Gander Grimzl

1 week ago

@teleVisionary[TV]

GANDER’S GANDER INTO THE FOLKS OF CHITTR PART ⒍ — @naughtyTechnician Kryqus Xyllem PERVERT ALERT: I am no lewd boomer, but there is some CRUDE HUMOR in this one. These jests are prefaced with the good old #nsfw tag. Take care of yourselves, gamers. I am not even joking folks, I was ★ing at this fellow’s profile picture for a perspiringly hot but INDETERMINATE NUMBER OF MINUTES. But THEY were looking at me first, OKAY? Don’t get your skimpy garments in a TWIST, PAL. If you were in my shoes, you would be walking ALL THE MILES to the train of thought, just to HITCH A RIDE to the burning question: “IF MY SPHERES WERE THAT LARGE, WHICH SLEEPING POSITION WOULD I TAKE?” (For reputational reasons this is a joke.) Anyway, come see some one-sided banter as I Take A Gander into Kryqus Xyllem’s crypt of commentary! OH-KAY. You won’t believe this, but this guy is actually FUNNY. He made me laugh multiple times during my SCRUTINERUSAL. Shameless humor is what drives this highblood’s limbersine. This isn’t particularly groundbreaking in the Internet world, but there’s a sort of RECKLESS ABANDON that separates the way he types from your average inebriated drunkard. HIGHLARIOUS! What ALSO makes Kryqus a little different from the rest of us is that his personal account proxies most if not all the intrusive thoughts he seems to have. It’s like if you took your average Chittr account, PLUGGED it to your pan for efficiency, then set the post settings to EXTRA SENSITIVE. Whatever’s typed from his fingers is a personal [HONK] YOU to anyone with a working pair of bulbs. (One happening and now he’s Trollbama’s ← pinky like he's a part of the WHITE HIVE MEGAZORD. Good for him and all, but some of his posts make me wonder what Troll Obama wanted to do with the opinions of a metaphorically erect bulge.) Of all the high-profile public affronts this troll has made, this is PROBABLY my favorite: “If yoou doon't droop yoour quirk when making an anoonymoous coonfessioon WHAT are yoou dooing” (So. DAMN. REAL. I mean, do you WANT to be anonymous or are you testing to see how many people know you? GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!) Unfortunately, there is a cap to humor. Too little of it and you’re writing a long-winded sermon. Too much of it and now NO ONE CAN TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY. Kryqus is a prime example of the latter. There’s no TIME to enjoy a party when it envelops every single breath you take! But you have to wonder: When slop is all one can produce, what are we meant to appreciate? We aren’t barkbeasts scarfing ↓ the same block of kibble. The bar is low, but there’s a part of you that wants to limbo below it anyway. How Low Can You Go: Pro Edition? But there’s also the knowledge that you are unabashedly proud of the art you make, and that in itself is something these hands can’t rip from you. In that case, keep horsin’ around, friend. Your wavelength is an untamed beast of its own. (SUSPECTED CLA-S-SPECT: BARD OF TIME?) Be sure to give this unsaddled user a follow, and send a message if you would like to be Peeped At! (Also shout out to Zebradad. Coolest lusus on Chittr.)