#cw-abuse
......in a lot of ways, being a vessel to be possessed had a kind of intimacy to it. its something i didnt know i needed or wanted until it was gone. even though i hated every second of it. how can someone need and want something they despised so viscerally with every fiber of their being?
[ENTRY 12692] […NO. NO. I REJECT THIS REALITY. I REJECT IT ENTIRELY AND FULLY. HE DOES NOT DECIDE WHEN HE LEAVES. WHEN HE IS DONE. ONLY I DO. AND NEITHER DO THOSE TWO TEMPTRESS BITCHES. I AM GOING TO FIND THEM. ALL THREE OF THEM. AND THEN I AM GOING TO TEAR THEM APART PIECE BY PIECE. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. UNTIL THEY ARE *BEGGING* TO BE MINE. AND I WILL DO THAT AGAIN AND AGAIN ACROSS ALL REALITY. UNTIL I AM FINALLY SATISFIED. UNTIL ALL THE PRIZES I WANT ARE MINE. I REFUTE ANY OTHER OUTCOME. HONK. HONK.]
yaaaay n∞thin like finding ∞ut there has been a standing price ∞n y∞ur b∞dy f∞r sweeps y∞u kn∞w what im glad i killed him. #suggestive #vi∞lence #cw-abuse
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘: @croesuskingpin back Then, You Thought That's What Love Felt Like. Love Was Pain, Love Was Bruises, Love Was Violence And Love Was The Inability To Say No. And You Didn't Decline Because You Didn't Want To, You Didn't Decline Because You Couldn't, Because If You Stirred And Wriggled And Punched And Complained He Would Only Sink His Teeth And Claw At Your Body Even Harder, Even Deeper. now, You Come In Every Now And Again In His Office To Mourn. Thankful He's Not Around Anymore..but Deep Inside, A Part Of Yourself Knows You Miss Him, You Miss His Voice And ...Read more
Ah... Im bEIng cAllEd In tO wOrk... thEy knOw I jUst wEnt tO thE clOwnfEssOr thE nIght bEfOrE yEs? I... sUppOsE I cAnnOt lEAvE my brOthEr wAItIng... blEssEd bE
I sUppOsE It wOUld bE In my bEst IntErEst tO fInd A mEdIcUllEr tO fIx thE scArs... As my tUtOr AlwAys sAId, Its ImpOrtAnt tO lOOk yOUr bEst, And nOt sUlly A schOlArs bOdy wIth A wArrIOrs scArs...
thEy mIght dO It AgAIn...
thE wOrst pArt AbOUt tAkIng lAshIngs Is thE wOUnds On yOUr bAck ArE vEry lOng, And In A pArt Of yOUr bOdy thAt mOvEs And chAngEs A lOt, sO OncE A scAb fOrms yOU nEEd tO kEEp It stIll, Or rIsk It OpEnIng OncE mOrE lUckIly, thIs tImE I dId nOt rEqUIrE stItchEs, sO, vEry kInd Of thE clOwnfEssOr... AmEn
[you would never tell those on chittr, but you flinched like an abused dog when you saw a a purple name next to the term 'hate' for one of your chits] #cw-abuse #cw-religious-trauma
Oh, hmm It sEEms thE lAshIng hUrt mOrE thAn I ExpEctEd, gOOdnEss, wEll, I hAvE stOppEd All Of my IncOrrEct thInkIng fOr thE tImE... my pAn Is nIcE And clEAr, my sOUl Is prOpErly mIrthfUl, And thOUgh thE bOdy AchEs It Is Only A tEmpOrAry vEssEl pErhAps I shAll rEtUrn tO mAtEsprIt chIxIE thEn... lIE dOwn... fOr A fEw nIghts... (( #cw-AbUsE #cw-rElIgIOUs-trAUmA ))
one time my ex laced my hrt #cw-substance #cw-abuse
i think the reason i like being pet so much is because part of me is still bec and he really really enjoyed that when i was growing up but i think the other part is when i was a kid i never really had any kind of physical affection available then i worked for condence, where the only real physical touch i got was fighting and killing. then i got stuck waiting alone for seven years so i think just any kind of physical touch i think is good at this point, even if it hurts me it means that i'm worth enough for someone to use effort on me. #cw-abuse #violence
in other news i think i associate fear with positive results because of my brother and is probably a core reason i want him so bad even though he is dead as fuck #incest #abuse #cw-abuse #cw-abuse
---- |um I really hope they take this thing off me soon it's been on for ages um they only [indistinct] off when they feed me [indistinct] hate it um because they grab me and I can't [indistinct] tired of it [indistinct] didn't say how long I have to keep it on [indistinct] locked on| ____
---- |if I ask for more [indistinct] on the palmhusk I might not get it back for nights but I really want [indistinct] f*ck f*ck the door please no table okay good I can't see [indistinct] mm hungry again maybe they're feeding me wait no [indistinct] scary one's back no please no-| ____
gr[u]bb[e]rd [a]nd f[u]ck[e]rs [o]f th[e] s[i]t[e] [a]ny n[o]n-sgr[u]b w[a]ys t[o] g[e]t my h[u]m[a]n m[oi]r[ai]l t[o] m[e]? h[i]s h[u]m[a]n d[a]d [i]s [a] d[a]ng[e]r [a]nd [i] n[ee]d t[o] f[ee]l j[a]c[e] h[i]s p[i]lls l[i]k[e] [a] h[oo]fb[ea]st w[i]th s[a]cch[e]r[i]n[e] c[u]b[e]s
---- |[indistinct] mm tired hurts [indistinct] want this off please| ____
is it really abuse if when they hit you it really doesn't hurt that much #cw-abuse
---- |[This post has been deleted! Sorry!] ((OOC: The video was deleted, but feel free to say that your character downloaded it/saved it or otherwise saw the contents)) [vindictiveTautophony has uploaded a video!] [OOC: The video lasts about 4 seconds. Clear water reaches to halfway up the camera's view, the waterline seen behind thick glass. The metal wire hatching in the glass shows it to be the reinforced type. There is the shadow of something at the top, above where the camera shows. A young adult troll can be seen from the shoulders up, reaching inquisitively towards the camera with blunte...Read more
he terrifies me and i also fantasize about him gently holding me and smiling and telling me he loves me more than anything even that puppet #incest #yearning #cw-abuse #tw-abuse
the casual mix between discomfort and yearning when thinking about my older brother #incest #yearning #abuse #cw-abuse #tw-abuse
D --> How do I %press that I wish to be kept as a prized stallion D --> But also a precious little colt lovingly doted on D --> But also I want to have my bones broke from time to time D --> All while sounding normal about it
i only have two exes one of thems my current moirail and the other was my older sister i think i perhap's shouldnt weigh in on this current topic
i love roxy they're the best kinda miss people being more rough with me affection wise a little bit though #cw-abuse
i hate knowing im not even a person. created by a bunch of peoples options to be a "vessel" for some evil fucking demon eyeball and then i guess thrown down to earth like 20-something year's ago where i experienced abuse first at the hands of my sister then at the hands of the people i fell in with after running away from home when i was i didnt ask to be created i dont want to be this fucking thing thats only purpose has been to serve host to some shitty fucking eye was me being sent to earth part of it how much did wdg know would happen have i been fucking groomed for this broken so that ill make...Read more
i'm going to hurt her again #cw-abuse
i just want some proof he cared about me or that he didnt hate me #cw-abuse #tw-abuse
feeling nostalgic. need someone to hurt me in a sickening way that makes me feel like ill never amount to anything and will always just be a pathetic object to be abused and used
spotify is so funny you can just search missing my abuser and someone made a playlist about it and then you can sort of think about the fact you are not alone in that different kind of abuse between me and this playlist maker i imagine but it is sort of nice in a fucked up way to know other people get like this too #tw-abuse #cw-abuse
i don't care how relentless i was i just wanted it to all go away #cw-abuse #vagueposting
getting morning wood used to be fine but after being raped by someone i met on pesterchum it just feel's like my own body is violating me. i didnt ask for this boner. the fuck. but i dont even know why i feel that way. its far from the first time that kinda things happened to me and i didnt give so much of a shit back then maybe its cause i care about myself more now than when i was a kid idfk #cw-rape #cw-abuse #rape #rape-mention #cw-mental-health #cw-rape-mention #cw-sexual-abuse #vent
---- |I was thinking about it during the procedure earlier to try to distract myself enough so I could behave but um I think I know what to add to the name on here to make it look more like a name a troll could have| ____
therapist said something about how it's not normal for your romantic partners to hit you? no lol pretty sure thats normal. #cw-abuse
i think im gonna abstain from using pesterchum / trollian forever now that i have chittr access again. dont trust a mf you meet on there. i thought i made a friend, invited her over after wed been talking a few days, and she drugged and raped me. not fun.
---- |wait no I wasn't asking genuinely please don't take the palmhusk away I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please no I'll be good I won't ask about that again--| ____
NOBODY ELSE GETS TO HARM MY FUCKING KISMESIS, ESPECIALLY NOT HIS DISGUSTING, WORTHLESS EXCUSE OF A HUSBAND.
▲someone I was meeting with called me 'terrible putting cigarettes out on people' cuz 'you dont know how it feels to have it done to you'▼ ▲course I fucking do, you think I picked the habit up from thin air?▼
"I never m__ke mist__kes" "Y__u sh__uld be __sh__med __f y__urself" I dunn________ being st__rved t__ de__th __nd br__ken b__nes __nd sweeps __f f__rced is__l__ti__n __nd c__nspiring __g__inst me re__lly m__kes __ m__re c__mpelling __rgument th__n feeling guilt __b__ut my __cti__ns!!! The l__ck __f __cc__unt__bility re__lly drives it in t____!
---- |oh enrichment time is over now bye chittr send chitt um could I please get the palmhusk back when the procedure's done please I'll be good I promise I will please um okay no no thank you thank you| ____
also abusive women hmu #cw-abuse
i know i should like heal or something im doing therapy im on meds healing and whatever but honestly if he fucks me up psychologically like completely fucking tortures me mentally and physically. if he. yeah. need that. #nsfwe #violence #abuse #cw-abuse
Abuse is kind of hot, yes I am a completely well adjusted individual why do you ask? #cw-abuse
i'd let him break me down and mold me into whatever shape he desired, and when i step out of line he can start all over again #cw-abuse #stockholm #incest implied
i want him to love me unconditionally, pet me when i'm good and hold me a little tighter before i go and talk to me like i actually mean anything more than just another check on a to-do list the same way that iwant him to punch me until i puke wnd hold me down n fuck me til i cant stand and choke me harder when my vision starts to blur and its fucking disgusting #nsfw #nsfwe #noncon (implied) #violence #abuse #stockholm #incest #cw-abuse #vent ig
zometimez i ztill mizz kanaka. dezpite all zhe did to me. maybe. if it werent for her. i wouldnt have ended up like thiz. but i dont blame her for what zhe did i could never it hurt, yeah. i felt dizguzting afterwardz, but i dezerved it. at leazt. zhe. waz alwayz there for me. even if it only waz to. beat me up.
thinking back to my childhood and feeling weird realizing my bro didnt know as much as i thought he did and that he couldnt read my mind or see me all the time it fucks me up to realize there was stuff he didnt know or notice even he had his cams and shit #abuse #cw-abuse
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘: Ƙ₳ηҝᴚเ.....? you Keep Thinking About Your Past. You Keep Thinking About Who You Were Raised By Under The Culling Program. The Memories You Repressed. The Memories You Didn't Want To Remember. The Things You Just Pushed Away To Forget. You Only Wanted To Remember The Good. Even If That Meant Having Large Memory Gaps. and Yet. The Pain Stayed. Deeply Hidden In Your Mind. Only To Be Uncovered By Subtle Reminders And An Old Photo. you Couldn't Handle The Memory. You Wanted A Way To Cope. You Ended Up Relapsing. You Would Always Cut Yourself As A Kid To Get ...Read more
stuck loving a guy who breaks his toys #incest #cw-abuse #abuse #yearning #iknowthatcomboisfuckedup
abuse is kinda hot ngl #nsfw #cw-abuse
<< dog dave #vent hours. CW for #stockholmsyndrome #impliedincest and #cw-abuse >> i prefer to be rejected by the people i like i want to express my feelings so they'll shut me down and say im disgusting and should never talk to them again and my tail would just wag and i'll quietly comply because thats what i was made to do. constant push and pull of whether i fucking hate them or to beg to be loved a little better. i'm gonna beat my head against the wall ugh