#NSFW I'm serious about that NSFW tag, by the way. Don't watch if you don't want to see a sword go up someone's ass. Anyway, Here it is. The moment I'm sure none of you were waiting for. My illicit sex tape showcasing the forbidden union between my ass and my sword. A foam one, thanks to @automatonArisen, who also filmed all of this for your viewing. I was planning to just post a picture, but I had the whole video, so why not just upload the whole fucking video. Never say I don't do anything for y'all. [The video opens with Dirk taking a deep breath, presumably feeling the full weight of his poor decision making skills crash down on him all at once. He's ass naked, save for his ever-present shades, kneeling on the marble bathroom floor. Foam sword in one hand, sink counter in the other. He holds onto both for dear life. Slowly, he moves the "blade" of the faux sword into position, lining it up directly to his asshole. There exists one last second for him to ask himself where it all went wrong, or if this is really what he wants his legacy to be on Chittr, before the sword finally breaches his anus. It enters glacially slow, probably so Dirk doesn't ACTUALLY hurt himself doing this. His hand tightens on the counter as it moves further in, eventually reaching the point where his stomach begins to bulge from how far the sword has traveled. "Shit, okay," Dirk hisses out after a few more painstaking seconds of continuous insertion. "Fuck. I'm done. That's as far as I'm pushing it in." There's still a part of the blade visible near his ass, but he's managed to get it in impressively far. He looks up at the ceiling, taking one last deep breath before pulling the whole thing out. Slowly, obviously. Dirk tosses the sword to the side as soon as it's out of him, holding up a thumbs up to the camera with the hand that previously held its death grip on the sink. Barely a moment later, the video cuts out.]
Oh my. I now have such a tasteful treat in my repertoire. Here have a taste of my shenanigans with your perfect gift. [It's an edit, short and quick. Of the blade now looping back and forth. /In and out/, as if instead of just merely inserting it, he's fucking it.] I particularly enjoy this much more. Spank bank material perhaps? #nsfw
Oh my god. I hate you so fucking much, it's unreal.
That only seems to fuel me ssooooo much, daddy~! Anything to make you rage even more. #nsfw #nsfwe
Yeah. It was a foam sword. My ass still kind of hurt in the morning, but I'm good. Physically.