Eridan “Unchained” Ampora

and this ring detects the presence a lowwbloods this one grants the user a clear conscience regardless a the treacherous nature of their actions this ones made a golden foil that blocks out psychic mind attacks and THIS one is on the wwrong appendage

crabs bein the final evvolution is a devvastatin revvelation to foot lickers evverywwhere #nsfww #toepostin

goregle search musclebeast milk slowwly poured ovver a landhags wwrinkly soles #nsfww #toepostin

yeah i livved the prince nevver dies noww get the hell outta my wway or youre gettin blasted by a feminization ray no thats not a slam poem its a threat

my nemesis brrapp zooppp cast me into a backwwards fuckin shadoww dimension wwherein i wwas immediately beset upon by bat wwinged demons and horrible angelic amalgamations made a congealed feathery godflesh wwith a million goddamn fiery laser beam eyes beaten into a near fatal coma somethin divvine wwhispered into my earfin some hogwwash about provving my wworth and transportalized me to the past FORCIN ME TO RELIVVE THE TORRID AND UNDIGNIFIED DECISIONS MADE BY ALL OUR WWRIGGLER SELVVES doomed to wwatch from behind the prison a my owwn ganderbulbs unable to change wwhat the “”””FATES”””” had in store only for my abrupt death at the hands of a fierce rustblooded yokel (wwhich wwasnt supposed to happen obvviously) i wwas then reincarnated as a gerblin drone and livved for about fifteen swweeps before i keeled ovver fallin off my lieges airship BELEAGUERED AND HAVVIN BEEN BLITZED BY COSMIC FORCES UNKNOWWN i wwoke in a crucible deep in alternias large sea fissures and usin the blood swweat and tears wwrought from my past livves trauma along wwith the concentrated bloody guts of angel-demons ivve made the ultima wwand the force feminizer #nsfww

cant blame them damned bandits for rustlin cattle wwhen my bovvines got the prettiest most luscious fuckin lashes this side a the troll mississippi #cowwboyarc

quiet a boss bitch is fryin chicken

i wwont lovve you as you are but i could maybe see lovvin wwhat i turn you into

and the peasants did tremble at the finger of cod

alright wwhicha you prankish jackanapes set up this giant wwooden horse corpse outside my orphice like some grand gift to the wwar god or somesuch wwell you knoww wwhat they say about gifts in horses mouths

ivve supped on the bone marroww of a dyin god

i eat a hoofbeast wwe lock eyes i squirt ink blotches into your face in defense and in your confusion you die

sea dwwellers dont cry idiot thosere my ink sacs leakin yeah big wwhoop evvery sea dwweller inks from their vvision stalks its kinda wwhat distinguishes us from the general land rubbish

lowwbloods cant look up theyvve nevver evven seen the stars can you believve that

if piss aint stored in the globes wwhy do they throb so nicely wwhen i hold it in too long #nsfww

wwhether your spheres raise pitifully off your chest like swwelled up mosquito bites or droop hugely and elegantly as brilliant knockers on a ornate door leadin into the fantastical foyer a your neighborin sea prince all bodies are beautiful but some of your personalities need serious fuckin wwork that no amount a bodacious body bits could fix #nsfww

my fortress wwas impregnable an then you came wwith a batterin ram wwe livve in a cottage on the countryside ivve put all the casteism behind me and wwe are surrounded by all the little orphans i evver did make i lock eyes wwith you wwere DEEPLY in lovve i kill you

devvil tier it sounds edgy as fuck but theres somethin there jevvil tier

doublin dowwn noww that my comrade in arms eridan ampora prime admonished himself a the boundless potential of the righteous fuckin sciences evver since goin FRAUD TIER spewwin godawwful balderdash that magic is real ITS NOT

lovve makin loww castes tremble they fall to their knees “cup your hands” i bark seems redundant describin wwhat came next #nsfww #itspiss