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John Lalonde

@tendonTrickster

he/him. jokester. opinions are my own. you block me=i win. mage of breath. (PFP by @golgothasTerror9084.)

Blood: AnonymousKult Score: 218Kull Score: 2826 followers13 following
PINNED CHITT

(#violence) Your name is JOHN LALONDE. As previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of attempts at cakes are scattered around your room. You'll get there eventually. You have a variety of other interests that you are ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT. You like to perform MAGIC ACTS befitting of a WIZENED SAGE OF THE MYSTICAL ARTS. You often say you are such a skilled magician that you even made your FATHER DISAPPEAR. That is one of your favorites in your arsenal of MORBID and SELF-DEPRECATING JOKES. It is a great point of pride. Making fun of yourself can elevate any conversation, especially on those rare but ever-so-special moments when your humor makes people KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE. Then you have EVEN MORE ANGST to turn into comedy. It is a cycle that CANNOT POSSIBLY BACKFIRE. You also like to entertain yourself with INTERNET VIDEOS of GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE. It makes you think about how, in such a heinous and tense situation, you would simply NOT GET KILLED. For instance, if a cartel wanted to behead you, you would fend them off, starting by throwing your collection of METAL WATER BOTTLES in IRONICALLY BRIGHT COLORS. (Because you are screaming along to EVANESCENCE SONGS so often. One benefit of your mother's aloofness is that you can be as loud as you want and she does not care.) What will you do? (https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6c37de14df84.png Sprite made using FarragoFiction's Homestuck Doll Maker.)

@grimbarkGuardian if you are in need of an outlet for your undelightful urges, i have some videos that might help you manage! >:B

when i'm happy i say: bitches love my hot topic swag and self-aware mockery. when i'm sad i say: this time i'm really gonna do.it. #suicide

Kult: +12
Total: 12

(OOC: tagging for #suicide mention) every time someone hates one of my chitts i look fondly at my closet. it'll be your fault you fucking philistines. and my ghost will look up at you and laugh and laugh. lmao.

i should write some kind of poem about my tortured existence. like sylvia plath! she was so cool.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

dude. bro. etc. i have just found this sweet vid. the blurry camera, the scream when he falls. a true classic lmao.

Kult: +10
Total: 10
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A user of established repute
@deathlessDeadwood[DD]

there is no ♯freedom as ♯sweet as knowing that you are ♯terrible & ♯accepting it

Kult: +10
Total: 10

(#violence) Your name is JOHN LALONDE. As previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of attempts at cakes are scattered around your room. You'll get there eventually. You have a variety of other interests that you are ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT. You like to perform MAGIC ACTS befitting of a WIZENED SAGE OF THE MYSTICAL ARTS. You often say you are such a skilled magician that you even made your FATHER DISAPPEAR. That is one of your favorites in your arsenal of MORBID and SELF-DEPRECATING JOKES. It is a great point of pride. Making fun of yourself can elevate any conversation, especially on those rare but ever-so-special moments when your humor makes people KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE. Then you have EVEN MORE ANGST to turn into comedy. It is a cycle that CANNOT POSSIBLY BACKFIRE. You also like to entertain yourself with INTERNET VIDEOS of GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE. It makes you think about how, in such a heinous and tense situation, you would simply NOT GET KILLED. For instance, if a cartel wanted to behead you, you would fend them off, starting by throwing your collection of METAL WATER BOTTLES in IRONICALLY BRIGHT COLORS. (Because you are screaming along to EVANESCENCE SONGS so often. One benefit of your mother's aloofness is that you can be as loud as you want and she does not care.) What will you do? (https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6c37de14df84.png Sprite made using FarragoFiction's Homestuck Doll Maker.)

Kult: +15
Total: 15