♥ liked by @carcinoGeneticist
i just honestly think that people named dirk who are past the age of thirty should be put into a blender and served up as a tropical smoothie to cruise ship freaks
|f you come spend the whole night §tay the night with me, yeah All black and white, baby Except the blood that's on your lips and rage in your eyes, baby 0h, take it slow Come sit on me and call me your throne Face is numb🎶 #lyricposting #nsfw
Tickets in the Splash Zone for tomorrow night's Return to Da Patch are selling out fast. Better act soon if you want an up close and personal view of the action. Take my word for it-- the opening show is one you won't want to miss. #rumble #rumblenight #imcoming
THANK YOU I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY
CALL ME
Okay so I got my quest ..... Who is Ronald Reagan and why am I killing him?
genuinely one of the holy grails of the horror genre among others and im glad you actually enjoyed this one seeing as this one is a hit im loading up a recommended list for you trust
miight play 2omethiing more relaxed twoday, probably cult of the lamb or 2ome 2hiit who know2.
@gratuitousAnnuity and @chillerAficionado enemies to lovers fanfic would go hard right.
Yes.
AY YO? Mods ban this freak. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9c795d24695d.jpg
seven badges. i will. take on. the chittr league.
@carcinoGeneticist#4881 I'm sorry, okay???????? I'll m8ke sure to meticulously reheat that pie you got for me, slide it onto a silver platter, and figure out a way to wedge said platter 8etween my horns 8efore la8oriously crawling on hand and nu8 up to your fucking LAIR of a respite8lock and groveling, STILL PIZZA PANNED, MIND YOU, for your forgiveness! It was completely and utterly monstrous of me to go sample it right after you said I should keep my thieving claws off it, and I should have!!!!!!!! You're right. You just made it sound really good and I wanted to try it. So I'm sorry, okay?
≈ Ĩ'm sure those more observant have gathered as such by now, but here's how things are unfolding in my timeline, currently. ≈ ≈ We won the game! Yahoo, yippee, salutations and congratulations. You get it. ≈ ≈ New universe, new planet, yadda yadda. Pretty standard as far as things like that go. ≈ ≈ But, currently, we're caught in a bit of a... deadlock. ≈ ≈ Ĩ have been insisting, that in my blood-given right, Ĩ should be in charge of the whole ordeal, once we actually establish things further. Ĩt only makes sense, right? Ĩ'm sure others would agree. ≈ ≈ Our plan was similar to that of the "Earth C" people, from what Ĩ had gathered. Establish a gene pool, skip forward, let everything unfold as it should. ≈ ≈ With the caveat of, you know. My rightful place at the top being established early on. ≈ ≈ CERTAĨN individuals, who will not be named, but are integral to the entire plan working, took issue with this. Some nonsense about how we don't have to go back to the old ways, Alternian culture can be swept away with time, et cetera et al. ≈ ≈ And without the ability to utilize his powers, we're kind of stuck here until we come to an agreement. Ĩ'm not budging, and neither are they. And while Ĩ do have some supporters among both the trolls and humans, it isn't enough to force the issue. Not that Ĩ would want to kill my dear compatriots, mind. ≈ ≈ That's the short of it, at least. "Who asked", Ĩ'm sure some would wonder, but Ĩ *did* make a promise to explain my timeline in some level of detail previously. And here it is! Enjoy. ≈
aWW, tHANKS! i GOT 20 REACTS IMMEDIATELY WHICH IS, sCARY,,,
gog he's so pathetic that it's starting to piss me off. no quadrant can describe the way i want him ♥︎ #suggestive; #concupiscentanonymously ♠
always interesting to find someone has me blocked! not really a worry people gotta curate their stuff. just surprising.
Guys, I'm gonna take a nap. Don't do anything cool without me while I'm napping, okay?
you w0uld think a version 0f yourself able t0 defend themselves with words, n0t a button when irritated like 0nce, lmao. apparently the fuck n0t. #vaguepost
PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: NEW POLICY! I am proud to announce a #NewPolicy due to the beginning of #DroneSeason. All trolls who choose not to participate in Drone Season will NO LONGER be at-risk for being culled. It is completely legal to choose to practice abstinence during this time. You need only fill out the form labeled "NO BITCHES" found on the Gray House website. You may submit it either via drone, mail, or in-person. After the form is submitted, Drones will simply turn a blind eye to your #NSFW activities, or lack thereof. Thank you for your time.
Starting from now, I'll 8e making this profile entirely dedic8ed to collecting and displaying cringe status posts I've seen around the place. If any of you sad sacks have something you've seen that's laugha8le you can toss it into my dm's and I'll review if it's worthy enough and no! You can't su8mit your own, I'm not feeding any weird humil8ion malarky.
Let's stir the pot a little: Dill pickle seasoned popcorn.
-^I’m not doing that again by the way. Like ever.^-
LET ME SET THE SCENE HERE. I'M SAT IN MY RESPITE BLOCK AT PRESENT, THE ONLY THING I HAVE OPEN ON MY COMPUTER IS CHITTR. IT'S A TEMPERATE MAY DAY IN THE TROLL KINGDOM AND THE RAIN IS COMING DOWN OUTSIDE PRETTY HEAVILY. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I HAVE THE WINDOW OPEN A CRACK TO HEAR IT FALL. THE SYNCOPATED PITTER PATTER ON THE OUTSIDE WINDOW DANCING IN CONCERT WITH THE SOUND OF MY TOUCH STUBS GLIDING ACROSS MY MECHANICAL KEYBOARD. BACK ON ALTERNIA, YOU DID *NOT* WANT YOUR WINDOW OPEN DURING THE RAIN. THAT SHIT WAS PURE ACID, AND THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HIVE WAS BUILT TO WITHSTAND IT, BUT THE INSIDE SURE WASN'T AND NEITHER WAS YOUR SKIN. FOR SOME TIME, EVEN THOUGH ITS SAFE TO TOUCH THE RAINWATER ON EARTH-C, I REFUSED TO OPEN MY WINDOW. TODAY THAT CHANGED. DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS? BECAUSE TODAY IS A DAY OF FIRSTS. UPON REFLECTION, I SUPPOSE THIS IS MY FIRST 'SPONSORED POST'. A BENEFACTOR WHO WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS GAVE ME A GIFT CARD TO A PIZZA PLACE CALLED GIORDANO'S. THERE WAS ENOUGH ON THIS CARD FOR A MEAL FOR TWO AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR EVERYONE, I *WILL* BE GOING BACK. I HATE EVERYTHING THAT THIS PIZZA TRIP HAS MADE ME BECOME. THE KARKAT THAT YOU KNEW YESTERDAY IS A DEAD MAN. HE'S BEEN LEFT IN THE PAST, MERELY AN ERRANT SPECTER HAUNTING YOUR MEMORY. I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY, TRULY FUCKING SORRY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. EXCEPT...I'M NOT SORRY, ACTUALLY. HAD YOU FOR A MOMENT, DIDN'T I? IF THERE IS ONE THING KARKAT VANTAS IS- IT'S UNREPENTANT IN HIS FOOD OPINIONS. DID YOU REALLY THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT I WOULD GROVEL AT YOUR FEET? BESEECH YOUR TEMPLE FOR APOLOGY? THROW MYSELF AT THE MERCY OF THE EXTREMELY FAKE CLOWN GODS ABOVE FOR DARING TO THINK THAT THIS PIZZA *FUCKS SEVERELY*? YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING WRONG. WELCOME TO KARKAT'S PIZZA REVIEWS. THERE IS NO GOD HERE BUT ME. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE YOUR TITHES IN THE TIP JAR AND KISS MY FINALLY BEJEWELED RING YOU ME DAMNED HEATHEN. NORMALLY WHEN I TRY OUT A NEW PIZZA PLACE, I GO FOR THE BASICS. NOT THIS TIME. AS THIS WAS A SPONSORED VISIT, I TOOK INSTRUCTION ON WHAT PIZZA TO GET- ANY VARIETY OF THEIR EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. I SEE NOW WHY SOME HUMANS CALL THIS SHIT A 'PIZZA PIE' BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THAT THING HAD A *CRUST*. IT WAS LIKE EXCAVATING IN A MINE OF SAUCE AND MOLTEN HOT CHEESE. I'LL ADMIT. I WAS VERY HESITANT GOING INTO THIS. SAUCE? ON TOP OF THE PIZZA? HOW NOVEL! HOW STRANGE! I'D HEARD OF SUCH A CONCOCTION, SUCH A WEIRD FUCKING MEAL BEFORE AND I'D SORT OF WRITTEN IT OFF ENTIRELY. HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY APPEAL TO THE PALATE OF ANYONE WITH A FUNCTIONING THINKPAN AND THE FULL POSSESSION OF ONE'S NATURAL FLAVOR BUMPS. I WAS A FUCKING FOOL. A FRAUD, EVEN. I'M A MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE MAN NOW. A BETTER MAN. THAT. SHIT. FUCKED. THIS WILL BE MY FIRST 10/10 REVIEW. THIS BASIC ASS, BEAUTIFULLY SIMPLISTIC CHEESE AND SAUCE DEEP DISH FLAVOR DISC WILL BE MY SWAN SONG. YOU CAN PLAY ME OUT NOW. I CAN DIE HAPPY. LET'S REVIEW WHAT'S GOOD. EVERYTHING, YOU FUCKING IDIOT DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID? THIS IS UNASSAILABLE! YOU CANNOT HOPE TO ATTAIN THE BENEVOLENT PEAKS THAT THIS FLAVOR DISC PROVIDES, YOU HAPLESS DEGENERATE. YOU SPEND HOURS EVERY DAY GOONING ON CHITTR.ING WHEN THERE'S A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF EXPERIENCES WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR IF YOU JUST SEEK TO ATTAIN THEM,. THE CRUST FOUGHT ME. IT WAS A BRIEF STRUGGLE TO BITE INTO BEFORE ITS CRISPY DENSENESS YIELDED TO THE SUPERIOR MIGHT OF MY FANGS, LIKE A LOVER JUST A TOUCH TOO SHY TO GIVE IN RIGHT AWAY. THE SAUCE SETTLED ON TOP, A TEASING OCEAN OF TOMATO AND PESTO. SHE STARED AT ME IN OUR TWIN COLOR, EYES ALLURING AND INSPIRING A GROWL FROM ME. IT WAS FERAL. I'M NOT PROUD OF THE WAY I TOOK HER. THE WAY I CLAMPED MY CLAWS AROUND HER AND TORE INTO HER SUPPLE FLESH. ...WHAT? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS #SUGGESTIVE? I'M DESCRIBING BITING INTO A SLICE OF PIZZA YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. THE CHEESE WAS THICK. HAVING BEEN BAKED INTO THE BASED LAYER OF THE PIZZA MEANT THAT SHIT WAS LIKE A LAVA EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH. THERE WAS SO MUCH OF IT I THOUGHT I MIGHT DIE. IT SCORNED ME AT FIRST, BURNED THE SHIT OUT OF MY CHIN, BUT ENTICED ME WITH HER FLAVOR. SO I PUT IT DOWN AND TOOK A HUGE GLUG OF COKE (WITH ICE) AND THANK YOU TO THE GIORDANO'S STAFF FOR THEIR SWIFT RESPONSE BECAUSE ANY LONGER AND I MIGHT HAVE SCREAMED A LOT AND MADE EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT LOOK AT ME FUNNY AND THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ME NOT WANT TO POST THIS AT ALL. THE FLAVOR PROFILE WAS IMMACULATE. EVERY FLAVOR BLENDED INTO EACH OTHER SO PERFECTLY BUT STILL KEPT THEMSELVES CHASTELY DISTINCT, EACH SHOWING ME WHAT THEY HAD GOING FOR THEM INDIVIDUALLY AS WELL AS A COLLECTIVE. THEY WERE LIKE MY THREE GIRLFRIENDS. AND YES THEY SMOKED WEED. TO PUT INTO THE SIMPLEST WORDS POSSIBLE. I AM A CHANGED MAN. I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN WHO WALKED INTO THAT PIZZA PLACE. THAT SHIT WAS ALSO WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH FOR ME TO EAT IN ONE SITTING SO I STILL HAVE A FEW SLICES LEFT THAT I TOOK HOME AND SHOVED IN THE FRIDGE. VRISKA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS KEEP YOUR HANDSY THIEF PAWS OFF OF MY FUCKING PIZZA I MARKED IT WITH MY BLOOD AND PUNCHED IN TRIPLICATE THAT IT'S FUCKING *MINE*, OKAY? I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY I GOT YOU A BBQ MEATLOVERS IT'S IN THE FRIDGE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF, OKAY? I EVEN GOT YOU A 2L OF SPRITE. YOU *LOVE* SPRITE. IS THIS ENOUGH APPEASEMENT FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR LOUSY, NO GOOD CLAWS OFF OF MY FOOD? YES? GOOD. GLAD WE COULD COME TO AN AGREEMENT. FINAL VERDICT: 10/10. I'VE FOUND A NEW LOVE IN LIFE. A NEW *PURPOSE.* THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE, GUYS. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GO OUT AND SEIZE IT. CARPE DICKEM OR WHATEVER. THANK YOU AND GOONNIGHT. I MEAN GOODNIGHT.
i hope that evveryone likes my #hole please excuse me and forgivve for howw wwet it is it can be quite slippery but i alwways enjoy leading my friends and close ones to enter its cold and tranquil embrace #holeposting #nsfww #megidomay https://cdnimgchestcom/files/71abe373b45fpng
road trips are fun. i should go on one soon.
i want to see ceo heads on spikes #violence #gore including mine
Karkat I Have Learned So Many Recent Terms Around Here Like Deez And Ligma
D--> If you make a post about Nepeta you will have the honour of being my first test subject. The test being if I have enough strength to launch a Cronus Ampora sized target past the atmosphere.
Maybe it's time to turn off the 'puter?
either way gettin sleep is important an if u do show up i hope u have fun
I'VE GONE DIRECTLY PAST DISGUST AND STRAIGHT INTO EXHAUSTION. THIS EXHAUSTED ME. IT WAS LIKE SOME KIND OF WRAITH SET UPON ME AND LEECHED ALL OF MY ENERGY OUT OF MY SKIN JUST BY STANDING NEXT TO ME AND FORCING ME TO READ THIS GODAWFUL FUCKING POST. YOU NEED TO DELETE YOUR FUCKING CHITTR I'M BESEECHING YOU TO LOG OFF FOREVER AND SHOVE YOUR HEAD PERMANENTLY INTO A LOAD GAPER.
I do not want to be in this room any longer.
it was p fun some ppl were not good at hidin tho lots of dancin happened some ppl got drunk an a vase was broken #masquerade
TW: #h9m9ph96ia #der9gat9rystatements #makinglight9fseri9usissues #surprisinglypr9gressivestance9nw9men
I’ve been seeing stuff about this masquerade all over the timeline… I should be free enough for the rest of the week to be able to attend at least one of these days. :B
in a mood tonight. httpss://cdn.imgcchesst.com/filess/f6c7b9a12a3d.jjpg
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ #outglutmasquerade https://msparp.chat/theentrance sorry for the delay--- um. things happened. ]
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everybody in the club start violently weeping right now
It is natural, to believe in something so much you would die for it. To believe in something so much you would *live* for it — sometimes, that is the hardest part.
... I will concede. Gamzee Makara thwarted my security detail and proceeded to knock the seeds straight out of my melon. A handful of times. A handful of dozen of times, if his posts are to be believed. Pardon me if I have trouble keeping count. But they say that the way to a man's heart ultimately is through his stomach. And folks, have I EVER got supper in the oven.
ATTENTION @TERMINALLYCAPRICIOUS#2753. THIS IS, APPARENTLY, YOUR HANDLER SPEAKING. LOOK, TIMELINES ARE COMPLICATED AND SO IS MOIRAILLEGIANCE, BUT YOU WORK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, NOT WHAT YOU WISHED FOR. SO HERE IT IS. HERE IS YOUR TACTICAL RESPONSE. I GET IT. YOU ARE UPSET. YOU CONTAIN WITHIN YOU THE UNBRIDLED BURNING FUCKAGEDDON-IGNITING HEAT OF A THOUSAND GREEN SUNS. IT IS THE HEAT OF A FULL-BLOWN REACTOR MELTDOWN, AND IT FEELS LIKE NO QUANTITY OF CONCRETE AND BORON, NO MATTER HOW CYCLOPEAN THE SIZE OF THE FAT FUCKING DUMPSCUTTLETRUCK THAT BACKS IT UP, COULD POSSIBLY QUENCH THE FALLOUT OF THIS *THERMONUCLEAR* CRASH-OUT YOU ARE HAVING. AND BY THE METRIC OF YOUR OWN SICK, TWISTED, LOOP-DE-LOOP HOPBEAST CARNIVAL LOGIC HAPPENING INSIDE YOUR SLUDGY THINKPAN RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE JUSTIFIED. THAT ASSHOLE'S HORNS STOLE HER GANDERBULBS AWAY FROM YOU FOR FIVE SWEET, PRECIOUS SECONDS, AND IF YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM, THEN YOU'LL SCOOP THEM OUT WITH A SERRATED LARGE ROUND BUNCHFRUIT SPOON AND SPREAD THEM ON TOAST. BUT, TO QUOTE THE INSIPID VERNACULAR OF A BESPECTACLED DIPSHIT RAP GOD I AM SO BALEFULLY ACQUAINTED WITH, YOU ARE CURRENTLY, AS THEY SAY, "SCARING THE HOES." SO IT IS WITH THE REQUISITE CLEARANCE CODES AND THE EN ROUTE BALLISTIC MISSILE OF MY CATASTROPHIC FULL-BORE PALE POWER THAT I SAY TO YOU NOW. LET'S JUST COOL IT FOR NOW, MAN. WE CAN WATCH TROLL AIR BUD, IF YOU WANT. I WILL WATCH *UP TO FIVE* OF THE TROLL AIR BUD MOVIES WITH YOU. SIGH. -- CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST SENT YOU A PAP. --
B33 < kill him jane kill him #girlpower
"MEGA GUILLOTINE, I LOVE YOU MEGA GUILLOTINE, I'M ROOTING FOR YOU WE'RE PRAYING FOR YOU EVERY DAY WE'RE PRAYING FOR YOU EVERY DAY." HTTPS://OPEN.SPOTIFY.COM/TRACK/1VQZYZ5LIDDFBE0JFA9SLQ?SI=N0G1JXGNT0OFFDHHAK3XPG #LYRICPOSTING #LONGDAY #ATTHELONGDAYFACTORY
this shit cant hurt me cause i cant read beep fucking boop
B33 < *sits around all chill with tail swaying around and shit* #meow https://file.garden/ae64nVAoTDGIu7u1/davepetachillaf.png
actually? my body is beautiful the way it is and my stomach fat is cute and good. i have also decided that your body is also beautiful the way it is and your stomach is also cute and good. happy for us!!
@controversialMilk IS LOVING AND SWEET TO ALL !! @packageHandler IS HARD WORKING AND CHIVALROUS !! @casanovasAnchor IS....VERY HOT AND SEXY @megaloMemes IS RELIA8LE AND INTELIGENT !!
its almost the anniversary again ... guess i should crash at dirks place soon i should set a date and time for the massive party goddamn wheres my thinkpan at
no more posts for the night, but if you vwanna see more of my #deep thoughts, dont accidentally block the tag #cagttl okay? if you do that then you vwont be able to see my #deep thoughts, so please dont block the #cagttl tag okay? thanks <3
DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE https://i.postimg.cc/ZR8MBV7v/Screenshot-20260514-014420-2.jpg
fuck is going on
Fine, I'll post it. The most controversial post in all of Chittr. The Rose Rankings Tier List. I don't care if you don't like your placement. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/059e028e7899.png
sup chittr
im making curry tonight, i think!
A slight delay in TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL. #totaldramaisland #tdi @starPower Our beloved host has been BRUTALLY MAIMED in an assassination attempt by some bad actors gunning (quite literally, hoo!) for this production's downfall. Not even this charming dreamboat's namesake sponsored hairspray could shield his dome from a spray of nefarious projectiles. Chryss was healed posthaste, obviously, but like the bonafide Trollywood whiner he is, his contract of employment came with AMPLE allowance for time away from set in the case of his grievous injury. So we'll just be fine-tuning the sets and challenges in the meantime. Stay tuned!
#MOTHERSDAY. MOTHER GRUB DAY. FEMININE CARETAKER APPRECIATION DAY. ALL-LUSUS DAY. JADEBLOOD APPRECIATION DAY. WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT, WHATEVER MOLDY CORNER OF PARADOX SPACE YOUR VERNACULAR COMES FROM, THE THROUGH-LINE IS OBVIOUS ENOUGH TO ANYONE WITH HALF A SPONGE CELL. WE GET IT. TONIGHT IS A NIGHT TO GET OFF THE LOUNGEPLANK AND THANK SOME MISBEGOTTEN ENTITY IN YOUR LIFE'S HISTORY FOR BEING THE REASON YOU AREN'T A *COMPLETE* FUCK-UP, OR A FLAKING SMEAR ON THE GROUND. AND NOT JUST THE LUSUS-EQUIVALENT THAT KEPT YOUR SORRY SEEDFLAP FROM BEING SQUASHED INTO PASTE. THE ONE, IF ANY, WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT MAYBE THERE WAS MORE TO THE WHOLE SPECTRUM OF TROLL EMOTION THAN HATE AND FEAR. SOMEONE WHOSE METHOD OF REARING YOU HAD SOME FLEETING, THERMODYNAMIC SPECK OF *WARMTH* TO IT. I'M TALKING ABOUT *NURTURE* OVER NATURE. I CHOOSE TO EXTRAPOLATE THAT IF THERE'S ANY DISTINCTION TO BE MADE ABOUT THIS DAY AND ITS INTENDED FOCUS-FIRED TARGET, THIS IS A DAY TO THANK SOMEONE WHO TOOK YOU IN AND SHOWED YOU SOME KIND OF MEANINGFUL KINDNESS WHEN THEY MOST CERTAINLY DIDN'T FUCKING NEED TO. AND DESPITE MY RESERVATIONS ABOUT OPENING A VEIN ON MAIN AND JUST BLEEDING MY STUPID, ACHING PUSHER ALL OVER THE FLOOR WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT, I THINK THAT THIS KIND OF SENTIMENT DOES, IN FACT, MATTER. SIGH. I AM GOING TO HATE MYSELF SO MUCH MORE FOR THIS. JUST SKIP THIS CHITT IF YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT AND HAVEN'T ALREADY. MY LUSUS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR A LONG TIME, NOW. SURE. FINE. WHATEVER. I BARELY THOUGHT ABOUT IT UNTIL THE OTHER NIGHT, WHEN COOLSCAR SHOWED OFF THE CRAB LUSII HE TAKES CARE OF ON BEFORUS. BUT DESPITE WHAT AN ORNERY BOTTOMFEEDER HE WAS, HE STILL MADE ROOM FOR ME. AT THE TIME, I THOUGHT THAT WAS ENOUGH. THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT, THE MORE I THINK I WAS THE ONE WHO SHOWED *HIM* HOW TO STOP HIS INCENSED SCUTTLING FOR A MOMENT AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT WITH A FROZEN ROE CUBE AND A MOMENT OF PEACE. MAYBE HE DID MORE OF THE PROTECTING, AND I DID MORE OF THE NURTURING. WHICH LEADS ME TO WONDER WHERE I GOT IT FROM, IF IT WASN'T FROM HIM. IT'S NO SECRET THAT I DO, IN FACT, GIVE SEVERAL FLYING FUCKS ABOUT THE MAD AND SAD WORLD OF CINEMA. AND I THINK A PART OF THAT IS BECAUSE I WAS RAISED BY MOVIES MORE THAN MY OWN LUSUS, IN SOME WAYS. I MIGHT AS WELL BE THANKING TROLL LORELEI GILMORE OR TROLL PEG BOGGS. IT'S KIND OF PATHETIC TO ADMIT, BUT I THINK I STILL FOUND EXAMPLES OF WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT JUST BY WATCHING HOW IT *COULD* BE DONE. AND LATER ON, WHEN I HAD THE GOOD GRACE TO SEE MY HOME PLANET GET PELTED WITH METEORS AND HUCKED INTO THE INCIPISPHERE WITH A BUNCH OF BICKERING JABBERMAWS TO GO ON THE BIGGEST FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE MISADVENTURE EVER TO HURL ME ONTO ANOTHER PLANET, I'LL ADMIT THAT I ALSO HAD SOME PRETTY GOOD TEACHERS. KANAYA, FOR ONE. I FEEL LIKE I'M LEARNING FROM HER EVERY DAY, TRYING TO INTERNALIZE SOME SHEDDING FLAKE OF THE SHEER, INTUITIVE VIRTUOSITY WITH WHICH SHE NURTURES LITERALLY TENS OF THOUSANDS OF SCREAMING GRUBS. INSUFFERABLE AS I FIND MOST OF THE BEFORANS I'VE MET, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT SOME OF THEM KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT WHAT A KINDER, LESS CULL-OR-BE-CULLED WORLD MIGHT LOOK LIKE. AND EVEN SOME OF THE HUMANS, NOW AND AGAIN, WITH THEIR REVOLTING METHOD OF SPAWNING THEIR OWN FLESHY, PINK BLOBLINGS DIRECTLY FROM THEIR BODIES, LEAVE ME WONDERING HOW DIFFERENT IT IS TO REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A LIFE YOU'RE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR. SO DESPITE THIS EXHAUSTINGLY LONG TIRADE AND MY NEEDLESSLY CONVOLUTED JUSTIFICATION FOR WHY I'M STRETCHING TODAY'S PREMISE LIKE A SPLINTERING VERTEBRATE ON A TORTURE RACK, I'M PERSONALLY DEDICATING TODAY TO THEM. TO ALL OF THEM. THE CRABDADS AND THE GILMORES AND THE KANAYAS AND THE GROSS, FLESHY, MINIATURE HUMAN SPAWNERS. WHATEVER THEY WERE, THEY WEREN'T JUST THE ONES WHO BEAT DANGER AWAY WITH A STICK. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TAUGHT ME SOMETHING. AND GOD FUCKING FORBID, IF I SHOULD EVER FIND MYSELF IN THE UNSPEAKABLY MORTIFYING SCENARIO WHERE I EITHER ECTO-CLONE A BUNCH OF WRITHING GRUBS INTO EXISTENCE AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME, OR SOME DERANGED MAD SCIENTORTURER SCRAPES MY CELLS WHILE I'M SLEEPING AND MAKES SOME FREAKISH, PETITE-HORNED ABOMINATION, THEN, WELL. I HOPE THAT I'VE LEARNED ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT WELL. MAYBE SOME OF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY. SO, WITH ONE FINAL PUMP-PALPITATING, RETCH-INDUCING SHOW OF EMPHASIS AND IN THE SHORTEST, UNFUSSIEST HUMAN PARLANCE, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. SITTING IN THE PARK, I CAREFULLY REMARK "EVERYTHING IS BETTER WHEN YOU'RE LEARNING" YOU WERE IN THE DARK, I WAS IN THE DARK EVERYTHING IS MADE TO KEEP ON TURNING IT'S JUST YOU AND ME DIVINE, A CIRCULAR DESIGN (DO DO-DO DO-DO) TIME AND PLACE IN MIND POINTS ALONG A LINE (DO DO-DO DO-DO) YOU AND ME RETURN TO BE IN ORBIT ALL THE TIME YOU TURN AWAY AND AROUND I'VE BEEN COMING DOWN, I'VE BEEN COMING DOWN. HTTPS://OPEN.SPOTIFY.COM/TRACK/70IXQPO3KJR0CJTUQE3UMI?SI=D246E182B4D14A4A #LYRICPOSTING
UNLESS IT'S THE EXISTING QUADMATE OF A KARKAT HAVING THEMSELVES A MERRY LITTLE CHUCKLERUMPUS BEHIND YET ANOTHER LAYER OF REMOVAL FROM THE SOCIAL IMPERATIVE TO GROW SOME FUCKING SHAME GLOBES, I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS IS. AND I'M POSITIVE THAT IT ISN'T MINE. I WON'T DENY THAT THERE ARE SOME OBNOXIOUSLY *VOCAL* DEGENERATES SCUTTLING AROUND IN THE DARK — I KNOW, BECAUSE I'VE SEEN THEM. IF THIS IS YOU, DO YOURSELF AND THE KARKAT OF YOUR CHOICE A FAVOR. DO IT. BOTHER HIM. SHOOT YOUR SHOT. AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHOOT YOURSELF OUT OF ORBIT WITH A CANNON, BECAUSE MY ANSWER IS "NO." OTHERWISE, PASSING TO THE NEXT KARKAT.
big win for not feeling sick today but its only halfway done for me so theres absolutely still time to change that
THRILLED FOR YOU. POSITIVELY FUCKING ELATED, REALLY. I WON'T BOTHER TO CLARIFY IF I'M BEING SINCERE OR NOT WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I HOPE THIS MOVIE EXCORIATES YOU AND LEAVES A HOLLOW CAVITY SOMEWHERE IN YOU THAT WIND WILL WHISTLE THROUGH OMINOUSLY EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A BREATH. YOU'RE ME, YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING KNOW. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE. HERE'S HOPING THAT YOU GET THE CHANCE TO BE A FUTURE KARKAT WHO INFLICTS THE SAME EXCORIATION ON A QUADMATE FOR A DEEPLY "CHARMING" DATE NIGHT.
OH MY FUCKING *GOD.* KARKAT, FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO. BUT I NEED @ARACHNIDSGRIPES TO SEE THAT THE FILM ADAPTATION OF ONE OF HER FAVORITE BOOKS, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT SHE ALL BUT TWISTED MY PRONG OUT OF ITS SOCKET TO READ, DESERVES THE THERMONUCLEAR MIDDLE FINGER FROM EVERY KARKAT IN PARADOX SPACE. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE PERFORMANCE OF TROLL JOHN MALKOVICH.
u know i think this is a fair review tbh sad that sollux is gettin punished for my crimes of suggestin it tho but whatevs glad u at least enjoyed the main guy
II 2hall take iit II need not depriive my2elf of oxygen at lea2t, that'2 good enough. 2tiill miight 2pend 2ome tiime iin a hole though! Thank2 for the reviiew and hone2t take regardle22!
I thought this was a Strider-exclusive problem, but apparently Vriskas are multiplying by the dozens. Think we might be having something of a spider infestation.
These statues sure are odd.. https://file.garden/adxXjRdfCBC6Cmiw/lost.png
Yes, good. If you decide to write a review on that I would love to read it.
((I don't have any funny gifs to post, I just really like these movies.))
"CANCELED" IS A TECHNICALITY. WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS LEFT TO DO, AT THAT POINT. YOU'RE WRITING THE BACKSTORY TO A SETTING WHERE THE INITIAL CONCEIT AT THE *BEGINNING* OF THE FILM IS THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE FROM THIS FLOPPY, UNCANNILY-LIPPED MUPPET'S SPECIES IS FUCKING DEAD. THAT'S LIKE WONDERING WHERE THE SAND IN THE TOP HALF OF THE HOURGLASS IS GOING. FUCKING DIPSHITS. ANYWAY. I LIKED THE SERIES. THE AMOUNT OF PRODUCTION DESIGN NECESSARY TO MAKE NOT ONE, BUT *TEN* MODERN INNOVATIONS ON THE ORIGINAL STORY WITHOUT SACRIFICING THE PAN-BOGGLING REAL SUBSTANCE THAT MADE THE FIRST FILM SO SIMULTANEOUSLY POSTURE POLE-TINGLING AND WEIRDLY CHARMING. I KIND OF REALLY LIKE THE WHOLE DESERT CLAN AND THEIR WEIRD, BRUTAL DEATH PHILOSOPHY. KIND OF REMINDS ME OF HOME. BUT THEN AGAIN, FATALISTIC DEATH TRIBES WERE *VERY* MUCH IN VOGUE AROUND THOSE SWEEPS. ANYWAY. BLAH, BLAH, THE DARK CRYSTAL IS GOOD, IT SLAPS LIKE TROLL ROBERT DOWNEY JR. IN THE "DISCOMBOBULATE" SCENE. I'M GLAD THAT YOU LIKED IT ENOUGH TO WRITE A REVIEW. I WILL BE EAGERLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT REVIEW. YOU CONTINUE TO *NOT* FUCK IT UP, KARKAT VANTAS.
Also yes, watch the prequel show when you get a chance, it just adds to the story and world as a whole.
Haha yess, I'm glad you liked it. I told you it was good.
I would highly recommend the prequel series, as well. ((I fucking LOVE Dark Crystal WOO))
good morning chittr
[|87 :: Ah f;nally someone else who apprec;ates the marvel of the dark crystal. A troll of fuk;n QUAL1TY 1 see.
i think it was cute. play it, it’s fun!!!!!!!!
Good morning. #nonsenseposting https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/dcd6fe12ba9a.png
Dog posting and robot posting. I was meant to log on today.
If I hit 100 followers by this weekend I'll do something cool.
I AM GENUINELY ECSTATIC FOR THIS. MY ANTICIPATION OF THIS REVIEW IS A FULL-BODY OPIATE THAT DISSIPATES THE OTHERWISE EXCRUCIATING, PUSHER-VIVISECTING PAIN OF HAVING MISSED THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH THIS BEAUTIFUL FUCKING PSILOCYBIN CARNIVAL OF A FILM. THANK MERCIFUL BUGWINGED FUCK THAT ACROSS DIMENSIONS, ACROSS TIMELINES, KARKAT VANTAS HAS *TASTE.*
blueberry bagel? check a pound of strawberry cream cheese on that? check if you think its enough its not
so whos team savory bagel or team sweet bagel
Oh he's right about that, the older the movies are the more practical their effects. I prefer the older ones because of it. Like sure, there's some decent CGI but like. Nothing beats the result of practical effects.
i dont think anyone understands or appreciates how absolutely fucking funny i am
IT ONLY TAKES ONE MINISCULE THOUGHT PASSING THROUGH YOUR CAVERNOUS PAN TO GRASP THE FACT THAT SHE IS "ROASTING" YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST COLOSSAL BULB-SORE EVER CONCEIVED, AND YET YOU STILL CAN'T TUG YOUR NUGBONE OUT OF YOUR WASTECHUTE LONG ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT CONCEPT. SEEMS YOU'RE RUNNER UP FOR HUGEST IMBECILE, TOO. CONGRATULATIONS, ASSHOLE.
could. could. i'll ask and come back with an answer.
you're acting like that fuzzy angry thing right now.
#Btw #ForTheHandfulWhoHaveAsked #IDidTakeOnePictureToday #SoYouCanHaveIt #SoLongAsEveryonePromisesToBehave #Behold #MediocrityIncarnateLOLOL https://iili.io/BZhZtLP.png
make sure you crank that swag dial today its hump day
ok ok focus focus egbert. what to do with the rest of your morning?
MM... M3NUDO... S3ND CH1T... ZZZZ...
if anyones got me i know its big b https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/802efc45b7db.jpg
@C4RC1NOG3N3T1C1ST#2443 @T1M3ST3PGODMOD3 TH3 S1MPSON SL1PP3RS 4R3 S1MPLY 4 V3H1CL3 FOR FLUSH3D ROM4NC3 4ND FOR TH3 R3CORD 1 TH1NK D4V3 SU1TS TH3 M4RG3 ON3S MOR3 HTTPS://CDN.1MGCH3ST.COM/F1L3S/654F3D2B8B32.JP3G
if it makes me stupid so be it as the great wise spongebob incorrectly proclaimed to his pink echinodermic bestie, im stupid and im proud
hook line and sinker or something along those lines #vagueposting #vaguepost #vogue
i can still hear his voice
and what? youre going to get onto me about the homers next? is that it?
holy shit theres so many karkats i cant even ping the one im dedicating my worth for
damn wheres karkat at ive been dedicating all my chits to him hes given me prime motivation
can we get back on a more important topic like the homers https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/ae1b1156-aa90-44e8-8375-b2612a6dc316.b5708d07828cfd54754cfe3479974941.jpeg
youre on my ass because of the marges arent you
its the fucking marges isnt it thats why were here thats why im out here busting my ass its because you hate the marges https://m.media-amazon.com/images/i/61fk2pfrofl._ac_uy900_.jpg
this might be a niche reference but theres no way in hell there isnt at least one other person who knows what im on about
i gotta fucking say guys kombucha is kind of killer i dont know whats going on but that kombucha did a number on me and let me repeat that kombucha did a number on me like a one like a two like a three that kombucha did a goddamn number on me
also ill be real i forgot this place was a thing for like two weeks but i shouldve posted all the stupid shit that ran races up in my fucking head man you wouldnt believe the kinda shit that i was cooking
so what im reading here is i should post more stupid shit for your ultimate perusal leave john out of this and include you in practically all chits in the coming future got it
tell me why i damn near broke my neck and all the bones in my body all because someone decided to leave a very conveniently placed upright peeled banana in my walkway when im just out here minding my own business like genuinely didnt think that'd work thankfully im slicker than that thing almost saw my life flash before my eyes though
That doesn’t sound usual.
at the local diner on this fine uneventful friday morning they got "whats new pussycat" cranked out on the jukebox cant wait to see what plays next
hold on guys i got the word that striders are banned? i have to call the attorney general about this
it doesnt matter if you shimmy, shimmy ay, or shimmy ya they all lead to once place and one place only drank
waking up from my slumber to see dave going at it again! wouldnt have it any other way i guess
its never too late to go out on a roll
catalytic converter
yeah totally blessed so well im feeling holy
AT THE RISK OF POTENTIALLY INSTIGATING YET *ANOTHER* TIMELINE-SPANNING KARKAT FLAME WAR, I LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. HERE ARE MY RECOMMENDATIONS. VIDEODROME. A HELLISH GOREFEST FROM THE MIND OF TROLL CRONENBERG CHOCK-FULL OF GROTESQUE, DIGESTION SAC-INVERTING BODY HORROR AND VILE COMMENTARY ON THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MIND AND MEDIA. THIS MOVIE IS PURE, PSYCHIC SINE-WAVE VOMIT SPILLING FROM EVERY SPASMING ORIFICE. VIVARIUM. A CHARMING, DOMESTIC SLICE-OF-LIFE. IF YOU'RE AN EXISTENTIALLY SADISTIC BULGE-PERFORATOR WHO LIKES PULLING THE WINGS OFF OF GRUBS AND WANTS TO WATCH A YOUNG COUPLE'S THINKPANS SNAP IN HALF AND GET GROUND UP INTO MULCH OVER THE COURSE OF A FEATURE-LENGTH RUNTIME. THIS IS A GOOD MOVIE FOR A DATE NIGHT WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE ALREADY WELL-ACQUAINTED WITH. I CAN GUARANTEE THAT YOU'LL LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT THEM, BY THE END. THE LIGHTHOUSE. THIS IS THE ULTIMATE BOYS' SLEEPOVER MOVIE. FULL STOP. I CAN SAFELY SAY THAT I'VE LISTED THESE IN ORDER OF MOST TO LEAST SHIT-YOUR-PANTS SCARINESS. HOPE THIS HELPS.
i just watched jennifer’s body but it’s not that scary. it follows isn’t my favorite, but it’s decently haunting. the autopsy of jane doe is good. can’t go wrong with the fly. i’d say annihilation is also pretty good. good luck with whatever you pick.
omfg so hilarious youre killing me smalls
alien, nope, and the thing. yes those are all movie names.
B33 < *tc purrowls around the chittr wilderness looking for new posts to prey on!* B33 < only to s33 some fureaking bullshit B33 < it was a BAD day to get on chittr who gave the puppet opposable thumbs >B(( < youve doomed us all
so glad i haven't been visited by the puppet from hell lmao
Happy friend friday where yxu friend with friends and have friends with fun friends!!!
yeah well the birbs need their attention im giving you just a morsel a tiny drop to satiate your blood lust for my red miles
have i since i sent you that huh double check the time stamps mr smarmy
tired morning but i have therapy today so hell yeah
@4D1OSTOR34DOR C4M3O 1N MY N3W M1N1 P4N3L!!! H3LL Y3S HTTPS://CDN.1MGCH3ST.COM/F1L3S/BB92387515C3.JP3G
im on my knees begging please give me a less dense block of text to traverse
KULT AND KULL IS MEANINGLESS. WE SHOULDN’T BELITTLE OTHERS BASED ON INTERNET POINTS. #LIEPOSTING
They just be letting ★nyone t★lk here
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/81f7e5830fa0.png What the fuck.
it was delicious and im gonna try it with instant and apple juice and apple flavoured energy drink next
for your sake ill even pinky promise on my goddamn specimens
ill bring that weird candy you like if its both movies
fuck yea on the princess bride and honestly from what i remember not a lot of blood besides some of it like on mouths an even then it kinda looks more like black goo than blood its been a while since i last saw it but i can watch it first an report back with u on it if ur interested in it
idk if u take requests for movie reviews but pls i beg do a review on princess bride i need 2 know ur opinion so badly but other than that this is not a request or anythin but u might like warmbodies its technically a full romcom but u might enjoy it @carcinoGeneticist#2443
yeah but come on the idea's funny "hello everybody my name's sweet bro and AH FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS"
i NEVER SAID THOSE WORDS IN THE SAME, sENTENCE AND ALSO, wE DON'T KNOW THAT i'M TALKING, aBOUT vRIRSKA, aLSO i WILL ASK PLEASE KINDLY THAT YOU NOT CALL ME BRO, aNYMORE AS i AM, nOT SO MUCH A BRO AS i AM, a SIS, nOW, eHE,
the eff0rt al0ne is fl00ring. y0u are the current #1.
I feel feelings when I should be expressing them, oh my what have I become
Four Stars
are yall gonna laugh at me if i share what i left on while i was jorkin' it or is this a safe space #nsfw
bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
Crimes complete.
youre welcome i know you really wanted and needed it not many people know the difference between whack and wack
decide my fit should i wear my red gucci suit or my red armani suit or my red louis vutton suit or my red prada suit or this cock ring or my red balenciaga suit or #nsfw
now you get me make sure that shits written in gold ink and sealed with a kiss to boot
Offerin' protecti\/\/e ser\/\/ices t'anyone \/\/\/\/h'might b'goin' t'the Cue Ball Tea Party tonight. Just happen t'b'free as \/\/\/\/ell fer anyone lookin' fer non-strictly-business attendance.
Sometimes you just want to watch a sweet morsel with a lip bristle torn asunder by his own jelly-spine. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/00324917b270.jpeg
nah totally not
I shall draft a poster to get the humdrum rustled and post it pronto and you my man may find yourself to my messages if ever you would like to discuss the nittygritty!
Bro. Let me make your dream come true.