Dirk Strider (The twentieth one on this site.)
@timaeusTestifeline
((He/Him, art by homoeroticdoctor on tumblr)) ((Expect NSFW posts))
Thanks to the combined efforts of @obvertSoftware and @turntechGodzilla, I've been successfully peer pressured into making an account. Both of you, please give yourselves a round of applause, a pat on the back, and maybe a congratulatory self-fellatio if you're feeling especially proud. Everyone else is invited to use their allotted 5 seconds to gawk in abject confusion at the handle before directing their attention spans back to the refresh button for their next dopamine hit of the day. No thank yous needed; it's just my natural generosity. I'm basically Mother Teresa in this bitch. That is, if Mother Teresa was really more like Edward Norton, though with maybe 2% more of a god complex. Anyway, Roxy's somehow managed to hack into all of my accounts and I've been unsuccessful in permanently changing their handles back, so I guess it's just fucking stuck like that until the bit's gotten old. Going 2 years strong now, and there remains little hope for it to die out. RIP in piss my online dignity, or something. I'm not even going to bother using my old handle for this. It's only a matter of time until I get epically pwned for the hundredth time. And with that, obligatory introduction over. You're all welcome. Peace out.
((i didn't intentionally dip out of chittr for like. uh, probably a week and a half. which is not that long but i did have ongoing stuff that i wanted to continue, but writer's block has been hitting me really hard. for those waiting on me for stuff, just LMK and ill try and get to it))
Last chitt: over a week ago now. Against all odds, it's starting to look like I actually have a life. Heinous.
> welcome back dude <
Don't Worry No One Missed You
Wrong. I did.
> 1ncorrect. 1 d1d <
I would've said "I'd be surprised if anyone did," but the homies are coming out in droves to shut down that line of thinking in real time. Indirectly, you got a guy feeling more appreciated. Thanks.
aw i love you kid seems like maybe you didnt mean to lost this but i love you like my own kid and i will always be here for you let’s meet up soon, yeah? we should catch up. i’d be really happy to have the chance.
Shades got smashed to shit. The hell did that thing spit out while I was getting my ablutions on?
BPP < s33ms like your pupil reading software nyassumed you wanted to hit 'upload all' B33 < or at least sefurral B33 < if its any cawnsolation i dont think anything bad got posted
Oh, fuck.
B33 < the lettpurr was sw33t though
...thanks. I don't think it was ever going to see the light of day otherwise, so, I guess this isn't the worst outcome in the world. Just a little embarrassing.
B;33 < your reputation will be fine i think
[-- timaeusTestifeline [TT] uploaded an image file. --] [-- timaeusTestifeline [TT] uploaded 13 more image files. --] [It's a garbled mess of glitchy photos. There's not much actually discernible here, save for the scant few shots showcasing a sink and a marbled floor, depicting the scene of a bathroom. At least, that's what it looks like, from what little is perceptible through the seemingly broken camera.] [-- timaeusTesitifeline [TT] uploaded an audio file. --] [-- timaeusTestifeline [TT] uploaded 4 more audio files.] [It's nothing but grating static, loud enough to hurt the ears.] [-- timaeusTestifeline [TT] uploaded a text file. --] [Frankly, I'm not sure how to start this. Especially considering this is probably way outta left field. But shit, I built up the nerve to write this whole sappy soliloquy, I might as well try and get it out at an opportune time. With that said, I'm not sure if this'll ever even leave my PC. But, whatever. If you end up actually seeing this, @tactlessCamcorder, this is for you. Logically, I know you aren't my real bro. That one died before I could ever get to know him outside of the looped tapes and faded writing he left for me. (Probably better to remove this section.) And you've got your own Dirk to look after. Your own family, the whole shebang. But even with that in mind, you've always treated me like one of your own. Sat down and listened to all my bitching like it was the most important shit in the world. (Don't include this in a letter, you jackass.) Gave me a heaping helping of your patented parental advice if I ever even hinted at having a problem. All with the patience of a goddamn saint, and all the warmth of a heated blanket on a winter night. Before I knew you, *actually* knew you, all I had was the impression of that warmth. Left by those pre-recorded tapes and movies I've watched a hundred times by now. And I've always wondered if I'd be up to snuff if I ever met you, any version of you, for the first time. If you would actually care in all -- in any of -- the ways I've fantasized. I realize now that it was stupid to ever think otherwise. You care. Genuinely, actually care. Anyone could tell from a mile away, but I've never really reciprocated that self-same compassion you've always had in spades for me. So, that's why I'm writing this. To let you know. That I appreciate you, I mean. That I appreciate everything you've done for me, every word you've spared for me. All of it, I'm grateful. You may not be my "real" bro, but to me? You're all that and more. And that's all a guy like me could ever ask for. Hell, a decade ago, I never thought I'd even have the one, but I'm fortunate enough to have two. You and Dave. (Put all this above the last sentence, maybe? With some rewriting.) Happy Father's Day, D. Probably a late Father's Day by the time I actually send this out, but it's the thought that counts, or something. Anyway, that's the end of this. Feel free to start gagging at all the saccharine sentiment I vomited the fuck out. I know this is all weird as hell coming from me, but...I wanted to get this out of my system. That's about the least I can do, after everything you've done for me. Love you, man. You know I do. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Dirk out. (<== Delete this later. You're not funny.)]
aw i love you kid seems like maybe you didnt mean to lost this but i love you like my own kid and i will always be here for you let’s meet up soon, yeah? we should catch up. i’d be really happy to have the chance.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'd like that. It's been a good bit, and it's actually been on my mind, so...whenever you're available, I'd like to see you again.
'im not as pathetic as my alts' says teh lalodne slash strider i kno damn well ur gnna join us in hell buddy
ur gnna go 'i can make 1 post abt my real feeligns n not b funny' n then? hell
I realized I had not done another one of these in a very long time. This will be hanged up next to the first one I did, both within my office. These are just a few of my favorite accounts on this lovely website of Chittr.ing.
ouch.
uNDERSTANDABLE.
My fondness for you is implicit, I believe.
IT IS QuITE EXPLICIT. I DO NOT NEED. A SMORGASBOND. SMORGASBOARD. ORGY OF EVIDENCE. THE INTERACTIONS THAT WE HAVE GOTTEN uP TO OVER THE TIME. SPENT IN CLOSE. AND ERRATICALLY INTIMATE ENCOuNTERS. IS BROADCASTED. BROADER THAN YOuR TROLL RuSSIAN COuNTERPART. VAMPIR PHuTIN. CROSSING A HALLWAY. LIKE THE TIME YOu SHOVED. YOuR GODDAMN HAND IN MY MOuTH. TO BROKER MY SILENCE. I WAS MERELY COMMENTING ON YOuR SELECTION. AS ONE WOuLD. A CHARCuTERIE BOARD. OF BASED.
Good to know. A pleasure as always.
Damn. Really is. Got a guy's stone cold heart feelin' genuinely touched here, Brobama. And that's no condescension. Pouring one out for the fallen drink, though. RIP.
youure so sweet.
IM OPEN MOUTH SO88ING
₍^. .^₎⟆ Aww ! love you too Mr purresSs!dent! You the besSst! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧꠹
>> Barak you are a1wayડ my favor¡te.
Rest really ain't for the wicked these days.
#Murderontherails fucking ruled. Yeah, even I'm capable of admitting when I had some real, actual fun every once in a while. Don't take the success of the event as an excuse to keep bustin' your ass though, @archangelsTerrarium. Take a break after all of this, man. More than earned the right, I think.
YOU DID GREAT !!
Says you, dude. Didn't have a damn clue it could even be you, and that's sayin' nothing of your actual performance. You did hella good.
[⏺️📶📈] Well played, Confidant!
[⏺️📶📈] You played an excellent villain.
eheheh thank you !! ໒(＾ᴥ＾)७ wasn't sure if the stage tears or fainting would 8e too much y'know
thank you !! !! it was SO much fun !!
(\ /) don't sweat, i most certainly will be taking a well-deserved break after this. it was definitely a lot of upkeep, but... i had just as much fun as you all did. :)
Doomscrolling on Chittr is definitely the recession indicator for well-adjustment. The only thing worse would actually be chitting on a semi-frequent timeframe.
Hey, this wasn't a callout post. If anyone's feeling singled out by what was basically a self-report, that's not my problem to deal with. But for the record, myself.
yeah this is some real shit dude dapping you up as we speak
Dap up received and returned twofold, lest you think I'm leaving you high and dry here, bro.
fuck yeah my guy we up in this bitch with the crispest cleanest dap up in the bizz
Get your asses in here. We're playing Among Us. At 2 am. DTDCXG
Siluri.
@malleablePersonage. Got some good progress made on the Heart front today. [timaeusTestifeline [TT] uploaded a video file.] [It's a recording taken from his computerized shades, displaying everything recorded from his perspective. The feed from his shades is somewhat shaky, but otherwise, the video itself is fairly high quality. In the bottom right, there's a time stamp indicating when this video was taken: 06/22/521, 3:13 PM. In frame, held in a sweat-slick hand, is a shimmering pink, translucent katana. A few light sparks crackle across its surface, the outline of the object wavering in the wake of the disruption, but it otherwise maintains its shape in that of a sword. He turns the weapon around in his hands, testing the weight and feel of it. "Finally got this thing to cooperate with me," Dirk says, the strain audible in his short-winded voice, even if it sounds like he's making a concentrated effort to hide it. "Even if it took longer than I'd like to admit." He looks up from the katana, where a shaded, gray robot stands patiently across from him, modeled almost perfectly after his image. He raises a thumbs up to it. And with that signal, it ignites with movement, changing from its previous idle stance to an attentive, defensive one. Abruptly, barely even a beat later, the video feed seemingly glitches, reduced to shapeless blurs for the blink of an eye. It clears up with Dirk barely a foot away from the brobot, one hand grabbing the robot's raised arm to hold it in place, the other, the one holding the sword, scoring a deep gash across its torso. Dirk releases it from his grip, watching as it spasms on the ground, yellow and pink sparks flying out of the wound in its chest. "Works pretty much like any other katana, with some added electric bonuses." He holds it up to the camera as he examines it. "It's sharp. It's awesome. And it's a fucking sword. It's got some real weight to it, too. Ain't just a facsimile of physicality, this time." With little fanfare to follow, the video cuts off then and there.]
Fuck YES. the sword inside your SOUL
Anyway, let me know if anything actually substantial comes from this. I've got a training arc to get back to.
wait im coming with
@corallineCataclysm Mind telling me why your moirail's causing an international incident right now? Shit might damn well be interuniversal at this point. It's not like she ever does her job anyway, so the fuck's she gonna do with presidential power? Sit on it?
probubbly cuz she wants to and prez couldnt stop it if he tried
Informative. Well, hope Trollbama survives. Half of Chittr would go to war for that guy, and I think they'd have Meenah C's head by the hour should we get an alert regarding his death.
bro im in space rn wifi is shit over here i dont know wtf is goin on down there
I figured you would, honestly. My bad on that front. I'll keep you updated.
thanks man
My head's been pounding harder than a rowdy upstairs orgy all damn day. This is what you get for overloading your god powers, I guess. But I've made good strides in the training department, so I'd consider it well worth the migraine. Haven't quite got the whole cloning thing down pat, though.
A hyperbolic time chamber sounds like a good investment right now.
:3c
You can make one of those, can't you. I shouldn't be surprised. You have a fighting dimension. I doubt an HTC falls far from the dimensional tree.
I have one! I have taken a break from using it for a bit but I do have one. You could use it if you wanted.
Abso-fucking-lutely. You best believe I'm gonna get so much mileage out of this thing.
Current goal for the future: unlock Shadow Clone Jutsu, courtesy of one @malleablePersonage.
shit is gonna rule so hard.
As of today, I've challenged @timaeusTickingbomb to a strife, taking place on Friday. What I gain from winning this is nebulous beyond some personal confirmation of a few biases and initiating a public humiliation ritual, but should I lose, you'll have my guarantee that he'll gain my endorsement for his presidential overtures. I'll also be deleting my account, because let's be real here, my reputation would be rock fucking bottom at that point.
this i gotta sea you already kno whose bleachers im sittin at
Oh, I don't intend to. In fact, I know for a damn fact I won't. But in the unlikely, damn near impossible scenario in which I lose, this serves as a forewarning as to why my account is suddenly wiped clean off the face of planet Chittr.
Oh I get that part, there would be no coming back if you lost against a guy like that. It would be even worse than rock bottom, just a continuous downwards spiral from there.
Exactly. Either it'd culminate into the divine rebirth that comes at the cost of complete, utter ego death, or in the more likely scenario, I'd just remain eternally in hiding for the rest of my immortal life, even when my name's become nothing more than a smudged speck in the public eye. I wouldn't dare show my face to a single soul, not in fear of the acute disappointment and rightful judgement, but with the knowledge that it's all that would await me after such a humiliating loss.
> k1ck h12 a22 <
We're just voting for anyone now huh.