KARKAT VANTAS
@carcinoGeneticist
THE GUY WITH THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE BLOG IN THE INCIPISPHERE. ASK ABOUT MY OPINIONS ON SERENDIPITY. >> THE BLOG: https://letterboxd.com/CGeneticist/ << // @pixieivie on all socials <3<
OKAY, EVERYONE. THE VERY LONG AWAITED SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF: THE MOIVE (AND BASICALLY ALL OF THE OTHER ONES TOO) REVIEW IS UP TO READ. DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU. HTTPS://LETTERBOXD.COM/CGENETICIST/FILM/SWEET-BRO-AND-HELLA-JEFF-THE-MOIVE/
I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF JOHN CUSACK.
see!!! what did i tell you guys?
OKAY, EVERYONE. THE VERY LONG AWAITED SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF: THE MOIVE (AND BASICALLY ALL OF THE OTHER ONES TOO) REVIEW IS UP TO READ. DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU. HTTPS://LETTERBOXD.COM/CGENETICIST/FILM/SWEET-BRO-AND-HELLA-JEFF-THE-MOIVE/
NOTE TO SELF: IT IS MORE PLEASURABLE TO PLUCK ONE’S OWN EYES OUT WITH A CULLING FORK AND FEED THEM DIRECT TO IMPERIAL DRONES THAN LISTEN TO A DAVE STRIDER SPECIAL PLAYLIST.
IS MY HAIR FUZZY AND WHACKY BE HONEST.
It Looks To Be, Yes.
youre welcome i know you really wanted and needed it not many people know the difference between whack and wack
I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. THE POST WAS MADE IN HASTE. WHATEVER THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT, WHAT’S IMPORTANT IS NOT LOOKING LIKE AN ELECTROCUTED FURBEAST.
you should tell me what you think the difference is and also maybe you should try like a comb
LOOK. I’M ONLY USING JAKE’S WORDS, *NOT* MINE. HE CALLED MY HAIR AND I QUOTE. “WHACKY”. SO ASK HIM!
ohhhh it would be fuckin jake to make a wacky whacky blunder that bastard
SHOULD I RELEASE AN EXTENDED VERSION OF MY SBAHJ REVIEW? I THINK IT MIGHT CAUSE STRIDER TO FLOAT AWAY UNTIL HE’S NOTHING BUT A MINUSCULE BLONDE SPECK ON THE LANDSCAPE WITH HOW INFLATED HIS EGO WILL GET IF I PUBLISH IT. IT’S GOOD, THOUGH. THE REVIEW.
(^･ω･^) < SHARE WITH THE CLASS!!!
ANY HUMAN MOVIE RECOMMENDATIONS FOR ME TO REVIEW? DOUBLE POINTS IF THEY’RE GARBAGE, TRIPLE IF THEY’RE ACTUALLY WORTH A SHIT.
wHaT ThE HeLl dOeS ThAt mEaN? yOu tElLiNg mE ThIs iS ReMiNdInG YoU Of mE AnD YoU BuMpInG PaLe sNoUtS AlL Up iN ThE MeSsY TaNgLeS Of a pIlE? aNoThEr mE, aNyWaYs.
dOn't tElL Me wHaT To dO BrOtHeR. mAyBe i aM MoThEr fUcKiN WoRrIeD. mAyBe mY PaN Is aLl cReAsEd aNd wOrRy fIlLeD LiKe a nInJaTaStIc jElLy gRuBnUt.
yeah no shit id like it you little fuckin egotease thats why i asked but yeah sure hit me id love to hear the rest of this inspired reparte youre hitting me with
IF YOU REALLY WANT THE LOWDOWN, THEN YOU CAN ASK EVER SO POLITELY FOR A GOOD OLD FASHIONED WRITE-UP. I CAN’T POSSIBLY SAY EVERYTHING I WANT TO ABOUT CRASH (2004) IN 15K CHARACTERS. FUCKING CHITTR LIMITS.
over 15k characters over crash and only a piddly post of a chit for my whole ass multi trillion earning franchise i hate it here
WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU EGOMANIAC, A HAND-WRITTEN MULTI-PAGE REVIEW DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX? I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU. IS *THAT* WHAT YOU WANT?
now you get me make sure that shits written in gold ink and sealed with a kiss to boot
YOUR SICK WISH IS MY COMMAND, SINCE I HAVE A POINT TO PROVE. KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR INBOX.
NEW REVIEW OUT. SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE OF WATCHING THIS PILE OF SHIT AND JUST READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY INSTEAD. HTTPS://LETTERBOXD.COM/CGENETICIST/FILM/BETTER-OFF-DEAD/
And to think I tuned my eyes up for some fresh material only to discover this is the same review J and I read over call last night. Tsk, tsk. I'm all for moving untouched product, but to perk me out of my chair and get me excited for another cinematic flaying, only to show me Better off Dead AGAIN? If anyone has recommendations for your purview, it would be me. I've been saddled with more titles than an overencumbered librarian at Jake's behest and enjoyed almost none of them. ... And the scathing reviews DO score better numbers, if that's your angle.
JESUS GG GET OFF YOUR HIGH HOOFBEAST ALREADY AND CLICK MY BLOG FOR THE REST OF IT. I CAN ONLY TYPE SO FAST. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM TAKE IT UP WITH PAST KARKAT.
BUT OK, I’LL BITE. GIMME A RECOMMENDATION AND I’LL WRITE ONE JUST FOR YOU.
Mulling over the selection. I'll DM you.
WAITING *SO* PATIENTLY. NOT BURSTING A FUCKING BLOOD VESSEL OR ANYTHING.
OKAY. CRISIS NARROWLY AVERTED. MAYBE I JUMPED THE GUN BY GETTING SOLLUX TO TRY AND RUN A DIAGNOSTIC ON MY HUSKTOP. HE DEFINITELY SAW THE YAOI I WAS READING.
OKAY, SHOVING SAID OBJECT IN THAT WINDPIPE NOW. YOU WERE WARNED.
hahahaha jus fuckin try it an see wwhat happens go back to fiction fore the real wworld puts you on yer ass
YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GETTING THE PRINCESS TREATMENT THAT BATMAN IS GETTING IN THIS FANFICTION RIGHT NOW. HA!!! LIKE *THAT* WOULD EVER HAPPEN.
yeah i am pretty sure id throww up actually if some fucker showwed up and tried to treat me all tenderly or wwhatevver keep your fuckin wweirdass fantasies to yerself an quit projectin it makes you sound moronic
AMPHORA, I KNOW YOU LIKE THE BACK OF MY OWN FROND. YOU NEED A MIRROR AND A THERAPIST.
bitch havve you SEEN your owwn hair YOU need a goddamn mirror not me also therapy is a scam you should knoww this
TOXIC MASCULINITY ISN’T TRENDY, YOU KNOW. BUT OKAY, AMPORA. WHATEVER YOU SAY. <3<
they wwant all that fuckin money an for wwhat jus to tell you youre the problem im tellin you man its a scam agh wwhatevver <3<
JUST WHEN I THINK MY DAY CANNOT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE, TAO3 (TROLL ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN, DUH) IS DOWN. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO READ SUPERBAT IN THESE CONDITIONS?????????
YOU SHOULD ALL FOLLOW ME, THE ONE WITH THE FAR SUPERIOR TASTE IN HUMAN FILM, ON LETTERBOXD. BECAUSE THE ULTIMATE AUTHORITY FOR ROM-COMS, SUCK ON THAT. HTTPS://LETTERBOXD.COM/CGENETICIST/
