KARKAT VANTAS

1 week ago

@carcinoGeneticist[CG]

THE DARK CRYSTAL REVIEW IS UP NOW FOR ALL OF YOU EAGERLY AWAITING IT. READ BELOW, DUH. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK POSSESSED ME TO WATCH THIS, HONESTLY. THIS ISN’T THE TYPE OF MOVIE THAT PIQUES MY INTEREST AT ALL, BUT I SAW IT IN MY RECOMMENDED TITLES LIST AND DECIDED, “FUCK IT, THIS WILL BE INTERESTING”, BECAUSE I’M A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT. AS I PRESSED PLAY AND WAS READING @BRAINGHOSTDIRK ’S PRAISES, I WAS THINKING TO MYSELF THIS’LL BE RICH, THE GUY WHO GLAZES JIGSAW LOOOOOVES THIS THING, SO I JUST ABOUT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. BUT, TO MY COMPLETE AND UTTER CONSTERNATION, IT ACTUALLY… WAS INSANELY GOOD. NO BEATING AROUND THE BUSH ON THAT ONE. MY LOOKSTUBS WERE GLUED TO THAT TELEVISION THE WHOLE TIME. ENOUGH OF THE COMMENDATORY PREAMBLE, THOUGH. I WANNA GET INTO THE REAL BUSINESS OF *WHY* THIS FILM WAS SO EFFECTIVE. THE INNATE SPIRITUALITY THAT THE ENTIRE FILM IS LACED WITH IS PALPABLE. WE ENTER TO A DIVIDED, DISMAL KINGDOM IN SHAMBLES, WITH TWO APPARENT RACES, THE SKEKSIS AND THE MYSTICS, OR URUS. THE MOVIE GIVES YOU HINTS ALONG THE WAY THAT BOTH THE SKEKSIS AND THE MYSTICS ARE TIED TO EACH OTHER, THE MOST OBVIOUS OF THESE BEING THAT WHEN ONE MEMBER OF ONE GROUP DIES, AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE MEMBER OF THE OTHER GROUP DIES ALONG WITH IT. THAT CONCEPT WILL TIE BACK IN LATER, SO KEEP THAT IN YOUR THINKPAN, USE ALL OF YOUR SPONGECELLS, I KNOW YOU’RE CAPABLE IF YOU’VE READ THIS FAR. OR, I AT LEAST HOPE. IN ORDER TO NEGATE THE PROPHECY NARRATED AT THE BEGINNING— A GELFLING RESTORING THE CRYSTAL FROM ITS SHATTERED STATE TO BRING UNION TO THRAW AND OVERTHROW THE SKEKSIS— THE SKEKSIS, WHO HAVE SOMEHOW GAINED CONTROL OF THE SHATTERED CRYSTAL, KILL EVERY SINGLE GELFLING IN EXISTENCE. OR SO THEY THINK; TWO GELFLINGS STILL EXIST, AND THOSE ARE OUR PROTAGS, JEN AND KIRA. SO BLAH BLAH, THEY GO ON A GRAND PIGLRIMAGE TO THE SKEKSIS CASTLE AND FULFIL SAID PROPHECY. I DON’T NEED TO SPELL IT ALL OUT FOR YOU. BUT THE THING THAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION THE MOST WAS THE OUTCOME OF REINSTATING THE CRYSTAL TO ITS FULL GLORY. INSTEAD OF DEFEATING THE SKEKSIS LIKE I WOULD HAVE ASSUMED THE PLOT WAS HEADING, THEY *MERGE* WITH THE URUS WHO HAVE SAUNTERED IN LIKE SMUG MOTHERFUCKERS, CREATING NEW BEINGS CALLED URSKEKS. THEY ARE BEINGS MADE UP OF AN AMALGAMATION OF HALF DARK ENERGY AND HALF LIGHT, CREATING A WHOLE GODLIKE ENTITY OF PEACE. I WAS CURIOUS AS TO WHY THIS DECISION WAS MADE, BECAUSE IT HONESTLY WAS A GREAT ONE, AND APPARENTLY JIM HENSON GETS A LITTLE WOO-WOO WITH IT. IT’S BASED ON THE PRINCIPLE THAT LIGHT ENERGY ALWAYS MUST BE BALANCED WITH THE DARKNESS, AND ONLY BY BALANCING THE TWO TOGETHER CAN ONE CREATE THE ULTIMATE HARMONY. AND ISN’T THAT A BIT CAPTIVATING? EVEN JUST A LITTLE ARRESTING TO THE LOBE STEM? SURE, IT’S NOT THE MOST REVOLUTIONARY CONCEPT. I KNOW, YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME. BUT I RESONATED WITH THE FACT THAT SOMETIMES THE LIGHT JUST ISN’T ENOUGH. THERE ARE A LOT OF TIMES WHERE THE DARK HAS PROVEN ABUNDANT AND JUST AS USEFUL. AND IT’S NOT JUST THE URSKEKS THAT FOLLOW THIS PRINCIPLE; ALL OF THRAW, KIRA AND JEN INCLUDED, SEEM TO BE BUYING A TICKET TO RIDE ON THIS TRAIN OF DUALITY AND EVENTUAL UNITY. THE WEAVING OF SPIRITUALITY AND CONTINUATION OF CYCLES COMBINED WITH THE PUPPETRY (WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS CREEPY AND AN INCREDIBLE DISPLAY OF CRAFTSMANSHIP) GAVE ME WEIRD FREAKY DREAMNIGHTMARES. I CAN’T FULLY SAY THEY WERE *BAD* PER SE, JUST. ODD. I KEPT SEEING THAT FUCKING OLD SKEKSI ON HIS DEATHBED LOOKING LIKE A PETRIFIED CALIFORNIA RAISIN. ALL IN ALL, REALLY SOLID FILM, I WISH I’D SEEN IT SOONER. MAYBE I’LL WATCH MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN AS A JIM HENSON REFRESHER COURSE, THOUGH. THAT’S A LITTLE LESS MACABRE. ALSO, I DO *NOT* FUCKING LOOK LIKE FIZZGIG. FUCK YOU. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/4CF25D60D670.JPEG