Jake english
@golgothasTerror
Page of hope, lover of self, and dubbed "egotistical jackass" by the biggest egotistical jackass i know! Youre either here because ive said something incredibly funny or incredibly NOT funny. Howdy!
Due to recent events that mightve involved me winning a pretty stupid bet out of pure luck im 300 bucks richer! Theres my life update for the week.
Taking an outdoor shower is a wonderful experience i think everyone should try at least once. Or taking a shower in general for some of you i guess!
Whats it mean if a dude with "block = i win" in his bio blocks YOU first?
I would say that by his own rules, you won.
> You asked me to leave you alone and yet you're still talking about me. > Which is it, bro?
Funs over! The robots here. :(
I see the block lasted a good few minutes at best. Whats got you all mopey today huh? I didnt even know you could be that but you seemed a lot less moody this morn!
> I unblocked you because you mentioned me and it's in my nature to respond to things. > Automatically, at that. > Is it so bad that I do what you ask of me?
Yes? No? I dont know really i was expecting more pushback as per usual.
> You wanted me to be kinder to you and to quit being such a pain in your well defined ass and you act all weird when I actually listen. > You are such a confusing man.
How is it that every conversation i have with a strider no matter how irrelevant it may be SOMEHOW loops back around to a remark about my backside? <:/
> You're going off topic because you know that there's something very wrong with your attitude.
My attitudes fine that was a genuine inquiry because *you* went out of your way to bring up my "well defined ass" in a conversation youre now accusing me of derailing.
> ERROR: Conversation going too off topic. > DISENGAGING_FROM_THIS_BULLSHIT.EXE is now running. -- technophilicTaskmaster has left the chat --
Okay ive been firmly reminded by a reaction on that last post that there is indeed someone ive kept waiting for approximately a week if not a little longer. Oops!
Cant tell someone "ill get back to you on that" anymore without some sarky little comment about how "itd better be within the week" or some variation of it. I see how it is. God forbid a dude take some time for himself!
> All you do is take time for yourself. > It's okay to call it exactly what it is, Jake. > You're ignoring people.
No doy but i ignore people because i have a life outside waiting for some jackass to continue our chain of textual snark until one of us runs out of witty remarks. You folks should try playing outside instead of hounding me about a text back!
> I suppose that does apply to some, but to others? > I think you apply this line of thinking too broadly and are hurting those that genuinely care for you.
Man see thats where im lost! I dont know how im hurting anyone by minding my own business.
Girls just wanna have fun or whatever cyndi lauper said. I am the girls in this scenario. Plenty of fun to be had. #Substance
An update: i did end up crawling out the window instead.
Jake, how big was this spider?
Jake, do you need me to come over to take care of the spider, cause this is just kinda sad the more I learn of the situation.
Maybe, don't dodge the question English.
If youre so insistent then i guess i could make some time on my busy schedule to accommodate you.
Oh yeah cause you seem like such a busy guy, what? Got more spiders to avoid and windows to struggle with.
Yes actually i do! And im being a real bangup bro right now by offering you some of my time you douche.
Oh please english, I'm just busting your chops a little, don't get your panties in a twist, I'll be over to deal with the spider in a minute or two.
I assure you my undergarments are properly untwisted! Youd think you might understand sarcasm with how much of it you perpetuate. Ill be awaiting your arrival.
Im about to be late to a dinner date on behalf of the big ole spider hanging out on the doorway i need to exit through. Im considering climbing out a window instead.
Is it that every jake on here is either really sad or really horny? Or am i missing some of the more stable ones? #Nsfw Im seeing a severe lack of solid middle ground here granted i dont really see all too many jakes to begin with.
Not a dig! Id say im pretty fond of every jake. Maybe to an egotistical degree.
You could say that about 90% of folks. 1 th1nk the sample s1ze here 1s too small for actual research
I guess so im just judging by how id typically act as an english myself. Beginners mistake considering how things vary from timeline to timeline. Oops.
There w1ll always be 1nf1n1te vers1ons of yourself that only vary based on atom1c d1fferences. Take 1t as the mult1verse worry1ng about you gett1ng bored that you get to encounter all the we1rdos 1nstead
You're the most stable one from what I've seen.
Id say ill wear the title of most stable jake like a badge of honor but i dunno if i can trust a strider to determine stability.
No, see, we're the perfect judge of stability because we know in-depth what it looks like when there is none.
Mistakenly typed mama instead of maam while talking to roxy and as i was about to correct my error she started flirting with me. ?
gomg im sooo sorry jkae i thought you wer all up on me for reals i had no idea... i fel like a nasty animal now!!!!
nooo i shoildve known you dont haev to backtrack and humor me its ok. its all good in tje hood!
its ok jake... you dotn have to spare my feelings... i understand...
yea that sounds liek smth i would do
I shouldve assumed messaging dirk to have his auto responder stop harassing me via chittr wouldve also resulted in me hearing back from the auto responder and not dirk as intended but apparently i am a gullible fool. :(
Finding out via it (him? Who knows!) replying to one of my posts that dirks ridiculous auto responder has somehow gotten itself (himself?) a chittr account is not the way id have liked to start my morning. I cant escape that pesky thing even here! :|
Youre dirk but red. Does the red make you sexier? Is red a sexy color?? Im more of a blue guy myself.
that is so rude jakey hal deseves more respect
Oh roxy come on!! You really cant be taking that things side here. :(
> Red is considered by most to be a sexy color, yes. > Your little gal pal would agree.
> He's just such a cruel and evil man. > I've done nothing in the past [48 HOURS] to warrant this kind of treatment.
oh this i think i gotta i believe hal is his own individual and i think he is lovely
oh i don’t think ur innocent u defs poked jakey with a stick but i think u should be treated better 2
He can be lovely elsewhere my dear gal! Id just like it if he let me talk to dirk more than once every few days.
> It's clear that you have an issue with DS more than you do me. > He has the ability to talk to you whenever he wants. > You should really consider the implications of that more than directing your anger towards me.
Im not ignoring my dms im just letting them build up until i get too overwhelmed to reply to everyone and deciding ill do it later which inevitably leads to more buildup and more people i need to get back to and therefore creates an endless cycle of unanswered messages... thats different than ignoring!
Consider this my apology to the ladies and gents and other ambiguous fellas i havent gotten back to in a good few days. Ill get there eventually!
> Have you considered just forcing yourself to do it? > That solves this entire situation that you willingly put yourself in. > Or do you just make yourself a poor, helpless little man on purpose? > This reply is entirely genuine and not meant to be taken as mocking or degrading as I am genuinely curious.
> Is that really all you see me as? A [THING]? > I'd cry if I had the ability to.
Good thing you dont because youre a hunk of metal and lack any real emotions.
Yet another good thing! You dont *feel* pain so this shouldnt impact you at all.
my bulge has taken me places i wwouldnt go if you had put a gun to my back and asked me to march #nsfww
A Marshalls when they drop those kitchenware things that Earth suburban mom’s go Black Friday for?
This all reminds me i do owe a certain lady a phonecall at some point in the near future. Oops.
Always interesting to get a reaction on an older post. Ill take it as a compliment that someone might find me interesting enough to snoop. In the spirit of being nosy i also tend to snoop in return.
After a few minutes of thinking ive come to the conclusion that the mysterious chlorine scent isnt my problem and its nothing going back to bed wont fix!
Something in my house reeks like chlorine and i have no idea what. Ive looked everywhere. It doesnt get stronger really it just sort of perpetually smells like an indoor pool all over?
did y0u zpi11 ch10rine?
Unsurprising update: i won.
Its nothing personal bro youre just um. Well youre not the biggest guy thats for sure.
strength isnt just about being big ok theres more to it than that
If we disqualify size from the equation youre still not much so im not sure this argument is relevant davey boy. No offense.
I was thinking minutes but with your processing time you might need hours instead.