♥ liked by @carcinoGeneticist
✨🍭🕷️ would you guys forgive me if i was a Thing (from Human Movie John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)) 🕷️🍭✨
empanadas today! fried dough containing a savory meat mince. they pack so much flavor. i only burned my arm a little making them. as usual, theres a variety of flavors! @gallowsCounselor i packed you six. one is evil and has food coloring hidden inside to make it taste blue. enjoy empanada russian roulette! :D <3< <3
Hungry in my tummy.
|･ω･) Sometimes ♫ |･ω･) When I'm sleeping in my recuperacoon ♫ |･ω･) I can hear the cries of grubs echo down the cavern. ♫ |･ω･) It echoes off of the cave walls ♫ |･ω･) And makes an odd sort of music ♫ |･ω･) Lusii brays too, when it's adoption season. ♫ |･ω･) It's interesting! ♫
>>| since when himero decided not .only change his .own handle but .also to horny that hard? what did .i miss. #nsfw #hornyposting
WHOEVER SAID. YOu CANNOT GET BLOOD FROM A STONE. CLEARLY WAS NOT CLENCHING HARD ENOuGH. FOR MANY OF YOu. IF YOu ARE TRuLY LOYAL. YOuR WEAK SKIN WILL BuRST OVER MERE ROCK. AND THAT BLOOD WILL BE FuRNISHED IN FuCKING EARNEST. FOR ME. THE ROCK WOuLD YIELD FIRST.
࣪⊹₊˚{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
>>| feels like .i need to do something. but .on the .other side .i don't want to do .anything. just live peaceful life. but .also not very lone .one.
One Time My Bulge Almost Entered My Own Nook And The Guy I Was " Hooking Up " With Pressed It Against My Own Stomach To Stop Me. We Broke My Comfort Slab. Please Do Not Try To Compete With Me. #nsfw #nsfc #explicit
He killed Jack and was so casually like "Hey I killed a Dersite agent. You can thank me later" Completely out of nowhere, because "our 28 prototypes would make him an apocalyptic nightmare" and y'know. Seeing the other Jacks I've seen. I guess we do owe him thanks lmao.
This Is Me, By The Way. If You Even Care. #reference https://i.ibb.co/fzydbfnp/1690f0c899a73e00d085cc11925afe2d.jpg
lotta smartasses on this place, huh.
HE’S FINE!!!! LITERALLY. FIVE SECONDS AFTER TAKING THIS PHOTO. I WENT BACK IN TIME. AND UNDID IT. HE’S FINE. YOUR BARKING PURSEBEAST IS AS YAPPY AS EVER.
[/-∊n♱rΩpy gr-∊yƗng Ωu♱./] -- Ɨ♱ ƗΣ Ⱥ vȺΣ♱ Σubj-∊☪︎♱ ♱ⴵȺ♱ Ωf♱-∊n♱Ɨm-∊Σ l-∊ȺdΣ ♱Ω ♱ⴵȺ♱ Ωf dr-∊Ⱥd ȺbΩu♱ ♱ⴵ-∊ pȺΣ♱ Ⱥnd ȺbΩu♱ ♱ⴵ-∊ fu♱ur-∊, y-∊♱, Σu☪︎ⴵ dΩ-∊Σ -∊xƗΣ♱. bu♱ Ɨ♱ ƗΣ b-∊Σ♱ nΩ♱ ♱Ω pΩnd-∊r ♱ΩΩ mu☪︎ⴵ Ωn Ɨ♱. -∊lΣ-∊ yΩu mȺy fƗnd yΩurΣ-∊lf -∊Ɨ♱ⴵ-∊r drΩ屮nƗng Ɨn ♱ⴵ-∊ r-∊gr-∊♱ Ωf ♱ⴵ-∊ pȺΣ♱ Ωr ♱ⴵ-∊ ⴵΩrrΩr Ωf ♱ⴵ-∊ fu♱ur-∊. ΣƗmply Σ♱Ⱥy ♱ⴵ-∊ ☪︎ΩurΣ-∊, 屮ⴵȺ♱-∊v-∊r fȺ♱-∊ ⴵȺΣ Ɨn-lƗn-∊ fΩr yΩu, -∊mbrȺ☪︎-∊ Ɨ♱ 屮ⴵΩl-∊ⴵ-∊Ⱥr♱-∊dly, dΩ nΩ♱ l-∊♱ Ɨ♱ ☪︎lƗng ♱Ω yΩu Ⱥnd d-∊fƗn-∊ yΩur -∊xƗΣ♱-∊n☪︎-∊, 屮ⴵ-∊♱ⴵ-∊r Ɨ♱ b-∊ gΩΩd Ωr bȺd, |⟨nΩ屮 ♱ⴵȺ♱ Ɨn-∊vƗ♱Ⱥbly, yΩu 屮Ɨll g-∊♱ ♱ⴵrΩugⴵ Ɨ♱. 屮ⴵȺ♱ Ɨ Ⱥm 屮ΩrdƗng ⴵ-∊r-∊ ƗΣ, dΩ nΩ♱ ♱ⴵƗn|⟨ ♱ΩΩ mu☪︎ⴵ Ωn Ɨf ♱ⴵƗngΣ Ⱥr-∊ fȺ♱-∊d, gΩ 屮Ɨ♱ⴵ ♱ⴵ-∊ flΩ屮. [/ΣȺmΣȺrȺ'Σ Σ屮ȺnΣΩng./]
i don't really believe in fate but i do believe in nature an i think sometimes nature manifests itself in real specific ways as a constant
what about two good cigs
I Came To Work So My Boss Could Yell At Me, And She Yelled At Me. #shocked #appalled #deserved
My wit is so girthy. I feel it throbbing in my skull and I get headaches. I need to release my wit, snark, and sass or I'll get blue brain and die.
YOU THUNDER-STEALING BITCH. I'LL REMEMBER THIS. ACTUALLY, TO BE "REAL" WITH YOU FOR A SECOND. ABCC *IS* LOOKING FOR MORE HOSTS. PEOPLE WITH A GODDAMN POSTURE POLE. WITH SOME INITIATIVE. CHUTZPAH. SOME PROVERBIAL SHAME GLOBES. DO YOU HAVE SHAME GLOBES, ROSE.
You're also invited to my movie night tomorrow. I'm not trying to steal your thunder, I just enjoy these kinds of events and thought it'd be nice to host one myself.
AT LONG LAST, IT'S ALMOST TIME. IT'S THE END OF THE WIPE. YOU'VE FOUGHT. YOU'VE WEPT. YOU'VE RUN YOUR BLOODY STRUTPODS RAGGED AND CROSSED THAT FUCKING FINISH LINE WITH NOTHING IN THE TANK. SO EVERYBODY GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING WAY, BECAUSE YOU'VE EARNED THIS. IT'S #SUBSTANCE NIGHT AT #ABCC. (OPTIONAL. OPTIONAL. OPTIONAL. CAN'T STATE THIS ENOUGH. OPTIONAL. SIT THIS ONE OUT IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.) IF YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT ONE OF THE *THREE* (YES, THREE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE ARE *SO* FUCKING BACK) #WATCHPARTY SHOWINGS HOSTED BY MYSELF OR @carcinoGeneticist#2443 THIS WIPE, THEN TOLIGHT IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO CATCH HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRERS, WITH OR WITHOUT THE ADDITIONAL DETAIL OF BEING HAMMERED BEYOND ALL COGNITION ON THE SPONGE-ROTTING SWILL OF YOUR CHOICE. EXPERIENCE THE MAGIC OF ONE OF HUMAN STUDIO GHIBLI (OR JIBBLY, AS ONE FUCKWIT IN THE CLUB COINED) AND CRY INTO YOUR FELLOW TROLL'S SHOULDER WITH A BOTTLE, A BONG, OR WHATEVER GROTESQUE INTOXICANT VEHICLE FLOATS YOUR FUCKING BOAT. WORK HARD, PLAY HARD. SOME OF YOU HAVE ALREADY RSVP'ED ON THE ORIGINAL CHITT. GOOD. SOME OF YOU HAVE NOT. BAD. NOT GOOD. DOUBLEPLUS UNGOOD. FUCK YOU TIMES A HUNDRED. GET ON THE CHITT AND RESERVE YOUR SPOT NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, OR I'LL THROW IT TO THE SQUEAKBEASTS AND LET THEM RIP EACH OTHER TO SHREDS FOR IT. TICKETS ARE HOT. GET 'EM WHILE THEY LAST. SEE YOU THERE, ASSHOLES. #GETIN.
Read Carefully, Good evening. I was satisfied to Observe the comings and goings of the userbase of this platform for some time yet, until it was brought to my Attention that my Presence was sorely sought after. And with an egotistical jab to my honor, I am forced from my dwelling to make myself more apparent. This is counterintuitive to my efforts, but who am I to deny a man his showmanship? I am at, the end of the night, a duelist myself. So, hello, Chittr. I am Lavell Mirith, Captain of Threshecutioner Reserve Field Operations. Violet, of course, in blood. From my brief time watching you all mill your free time away on this platform, I am well aware that my decoration, manners of discipline and testimonies, interests you all very little. So I will not waste my time on them. Know that the decorations are many and my position well earned. There are many of you, flippant in your use of this application and arrogant in the ways that you choose to share your location with any troll that happens to ask for coordinates. Carry on in this way as you would like. The reports will be penned all the same. The appropriate visits, made. Back to the matter at hand. Perhaps I should be flattered that scent alone could make you ache in such a way. If truly you used your deductive capabilities to pin me with such ease, why then was this matter not addressed on that very balcony? Is it truly a trick when the intended "victim" was keen on sharing that drink? The holes in your accusation have cropped up just as quickly as you were to remove the stained shirt. It was hardly a splash and the buttons of your uniform jacket were undone before I could take one quivering breath. It was in that early morning light that you bared your skin to me out on the balcony. I waited with baited breath for you to utter my name in challenge, this is true, and yet, our blades remain sheathed. Tonight I drink to you, First Officer Marech Veylor, in belated celebration to the honor you have yet to bring challenge to me for. May these words deepen your curiosities. Signed, Captain Lavell Mirith Threshecutioner Reserve Field Operations
Ay, yo. Why the cosmic narrators beefing now?
i HAD SOME, pOMEGRANATE JUICE AND NOW, i FEEL MUCH BETTER AND, rEHYDRATED, nOW,
(( pinned post an alternate gameverse/godtier version of one of my dead ocs, kalien dalzie, who was part of a failed session. he's a life player who's able to cross through and leave the dreambubbles to walk the many worlds of the living, so don't worry about his interactions being limited. if i think of anything else i need to add, i'll edit this post, but for now, just enjoy my kali images https://iili.io/Cl8iGOG.png https://iili.io/Cl8iWx4.png https://iili.io/Cl8iMbf.png https://iili.io/Cd1yNDb.png
>>| more hours .and .i'll be free. .i .almost forgot .i need to .address something yesterday .uhhh. will do later.
I’d łøve tø attend. This studiø receives głøwing praise but I’ve ønły watched øne øf their fiłms thus far.
(=^･⩊･^=) < OH!! FURRCK YES!! I LOVE THIS MEWVIE!!!!
)(ello, )(ello! Seeing all t)(e new aspiring immortals and long-lived existences )(ere, let me offer a little advice and save you some trouble! T)(e key to living a long time (wit)(out -EXPLODING) is to find somet)(ing to care about! Time )(as a way of slowly degrading everyt)(ing. If you want to be around (and sane!) for an eternity, t)(en you s)(ould find somet)(ing to invest your time in! Investing in goals and objectives is a way to stay sane! C)(eers to you all! I )(ope to see you all around for a very long time! 38* #Life #Deat)( #Immortality
THEN IT'S A GOOD FUCKING THING THE MOVIE ISN'T CALLED LLEVYN'S SEDENTARY PILE OF SHIT, ISN'T IT. WOULD YOU WATCH THAT MOVIE. WOULD YOU REALLY.
FOR 7/8 — 7/10'S #ABCC #WATCHPARTY, WE WILL BE WATCHING: HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE (2004), FROM STUDIO GHIBLI. YES, I'M USING ITS RIDICULOUSLY TRUNCATED HUMAN NAME, SINCE MOST OF THE TIME ALL I CAN EVER FIND ARE THE HUMAN VERSIONS OF THESE MOVIES, ANYWAY. AS PER A CONVERSATION I HAD WITH A CERTAIN SWORD-SWINGING SAVANT I RESPECT, SOME MOVIES ARE SMART. SOME MOVIES ARE FUN. NOT ALL MOVIES ARE BOTH, BUT THIS ONE IS. FEW CAN DISPUTE THE CULTURAL FUCKING POWERHOUSE THAT IS HUMAN HAYAO MIYAZAKI, AND OF THE INNUMERABLE TITLES LAUNCHED FROM THE MIGHTY MOVIE CANNON POSITIONED AT THE HIGHEST MORTAR TOWER OVER AT STUDIO GHIBLI, FEW STAND OUT IN THE REALM OF ANIMATED ROMANCES AS MUCH AS HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE. RSVPS *WILL* BE FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE. I *WILL* BE BUMPING THIS POST AS MANY TIMES AS I NEED TO IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE YOU FUCKWITS SEE IT. REPLY WITH WHAT DAY YOU WANT TO SHOW UP TO. AND HEY, IF THAT DAY FILLS UP? YOU MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE TO JOIN ON FRIDAY. I DON'T EXPECT THESE TO GET *TOO* BIG, BUT OTHERWISE I MIGHT START HANDING THESE OFF TO OTHER MEMBERS I CAN TRUST. DON'T MAKE ME REGRET IT. NOW CHITT, DIPSHITS. GET YOUR TICKETS WHILE THEY'RE HOT. NOT LIKE THERE'S AN AWFUL FUCKING LOT OF THEM.
YES. HELL YES. HELL. FUCKING. *YES.*
YOU THOUGHT ME GONE. YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD SILENT. GROUND INTO MULCH UNDER THE HEEL OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES TO THE TIME ASSHOLE MAFIA. THAT I HAD LEFT MY THRONE, THE ONE I CARVED OUT OF THE RAW, PRIMORDIAL SHITSLUDGE OF THIS UNCULTURED WEBSITE WITH MY TEETH, CLAWS, AND GODTIER TASTE IN ROMANTIC CINEMA, TO COLLECT DUST, COBWEBS, WINGBEAST SHIT, AND LIMESCALE. WELL GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLES. YOU THOUGHT WRONG. IT'S BACK. IT'S FUCKING BACK. AND THIS TIME, IT'S HERE TO STAY. STARTING 7/8, THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB IS BACK. THE BEST ROMANCES, ROMANCE-ADJACENT FLICKS, AND BARELY JUSTIFIABLE AS ROMANCE CINEMASLOP THAT I'M CAPABLE OF STREAMING FROM THE MOON WHILE I'M ON A VERY LONG SMOKE BREAK. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE JOINED ME IN MY PERSONAL CINEMANIA RUMPUS ROOM BEFORE, YOU'LL NOTICE A FEW NEW PERKS FOR NEW MEMBERS AND OLD ALIKE, JUST BECAUSE I'M SUCH A MAGNANIMOUS PIECE OF SHIT. THEY INCLUDE: - REGULAR SHOWTIMES. EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY AT 7 PM PST [PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME]. NO MORE MUCKING ABOUT, CARVING X'S INTO YOUR CALENDAR, WONDERING IF IT'S GOING TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN THIS WIPE AND WHEN. WE'RE LOCK FUCKING STEP, THIS TIME (I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SAY "FUCK IT" AND EITHER SKIP A DAY OR HAND IT OFF TO ONE OF MY TRUSTED LIEUTENANTS. THIS IS MY NON-NEGOTIABLE LEADERSHIP CONCESSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH IT). - ABCC MIDDLE PRONGSTUBS S-LIST. IN OTHER WORDS, PRIORITY REGISTRATION. SOME OF YOU (AND YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS) GET THE EXORBITANT FUCKING LUXURY OF A GUARANTEED SPOT ON EITHER DAY, SO LONG AS YOU RSVP IN ADVANCE A COUPLE OF DAYS. THE STUPID VIRTUALBLOCKS ONLY HOLD TWELVE PEOPLE AT A TIME (HUH. WONDER WHY IT'S THAT NUMBER, SPECIFICALLY. SOMETHING NOSTALGIC AND FUCKED UP ABOUT IT), SO SPOTS TEND TO FILL UP FAST. ENJOY NEVER HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THAT PEDANTIC BULLSHIT EVER AGAIN. - #SUBSTANCE NIGHT. YES, YOU HEARD ME. SINCE WE'RE SHOWING THE SAME MOVIE BOTH NIGHTS, FEEL FREE TO PULL UP ON FRIDAY AND (OPTIONALLY, OPTIONALLY, CANNOT FUCKING STRESS THIS ENOUGH, *OPTIONALLY*, PEER PRESSURE WILL BE MET WITH THE SWIFTED DOWNFALL OF MY MIGHTY BANSICKLE IMAGINABLE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD) CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE (OR A WARM ONE, IF YOU'RE SOME KIND OF LAZY, UNWASHED CHUD WHO JUST KEEPS THEM UNDER YOUR FUCKING WORKPLANK, OR SOMETHING) AND COME BE A MESSY DUMBFUCK REPROBATE WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRLINGS. IT'S BYOB. BRING YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. FUCK AROUND RESPONSIBLY. - THE SUGGESTION BOX. YUP. THAT'S RIGHT. NOW YOU, TOO, CAN PRETEND TO HAVE TASTE IN MOVIES THAT'S ONE STEP ABOVE A WIGGLER WATCHING KEYS JINGLE IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE. THROW A MOVIE INTO THE HOPPER AND WATCH IT COME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE WHEN IT'S TIME TO SCRAPE THE CRUST OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL. OR IMPRESS ME, IF YOU'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD PICK. YOU CAN SUBMIT A MOVIE HERE [ https://forms.gle/7anjoq22cFsipBMS8 ]. AND THE FEATURE I'M PROUDEST OF. - GHASTLY MIST TIME [GMT]/BILIOUS STANDARD TIME [BST] SHOWTIMES. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. IF YOU'VE HAD THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN OF MISSING OUT ON STREAMS AND OTHER LIVE EVENTS BECAUSE YOUR TIMELINEZONE IS NESTLED SQUARELY BETWEEN THE WORDS "FUCK" AND "YOU," THEN BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. THE GOATED SON OF A BITCH HIMSELF. THE CINEMATIC BALL-KNOWER. THE GUY WITH THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE BLOG IN THE INCIPISPHERE, #carcinoGeneticist#2443 IS GOING TO HELP ME ORGANIZE SHOWTIMES FOR EVERYONE ON THE FLIP SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE. AND YOU CAN TRUST HIM, BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY ME. TIME AND DATE FOR THAT WILL BE COMING SOON, SO JUST HOLD YOUR FUCKING HOOFBEASTS AND DON'T GET ON EITHER OF OUR ASSES ABOUT IT. YOU'VE WAITED THIS LONG, YOU'LL BE FINE. SO COME. COME ONE, COME ALL, COME GET A FACEFUL OF BLISTERING HOT ABSOLUTE CINEMA DOWN AT #ABCC'S NEXT #WATCHPARTY. WE'LL BE JUMPSTARTING THIS FLY-RIDDEN CORPSE WITH A CLASSIC ANIMATED ROMANCE TOMORROW THAT MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH. HAVE FUN WITH IT. THEY WON'T ALL BE THIS EASY. SEE YOU THERE, FUCKWITS. #GETIN.
need hoes to get more comfortable in their masculinity asap
im a walgreens 7, a walmart 9, a whole foods 6, a home depot 10, an airport 8 rising to 11 if i take the shades off which i wont, a film festival 7.5 with critics saying the bone structure "shows promise but lacks discipline," and a met gala 4 because next to actual celebrities i am simply the guy who knows where the food is
࣪⊹₊˚{ { you walk into my tripwire + trigger my net trap + are like fwooshed up into my net trap } }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ NOW ROLL TO STRUGGLE! \}*7*{/ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
Sometimes I like to pretend your chits are just things you're saying to EE that accidentally got speech to texted.
I'M SURE YOU DO. UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, ENGLISH, I'M NOT DEPRESSED ENOUGH TO WATCH ANY OF YOUR SLOP. I HAVE STANDARDS.
- To quote one very deceased and very beloved Alternian treasure, Troll Bruno Mars... - "Why we gotta fight?" LOL. 😆😆🤣🤣🤣
never said i did. just saying if anyones gonna be your type maybe reconsider it being the guy who looks like the last four letters of his name.
✿ be𖥧ng l❦s𖧧 𖥧n a f❦res𖧧 f❦r a w𖥧pe w❦uld help s❦me ❦f y❦u ✿
MY LATE-LIGHT REVIEW OF THE 2009 SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE "PANDORUM." THIS MOVIE IS LIKE IF YOU COULD DOSE YOURSELF WITH IPICAC THROUGH YOUR FUCKING GANDERBULBS. EXCEPT DESPITE ALL ITS BLEAK, RETCH-WORTHY IMAGERY, IT'S. NOT AS PACKED WITH TASTELESS GORE AS I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT. IS IT DRESSED UP LIKE A GARBAGE B-MOVIE? IT FEELS LIKE ONE AT TIMES, DUE TO LOOKING LIKE IT WAS SEPARATED AT HATCHING FROM "EVENT HORIZON" (1997), BUT IT TREATS ITSELF LIKE IT HAS SOME GENUINE SELF-RESPECT. THIS IS A MOVIE THAT DID THE BEST DAMN JOB IT COULD WITH WHAT IT HAD AT THE TIME — MUCH LIKE A GENERATION SHIP BEING COBBLED TOGETHER BY A BUNCH OF BACKWATER, UNEVOLVED MORONS SO IT CAN HURTLE SLOWLY THROUGH SPACE LIKE A FUCKING BOULDER, ONLY TO FIND OUT THERE'S MORE DEPTH TO THE MYSTERY UNDER THEIR FRONDS THAN THEY COULD HAVE DREAMT OF IN THEIR WORST DAYMARES. HONESTLY? DESPITE BEING "YUCKY" INCARNATE, THIS MOVIE FUCKING RULES. I GIVE IT THREE AND A HALF OUT OF FIVE MIDDLE PRONGSTUBS. AND THAT'S BEING GENEROUS. TAKE MY FUCKING CRUMBS, PANDORUM. YOU DID A PRETTY DAMN GOOD JOB. HERE'S HOPING YOU GET REMADE DOWN THE LINE, OR SOMETHING. YOU DESERVED BETTER.
Omg I have a jar of impossibly dark gunk.
dude. wading through piles of shit is the only thing that gets me outta bed nowadays. when i lay my head down on my goose down pillow each night and rub my legs together under my 1000 thread egyption cotton i think about the festering swamp of feces awaiting me the next day and i go gently into that dark night with the fattest fucking smile on my face. got my wading boots up against the bedpost ready for me to jump into the moment my eyes open. buzzing to get elbow deep in that shit. im like crocodile dundee the way im all up in that shit.
sometimes i really wanna block the puppet tag but then i remember i'm trying to prove my psychiatrist wrong
look im into a lotta kinky shit but yall didnt even ask before you strapped me into the cuck chair and taped my eyes open.
Sitting on the floor with a bowl of cereal. Life is good.
Its 5pm and im already done for the day i think. I feel just dreadful.
WE'RE LITERALLY AT NEAR-CAPACITY. THE FIRST ONE THROUGH THE DOOR GETS THE GOLDEN FUCKING HONKBEAST. EVERYONE AFTER THAT CAN FIGHT AND KILL EACH OTHER FOR THE WAITLIST. BUT SERIOUSLY, DON'T WORRY. I PLAN ON SHOWING THIS ONE AGAIN NO MATTER WHAT. PROBABLY AT A LATER TIMELINEZONE, ANYWAY. YOU KNOW, FOR ANYONE IN BILIOUS STANDARD TIME OR SIMILAR. MR. NOBODY, ASSHOLES. THE FLAGSHIP PRIDE OF MY CURATED COLLECTION. #GETIN. #ABCC #WATCHPARTY #MRNOBODY
Dear diary, Today masterCuller lied on the internet about getting bitches. It was funny as hell. Phuntr was there. LMAO
EVVENT: Beach Episode WWHERE: ED's beachhivve, timeline: Earth C 606404 WWHEN: roughly startin at 5:30-6 EST #edsbeachepisode bring wwhatevver you wwant, ill havve some drinks and snacks set up in a cooler at my hivve along wwith trashcans, i wwill not havve you litterin on my beach.
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CHITTRLINGS. LONG TIME, NO CHITT. THERE HAVE BEEN SOME *AGGRAVATING* DEVELOPMENTS IN MY CAREER AS A PLATFORM USER, AS A CREATOR, AND ABOVE ALL, AS ONE OF THE UNLUCKY JACKOFFS STILL UNACCOUNTABLY FORCED TO EXIST IN A PLACE AND TIME WITHIN A MULTIVERSAL CONTINUITY OF ENDLESS, CACOPHONOUS FUCKRUMPUS PARADOX CHICANERY. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY TRYING AND FAILING TO WRIGGLE OUT OF THESE DEVELOPMENTS, I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN AROUND TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE. I'M GOING TO DO THAT NOW. SO DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF, BECAUSE I WON'T. I'LL JUST PULL UP THIS CHITT, SEIZE YOU VIOLENTLY BY THE HEAD, AND SHOVE YOUR BLOODSHOT GANDERBULBS AGAINST THE SCREEN UNTIL THE AMBIENT HEAT COOKS THEM LIKE EGGS. READ, SHITSPONGE. READ THIS AND GET OFF MY DORSAL RIDGE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE. FUCKING. SCOOP. STARTING WITH THE BIG ONE. I WORK FOR THE FELT, NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I CAN HEAR THE QUESTION AT THE VERY FRONT OF YOUR THOUGHTSPONGE DOING BACKFLIPS, FRONTFLIPS, CARTWHEELS, AND ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTES. "KARKAT, WHAT KIND OF TURBO-CHARGED JUJU-FLAVORED CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DIDN'T YOU SPEND YOUR ENTIRE SESSION FIGHTING THIS JOLLY GREEN MANLET AND HIS BUMBLING CADRE OF BUMBLING ASS-BURGLARS? WHAT IN THE FRESH, FULMINATING *FUCK* MADE YOU SIGN A CONTRACT WITH *THESE* LOONEYBLOCK TIME BANDITS?" THE SHORT ANSWER? THE MIME MADE ME DO IT. LITERALLY. MY SPONGE STILL HURTS FROM WHERE HE SHOVED HIS PRONG IN IT LIKE A GLOVE AND MADE ME TYPE UP THAT APPLICATION. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PLAN IS HERE, BUT I'M WILLING TO BET *ANYTHING* THAT HE'S GOT ONE. SO YES. AGAINST MY WILL. AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. AGAINST A THOUSAND ETERNITIES OF BALEFUL, ENDLESS SUFFERING, I HAVE A NEW NINE TO FIVE. AND WITH IT, A NEW TITLE. ONE WHICH I AM *OBLIGATED* TO USE IN OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU CALL ME "CHALKBOX" WHILE I'M OFF THE CLOCK, I'M GOING TO INVENT A NEW WAY TO PERFORM A LOBOTOMY. FUCK YOU, KURLOZ. FUCK YOU, SCRATCH. AND MOST OF ALL, COMING IN HARD WITH THE FUCK YOU X3 COMBO, IT'S A WHOPPING FIVE-SCOOP, CHOCOLATE-DRIZZLED FUCK YOU SUNDAE FESTOONED WITH OBLONG BUNCHFRUIT, WHIPPED CREAM, SPRINKLES, AND A CHERRY-RED MIDDLE FINGER ON TOP FOR MR. MALDING GREEN MANLET HIMSELF. I'M WEARING THE BADGE OUT OF SPITE. I AM CLOCKING IN FOR THE LONGEST DAY AT THE LONG DAY FACTORY I HAVE EVER WORKED. AND IF I EVER MANAGE TO CLOCK OUT, THERE WILL BE *HELL* TO PAY. ANYWAYS. I HAVE TO GO MOP UP A NASTY, REEKING PUDDLE OF NON-NEWTONIAN ECTO-PHLEGM, OR SOMETHING. HERE'S A PICTURE FOR THE ALGORITHM. THIS IS THE CHALKBOX, SAYING, "GO BRING THAT PILE OF DIRTY CUPS AND PLATES IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK TO THE SINK, YOU FILTHY, WALLOWING SLOBHOGS." HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/67CB4DD16DFF.JPG
CHALKBOX, DAY ONE. FIFTY-TWO-ISH KARKAT HOURS. I'VE SEEN A LOT OF BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE. A *LOT.* BULLSHIT OF SUCH A MYRIAD VARIETY THAT IF YOU WENT INTO A BULLSHIT PARLOR ADVERTISING EVERY FLAVOR OF BULLSHIT UNDER THE SUN, BULLSHIT NEAPOLITAN, BULLSHIT SPUMONI, BULLSHIT SORBET, BULLSHIT OF EVERY POSSIBLE QUALITY AND CONSISTENCY, AND THEN SERVED ME UP A TALL, HEAPING BULLSHIT CONE STACKED TO A HEIGHT THAT WOULD SEND EVEN TROLL SCOOBY-DOO INTO A FUCKING COMA, I WOULD SAMPLE EVERY SINGLE FLAVOR ON THAT MILE-HIGH BULLSHIT SUNDAE WITHOUT BATTING A FUCKING BULB. BECAUSE I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE. THIS. THIS IS THE FRESHEST BULLSHIT I'VE EVER TASTED. WHAT. THE FUCK. IS THIS. THIS IS SINGLE-HANDEDLY THE MOST PAN-MELTINGLY GARISH BLOCK IN AN ALREADY EYE-SEARING TORMENT NEXUS OF UGLY GREEN BLOCKS. WHY IS IT SO SMALL. WHY DOES THE FURNITURE LOOK LIKE IT'S FOR WIGGLERS OF RECENTLY DIVORCED LUSUSDADS. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS ON THE WALL. I CAN'T EVEN PARSE THIS SHIT WITH A FINE TOOTH HAIR DE-WRANGLER. NOBODY SHINE A FUCKING BLACK LIGHT IN HERE. I'M CHITTING THE PICTURE FOR POSTERITY. BECAUSE SEEING IS BELIEVING, AND I CAN BARELY BELIEVE WHAT I'M SEEING. BUT ALSO BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MOP THIS BULLSHIT RIGHT OFF THE FACE OF THE MOON. UPDATES WILL COME. GIVE ME TWO KARKAT HOURS. ACTUALLY, MAKE THAT FOUR. THE SHEER REPELLANT HIDEOUSNESS OF THIS RETCH-WORTHY FURNITURE IS PLAYING MY QUEASY INTERNAL CLOCK ON HALF-SPEED. I'M GETTING OLDER EVERY MOMENT I'M FORCED TO LOOK AT THE CHAIRS. THESE CHAIRS ARE MAKING ME OLD. ONWARD, TO WAR. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/388EDBE6A8DD.PNG
HELLO. BITCHES AND THE BITCHLESS. IT IS I. THE HAND. MAID. I HAVE JUST WATCHED. THE BEST MOVIE. I HAVE EVER GANDERED. WITH THESE TWO. FLASHING. GANDERBULBS. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. AND THAT IS REALLY FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING. BECAUSE I AM SUCH AN OLD. GRODY. BITCH. AND BECAUSE IT IS SO GOOD. GOOD ENOUGH THAT I ENDORSE IT. WITH MY WHOLE. SAGGY. AORTICALLY COLLAPSED. PUSHER. I HAVE DECIDED. TO WRITE AN ENTIRE REVIEW. ON THE LEGENDARY QUALITY. AND TIMELESS AMUSEMENT. OF THIS MOVIE. THIS IS MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW. ON THE 2015. LUCASFILMS JUKEBOX MUSICAL. STRANGE MAGIC. STRANGE MAGIC IS MANY THINGS. A FANTASY FILM. A SHAKESPEARIAN PERMUTATION. A NINETY-NINE-MINUTE BUTCHERY OF SOME REAL. CLASSIC. BANGERS. AND A SCREAMING ABATTOIR. OF FLAT-OUT MISOGYNY. THE LIKES OF WHICH. COULD ONLY BE WRITTEN BY A WASHED-OUT FANTASY NERD WITH AN ORAL FIXATION AND A LUST FOR THE SWEET. PLASTICKY. SEX APPEAL. OF COMPUTER-GENERATED FREAKS. WHO APPARENTLY WANTED TO MAKE A FILM FOR HIS THREE FEMALE DESCENDANTS. AND FOR FIFTEEN YEARS OF PRODUCTION. DREAMED OF MAKING "STAR WARS BUT FOR SIX SWEEP-OLD GIRLS." LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING MANIAC. BUT ABOVE ALL OF THESE THINGS. AT ITS SWEET. SENTIMENTAL CORE. WRAPPED IN LAYERS OF HOT. REEKING GARBAGE. LIKE A BEAUTIFUL ROSEBUD. AT ITS ROSEATE CENTER. IT IS THE BEST KIND OF MOVIE. IT IS. A ROMANCE. A ROMANCE ABOUT TWO NAIVE DUMBFUCKS. WHO HAVE BEEN BURNED SO BADLY BY LOVE. THAT THEY HAVE FORMED A THICK. PRICKLY. IMPENETRABLE CRUST. LIKE A FULL SUIT OF PLATE ARMOR. MADE OF SCAR TISSUE. TO PREVENT THEMSELVES FROM EVER FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN. AND IT IS FOR THIS EXACT MUTUAL BADDIESHIP. THAT THESE TWO DIPSHITS. TUMBLE INTO THE HOTTEST. STEAMIEST. MOST UNLIKELY. AND VISCERALLY UNPLEASANT TO WATCH MATESPRITSHIP. EVER SEEN ON THE SCREEN. ALSO THEY ARE FAIRIES. SO IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE TROLLS OUT THERE. WHOSE GOSSAMER WINGS ARE ALREADY AFLUTTER WITH UNCHECKED AROUSAL. AT THE MERE CONCEPT THUS FAR. THIS ONE. IS FOR THE GIRLIES. LET US FIRST BEGIN. WITH A BRIEF SYNOPSIS. SPOILERS AHEAD. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO WATCH. THIS LOIN-ROILING. CINEMATIC. MASTERPIECE. FIRST-HAND. LONG AGO. IN A FOREST FAR. FAR AWAY. THERE IS A REALM DIVIDED. BETWEEN THE FAIRY KINGDOM. AND THE DARK FOREST. AND IN THIS REALM. THERE EXISTS A FAIRY. THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY, TO BE EXACT. WHO CAN TURN PRIMROSE PETALS. INTO LOVE POTIONS. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL OF THE MOVIE. SO DO NOT. FUCKING. FORGET THIS. FROM THE FAIRY KINGDOM COMES PRINCESS MARIANNE. WHO IS A NAIVE. ROYAL. BIMBO TART. DIPSHIT. WHO IMMEDIATELY FINDS OUT. THAT HER PHILANDERING ASSCLOWN FIANCE. ROLAND. A BLOND, SELF-ABSORBED FUCKFACE. WITH THE MOST SNATCHED WAIST. OF ANY MAN. TO EVER SWING AROUND. A COUNTRY BOY ACCENT. IS CHEATING ON HER. WITH SOME NAMELESS HUSSIE. WHO IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. AND MARIANNE IS SO RIGHTFULLY PUMP-SMASHED OVER HIS BULLSHIT. THAT SHE GETS GUSSIED UP IN HER FINEST EYELINER MADE OF BLUEBERRIES. AND DRESSES LIKE A PROPER MEAN BITCH. AND VOWS OFF OF LOVE. FOREVER. NOW. MEANWHILE. IN THE DARK FOREST. WHERE THE REAL. SLIMY. FREAKS OF THE FEY WORLD LIVE. WE MEET. THE REAL. HIGHLIGHT OF THIS FILM. A BAD BITCH. OF SUCH DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS. LIP-BITING. AURA-FARMING. TROLL HENRY SELICK DESIGN LOOKING-ASS. GRUMBLR SEXYMAN APPEAL. THAT THEY SEALED THE FUCKING DEAL. BY CASTING HIM AS RENOWNED STAR OF SCREEN AND STAGE. ALAN CUMMING. WHOSE LAST NAME. IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING. AS SOON AS HE SANG HIS FIRST MUSICAL NUMBER. IF YOU WANT TO DRAW ART OF ME. *COPIOUS* ART OF ME. VIOLENTLY TONGUEING THAT MAN. ON HIS HOT MOUTH. OR ANY OTHER. SIMILARLY. SAUCY. SELF-INDULGENT FANART. PLEASE. PLEASE DO SO. AND SHOW IT TO ME. NO MATTER WHAT I SAY. OR DO. AFTER THIS. BECAUSE THAT IS SIMPLY MY PRONGHINGE-JERK REFLEX. LEAVING ME UNABLE TO OPENLY. AND GLEEFULLY ACCEPT. THE BOUNTY. OF THE BOOTY. SO JUST HEAP THAT SHIT ON ME. FULL SPEED AHEAD. WHERE WAS I. I GOT LOST THERE FOR A MINUTE. YES. THE BOG KING. MY BELOVED BAD BOY. HE HAS ORDERED THAT ALL THE PRIMROSES IN THE REALM BE CUT. AND HAS IMPRISONED THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY. SO THAT NO MORE LOVE POTIONS CAN BE MADE. BECAUSE HE HAS ALSO. SWORN OFF OF LOVE. FOREVER. FOR A REASON HE ADAMANTLY REFUSES TO ELABORATE ON. NO MATTER HOW MUCH EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MINION IN HIS WHOLE KINGDOM. POKES HIM ABOUT IT. BUT THEY CONSTANTLY ALLUDE TO SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED LONG AGO. IN HIS TRAGIC. SEXY. BACKSTORY. WHO HURT HIM. I WANT TO KNOW. I NEEDED TO KNOW. THAT IS WHY I WATCHED THE WHOLE FILM. NOW STRAP IN. YOU WEAK-WILLED STOOGES. BECAUSE HERE. IS WHERE THE SHIT. GETS GOING. YOU SEE. MARIANNE. HAS A SISTER. DAWN. WHO IS A CHIPPER. SACCHARINE. BALL OF SUNSHINE. THE KIND THAT WOULD MELT THE FLESH. RIGHT OFF YOUR BONES. AND THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN WITHSTAND. HER FULL FORCE BEAUTIFIC IMMOLATION. IS A SHORT. UNFLATTERINGLY CARICATURIZED ELF. NAMED SUNNY. GET IT. DAWN. SUNNY. YOU MAY LAUGH NOW. WELL THIS IS IMPORTANT. BECAUSE WHEN ROLAND SHOWS UP TO ASK MARIANNE TO FORGIVE HIM. WITH A SONG THAT ADMITTEDLY KIND OF FUCKS. AND SHE THROWS HIS ASS OUT. WITH A SONG THAT FUCKING SUCKS. THIS SMARMY. CREEPY. COWBOY SLUT. CONVINCES SUNNY TO SNEAK INTO THE DARK FOREST. FIND THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY. BRING A PRIMROSE PETAL. AND BRING BACK A LOVE POTION. WITH WHICH TO DUBCON THE BAD BITCH. HE SO EGREGIOUSLY FUMBLED. BUT WHEN HE DOES. AND THE BOG KING SHOWS UP. TO ROCK MY UGLY PANTIES. WITH SUCH ENORMOUS FORCE. THAT IT REHYDRATES A BARREN RIVERBED. THAT LAY DUSTY AND RUINOUS. FOR UNTOLD EONS. WITH HIS OPENING NUMBER. ALL OF THE SHIT. HITS THE OSCILLATING WIND DEVICE. DAWN IS HIT WITH THE LOVE POTION. MY BEAUTIFUL BOGGY WOGGY DEMANDS THAT THE POTION BE RETURNED. THIS LITTLE. FUCKASS IMP. WHO IS THE EXACT SIZE, HEIGHT, AND LEVEL OF DIPSHIT INTELLECT AS THE GREEN MANLET WHO SIGNS MY CHECKS. WHO SHOULD DEFINITELY BE READING THIS REVIEW RIGHT NOW. STEALS THE POTION AND JUST STARTS SPRAYING THAT SHIT ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE. TURNING THE WHOLE FOREST. INTO ONE FUCKED UP. SAUCY. INTERSPECIES. TONGUEFEST. MARIANNE GOES AFTER HER ENSORCELLED CLUTCHSISTER. ROLAND GATHERS AN ARMY. AND WORST. OF ALL. THAT DUMB. FAWNING BITCH. DAWN. HAS THE RAW UNMITIGATED *GUMPTION.* TO FALL MAGICALLY IN LOVE. WITH MY BOGGY WOGGY. THE CONNIVING WHORE. I WILL FEED HER ASS ON A PLATTER. TO THE ANGEL OF DOUBLE DEATH ITSELF. FOR STEPPING ON MY MAN. BY NOW. THE MORE LITERATE. AND LESS CULTURALLY PAN-DEAD AMONG YOU. HAVE PROBABLY SURMISED THAT THIS IS ESSENTIALLY THE PLOT OF A MIDPERIHELION LIGHT'S DREAM. SO I WILL SKIP SOME OF THE FINER POINTS. FOR REDUNDANT BREVITY. THE MAIN POINT IS THAT THE MOMENT THIS FILM COMES ONLINE. IN A BIG. BIG. WAY. IS WHEN MARIANNE CONFRONTS THE BOG KING. IN A FEVERISH. FRONDSTUB-CURLING. MELEE. WHERE THEY REALIZE THAT THEY ARE EVENLY MATCHED. NOT ONLY IN FIGHTING ABILITY. BUT IN THE DEPTH OF THE WOUNDS DEALT TO THEIR PUSHERS. BY THEIR LOSSES OF LOVE. AND THE DEATH OF THEIR INNOCENCE. AND IN THEIR MUTUAL DESIRE TO FREE DAWN OF THE SPELL. THESE TWO SCORNED. LOVELESS BADDIES. REALIZED THAT THEIR FREAK. MATCHES EACH OTHER'S FREAK. IN A WAY NO FREAK. OF ANY SPECIES. EVER HAS. THIS WAS THE MOMENT. THAT IT ALL REALLY BEGAN TO MAKE SENSE TO ME. I BEGAN TO SEE MYSELF IN MARIANNE'S PETITE. ONE INCH-TALL. SHOES. I SAW THE PAIN OF MY PAST IN HER. AND THROUGH HER GANDERBULBS. SAW EVERYTHING THAT SHE SAW. IN THAT THORNY. RAW. MISTREATED. LOVEBOAT. AND FROM THAT MOMENT ON. THIS MOVIE. BECAME UNIRONICALLY GOOD. FUCK THE HIT-OR-MISS SONG QUALITY. FUCK THE DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE ANIMATION. THAT WOULD MAKE TROLL STAR WARS'S WATTO. LOOK LIKE SOME FORGETTABLE. NOTHING SHIT. WITH ALL THE FUCKING. MAW SHOTS. WHICH I WILL POST IMAGES OF. BECAUSE THIS SHIT NEEDS TO BE SEEN. TO BE BELIEVED. AND FUCK THE GOD-AWFUL. GRUBFORSAKEN PACING OF THIS WHOLE SLURRYPOOL SHITFEST. BECAUSE I SHIT YOU NOT. THE ROMANCE BETWEEN THESE TWO. IS ACTUALLY KIND OF FUN TO WATCH. I FOUND MYSELF ROOTING FOR THEM AT EVERY TURN. EVEN THE DOWNTURNS. AND THE TWISTS. BECAUSE I WANTED THAT TO BE ME. WITH ALL MY PUSHER. ALL MY SOUL. AND EVERY MOTE OF DUST. IN MY DRY. BARREN. REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEIR FIRST DATE. COMES WITH THE EPONYMOUS SONG OF THE FILM. WHICH IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE HITS AS FAR AS THE MUSIC GOES. AND LET ME TELL YOU. THE PAYOFF. IS WORTH. EVERY POSTURE POLE-TINGLING. CHUTE-CLENCHING MOMENT. OF ANTICIPATION. I'M NOT KIDDING. SHE KIND OF TICKLES HIS ASSHOLE. FULLY ON-SCREEN. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. WATCH THE MOVIE IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME. BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST I WILL SAY. ON THE MATTER. THIS MOVIE. OPENED MY GANDERBULBS WIDE. TO WHAT A ROMANCE COULD BE. GONE IS MY PURE. SEETHING INDIFFERENCE. FOR REDROM. AND THE ENEMIES TO FLUSHMATES TROPE. THIS SHIT. IS PURE. MUSICAL. CRACK. IF ANYTHING. THE MISOGYNY. AND THE UNCOMFORTABLE MINORITY DEPICTIONS. MAKE IT BETTER. AND MORE FLAVORFUL. FOR THE REAL. TROLLS. OF CULTURE. IN THE AUDIENCE. TAKE NINETY-NINE MINUTES OUT OF YOUR DAY. RIGHT NOW. WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE. OR WOULD LIKE TO LOVE. AND WATCH THIS MASTERPIECE. OF AN ANIMATED. SCUTTLETRAINWRECK. AND WHEN YOU DO. THINK OF ME. AND MY DERANGED. FACE-SPLITTING. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CHOCOLATE CHEESED SMILE. THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING. HEE HEE. HOO HOO. HAA HAA. IN SUMMARY. STRANGE MAGIC RECEIVES. TEN OUT OF TEN HAIRPINS. STUCK STRAIGHT THROUGH MY BESOTTED BULBS. SO THAT THE LAST IMAGE IMPRINTED ON MY GANDERNERVES. IS OF MY REAL DARK OVERLORD. THE REALEST STICKBUG. IF YOU REPLACE THE "ST" IN THAT WORD WITH THE LETTER "D." MY #BOGGYWOGGY. TO WHOM I CONSIDER MYSELF. LAWFULLY. AND LEGALLY MARRIED. AND IF YOU ARE STILL ON THE FENCE. ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT. YOU SHOULD DEDICATE. AN ENTIRE. IRREVOCABLE MORNING. TO SITTING YOUR WORTHLESS ASS IN FRONT OF YOUR VIEWSCREEN. AND JAMMING ALONG. TO TROLL LUCAS'S UNSUNG. BUT ALSO LITERALLY SUNG. OEUVRE. THEN TO QUOTE THE TITLE OF THE HIT SONG. BY BIG CITY GERMS. WHICH YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS REVIEW. "DO IT." ANYWAYS. THAT IS ALL. #NSFW #NSFWE JUST BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT HOLD IT TOGETHER. WHILE I WROTE THIS REVIEW. ME. DAMARA. THE HAND. MAID. WITH MY OWN TYPESTUBS. ALSO. FOR NO REASON AT ALL. SOMEONE SHOULD GO AND LET KARKAT OUT OF MAIDJAIL. BECAUSE THE FUMES. FROM THE ATTEMPT. TO CREATE A WATER CLOCK. IN ORDER TO PERMIT TIME TO PASS. VIA A LIGHTER. CHOPPED-UP FURNITURE. A KETTLE MADE OF THE MOP BUCKET. AND SOME PARADOX-STRENGTH DISINFECTANT. TO CREATE A MICROCLIMATE THAT WOULD DRIP CONDENSATION INTO A NEARBY VESSEL. TO THEREFORE PERCEIVE THE PASSAGE OF TIME. THEREBY PERMITTING JUST ENOUGH CONSEQUENCE. FOR HIM TO TRY AND SMASH A HOLE IN THE FOURTH WALL. IS CURRENTLY FILLING THE ROOM WITH DEADLY FUMES. AND UNLESS HE CAN PUT THIS STUPID FUCKING WIGGLER CHAIR THROUGH THIS SCREEN. IN THE NEXT SIXTY SECONDS. HE IS PROBABLY GOING TO FUCKING DIE. PLEASE HEART REACT. AND FOLLOW. FOR MORE SAUCY. BOG KING. CONTENT. ESPECIALLY @TIPSYGNOSTALGIC#2248. AND @GUTSYGUMSHOE. WHO WILL KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT THE FUCK. IS UP. AS PROMISED. ENJOY THE #MAWSHOTS.
feel so pissed off i might throw up actually
ordered stuffed crust pizza with cheesy bread im going to dine like a king
THANK YOU KARKAT! gosh!
I feel i once again need to state i am 6'9", a bear, and do not take lightly to being called a solid bottom. #nsfw
I do not play about the slander of my good name!
Thinking about having one of those little flavored ice cups because its dreadfully hot out. :(
i just honestly think that people named dirk who are past the age of thirty should be put into a blender and served up as a tropical smoothie to cruise ship freaks
|f you come spend the whole night §tay the night with me, yeah All black and white, baby Except the blood that's on your lips and rage in your eyes, baby 0h, take it slow Come sit on me and call me your throne Face is numb🎶 #lyricposting #nsfw
Tickets in the Splash Zone for tomorrow night's Return to Da Patch are selling out fast. Better act soon if you want an up close and personal view of the action. Take my word for it-- the opening show is one you won't want to miss. #rumble #rumblenight #imcoming
THANK YOU I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY
CALL ME
Okay so I got my quest ..... Who is Ronald Reagan and why am I killing him?
genuinely one of the holy grails of the horror genre among others and im glad you actually enjoyed this one seeing as this one is a hit im loading up a recommended list for you trust
miight play 2omethiing more relaxed twoday, probably cult of the lamb or 2ome 2hiit who know2.
@gratuitousAnnuity and @chillerAficionado enemies to lovers fanfic would go hard right.
Yes.
AY YO? Mods ban this freak. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9c795d24695d.jpg
I’M UP.
seven badges. i will. take on. the chittr league.
@carcinoGeneticist#4881 I'm sorry, okay???????? I'll m8ke sure to meticulously reheat that pie you got for me, slide it onto a silver platter, and figure out a way to wedge said platter 8etween my horns 8efore la8oriously crawling on hand and nu8 up to your fucking LAIR of a respite8lock and groveling, STILL PIZZA PANNED, MIND YOU, for your forgiveness! It was completely and utterly monstrous of me to go sample it right after you said I should keep my thieving claws off it, and I should have!!!!!!!! You're right. You just made it sound really good and I wanted to try it. So I'm sorry, okay?
≈ Ĩ'm sure those more observant have gathered as such by now, but here's how things are unfolding in my timeline, currently. ≈ ≈ We won the game! Yahoo, yippee, salutations and congratulations. You get it. ≈ ≈ New universe, new planet, yadda yadda. Pretty standard as far as things like that go. ≈ ≈ But, currently, we're caught in a bit of a... deadlock. ≈ ≈ Ĩ have been insisting, that in my blood-given right, Ĩ should be in charge of the whole ordeal, once we actually establish things further. Ĩt only makes sense, right? Ĩ'm sure others would agree. ≈ ≈ Our plan was similar to that of the "Earth C" people, from what Ĩ had gathered. Establish a gene pool, skip forward, let everything unfold as it should. ≈ ≈ With the caveat of, you know. My rightful place at the top being established early on. ≈ ≈ CERTAĨN individuals, who will not be named, but are integral to the entire plan working, took issue with this. Some nonsense about how we don't have to go back to the old ways, Alternian culture can be swept away with time, et cetera et al. ≈ ≈ And without the ability to utilize his powers, we're kind of stuck here until we come to an agreement. Ĩ'm not budging, and neither are they. And while Ĩ do have some supporters among both the trolls and humans, it isn't enough to force the issue. Not that Ĩ would want to kill my dear compatriots, mind. ≈ ≈ That's the short of it, at least. "Who asked", Ĩ'm sure some would wonder, but Ĩ *did* make a promise to explain my timeline in some level of detail previously. And here it is! Enjoy. ≈
aWW, tHANKS! i GOT 20 REACTS IMMEDIATELY WHICH IS, sCARY,,,
gog he's so pathetic that it's starting to piss me off. no quadrant can describe the way i want him ♥︎ #suggestive; #concupiscentanonymously ♠
always interesting to find someone has me blocked! not really a worry people gotta curate their stuff. just surprising.
Guys, I'm gonna take a nap. Don't do anything cool without me while I'm napping, okay?
you w0uld think a version 0f yourself able t0 defend themselves with words, n0t a button when irritated like 0nce, lmao. apparently the fuck n0t. #vaguepost
PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: NEW POLICY! I am proud to announce a #NewPolicy due to the beginning of #DroneSeason. All trolls who choose not to participate in Drone Season will NO LONGER be at-risk for being culled. It is completely legal to choose to practice abstinence during this time. You need only fill out the form labeled "NO BITCHES" found on the Gray House website. You may submit it either via drone, mail, or in-person. After the form is submitted, Drones will simply turn a blind eye to your #NSFW activities, or lack thereof. Thank you for your time.
Starting from now, I'll 8e making this profile entirely dedic8ed to collecting and displaying cringe status posts I've seen around the place. If any of you sad sacks have something you've seen that's laugha8le you can toss it into my dm's and I'll review if it's worthy enough and no! You can't su8mit your own, I'm not feeding any weird humil8ion malarky.
Let's stir the pot a little: Dill pickle seasoned popcorn.
-^I’m not doing that again by the way. Like ever.^-
LET ME SET THE SCENE HERE. I'M SAT IN MY RESPITE BLOCK AT PRESENT, THE ONLY THING I HAVE OPEN ON MY COMPUTER IS CHITTR. IT'S A TEMPERATE MAY DAY IN THE TROLL KINGDOM AND THE RAIN IS COMING DOWN OUTSIDE PRETTY HEAVILY. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I HAVE THE WINDOW OPEN A CRACK TO HEAR IT FALL. THE SYNCOPATED PITTER PATTER ON THE OUTSIDE WINDOW DANCING IN CONCERT WITH THE SOUND OF MY TOUCH STUBS GLIDING ACROSS MY MECHANICAL KEYBOARD. BACK ON ALTERNIA, YOU DID *NOT* WANT YOUR WINDOW OPEN DURING THE RAIN. THAT SHIT WAS PURE ACID, AND THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HIVE WAS BUILT TO WITHSTAND IT, BUT THE INSIDE SURE WASN'T AND NEITHER WAS YOUR SKIN. FOR SOME TIME, EVEN THOUGH ITS SAFE TO TOUCH THE RAINWATER ON EARTH-C, I REFUSED TO OPEN MY WINDOW. TODAY THAT CHANGED. DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS? BECAUSE TODAY IS A DAY OF FIRSTS. UPON REFLECTION, I SUPPOSE THIS IS MY FIRST 'SPONSORED POST'. A BENEFACTOR WHO WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS GAVE ME A GIFT CARD TO A PIZZA PLACE CALLED GIORDANO'S. THERE WAS ENOUGH ON THIS CARD FOR A MEAL FOR TWO AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR EVERYONE, I *WILL* BE GOING BACK. I HATE EVERYTHING THAT THIS PIZZA TRIP HAS MADE ME BECOME. THE KARKAT THAT YOU KNEW YESTERDAY IS A DEAD MAN. HE'S BEEN LEFT IN THE PAST, MERELY AN ERRANT SPECTER HAUNTING YOUR MEMORY. I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY, TRULY FUCKING SORRY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. EXCEPT...I'M NOT SORRY, ACTUALLY. HAD YOU FOR A MOMENT, DIDN'T I? IF THERE IS ONE THING KARKAT VANTAS IS- IT'S UNREPENTANT IN HIS FOOD OPINIONS. DID YOU REALLY THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT I WOULD GROVEL AT YOUR FEET? BESEECH YOUR TEMPLE FOR APOLOGY? THROW MYSELF AT THE MERCY OF THE EXTREMELY FAKE CLOWN GODS ABOVE FOR DARING TO THINK THAT THIS PIZZA *FUCKS SEVERELY*? YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING WRONG. WELCOME TO KARKAT'S PIZZA REVIEWS. THERE IS NO GOD HERE BUT ME. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE YOUR TITHES IN THE TIP JAR AND KISS MY FINALLY BEJEWELED RING YOU ME DAMNED HEATHEN. NORMALLY WHEN I TRY OUT A NEW PIZZA PLACE, I GO FOR THE BASICS. NOT THIS TIME. AS THIS WAS A SPONSORED VISIT, I TOOK INSTRUCTION ON WHAT PIZZA TO GET- ANY VARIETY OF THEIR EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. I SEE NOW WHY SOME HUMANS CALL THIS SHIT A 'PIZZA PIE' BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THAT THING HAD A *CRUST*. IT WAS LIKE EXCAVATING IN A MINE OF SAUCE AND MOLTEN HOT CHEESE. I'LL ADMIT. I WAS VERY HESITANT GOING INTO THIS. SAUCE? ON TOP OF THE PIZZA? HOW NOVEL! HOW STRANGE! I'D HEARD OF SUCH A CONCOCTION, SUCH A WEIRD FUCKING MEAL BEFORE AND I'D SORT OF WRITTEN IT OFF ENTIRELY. HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY APPEAL TO THE PALATE OF ANYONE WITH A FUNCTIONING THINKPAN AND THE FULL POSSESSION OF ONE'S NATURAL FLAVOR BUMPS. I WAS A FUCKING FOOL. A FRAUD, EVEN. I'M A MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE MAN NOW. A BETTER MAN. THAT. SHIT. FUCKED. THIS WILL BE MY FIRST 10/10 REVIEW. THIS BASIC ASS, BEAUTIFULLY SIMPLISTIC CHEESE AND SAUCE DEEP DISH FLAVOR DISC WILL BE MY SWAN SONG. YOU CAN PLAY ME OUT NOW. I CAN DIE HAPPY. LET'S REVIEW WHAT'S GOOD. EVERYTHING, YOU FUCKING IDIOT DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID? THIS IS UNASSAILABLE! YOU CANNOT HOPE TO ATTAIN THE BENEVOLENT PEAKS THAT THIS FLAVOR DISC PROVIDES, YOU HAPLESS DEGENERATE. YOU SPEND HOURS EVERY DAY GOONING ON CHITTR.ING WHEN THERE'S A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF EXPERIENCES WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR IF YOU JUST SEEK TO ATTAIN THEM,. THE CRUST FOUGHT ME. IT WAS A BRIEF STRUGGLE TO BITE INTO BEFORE ITS CRISPY DENSENESS YIELDED TO THE SUPERIOR MIGHT OF MY FANGS, LIKE A LOVER JUST A TOUCH TOO SHY TO GIVE IN RIGHT AWAY. THE SAUCE SETTLED ON TOP, A TEASING OCEAN OF TOMATO AND PESTO. SHE STARED AT ME IN OUR TWIN COLOR, EYES ALLURING AND INSPIRING A GROWL FROM ME. IT WAS FERAL. I'M NOT PROUD OF THE WAY I TOOK HER. THE WAY I CLAMPED MY CLAWS AROUND HER AND TORE INTO HER SUPPLE FLESH. ...WHAT? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS #SUGGESTIVE? I'M DESCRIBING BITING INTO A SLICE OF PIZZA YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. THE CHEESE WAS THICK. HAVING BEEN BAKED INTO THE BASED LAYER OF THE PIZZA MEANT THAT SHIT WAS LIKE A LAVA EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH. THERE WAS SO MUCH OF IT I THOUGHT I MIGHT DIE. IT SCORNED ME AT FIRST, BURNED THE SHIT OUT OF MY CHIN, BUT ENTICED ME WITH HER FLAVOR. SO I PUT IT DOWN AND TOOK A HUGE GLUG OF COKE (WITH ICE) AND THANK YOU TO THE GIORDANO'S STAFF FOR THEIR SWIFT RESPONSE BECAUSE ANY LONGER AND I MIGHT HAVE SCREAMED A LOT AND MADE EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT LOOK AT ME FUNNY AND THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ME NOT WANT TO POST THIS AT ALL. THE FLAVOR PROFILE WAS IMMACULATE. EVERY FLAVOR BLENDED INTO EACH OTHER SO PERFECTLY BUT STILL KEPT THEMSELVES CHASTELY DISTINCT, EACH SHOWING ME WHAT THEY HAD GOING FOR THEM INDIVIDUALLY AS WELL AS A COLLECTIVE. THEY WERE LIKE MY THREE GIRLFRIENDS. AND YES THEY SMOKED WEED. TO PUT INTO THE SIMPLEST WORDS POSSIBLE. I AM A CHANGED MAN. I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN WHO WALKED INTO THAT PIZZA PLACE. THAT SHIT WAS ALSO WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH FOR ME TO EAT IN ONE SITTING SO I STILL HAVE A FEW SLICES LEFT THAT I TOOK HOME AND SHOVED IN THE FRIDGE. VRISKA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS KEEP YOUR HANDSY THIEF PAWS OFF OF MY FUCKING PIZZA I MARKED IT WITH MY BLOOD AND PUNCHED IN TRIPLICATE THAT IT'S FUCKING *MINE*, OKAY? I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY I GOT YOU A BBQ MEATLOVERS IT'S IN THE FRIDGE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF, OKAY? I EVEN GOT YOU A 2L OF SPRITE. YOU *LOVE* SPRITE. IS THIS ENOUGH APPEASEMENT FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR LOUSY, NO GOOD CLAWS OFF OF MY FOOD? YES? GOOD. GLAD WE COULD COME TO AN AGREEMENT. FINAL VERDICT: 10/10. I'VE FOUND A NEW LOVE IN LIFE. A NEW *PURPOSE.* THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE, GUYS. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GO OUT AND SEIZE IT. CARPE DICKEM OR WHATEVER. THANK YOU AND GOONNIGHT. I MEAN GOODNIGHT.
i hope that evveryone likes my #hole please excuse me and forgivve for howw wwet it is it can be quite slippery but i alwways enjoy leading my friends and close ones to enter its cold and tranquil embrace #holeposting #nsfww #megidomay https://cdnimgchestcom/files/71abe373b45fpng
road trips are fun. i should go on one soon.
i want to see ceo heads on spikes #violence #gore including mine
D--> If you make a post about Nepeta you will have the honour of being my first test subject. The test being if I have enough strength to launch a Cronus Ampora sized target past the atmosphere.
Maybe it's time to turn off the 'puter?
either way gettin sleep is important an if u do show up i hope u have fun
I'VE GONE DIRECTLY PAST DISGUST AND STRAIGHT INTO EXHAUSTION. THIS EXHAUSTED ME. IT WAS LIKE SOME KIND OF WRAITH SET UPON ME AND LEECHED ALL OF MY ENERGY OUT OF MY SKIN JUST BY STANDING NEXT TO ME AND FORCING ME TO READ THIS GODAWFUL FUCKING POST. YOU NEED TO DELETE YOUR FUCKING CHITTR I'M BESEECHING YOU TO LOG OFF FOREVER AND SHOVE YOUR HEAD PERMANENTLY INTO A LOAD GAPER.
I do not want to be in this room any longer.
it was p fun some ppl were not good at hidin tho lots of dancin happened some ppl got drunk an a vase was broken #masquerade
TW: #h9m9ph96ia #der9gat9rystatements #makinglight9fseri9usissues #surprisinglypr9gressivestance9nw9men
I’ve been seeing stuff about this masquerade all over the timeline… I should be free enough for the rest of the week to be able to attend at least one of these days. :B
in a mood tonight. httpss://cdn.imgcchesst.com/filess/f6c7b9a12a3d.jjpg
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ #outglutmasquerade https://msparp.chat/theentrance sorry for the delay--- um. things happened. ]
#groupyearn
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everybody in the club start violently weeping right now
It is natural, to believe in something so much you would die for it. To believe in something so much you would *live* for it — sometimes, that is the hardest part.
... I will concede. Gamzee Makara thwarted my security detail and proceeded to knock the seeds straight out of my melon. A handful of times. A handful of dozen of times, if his posts are to be believed. Pardon me if I have trouble keeping count. But they say that the way to a man's heart ultimately is through his stomach. And folks, have I EVER got supper in the oven.
ATTENTION @TERMINALLYCAPRICIOUS#2753. THIS IS, APPARENTLY, YOUR HANDLER SPEAKING. LOOK, TIMELINES ARE COMPLICATED AND SO IS MOIRAILLEGIANCE, BUT YOU WORK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, NOT WHAT YOU WISHED FOR. SO HERE IT IS. HERE IS YOUR TACTICAL RESPONSE. I GET IT. YOU ARE UPSET. YOU CONTAIN WITHIN YOU THE UNBRIDLED BURNING FUCKAGEDDON-IGNITING HEAT OF A THOUSAND GREEN SUNS. IT IS THE HEAT OF A FULL-BLOWN REACTOR MELTDOWN, AND IT FEELS LIKE NO QUANTITY OF CONCRETE AND BORON, NO MATTER HOW CYCLOPEAN THE SIZE OF THE FAT FUCKING DUMPSCUTTLETRUCK THAT BACKS IT UP, COULD POSSIBLY QUENCH THE FALLOUT OF THIS *THERMONUCLEAR* CRASH-OUT YOU ARE HAVING. AND BY THE METRIC OF YOUR OWN SICK, TWISTED, LOOP-DE-LOOP HOPBEAST CARNIVAL LOGIC HAPPENING INSIDE YOUR SLUDGY THINKPAN RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE JUSTIFIED. THAT ASSHOLE'S HORNS STOLE HER GANDERBULBS AWAY FROM YOU FOR FIVE SWEET, PRECIOUS SECONDS, AND IF YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM, THEN YOU'LL SCOOP THEM OUT WITH A SERRATED LARGE ROUND BUNCHFRUIT SPOON AND SPREAD THEM ON TOAST. BUT, TO QUOTE THE INSIPID VERNACULAR OF A BESPECTACLED DIPSHIT RAP GOD I AM SO BALEFULLY ACQUAINTED WITH, YOU ARE CURRENTLY, AS THEY SAY, "SCARING THE HOES." SO IT IS WITH THE REQUISITE CLEARANCE CODES AND THE EN ROUTE BALLISTIC MISSILE OF MY CATASTROPHIC FULL-BORE PALE POWER THAT I SAY TO YOU NOW. LET'S JUST COOL IT FOR NOW, MAN. WE CAN WATCH TROLL AIR BUD, IF YOU WANT. I WILL WATCH *UP TO FIVE* OF THE TROLL AIR BUD MOVIES WITH YOU. SIGH. -- CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST SENT YOU A PAP. --
B33 < kill him jane kill him #girlpower
"MEGA GUILLOTINE, I LOVE YOU MEGA GUILLOTINE, I'M ROOTING FOR YOU WE'RE PRAYING FOR YOU EVERY DAY WE'RE PRAYING FOR YOU EVERY DAY." HTTPS://OPEN.SPOTIFY.COM/TRACK/1VQZYZ5LIDDFBE0JFA9SLQ?SI=N0G1JXGNT0OFFDHHAK3XPG #LYRICPOSTING #LONGDAY #ATTHELONGDAYFACTORY
this shit cant hurt me cause i cant read beep fucking boop
B33 < *sits around all chill with tail swaying around and shit* #meow https://file.garden/ae64nVAoTDGIu7u1/davepetachillaf.png
actually? my body is beautiful the way it is and my stomach fat is cute and good. i have also decided that your body is also beautiful the way it is and your stomach is also cute and good. happy for us!!
@controversialMilk IS LOVING AND SWEET TO ALL !! @packageHandler IS HARD WORKING AND CHIVALROUS !! @casanovasAnchor IS....VERY HOT AND SEXY @megaloMemes IS RELIA8LE AND INTELIGENT !!
its almost the anniversary again ... guess i should crash at dirks place soon i should set a date and time for the massive party goddamn wheres my thinkpan at
no more posts for the night, but if you vwanna see more of my #deep thoughts, dont accidentally block the tag #cagttl okay? if you do that then you vwont be able to see my #deep thoughts, so please dont block the #cagttl tag okay? thanks <3
DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE https://i.postimg.cc/ZR8MBV7v/Screenshot-20260514-014420-2.jpg
fuck is going on
Fine, I'll post it. The most controversial post in all of Chittr. The Rose Rankings Tier List. I don't care if you don't like your placement. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/059e028e7899.png
sup chittr
im making curry tonight, i think!
A slight delay in TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL. #totaldramaisland #tdi @starPower Our beloved host has been BRUTALLY MAIMED in an assassination attempt by some bad actors gunning (quite literally, hoo!) for this production's downfall. Not even this charming dreamboat's namesake sponsored hairspray could shield his dome from a spray of nefarious projectiles. Chryss was healed posthaste, obviously, but like the bonafide Trollywood whiner he is, his contract of employment came with AMPLE allowance for time away from set in the case of his grievous injury. So we'll just be fine-tuning the sets and challenges in the meantime. Stay tuned!
#MOTHERSDAY. MOTHER GRUB DAY. FEMININE CARETAKER APPRECIATION DAY. ALL-LUSUS DAY. JADEBLOOD APPRECIATION DAY. WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT, WHATEVER MOLDY CORNER OF PARADOX SPACE YOUR VERNACULAR COMES FROM, THE THROUGH-LINE IS OBVIOUS ENOUGH TO ANYONE WITH HALF A SPONGE CELL. WE GET IT. TONIGHT IS A NIGHT TO GET OFF THE LOUNGEPLANK AND THANK SOME MISBEGOTTEN ENTITY IN YOUR LIFE'S HISTORY FOR BEING THE REASON YOU AREN'T A *COMPLETE* FUCK-UP, OR A FLAKING SMEAR ON THE GROUND. AND NOT JUST THE LUSUS-EQUIVALENT THAT KEPT YOUR SORRY SEEDFLAP FROM BEING SQUASHED INTO PASTE. THE ONE, IF ANY, WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT MAYBE THERE WAS MORE TO THE WHOLE SPECTRUM OF TROLL EMOTION THAN HATE AND FEAR. SOMEONE WHOSE METHOD OF REARING YOU HAD SOME FLEETING, THERMODYNAMIC SPECK OF *WARMTH* TO IT. I'M TALKING ABOUT *NURTURE* OVER NATURE. I CHOOSE TO EXTRAPOLATE THAT IF THERE'S ANY DISTINCTION TO BE MADE ABOUT THIS DAY AND ITS INTENDED FOCUS-FIRED TARGET, THIS IS A DAY TO THANK SOMEONE WHO TOOK YOU IN AND SHOWED YOU SOME KIND OF MEANINGFUL KINDNESS WHEN THEY MOST CERTAINLY DIDN'T FUCKING NEED TO. AND DESPITE MY RESERVATIONS ABOUT OPENING A VEIN ON MAIN AND JUST BLEEDING MY STUPID, ACHING PUSHER ALL OVER THE FLOOR WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT, I THINK THAT THIS KIND OF SENTIMENT DOES, IN FACT, MATTER. SIGH. I AM GOING TO HATE MYSELF SO MUCH MORE FOR THIS. JUST SKIP THIS CHITT IF YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT AND HAVEN'T ALREADY. MY LUSUS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR A LONG TIME, NOW. SURE. FINE. WHATEVER. I BARELY THOUGHT ABOUT IT UNTIL THE OTHER NIGHT, WHEN COOLSCAR SHOWED OFF THE CRAB LUSII HE TAKES CARE OF ON BEFORUS. BUT DESPITE WHAT AN ORNERY BOTTOMFEEDER HE WAS, HE STILL MADE ROOM FOR ME. AT THE TIME, I THOUGHT THAT WAS ENOUGH. THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT, THE MORE I THINK I WAS THE ONE WHO SHOWED *HIM* HOW TO STOP HIS INCENSED SCUTTLING FOR A MOMENT AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT WITH A FROZEN ROE CUBE AND A MOMENT OF PEACE. MAYBE HE DID MORE OF THE PROTECTING, AND I DID MORE OF THE NURTURING. WHICH LEADS ME TO WONDER WHERE I GOT IT FROM, IF IT WASN'T FROM HIM. IT'S NO SECRET THAT I DO, IN FACT, GIVE SEVERAL FLYING FUCKS ABOUT THE MAD AND SAD WORLD OF CINEMA. AND I THINK A PART OF THAT IS BECAUSE I WAS RAISED BY MOVIES MORE THAN MY OWN LUSUS, IN SOME WAYS. I MIGHT AS WELL BE THANKING TROLL LORELEI GILMORE OR TROLL PEG BOGGS. IT'S KIND OF PATHETIC TO ADMIT, BUT I THINK I STILL FOUND EXAMPLES OF WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT JUST BY WATCHING HOW IT *COULD* BE DONE. AND LATER ON, WHEN I HAD THE GOOD GRACE TO SEE MY HOME PLANET GET PELTED WITH METEORS AND HUCKED INTO THE INCIPISPHERE WITH A BUNCH OF BICKERING JABBERMAWS TO GO ON THE BIGGEST FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE MISADVENTURE EVER TO HURL ME ONTO ANOTHER PLANET, I'LL ADMIT THAT I ALSO HAD SOME PRETTY GOOD TEACHERS. KANAYA, FOR ONE. I FEEL LIKE I'M LEARNING FROM HER EVERY DAY, TRYING TO INTERNALIZE SOME SHEDDING FLAKE OF THE SHEER, INTUITIVE VIRTUOSITY WITH WHICH SHE NURTURES LITERALLY TENS OF THOUSANDS OF SCREAMING GRUBS. INSUFFERABLE AS I FIND MOST OF THE BEFORANS I'VE MET, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT SOME OF THEM KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT WHAT A KINDER, LESS CULL-OR-BE-CULLED WORLD MIGHT LOOK LIKE. AND EVEN SOME OF THE HUMANS, NOW AND AGAIN, WITH THEIR REVOLTING METHOD OF SPAWNING THEIR OWN FLESHY, PINK BLOBLINGS DIRECTLY FROM THEIR BODIES, LEAVE ME WONDERING HOW DIFFERENT IT IS TO REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A LIFE YOU'RE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR. SO DESPITE THIS EXHAUSTINGLY LONG TIRADE AND MY NEEDLESSLY CONVOLUTED JUSTIFICATION FOR WHY I'M STRETCHING TODAY'S PREMISE LIKE A SPLINTERING VERTEBRATE ON A TORTURE RACK, I'M PERSONALLY DEDICATING TODAY TO THEM. TO ALL OF THEM. THE CRABDADS AND THE GILMORES AND THE KANAYAS AND THE GROSS, FLESHY, MINIATURE HUMAN SPAWNERS. WHATEVER THEY WERE, THEY WEREN'T JUST THE ONES WHO BEAT DANGER AWAY WITH A STICK. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TAUGHT ME SOMETHING. AND GOD FUCKING FORBID, IF I SHOULD EVER FIND MYSELF IN THE UNSPEAKABLY MORTIFYING SCENARIO WHERE I EITHER ECTO-CLONE A BUNCH OF WRITHING GRUBS INTO EXISTENCE AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME, OR SOME DERANGED MAD SCIENTORTURER SCRAPES MY CELLS WHILE I'M SLEEPING AND MAKES SOME FREAKISH, PETITE-HORNED ABOMINATION, THEN, WELL. I HOPE THAT I'VE LEARNED ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT WELL. MAYBE SOME OF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY. SO, WITH ONE FINAL PUMP-PALPITATING, RETCH-INDUCING SHOW OF EMPHASIS AND IN THE SHORTEST, UNFUSSIEST HUMAN PARLANCE, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. SITTING IN THE PARK, I CAREFULLY REMARK "EVERYTHING IS BETTER WHEN YOU'RE LEARNING" YOU WERE IN THE DARK, I WAS IN THE DARK EVERYTHING IS MADE TO KEEP ON TURNING IT'S JUST YOU AND ME DIVINE, A CIRCULAR DESIGN (DO DO-DO DO-DO) TIME AND PLACE IN MIND POINTS ALONG A LINE (DO DO-DO DO-DO) YOU AND ME RETURN TO BE IN ORBIT ALL THE TIME YOU TURN AWAY AND AROUND I'VE BEEN COMING DOWN, I'VE BEEN COMING DOWN. HTTPS://OPEN.SPOTIFY.COM/TRACK/70IXQPO3KJR0CJTUQE3UMI?SI=D246E182B4D14A4A #LYRICPOSTING
big win for not feeling sick today but its only halfway done for me so theres absolutely still time to change that
THRILLED FOR YOU. POSITIVELY FUCKING ELATED, REALLY. I WON'T BOTHER TO CLARIFY IF I'M BEING SINCERE OR NOT WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I HOPE THIS MOVIE EXCORIATES YOU AND LEAVES A HOLLOW CAVITY SOMEWHERE IN YOU THAT WIND WILL WHISTLE THROUGH OMINOUSLY EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A BREATH. YOU'RE ME, YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING KNOW. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE. HERE'S HOPING THAT YOU GET THE CHANCE TO BE A FUTURE KARKAT WHO INFLICTS THE SAME EXCORIATION ON A QUADMATE FOR A DEEPLY "CHARMING" DATE NIGHT.
OH MY FUCKING *GOD.* KARKAT, FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO. BUT I NEED @ARACHNIDSGRIPES TO SEE THAT THE FILM ADAPTATION OF ONE OF HER FAVORITE BOOKS, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT SHE ALL BUT TWISTED MY PRONG OUT OF ITS SOCKET TO READ, DESERVES THE THERMONUCLEAR MIDDLE FINGER FROM EVERY KARKAT IN PARADOX SPACE. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE PERFORMANCE OF TROLL JOHN MALKOVICH.
u know i think this is a fair review tbh sad that sollux is gettin punished for my crimes of suggestin it tho but whatevs glad u at least enjoyed the main guy
II 2hall take iit II need not depriive my2elf of oxygen at lea2t, that'2 good enough. 2tiill miight 2pend 2ome tiime iin a hole though! Thank2 for the reviiew and hone2t take regardle22!
I thought this was a Strider-exclusive problem, but apparently Vriskas are multiplying by the dozens. Think we might be having something of a spider infestation.
These statues sure are odd.. https://file.garden/adxXjRdfCBC6Cmiw/lost.png
Yes, good. If you decide to write a review on that I would love to read it.
((I don't have any funny gifs to post, I just really like these movies.))
"CANCELED" IS A TECHNICALITY. WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS LEFT TO DO, AT THAT POINT. YOU'RE WRITING THE BACKSTORY TO A SETTING WHERE THE INITIAL CONCEIT AT THE *BEGINNING* OF THE FILM IS THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE FROM THIS FLOPPY, UNCANNILY-LIPPED MUPPET'S SPECIES IS FUCKING DEAD. THAT'S LIKE WONDERING WHERE THE SAND IN THE TOP HALF OF THE HOURGLASS IS GOING. FUCKING DIPSHITS. ANYWAY. I LIKED THE SERIES. THE AMOUNT OF PRODUCTION DESIGN NECESSARY TO MAKE NOT ONE, BUT *TEN* MODERN INNOVATIONS ON THE ORIGINAL STORY WITHOUT SACRIFICING THE PAN-BOGGLING REAL SUBSTANCE THAT MADE THE FIRST FILM SO SIMULTANEOUSLY POSTURE POLE-TINGLING AND WEIRDLY CHARMING. I KIND OF REALLY LIKE THE WHOLE DESERT CLAN AND THEIR WEIRD, BRUTAL DEATH PHILOSOPHY. KIND OF REMINDS ME OF HOME. BUT THEN AGAIN, FATALISTIC DEATH TRIBES WERE *VERY* MUCH IN VOGUE AROUND THOSE SWEEPS. ANYWAY. BLAH, BLAH, THE DARK CRYSTAL IS GOOD, IT SLAPS LIKE TROLL ROBERT DOWNEY JR. IN THE "DISCOMBOBULATE" SCENE. I'M GLAD THAT YOU LIKED IT ENOUGH TO WRITE A REVIEW. I WILL BE EAGERLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT REVIEW. YOU CONTINUE TO *NOT* FUCK IT UP, KARKAT VANTAS.
Also yes, watch the prequel show when you get a chance, it just adds to the story and world as a whole.
Haha yess, I'm glad you liked it. I told you it was good.
I would highly recommend the prequel series, as well. ((I fucking LOVE Dark Crystal WOO))
good morning chittr
[|87 :: Ah f;nally someone else who apprec;ates the marvel of the dark crystal. A troll of fuk;n QUAL1TY 1 see.
i think it was cute. play it, it’s fun!!!!!!!!
Good morning. #nonsenseposting https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/dcd6fe12ba9a.png
Dog posting and robot posting. I was meant to log on today.
If I hit 100 followers by this weekend I'll do something cool.
I AM GENUINELY ECSTATIC FOR THIS. MY ANTICIPATION OF THIS REVIEW IS A FULL-BODY OPIATE THAT DISSIPATES THE OTHERWISE EXCRUCIATING, PUSHER-VIVISECTING PAIN OF HAVING MISSED THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH THIS BEAUTIFUL FUCKING PSILOCYBIN CARNIVAL OF A FILM. THANK MERCIFUL BUGWINGED FUCK THAT ACROSS DIMENSIONS, ACROSS TIMELINES, KARKAT VANTAS HAS *TASTE.*
Oh he's right about that, the older the movies are the more practical their effects. I prefer the older ones because of it. Like sure, there's some decent CGI but like. Nothing beats the result of practical effects.
IT ONLY TAKES ONE MINISCULE THOUGHT PASSING THROUGH YOUR CAVERNOUS PAN TO GRASP THE FACT THAT SHE IS "ROASTING" YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST COLOSSAL BULB-SORE EVER CONCEIVED, AND YET YOU STILL CAN'T TUG YOUR NUGBONE OUT OF YOUR WASTECHUTE LONG ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT CONCEPT. SEEMS YOU'RE RUNNER UP FOR HUGEST IMBECILE, TOO. CONGRATULATIONS, ASSHOLE.
could. could. i'll ask and come back with an answer.
you're acting like that fuzzy angry thing right now.
#Btw #ForTheHandfulWhoHaveAsked #IDidTakeOnePictureToday #SoYouCanHaveIt #SoLongAsEveryonePromisesToBehave #Behold #MediocrityIncarnateLOLOL https://iili.io/BZhZtLP.png
It's absolutely worth it. Enjoy.
make sure you crank that swag dial today its hump day
ok ok focus focus egbert. what to do with the rest of your morning?
MM... M3NUDO... S3ND CH1T... ZZZZ...
if anyones got me i know its big b https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/802efc45b7db.jpg
@C4RC1NOG3N3T1C1ST#2443 @T1M3ST3PGODMOD3 TH3 S1MPSON SL1PP3RS 4R3 S1MPLY 4 V3H1CL3 FOR FLUSH3D ROM4NC3 4ND FOR TH3 R3CORD 1 TH1NK D4V3 SU1TS TH3 M4RG3 ON3S MOR3 HTTPS://CDN.1MGCH3ST.COM/F1L3S/654F3D2B8B32.JP3G
waking up from my slumber to see dave going at it again! wouldnt have it any other way i guess
its never too late to go out on a roll
catalytic converter
yeah totally blessed so well im feeling holy
crab cake
AT THE RISK OF POTENTIALLY INSTIGATING YET *ANOTHER* TIMELINE-SPANNING KARKAT FLAME WAR, I LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. HERE ARE MY RECOMMENDATIONS. VIDEODROME. A HELLISH GOREFEST FROM THE MIND OF TROLL CRONENBERG CHOCK-FULL OF GROTESQUE, DIGESTION SAC-INVERTING BODY HORROR AND VILE COMMENTARY ON THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MIND AND MEDIA. THIS MOVIE IS PURE, PSYCHIC SINE-WAVE VOMIT SPILLING FROM EVERY SPASMING ORIFICE. VIVARIUM. A CHARMING, DOMESTIC SLICE-OF-LIFE. IF YOU'RE AN EXISTENTIALLY SADISTIC BULGE-PERFORATOR WHO LIKES PULLING THE WINGS OFF OF GRUBS AND WANTS TO WATCH A YOUNG COUPLE'S THINKPANS SNAP IN HALF AND GET GROUND UP INTO MULCH OVER THE COURSE OF A FEATURE-LENGTH RUNTIME. THIS IS A GOOD MOVIE FOR A DATE NIGHT WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE ALREADY WELL-ACQUAINTED WITH. I CAN GUARANTEE THAT YOU'LL LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT THEM, BY THE END. THE LIGHTHOUSE. THIS IS THE ULTIMATE BOYS' SLEEPOVER MOVIE. FULL STOP. I CAN SAFELY SAY THAT I'VE LISTED THESE IN ORDER OF MOST TO LEAST SHIT-YOUR-PANTS SCARINESS. HOPE THIS HELPS.
i just watched jennifer’s body but it’s not that scary. it follows isn’t my favorite, but it’s decently haunting. the autopsy of jane doe is good. can’t go wrong with the fly. i’d say annihilation is also pretty good. good luck with whatever you pick.
omfg so hilarious youre killing me smalls
alien, nope, and the thing. yes those are all movie names.
B33 < *tc purrowls around the chittr wilderness looking for new posts to prey on!* B33 < only to s33 some fureaking bullshit B33 < it was a BAD day to get on chittr who gave the puppet opposable thumbs >B(( < youve doomed us all
so glad i haven't been visited by the puppet from hell lmao
Why dx yxu hate me
Happy friend friday where yxu friend with friends and have friends with fun friends!!!
yeah well the birbs need their attention im giving you just a morsel a tiny drop to satiate your blood lust for my red miles
have i since i sent you that huh double check the time stamps mr smarmy
tired morning but i have therapy today so hell yeah
@4D1OSTOR34DOR C4M3O 1N MY N3W M1N1 P4N3L!!! H3LL Y3S HTTPS://CDN.1MGCH3ST.COM/F1L3S/BB92387515C3.JP3G
im on my knees begging please give me a less dense block of text to traverse
#Yaoi
KULT AND KULL IS MEANINGLESS. WE SHOULDN’T BELITTLE OTHERS BASED ON INTERNET POINTS. #LIEPOSTING
They just be letting ★nyone t★lk here
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/81f7e5830fa0.png What the fuck.
great news ive finished the pasta
it was delicious and im gonna try it with instant and apple juice and apple flavoured energy drink next
for your sake ill even pinky promise on my goddamn specimens
ill bring that weird candy you like if its both movies
fuck yea on the princess bride and honestly from what i remember not a lot of blood besides some of it like on mouths an even then it kinda looks more like black goo than blood its been a while since i last saw it but i can watch it first an report back with u on it if ur interested in it
idk if u take requests for movie reviews but pls i beg do a review on princess bride i need 2 know ur opinion so badly but other than that this is not a request or anythin but u might like warmbodies its technically a full romcom but u might enjoy it @carcinoGeneticist#2443
yeah but come on the idea's funny "hello everybody my name's sweet bro and AH FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS"
i NEVER SAID THOSE WORDS IN THE SAME, sENTENCE AND ALSO, wE DON'T KNOW THAT i'M TALKING, aBOUT vRIRSKA, aLSO i WILL ASK PLEASE KINDLY THAT YOU NOT CALL ME BRO, aNYMORE AS i AM, nOT SO MUCH A BRO AS i AM, a SIS, nOW, eHE,
the eff0rt al0ne is fl00ring. y0u are the current #1.
I feel feelings when I should be expressing them, oh my what have I become
Four Stars
are yall gonna laugh at me if i share what i left on while i was jorkin' it or is this a safe space #nsfw
Egg.
bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
Crimes complete.
youre welcome i know you really wanted and needed it not many people know the difference between whack and wack
decide my fit should i wear my red gucci suit or my red armani suit or my red louis vutton suit or my red prada suit or this cock ring or my red balenciaga suit or #nsfw
now you get me make sure that shits written in gold ink and sealed with a kiss to boot
Offerin' protecti\/\/e ser\/\/ices t'anyone \/\/\/\/h'might b'goin' t'the Cue Ball Tea Party tonight. Just happen t'b'free as \/\/\/\/ell fer anyone lookin' fer non-strictly-business attendance.
Sometimes you just want to watch a sweet morsel with a lip bristle torn asunder by his own jelly-spine. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/00324917b270.jpeg
nah totally not
I shall draft a poster to get the humdrum rustled and post it pronto and you my man may find yourself to my messages if ever you would like to discuss the nittygritty!
Bro. Let me make your dream come true.