@timaeusTestifeline — #nsfw
My head's been pounding harder than a rowdy upstairs orgy all damn day. This is what you get for overloading your god powers, I guess. But I've made good strides in the training department, so I'd consider it well worth the migraine. Haven't quite got the whole cloning thing down pat, though.
I basically have no right to say this when I wear the Strider name proudly on my chest like an Olympic medal, but some of you are way too comfortable sharing shit that ain't gotta be known. No, as entertaining as it is, I don't need to know which individual teste has the most amount of pubes on your sack, or the zipcode of the KFC that your girlfriend broke up with you at or whatever the fuck. Some shit can stay in the 'pan, alright.
Happy #wetyaoiday. This one's for the homie @cryhoundColortura. [An image is uploaded to the chitt. In the center of the it., body on display as previously promised, is the form of one Dirk Strider, kneeled on the hardwood floor as water pools on the ground around him. The usual anime spikiness of his hair is reduced to something better described as a mullet with the wetness weighing it down. Silvery white bangs fall against his face, framing the sharp line of his jaw and the sharper edge of his shades. Below the neckline, the collar of his shirt is fisted in one hand, pulling it back just enough to...Read more
Since the guy who'd rank as my first choice for #wetyaoiday is currently unavailable, the masses of Chittr will be granted the exclusive experience of seeing an altogether different sexy motherfucker on display. Usually, most people would have to pay for the viewing (onlyfans.com/dirkstrider), so consider yourselves uniquely fortunate for the holiday cheer inciting it. Stay tuned for more later. P.S: No, the incident with the sword was not an "exclusive experience." It was a bet #gonewrong, #gonesexual.
Sometimes I wonder how much of the hornyposting is the genuine article rather than an attempt to farm kult off of the porn-addicted minds of the Chittr audience. Or both, maybe. I can't say shit, though. At this point, I'm a Guinness World Record holder for the amount of 'Fell For it Again' awards I've been issued from this site alone. I'm the motherfucker getting milked (in more ways than one) for kult. It is me. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/19182aabec96.webp #nsfw #vagueposting? Sure.
It's suspicious how the supposed Team "Chud" members have gotten an influx of anonymous confessions within the last few days. Either someone's feeling pitying enough to write a few horny posts or the chuds are losing their chud status as we speak. #nsfw #dashwatching, I guess.
At many points through man's (and I imagine trollkind's) history have the greatest minds of our generations toiled away at inventing marvels, damn near miracles of technology that our distant forebears would shit themselves at first sight of with their own two hands, only to step back from their creations and wonder if they, if science at its current zenith has gone too far. I sit here, sketching out blueprints and ask myself if sexbots would breach that threshold of technologic regret. Not because it's morally reprehensible or anything, that's still to be determined, but because I am at the point of m...Read more
Fumbling twinks is weak sauce. Who cares. There's probably another fifty out and about for you to proposition, and you'll likely land one of them eventually. Get back to me when you start fumbling bears. The only other ones out there are married DILFs or people too goddamn normal to match your freak. #nsfw?? Sure.
Yeah, okay. The extendo-dick. Send chitt. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/45925c366176.png #nsfw?
I just watched a guy Power of Friendship his way through a match he was previously getting thoroughly fucking washed in. If anyone needed any more proof that anime is real, then here you fucking go. He even got all the exaggerated screaming down pat. Still ended in a tie, though. In related news, I'm not sure if that means @pulchritudePowerhouse's nudes are coming out or not. Does that count as an L for the purposes of the bet. #fightnight #nsfw
I've always been distantly aware that thinking with my dick is a surefire way to get me into some deep shit some day, but I'm pretty sure it might actually kill me today. I guess this is a #vaguepost. #nsfw. If none of you hear from me later, know that I died choking on some dude's dick. Which isn't a bad way to go, really.
I made Beef Stroganoff 'cause nobody's Stroganoff my Beef. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a1ae4755c481.webp #nsfw
#NSFW I'm serious about that NSFW tag, by the way. Don't watch if you don't want to see a sword go up someone's ass. Anyway, Here it is. The moment I'm sure none of you were waiting for. My illicit sex tape showcasing the forbidden union between my ass and my sword. A foam one, thanks to @automatonArisen, who also filmed all of this for your viewing. I was planning to just post a picture, but I had the whole video, so why not just upload the whole fucking video. Never say I don't do anything for y'all. [The video opens with Dirk taking a deep breath, presumably feeling the full weight of his ...Read more
#NSFW Naked, in my bathroom, foam sword in hand, ready to make entry. Someone ask me what I'm doing with my life, because I've clearly never asked myself that enough yet.
There are many moments in my life I can say these exact string of words to, but I think this one would be a real competitor for the spot of top dog: I fucked up. #NSFW from here on out. So some random fuckin' human challenged the actual Condesce to a game of DDR. I, being an intellectual, decided to make a bet for literally no fucking reason. In fact, I would have nothing to gain from it, only something to lose. Anyway, I had said if the Condesce lost, somehow, I'd "shove my sword so far up my ass I'll be shitting steel." Yeah, guess who won. All I'll say is: stay tuned for more later.
How come literally every other person on this fucking site would smash themselves except me. Am I the only one here who would pass. Kind of depressing, actually. #nsfw #selfcest
"The Condesce invests into the porn industry" was not on my bingo card for today, but okay I guess. Pretty sure advertising that is only going to create leagues of quadrantless losers who jack their shit all day to digital troll sex instead of getting down and dirty with the real thing and filling pails, but who am I to say anything. She put up a big 'ole sign that said "Snarky Asshats Not Allowed," so I'm barred from responding. #nsfw