Rose Lalonde
@tentacleTherapist
🔮A human girl with opinions. A lot of them.🔮 Come hither for all the sage psychoanalysis one could dream.
My brother’s comment about bitches with tarot cards inspired me toward a terrible fit of charity. Whoever would like their fortune read, simply sign below. I can feel all of your energies from here, and it would probably do us all a great justice to see it done.
Oh, chittr, how I missed thee.
⠀
c< we Missed yOu as well >c
I have had such a busy day that I almost forgot my word of the day completely. Have a flummadiddle, for your trouble.
@cesarianAqueduct My, my, what a fortune you have yourself here. It is incredible, really, how you have somehow managed to predict your own fate. I was meditating on the visions Orbie was sending me, and I couldn’t figure it out; what did black ink, horses, and death have to do with anything? And then, I saw it. See your own words below from just 24 hours ago: “i eat a hoofbeast wwe lock eyes i squirt ink blotches into your face in defense and in your confusion you die” I have to say, I’m impressed. But who is the victim of such a crime? I’m afraid I don’t know. All I can offer is a rendition of the vision I saw in my orb. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/69c6ec6e40da.jpg #askorbie
@fondlyRegarding To inspect a pickle is truly an honourable task, and one that shouldn’t be taken for granted. It is a big dill, after all. You will soon come across a pickle during your inspections that will seem normal to many; to you, however, you will clock it for what it is. A Trojan horse meant to deliver arsenic to an unsuspecting Droog! Oh, the agony. It will be a perfectly good pickle, too. For shame. You must make sure that it never crosses his lips. #askorbie
This is useful foreknowledge. Thank you, Miss Rose and Orbie.
I shall now continue my routine of asking Orbie all of your fortunes. Fasten your seatbelts.
The word of the day is fandangle, which means pretentious tomfoolery. I find this word to be quite fitting to my mood today.
That last fortune really took it out of me, dear readers. Orbie is so reliable — “You know that I ain't bragging, she's a real pussy wagon” — but John Travolta’s smug grin is inspiring me to go and see if one of my braver and more idiotic brethren would let me spectate a Scientology run. The quotes are lyrics to Grease Lightning, by the way. Send Chitt.
@aeneasCaldarium Hark, the dark foreboding energy you feel is now upon you. Fear not, however, for though it is the eleventh hour, it’s not too late. Sort of. Gaze into this jpeg of my crystal ball and notice the ink blot. What do you see? Very telling, based on your answer. It’s systematic. It’s hydromatic. Why, it’s… https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/50d7e5ce5316.jpeg
its... its greased lightning, isnt it? its... ultramatic, its... oh no... oh no...
@adiosToreador Your next FLARP is going to be truly epic, Orbie tells me. It truly will be akin to a gigantomachy in scale, a war between giants and gods through a proxy body, and you will have your work cut out for you. Also, Terezi said she would be down to play in it, but that isn’t part of the fortune. She just let me know. Exciting news. #askorbie ; my apologies for the delay. The Gift comes when it wants.
Y3S!!!!! 1T W1LL B3 4 G1G4NTOWH4T3V3R SH3 S41D
oH, nEAT! i LIKE PLAYING WITH, tEREZI, tHANKS!
@surlyTabloid Your attempt at cooking something malicious was successful, not just in the immediate gratification (or disgust) I am sure you experienced whilst eating it. In the next week, you will begin experiencing… interesting symptoms. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble. #askorbie ; my apologies for the delay. The Gift comes when it wants.
@apocalypseArisen Orbie is asking me how your brothel plans are going? He says that, if left unchecked, it could mean a large sum of boondollars being stolen from a safe in your wardrobe, heist-style, complete with bandits in striped mime outfits and masks. You love an adventure, though, so perhaps this is fortuitous. #askorbie ; my apologies for the delay. The Gift comes when it wants.
it's g0ing quite well.
@fatallyForever Apologies for such a late reading. It seems like I will be issuing a lot of such apologies shortly, but you happen to be my first victim. That being said, I consulted Orbie of your fate, and… I have to admit, it isn’t looking optimistic. You’re a helmsman, destined for a life of servitude. It’s unfortunate, really, but fear not; there is somebody that may come into your future to keep you company (who isn’t a horrible tyrant). Look out for a Jadeblood who may fulfill that role. #askorbie is back, everyone. Again, apologies for such a delay. The Gift comes when it wants, it seems.
<action; statement input; statement: thank you for the fortune. input; statement: i wou|d be |ying if i said i expected something optimistic, but this is better than i thought it wou|d be input; statement: that |ast point is very interesting />
My word of the day is zenzizenzizenzic, which is a term for the eighth power of a number. Perhaps some of our residential Serkets will enjoy this one.
rose’s word of the day is blennophobia apparently, which is what i am going to start calling ghostbuster haters. blennophobes.
I am, still in fact, working through those fortune telling requests. You all seemed to have been pretty enthusiastic about them, so I promise I will deliver, however late to the party Orbie will be in the end.
you got this rosie!!!! knock them dead!! or draw them uh..... blind!!!! or something like that!
My word of the day is blennophobia, or the fear of slime. Something that John certainly does not have, considering his affiliation with the fabled “slimer”.
can confirm!
[ >OOH! I TOO LOVETH SLIMES AND OOZES! TIS THE MOST FUN THEE CAN POSSIBLY HAVETH WHEN, LIKE, CONCOCTING A BREW!_ ]
@gardengnostic#0133 I have to say, Orbie and I both admire your positivity. It’s infectious, if not naive. This is what your reading is about today; it urges you to think very carefully about who you give away that positivity to. It’s a gift not to be overused. Your future depends on it. Not to be cryptic or anything. #askorbie
@writenRevolution First of all, apologies for such a late reading. My soothsaying abilities come and go. Your musicianship will soon be rewarded with great fame. I would take some advice from a certain Strider (and my orb) and move into something a bit more avant garde, however. He seems to be making it work these days with some very… experimental sounds. In fact, I can see you both spinning some “phat beatz” together. Much to think about.
oh thank you / that sounds nice
@lipstickThesbian Leave it to an alternate version of me to have a child just like you. This, as my good friend Jade would probably say, “totally rules!!!!”. Anyway. My crystal ball detects some silliness in your future in the form of bowling shoes, dish soap, and a very slippery linoleum floor. My advice; Alchemize some cleats and some elbow pads. Good luck with your theatre tech endeavors, sort-of-daughter. #askorbie for more via my pinned, dear readers.
Thank you for the warning sort-of mother ...But for the record I'm not a woman Nor a daughter They/them
(( don't feel bad about the mistake it's JUICY ))
Atta they. You correct those pronouns, just like we allegedly would have taught you to do.
Snrk I appreciate it I Used to have a lot more trouble correcting you two Not about pronouns but The amateur nouns you see It was hard to muster the courage to ...disappoint? "I am not your daughter" does sound rather directly confrontational after all But you do not need to hear all this
@thespianTestified A distant ecto-sibling once told me that forgiving the sins of our forebearers is the just thing to do. Orbie and I, however, say fuck that shit. Well, I say that. Orbie here says that you have made the decision on the path that is your truth. He would, admittedly, also say this if you had chosen a different path; thus is the great twist of life. Your truth is always the correct one, your True North, and your fortune today simply tells you to seek solace in that. I know it’s hard. It is hard for me too, with my own guardian. #askorbie for more via my pinned, dear readers.
Thank you. I really needed to hear that, today.