Jake English
@golgothasTerror
Skaianet CEO and PROUD consort king! • 25 • he/him • please submit all personal inquiries to jakeenglish@skaia.net! 💥🎃👊RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH SHOOTS IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE!!👊🎃💥
LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/86f8d78a85fc.png
I say man some of you guys are real jabberwockies. As in you guys *jabber* a LOT.
guess you could say i gibber
im in this post and i dont like it
Gibber? I hardly know her.
Not a single dang d in my original post id say i did a fine job dodging the draft capital D.
Back in the day if you didnt have a fella in your corner to help tug your train down the line you were just called a regular ol johnny pervert and left to your own devices. #suggestive
Huh??
sO TRUE,
Im not your pappy so i fear this may be a case of mistaken identity!
Sometimes its hard to find a good way to approach an apple often times i find myself just stuck getting one started.
But one must tough it out for the succulent innards it holds and well. Shucks thats just life isnt it.
I... like it in here... https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c16099b5124b.png
i'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT, jAKE BUDDY OL PAL, tHE JOY ON YOUR FACE IS, jUST 1NFECTIOUS,
>([made anot#a one] #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/c39ee962fecb.png #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/9b9516007214.png]
I think I hauve covid
Ok this one is spot on bro.
Your best work yet~!
#BEARFACTS #TW-SUGGEST4VE #BEARBUTTRE4GNSUPREME HTTPS://64.MED4A.TUMBLR.COM/0F0EBD4A86E2F3DA1218D15B1C890718/85265152CF6F0986-EA/S1280X1920/59BD5F9BC38F018A879151FBEB7B6B11C037EAA0.PNG
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ Damn thats crazy are you letting people test how long they can last #imdownforachallenge #ilovetoppingguysbiggerthanme #nsfw #iknowyourgameiscrazy
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꒰𓇼 please get my bfs ass 𓇼꒱
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ I'll do it just for you king #sinceyouaskedsonicely #icantsaynotothat #gottarespectthesewishes
꒰𓇼 𓇼꒱
@NOTOR4G4NALENOUGH @L4GHTUPBEATS OOOOH. SO BEAR HEARS. 2 CONTENDERS. CHALLENG4NG BEARS BUTT. BEAR NEVER BACK DOWN FROM CHALLENGE. YOU BOTH. ARE ON. >:)
꒰𓇼 have i ever t𖦹ld y𖦹☾ h𖦹w in l𖦹ve i am with y𖦹☾ 𓇼꒱
BEAR KNOW. UH BEAR LOVE F4SH. OBV4OUS FACT. NOT GETT4NG F4SH OUT OF. POUND4NG.
꒰𓇼 i was saying that 𖦹☾t 𖦹f my p☾sher which is beating very fast right n𖦹w by the way i l𖦹ve y𖦹☾ 𓇼꒱
HAHAHHAHAHA DONT FRY. BRA4N. BEAR S4ZED LOVE YOU. W4NK W4NK W4TH. 1. EYEBALL.
꒰𓇼 i l𖦹ve y𖦹☾ t𖦹𖦹 teddy bear 𓇼꒱
Aww cute in a (respectfully) dorky way!
Y:{
I've never seen a lady make this face before~. You must be one of a kind~~~~.
SIGH. ALRIGHT. YOU DID IT. YOU MANAGED TO CONJURE A PSYCHOMEMETIC WORM AND FIRE IT LIKE A BULLET INTO THE DEEPEST CONVOLUTIONS OF MY DUSTY OLD THINKPAN WITH NOTHING BUT YOUR STUPID, ELASTIC EXPRESSION PLATE. IT'S ALREADY WRITHING BACK INTO THE TYPESTUB CONTROLS IN MY MOTOR CORTEX, COMPELLING ME TO SAY THIS. OLD INTERNET COMPILATION RERUN WHEN.
so fierce .. nargh (thats the SOUNd i think that face makes)
Just as soon as you're ready to endure another eight hour stint locked in a chatroom with me!
NARGH?!
Hektor, I don't know if this is the time or the place any longer. You're married.
Would you believe it's an open marriage~.~.~.~? Do humans have those~?
Im not addicted to gambling im addicted to hope and theres just plain and square nothing wrong with that.
My bags are *already packed* my good man.
fuuuuuck this is tru kinda makes me wanna get back into the swing of #jadebustin again
Im no sunday prude but good heavens to betsy dont talk about my granny like that. Tavvy i had no idea you were such a debauched pervert!
DAMMIT u got me!!!! godddd i miss it tav i rly do fml.... i think i need u to come over so we can bust one 2gether iykwim ;)))
wHAT? nOW i KNOW, i HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH, yOUR gAMGAM, cERTAINLY NOT 1N THE WAY, i HAD MY WAY WITH, jADE'S gRAMPS,
yea rn!!!! u better hurry LOL..... lest i start bustin these jades all by my lonely lonesome!
i'M COMING, i'M COM1NG rOXY! aS FAST AS i CAN, dON'T YOU BUST, uNTIL i AM THERE, tO BUST WITH YOU!
I wish i was on the inside of all this hubbub.
Im wordsmithing up some new zingers and i think snapping my fingers and slapping my knee and going "what the fluff!?!" might be a goodun let me know what you guys think.
^^hoW cute!^^ ^^i think lusus loVers Will get a lot out of that.^^
hehehe, thats a pretty good one!
● /\__\__/\ / \ \(ﾐ ⌒ ● ⌒ ﾐ)/ ★SHORT SWEET AND TO THE POINT, KUPO★
What the fluff! This little critter just minted my new phrase.
Im two steps ahead of you dude.
Id be a really piss poor celebrity if i razzed the kindly intentions of every junior believer out there. If you wanna shimmy your shoulders and tut on your neighbor boy with a little prayer for some hope mojo im not gonna snub you in some shakedown. No hate to my other mes of course im a big fan of their work too. Just stop taking the hair from my brush and stuff thats like a squatbodied dude trying to slim down. (Off pudding!) (Like off putting heh.)
Worst suck a shrimp saturday ever!
If luck be a lady then shes one ornery gal because what in the sam hill man. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d6a7414d7da2.jpg
Is that you in your profile picture.
/ That's / The Spirit. #positive
It is no one else but I, Hektor Castio~~. In the flesh~~~~.
Then boy howdy yessir. Im in a real pickle and i need some strong mitted mister to give me a handout!
I'd gladly suck the sausage clean off your upholstery any day~~~~~~~. They look so plump~.
what the fuck were you using to carry all that, your hands????
Basket. :(
i'm no southerner, but i'm pretty sure you were suppose to carry that in one of those big ass Military grade Pots
OH, JAKE, NO. :(
nOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Organizing and executing group breakfast with the #ExtendedAlphaKids is such a chore! If Jake votes IHOPE, Eridan insists on Offal House. Dirk's specifications on observing every exit from the corner are the least of my worries. And they MUST have vegan options on the menu, for Miss Priss @adiosToreador. ... Roxy and Callie don't pose much of an issue, actually. Unless the restaurant refuses to serve the bacon raw. Then the latter can get a little hangry.
And Casper too if it's not too much trouble. :B
A contrarian in my corner keeps me on the up and up! For a fella so deadset on smacking me upside the dome piece with his saynothing chitchat about the glorious ways all things can be smothered and covered he sure doesnt take well to a little impromptu booth bro footsie or better yet an arm around the shoulder to showcase our immaculately goofy and nonserious dedication to each other.
Jane youve got yourself a fan the booth only seats 6 (tavros gets her a seat of her own due to the horns you know how it is) but she can sign you an autograph on our way back through the doors. :)
How much do you think that'll sell for?
To me it would be priceless for a regular dick and harry on the street itd be worth at LEAST a buck fifty.
(Old timey way of saying 150 dollars i mean! ;P)
wHAT IS, a PRISS?
Having a good one with the friendly fisherman himself @goannasAcrimony ! One sip of ikriom juice (aqua freskriom) and my dude goes buck wild haha cant take him anywhere. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2a57c94059bc.png
<-|--|~~ i waS checking the material.
Weve all been there bro sometimes we all need to check the fit and feel of some prospective britches.
>([w#en i see dat butt] #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/38b094f01eac.png]
how to hate a post A TRILLION TIMES
How /\re there th/\t m/\ny re/\ctions wh/\t the hell///
Hit chitt—
Okay man,
Do you folks think i could eat a 28 inch diameter pizza.
You certainly could if you were determined enough but i dunno if itd be a very pleasant experience.
I TOLD YOU TO STOP ASKING PEOPLE ABOUT THE DAMN 28 INCH PIZZA. A 28 INCH DIAMETER PIZZA IN 28 MINUTES IS NOT, AND I QUOTE, "ONE INCH OF PIZZA PER MINUTE."
If theres a challenge afoot ill be the first to put boots down!
Naysayers appear at every turn to dog my aspirations but i shant go under! Im treading water here which is precisely what they forfeit one cup of for my chow time.
if you locked in and through the power a hope yeah i reckon you would crush that challenge with ease
Oh yes the hope stuff i forgot about that.
Peeping through the looking glass sure does make me feel wonky. Most of you long in the tooth born and bred alternians are regular gluttons for violence but my good pal (earth c ways) is named bagell britch and all they do is kindly serve up the deli day in and day out. I wonder if earth c trolls are just born a little softer or if youve all secretly got an epic heart of gold hidden beneath your social fritz and bloodthirsty fiddlefaddle...
It brings a tear to my eye to hear folks take "our boys in blue" as some tip of the hat towards the boys with a badge and *not* an inclusive shoutout to our (very) fine fellas up and down the middle gradient of the (caddish) (NOT good) hemospectrum.
Every time i turn up to some klatch i get this kind of overhanging presence like theres some humbug shooting me the heebie jeebies. At first i thought it was a sponsor hot on my tail and trying to trap my fur for falling off the wagon but ive come to find that its actually probably nothing at all! And im just being kind of hypervigilant for no reason.
Say does anyone start to sweat when theyre alone for no good reason or is it just me.
Me and you tav maybe its a page thing.
This is why i trust my most hearty and ineffable squeeze! My firmest and snuggest gal pal were just two bugs in a rug.
Howdy-do! A couple of official announcements, summarized from the July recap bulletin, for those of you neglecting to tune into BBW, or the BettyBroadcast Worldwide network. DEALS: August is ICE CREAM MONTH! Celebrate and take cover from the summer heat with that special someone by selecting one of your favorite BETTY CROCKER FROZEN DESSERT PRODUCTS from a participating retailer today, buy one get one free! <3 PHILANTRHOPY: Our most recent BAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION winner is URJINN PAUVRE! Urjinn is a twelve sweep-old goldblooded troll living in the CARAPACIAN KINGDOM, and five-time applicant to the program! His wish was for the divine resurrection of his long-dead moirail, POBRAY CEETOH! Urjinn, your impassioned written pleas have finally fallen on receptive ears! Congratulations, and I wish you all the best. Don't let Pobray behind the wheels of ANY MORE scuttlebuggies, and certainly not perpendicular to any more train tracks! We at Crockercorp wish you all the best! :B PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Crockercorp is also determined to support the ever-crumbling financial framework of the Human Kingdom and beyond. Please congratulate the following public programs for their recent partnership with Crockercorp and its subsidiaries: - HUMAN KINGDOM PUBLIC HEALTH AND NUTRITION ASSOCIATION - HUMAN KINGDOM HOSPITAL AUTHORITY - HUMAN KINGDOM JOINT WATER AND SEWER SERVICES - HUMAN KINGDOM DEPARTMENT OF CIVILIAN SAFETY - HUMAN KINGDOM INVESTIGATIVE BUREAU
They only have four fingers janey you must excuse their slapdash craftsmanship. They simply didnt mean to give you a big ol loogie and a fat little bottom.
HUMPH!!!
:(
CAN THE RAPSCALLIONS ABOVE ME KEEP THEIR BRITCHES ON.
It seems not. :B
What were those remarks you were just making about my, and I quote, "fat little bottom?"
Not like that!
... Dare I ask in what activities these aforementioned heifers are even participating?
｢( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)｣
｢щ(゜▽゜щ)cardio fitness.｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: boiyoing.]