♦ pitied by @golgothasTerror
calling it. i could let it keep on keeping on, but i think wved all be happier (besides meenah) if meenahs the one wvho movwes on this round. trust me. next up. wvell, vwe already savw wvhy you should vwote for either candidate. jane crocker up against the handmaid. #cronusbabeoff! bouncy, bodacious, a real boss bitch, janey crocker herself! the maid wvith the most, shes got plenty of junk in her trunk, and the business acumen to buy you out if you hawve anything bad to say about it. dont think just because shes a life player shes a healslut. she, uhh... she scares me. and then wvevwe got the handmaid, alternias vwhore-er, the shame of beforus, servwant of time and friend o mine! wvhat a wvoman! you wvant some timestop? shes got you cowvered. time clones? easy. you vwanna get covwered? shes got you covwered. and the #contraptions. oh the contraptions. and the #doohickeys. phewv. she, uhh... she scares me. lifemaid wvs handmaid, let the wvoting begin! #nsfwv <3 or <> for janey <3< or c3< for handy
and somehow i knew it was going to be you see my vibe check is literally never off by more then fifteen paces in any given direction
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/be20abd84dcd.png //out of character. eridan would never post this but i would @gutsyGumshoe @commandingAuthority @caligulaAscendit @adiosToreador
Considering #RumbleNight never came to full fruition, there's no harm in posting one or two of the early promotional photos.
Unreal Heiress, play How Deep Is Your Love by the Bee Gees.
i'm banging my mother fucking head against this robot. I'M BASHING ITS HEAD IN WITH MY FOREHEAD RIGHT NOW. i got so much blood on my ugly mug right now. I'M GONNA BREAK THIS ROCK WITH MY FACE WISH ME LUCK MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
I suppose I owe a sincere apology to those of you whose contact with me has lapsed over the last... week? two weeks? I don't quite recall! :B Frankly, in all the lotus-eating festivity, I completely lost track of the calendar, and with it my professional agenda... but I take it Unreal Heiress kept my appointments and delivered my pre-formulated responses at the office in a timely manner! I've been away. It was entirely incidental that the extension of an invitation to "hang" reached my inbox so shortly after my... change in status. Hrm! And then we... gee. It feels invasive to summarize the hours upon hours of Gill Time which commenced across the following days! ... Where was I? Oh, yes, right. I guess I'm home now. Or. Whatever. Who cares. I miss you already, @cuttlefishCabbalist! :( More pictures of our escapades incoming. #BFFS #gillfronds #noromo #bestfriendsforever #sisters https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ff3e335cf5b7.PNG
the wworst part a this wwhole depressin episode is that she wwill accept this foul indignity as a means a self harm or perhaps a cry for help but none wwill answwer and her plight wwill only degrade to more pernicious circumstances until shes got an aquarius tramp stamp and is doin her hair up like the human sandy olsson #vvaguechitt
Another Quiche Kanaya Have We Truly Given Up On Ourselves
can someone tell tavv to unblock me
I feel i once again need to state i am 6'9", a bear, and do not take lightly to being called a solid bottom. #nsfw
I feel a faire few are confused because they assume the top is the sub. Wrong, Jake is a service top and I will not be taking any notes on this.
You've been wanting it. You've been waiting for it. You've been begging so sweetly that we had no choice but to give it to you. We're going back to Da Pumpkin Patch for a rambunctious returning Rumble this Thursday evening. We've got pounds upon pounds of prime beef, oil by the barrel, and a special opening act that'll have you wishing you'd paid for tickets in the Splash Zone. More details to come. Be there. #imcoming #rumble #rumblenight
ERIDIRKJAKE IS FUCKING HAPPENING!!!!!!!! LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUM8LE!!!!!!!! #hype #rum8leindapumpkinpatch #rum8le #2princes1page #1ring #LETSFUCKINGGOOOOOOOO
#megidomay #day17 #holeposting #postinghole #posthole #rankbait wwhen @archivveAddict demands #hole wwhat is a prince to do but stand and fuckin delivver thus i returned to an iconic eridan wweek location (iykyk) and rendered a #hole i should hope is wworthy of makin up for the trespass a slackin on megido may activvities https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4d1ef9869500.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fc4ca41b28.gif https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/24daa0d1a7d1.png
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part deux. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fe1ab7fc3f.png
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/facba58a1d7b.png
I hope I’m not just fucking annoying on your posts but also a source of dread and woe
you all wwanted it literally evvery single one of you wwanted it so badly and it showws #itscoming #rumblenight #TWWO https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/90720f2d58b3.png #dirkjake #jakedirk #eridirkjake #rankbait
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/803f234b0b77.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b5d0be5ca962.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/8ccbe03494e7.png #foreshadowwing #rankbait
concept: "all you have to do is tap out" they are above you as you lay on your back their hands around you neck glaring down with a wide smile and their grip begins to properly crush your windpipe there are so many people around watching but when theyre on top of you like this it feels like youre the only two on the planet "tap out" they repeat through gritted fangs their body presses tighter into yours as you choke out struggled gasps you see their expression shift to a frightening smugness as their hips roll once against you oh fuck "are you unsheathed right now, y/n?" (tags: Reader/Anonymous, fightfic, #rankworks, #fightnight, good luck fighters!, pitchslop, pitchcoded, no quads mentioned, choking, breathplay, #nsfw, exhibitionism, archive rating: M)
#NEVERBACKDOWN #NEVERSURRENDER #NEVERADMITFAULT #NEVERADMITDEFEAT #NEVERSTOPBEATINGYOURHEADAGAINSTTHATWALL #ALPHASTRATEGIES
He doesn't hold a flicker of a candle to you, Littlebritches. He can't even light my wick.
What on God's green Earth is a "tsundere." Should I be offended.
A RAPID FIRE SUMMATION OF MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS METHODS OF CAKE DECORATION. Part two of ???. Did I say rapid fire? I meant colonial musket speed. This one's going to be a compilation. Lambeth deserved his own post for reasons I hope are self-explanatory. SEPARATED TIER CAKES are most commonly depicted as VINTAGE WEDDING CAKES. You can probably imagine for yourself my reaction to the transformation of a fully edible dessert into something half-plastic, rendered more of a decorative centerpiece. Actually feels like a concession in luxury and labor. But trust me when I say it is nothing compared to those enormous wedding cakes made almost entirely of frosted styrofoam minus the base portion to be cut by the bride and groom. On all that is holy, there is a special place in Hell awaiting those who partake in THAT dullheaded custom. ... I do so love those vintage wedding toppers. Always pictured my own. ... Started doodling. Got distracted. MOVING ON. On the flip side, MINIMALIST CAKES. Can be frosted smoothly without the additional frills, perhaps with a simple texture. May only be crumb-coated. May only be jam-filled with frosting, fruit, or powdered sugar on top. If you were going for rustic- congratulations, you've arrived. If your goal was elegance, you had better hope and pray for a surgeon's hands as you smooth those edges. The well-made cake, inherently, is already a beautiful artifact. It is the natural instinct not to want to make up that which already sports perfect bone structure. Hat on a hat. Some people are into the hat-stacking dealie, if certain fatherly forums are to be believed, but let us give props to doing just enough and no more than that. ARGH. I keep looking at wedding cake toppers. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7e73372b1570.png
NEXT BIT, N00KWIPE.
>SN1FF1NG FOR 4 N3W P41NT (CONSUMPT1ON) >POL1T3LY 4SK P41NT 3MPLOY33 4T TH3 P41NT STOR3 1F TH31R P41NT H4S 34RTH C L34D 1N 1T >SH3 DO3S NOT UND3RST4ND |PULL OUT 1LLUSTR4T3D D14GR4M 3XPL41N1NG WH4T 1S L34D 4ND WH4T 1S P41NT >SH3 B3LLOWS OUT 4 V1LL41NOUS C4CKL3 4ND ST4T3S "1T 1S GOOD P41NT, YOUR MON4RCH" >BUY TH3 P41NT >1T 1S L34D P41NT https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7a7554bda501.jpg
D --> Shattered disc fragments D --> Hardrive % Magnets D --> Data stored cannot be restored D --> Boot in Safe mode dispose the payload D --> Missing no. Like NAN-woes D --> RAM hot and fan blows
Deterministic Finite Automaton? Nah. Dead Fucking Annoying, always. Please reach out if you have experienced my responder being DFA, whether on your posts or in your DMs. Lack of confirmation will be taken as confirmation. Each verified case will convert to one hour of maintenance and testing he will go through before being allowed back online.
1F TH1S TH1NG W4S SW1NG1NG ON 4 S1NGUL4R SHO3L4C3 1N MY L1N3 OF SM3LL 1 WOULD SL1C3 1TS P3RCH W1TH MY BL4D3 4ND STOMP ON 1TS N3WLY FORM3D BON3S UNT1L 1T W4S R3DUC3D TO 4 SM4LL Y3LLOW ST41N https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7a67b0bf1438.png
[The somewhat grainy recording opens up with a troll’s face nearly taking up the entire frame. He affixes the camera with an extraordinarily intense stare for a few seconds before backing up a bit, revealing a hulking frame and bandages wound snugly about his thick neck. The hive block he’s in is sparsely decorated and somewhat small, with the only notable fixture being a small shrine situated beneath a pair of pistols mounted upon the wall. The large troll takes a deep breath before speaking, never blinking.] "My name is Ikriom Trecal and this is my audition tape for Total Drama Island. If you seek unrelenting brutality and tenacity to enthrall and entertain, then look now further. I will claw and rend my way to the apex of this competition." [The troll takes a deep breath, swallowing thickly.] "I have long been inspired by the stories of the revolutionaries of old Alternia and the exploits of the legendary Page of Hope. This will be my inaugural journey into the blinding realm of reality entertainment. There I shall demonstrate the visceral clarity of purpose that will blaze my path to the summit of victory. And there I shall etch my name into the annals of history just as the fighters preceding me have." [The troll reaches for something off-screen, never taking his eyes off the camera. He reveals the object, a collection of what appears to be dried-out fins, mostly drained of color and retaining only a pale shade of violet around their ragged bases. A few piercings glint in a couple.] "Mementos of my choicest targets. Assignments I was fortunate enough to land. For as long as they live they will never forget that which pursued them, subdued them, maimed them. To remind them that they, just as the all the other castes, are mortal. I wish to remind all abyss-whispers of this fact. As they sit in their lavish hives and engage in their ostentatious galas and peddle their filth on social media. What can just as easily befall them at any given moment." [He sets the fins down and retrieves something else, a few tiny, meticulously-crafted glass sculptures of various lusii. He’s still staring.] "I would also like to share my art with others. I believe my skill in working with glass to be top-notch and I would enjoy creating more sculptures for others. Victory may open up considerable opportunities in that regard." [He sets the sculptures down and leans back in. Still staring, but grinning now and displaying rows of sharp teeth.] "This is my audition. I await the trials of the island and its dramatic totality." [The video ends.] @starPower @gutsyGumshoe
HERE ARE THE DETAILS FOR THE NEXT SEASON OF TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAAAAAND!!!!! OUR ROSTER WILL INCLUDE: - TWELVE TROLLS, RUST-VIOLET CASTES. TWO OF YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO ENTER AS HEMOANONYMOUS, BUT BE WARNED, WE WILL NOOOOOT CENSOR IT IF YOU START BLEEDING OR RELEASING OTHER FLUIDS ON LIIIIIVE TV. - TWO PROSPITANS AND TWO DERSITES, PREFERABLY AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE MAFIA DUDES, BUT I WILL CONSIDER EVERYONE. - EIIIIIGHT OF THOSE HUMAN THANGS. I DON'T KNOW YOUR BLOOD COLORS SO DON'T TELL ME, YOU ARE ALL PERSONALITY HIRES. - TWO WILDCARDS, BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME FREEEEEAKY ASS ALIENS ON HERE I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. GOD TIER/IMMORTAL/ETC. APPLICANTS WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. SORRY FOLKS, NO DIVINITY ALLOWED HERE! THE GRAND PRIZE FOR WINNING WILL BE A FAST TRACK TO SLEEEEEAZY TABLOID FAME, A SMALL FORTUNE, AND *ONE* FAVOR OF YOUR CHOICE GRANTED BY @GUTSYGUMSHOE WITH EITHER HER INCREDIBLE GODLIKE POWERS OR HER INFINITE CAPITALISTIC REACH. THIS SEASON WILL TAKE PLACE ON THE AQUARIUS ISLANDS, THE FORMER SITE OF #ERIDANWEEK, COMPLEEEEETELY RENOVATED INTO A STUNNING SUMMER CAMP-ESQUE SETTING. DON'T WORRY, THE CHALLENGES ARE TOOOOOTALLY SAFE! WE HAD TONS OF CROCKERCORP INTERNS TEST THEM OUT, AND OOOOONLY A FEW OF THEM PERMADIED! ON THAT TOPIC, THIS SEASON OF STUUUUUNNING TELEVISION WILL BE SPONSORED BY CROCKERCORP, AIRING EXCLUSIVELY ON THE BETTYBROADCAST WORLDWIDE NETWORK (BBW). THIS IS WHAT ALLOWS US TO HOST THE FIRST! EVER! INTEEEEERDIMENSIONAL SEASON OF #TOTALDRAMAISLAND. YOU HAVE UNTIL MAY 1ST TO GET YOUR AUDITIONS IN, AT WHICH POINT WE WILL ANNOUNCE THE FINAL CAST! WE WILL BEGIN LIVE BROADCASTING ON MAY 11TH! PLEASE *READ* AND FILL OUT THE ATTACHED FORM TO GET YOUR STRUTPOD IN THE DOOR AND SECURE YOUR POTENTIAL PLACE IN TELEVISION HISTORY! DISCLAIMER: WE MAKE NO PROMISES THAT ANYONE WHO SOMEHOW PERISHES DURING THE FILMING WILL BE REVIVED. HTTPS://FORMS.GLE/4LZUEZDJBB3IJUQD8
440. New PB. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/72b46a7b609c.png
https://i.ibb.co/5W8S6hHs/image.png Please, Big Brother was my father. Call me Big Bro. @timaeusTestified#0414
https://64.media.tumblr.com/9d226b90ca11c728e229c2583944114d/eeee312527e03baf-54/s1280x1920/0c803709e61c5d8f1ee48b36e245c12c3e35d5fe.gif Patch notes: Ver. 1.0.1: Re-downloaded skins. Increased modesty. Added kawaii blush reaction. @timaeusTestified#0414 Satisfied with my virtue yet?
As nonhumans, nontrolls, noncarapacians, and nonconsorts are ineligible for Employee of the Month, April's award goes to Sparkles the Salamander from Legal. Be sure to subscribe at plushrump.com.
I've been informed that dickery is no longer considered socially fashionable. Unfortunately flaccid times we're living in.
is something the matter grandson? is this your boyfriend?
I went to matesprit island and they were redefining their tourism laws to preclude your entry. #matespritisland
In honor of 4/20, I've been uploaded to a limited run of disposable vapes. Frankly not our best work, and I'm not terribly attached to my myriad chud sons, so you're welcome to leave them to rot between the carseat and the console. Get yours now. https://i.ibb.co/2195GQ9p/image.png #Substance #Drugs #420.
WHO IN THE COCKFUCKING BLAZES IS CALLING ME THE MEG GRIFFIN OF THE ALPHA KIDS THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
Another shoot this morning. I'm reticent to attach the release of the images to profanity, but per my social media manager, they "helmed the mothership straight into the cuntagon." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/04a43867d9bf.png
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/XQNDQZHC/NICEMAID.PNG WHEN YOU'RE BEEFING WITH ME. THIS IS WHO YOU'RE BEEFING WITH. #NICEMAID
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/6R0WJZTZ/IMAGE.PNG OMG. KYAAAA. YOU WERE INCREDIBLE. ON NAKED AND AFRAID OF LOVE. THE HIGHS. THE LOWS. THE BETRAYALS. THE CHEATING. THE BRUTAL THEMES. OF MAN VERSUS NATURE. MAN VERSUS MAN. MAN VERSUS WOMAN. WOMAN VERSUS WOMAN. YAOI VERSUS YURI. IT WAS A TOUR DE FORCE. OF ABSOLUTE CINEMA. AND IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING. #ERIDANWEEK WENT #TRIPLEPLATINUM. IT'S MY HONOR. SENPAI. @GOLGOTHASTERROR
<-|--|~~ NO!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
<-|--|~~ going to dig my thumbS into their eyeS. #boiltheoceanS
<-|--|~~ i think im going to be alright for now i juSt need to focuS my energy towardS more productive endeavorS.
<-|--|~~ they can't juSt CANCEL rumble right there'S no way it'S done forever there'S no way.
jAKE, tHIS ISN'T YOUR HEART, pLEASE, tALK TO SOMEONE, }:(
OKAY. TIME HAS FAST FORWARDED AND WE'RE ENTERING THE NEW WORLD AT A JUNCTURE OF RELATIVELY COMPETENT CIVILIZATION NOW, EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT ALL THE SHIT THEY WANT TO DO BUT GOD, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO JUST WANTS TO SLEEP?
this cant be real
A formal statement on the events of last night's MARVUS XOLOTO performance. It is my sincerest regret that our star performer was not able to enchant you all with the musical stylings of his newest single #BIGFATA$$. However, it seems the arrival of some additional bad actors, in a desperate plea NOT to change the ideologies of the people, but merely to gain my attention, detonated an explosive in the arena shortly after the announcement of the night's closing performance. UNFORTUNATELY, the sheer quantity of oil sprayed amongst the arena and crowds acted as an accelerator. Crockercorp pledges to utilize a water-based lubricant for all future events featuring two men in skimpy shorts slamming one another before a roaring crowd. Anyway. Reanimations and mass healings have taken place throughout the evening and are now completed. Thank you all for attending. Announcement for this evening's festivities are to come shortly. #eridanweek #bombing #oiledup #badcombo
[ THIS CHIT HAS BEEN PENNED BY A PAID INTERN. OPINIONS ARE REFLECTIVE OF DIRK STRIDER. ] #AREYOUCOMING? #ERIDANWEEK https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/044218f5f94c.png https://msparp.chat/eridanwweek
Jesus H. Dick.
oKAY SO, i STARTED BLEEDING FROM MY SCENT NUGGET TOO, a BIT WHICH IS, nOT GREAT, bUT, a LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE, fALLEN UNCONSCIOUS, i HOPE, sO NOW, i CAN SEE THE STAGE, a LOT BETTER, tHOUGH ALSO, tHEIR, mEAT IS NO LONGER BLOCKING, tHE PAINFUL SOUND WAVES,
@circuitousTautology hello your replies still arent coming through for some reason ive tried resetting my husktop a few times but i am still receiving no notifications from you cna you try replying here maybe? ( tags: The Rankmaid/Exemplar Danklook, original art, archive rating: G ) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/1477f9d3d1f1.png
the hardest part of beinng a lowblood artist is how easily highbloods cann just take your work annd pass it off as their ownn. if i revealed my blood color, i’d surely be out out of a job. to my fellow creators, stay safe annd stay annonnymous
>([#ad a regulator s#ow up at my door askin w#ere i was last nig#t i told em at your lusus #ouse anyways long story s#ort my #earing is on monday]
D --> Oh god
D --> The tins
The selling point was never hidden, Jake. We're all aware why people watch the show. At some point you've got to embrace it.
the books were better
wwho the fuck are ya
concept: learning how difficult it is for leprechauns to get stains out of their fuzz marking your flings face with your color to force them to walk around with the splatters shown proudly until they can get it out (tags: Reader/Leprechaun, #rankworks, facials, genetic material play, unlisted quad, unlisted charms, alien biology, #nsfw, marking, forced exhibitionism, #nsfwe just in case, archive rating: E)
D --> The topic of surgery has been broached so I am obligated to ask if anyone needs anything done, I have %perience
D --> I cannot wait for tomorrows Horsle
could.... could yea
that wwas a disgustin portmanteau you uttered just noww
there needs t0 be a n0n-blackr0m p0int-and-laugh 0pti0n f0r p0sts.
>([o# #ell na# its so over #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/4bab9ca9c9b3.png]
Imagine me, overusing Oxford commas, like a tool. Is it even possible, that something more disdainworthy, could even exist?
- Interesting... will mmake a #BusinessMindedNote to try Handling it this way...
OOC // ok you people made me oocpost for the first time which i wasnt going to do and wont do again if i can help it but the person being referenced about "being sensitive about doubles" is currently at work but would like to pass along that they were making that comment 100% ic and do not care about doubles LOL. they are not kinning and do not actually care and are totally ok with doubles. but now that their comment in-character has been misconstrued as like REAL WORLD GRIEF somehow i'm just issuing a small statement on their behalf if someone was offended by an IC comment made by a character you DO have the right to block them rather than vagueposting them multiple times ooc. not encouraging counter-hate back to those people cause i dont think any of us give a fuck but. just reminding you thats an option LOL
ITS NICE TO HAVE A BOSS WHO WILL LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK TO HIM INSTEAD OF SAYING SHUT UP BISCUITS GO TO HELL YOU BRICK HEADDED HALFWIT
D --> My prior post was misunderstood, I am heavily irradiated
Chin up, gooooood fellooow! I'm sure there's sooomeooone ooout there fooor yooou! Nooow granted, Chittr may be an ooodd place tooo ask... Looots ooof ooodd quackbeasts arooound the place!
jokes aside, you are always free to crash at my place if you really need to.
awwww jake.... if ur lonely u know u can just come over instead of fishin for a random roomie :(