD NOT EVEN WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED.↗️ ↘️it is okay.↘️ ↗️DID YOU THINK OF ME WHEN YOU PULLED HIS NAME FROM THE RAFFLE, AT LEAST.↗️ ↘️do not answer that question.↘️ ↗️I AM OVERJOYED FOR SPARKLES.↗️
If I was capable of feeling anything other than simulated customer service placidity, I might be pissed.
If you'll reread carefully, you'll realize that the only ones excluded from consideration are artificial intelligences. Wipe the carpet lint from your glasses and lock the fuck in, and you might just be able to dethrone dear Sparkles next month. BTW, still waiting on those forms to be filed.
↘️please re-email the forms to me at gratuitousAnnuity@goregle.com and i will fill them out within minutes if not seconds.↘️
Getting word now that there’s an urgent matter on the roof you need to attend to. Something about an elaborate ritual #suicide being the only way to restore your tarnished honor?