john egbert
@ectoBiolojest
hello! i am doing my best. my private messages are always open if you want to talk to me.
((update: a close friend helped me get my OCD medication and i've been taking it for a few days now, even with a low dosage i already feel the difference. i still can't get the meds for my bipolar and depression without a psychiatrist appointment so i'm still waiting on medicaid for that. i might be on and off of chittr incredibly briefly here and there, i don't plan to engage with posts unless prompted to but i will try to answer dm's.
happy father's day.
Please consider the following form. Thank you for your patience https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfhZCXDu73fpOoUkcMaNpIj3BVCP8e__okdYB0ueqKMCx9cBA/viewform?usp=publish-editor
hiiiii losers. so, after lots of consideration and 2nd opinions, i've decided 2 post one of the things i had cooking in the vault. wanna thank my co-producer dave @turntechGoghead for helping me with the stupid drum programming & the flow!!! idk if i could’ve done it without his brains. the guitar sample we worked with provided by @aeneasCaldarium here is velvet tiptoe. [ the song attached opens with the dreamlike, unsuspectingly sweet introduction of a synth keyboard, then the first lines sung by cami in a breathy, soft tone to open up the intimate nature of the song. the swooping, deep bassline and delicate guitar chords kick in over the drums, trademark to hip-hop influence. a relaxed tempo meant to carry along the r&b sound alongside the words of a hesitating lover. when cami sings, she sounds every bit reluctant to share her love to the listener, shy even; will he share her feelings after she’s exposed herself? if it feels so wrong, why is it so hard to do what’s right and walk away? could she take that chance? to open herself up to rejection? the fear stalls her from sharing her affections, but soon — she converses hedonistically, not belts or keens — he’ll come realize to find how much she has been waiting to stand at his side if she tries so poorly to hide it. this ache that sits in her heart like rocks too heavy to be carried by a stream. this ache that she cannot part with. the synth chords reinstates the tenderness of her emotions between verses, tethering the fresh simplicity of 90s romance like the words are flowing from the ends of her pen to a diary on a saturday late-night, homely and sweet; nostalgia concocted carefully. then, why not end this push-and-pull that connects them? why can’t she stop going to him? the hook repeats, gliding with the rich melody, nearly hypnotic. when the song comes to its end, its served to be a sensual journey through cami’s inner vacillation, fading out into the end of the beginning. will she, won’t she? ] https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/alpyl7zsllsh2jdx8yi7t/CB22907F-AF9C-4E01-A863-18805866CE36.mov?rlkey=cqeo96iq7uyy5h9ds7a7i9itu&st=xl6h11i4&dl=0 https://i.ibb.co/Q4PDt0x/Untitled408-20260529040434.webp #camimusings #indieartist #violence #suggestive #nsfw
☆ suKKs that that guy Kan play a decent tune. But shits pretty decent other than that☆
fuck yes im so glad this dropped it was fun working with you cami lemme know if you wanna work on another track with me (excluding cronus for obvious reasons)
man that keyboardist can really play a tune. 8O
ikr. i owe him a huge thanks too. any ideas?
ya, i had so so much fun!! you have, like, a rlly good ear for beats. no fish next time i prommy. hit u up for the next one soon. :3
LOL. we had to take some detours but it worked out. now u can see i have a very special touch for songs, so stop stalling on that bass sample mk.
ty. if you brush up on more guitar, i’m happy 2 include a little violet flare to my songs more often. (and i hate mapping out guitar chords also)
hmm... i dunno... i bet that guy would appreciate something real personal. something he really likes. something really... intimate. like weird al's bad hair day album on original vinyl. ;)
oooh wow gosh. well, i’m sure that can be arranged.. but only if he can bring himself and his talented keyboardist fingers to the record store with me.
☆ I’m fuKKin worKin on it I finally got the Shit to reKord with but this software bs is annoying☆
((update: a close friend helped me get my OCD medication and i've been taking it for a few days now, even with a low dosage i already feel the difference. i still can't get the meds for my bipolar and depression without a psychiatrist appointment so i'm still waiting on medicaid for that. i might be on and off of chittr incredibly briefly here and there, i don't plan to engage with posts unless prompted to but i will try to answer dm's.
((i'm sorry for posting like that the other night. this is a bit personal, but i've been unable to get access to my medication for my mental illnesses recently (they cancelled my medicaid out of the blue and i didn't realize for months) and while i did have extras leftover that i've been able to take for these last few months, as of like the start of this week i've been 100% unmedicated for OCD, depression, anxiety, and bipolar. my compulsions, intrusive thoughts, and especially my mood swings were/are in full effect and it isn't pretty. i have not had full control over my mind and actions and i hate it, so much. i'm sorry for letting that show here, and especially in front of people i really care about. i applied for medicaid again last month but they are absolutely waiting the full 30 day limit before they review my application so i'm just sort of left out to dry in the meantime. i will probably take a break from chittr for the sake of my mental health until i can get fully medicated again. if you want to get in contact with me for any reason you can reach me on discord at lunaalex.
first person to reply to this post is a poop head.
bad brain night.
((sick to my stomach for the stupidest god damn reasons.
((sorry for using john as an outlet for personal frustrations on the TL. not trying to clog anyone’s feed at 6 in the morning.
((everybody be doin that shit, don't even trip.
i don’t know what to think anymore.
wut? ._.
B4B3, DO YOU W4NT TO T4LK?
doing worse??? #doing even worse???
doing bad. #doing bad.
I am sorry to hear it.
oh ho ho ho. or something like that.
ええ？
just something that was said by someone at the masquerade party tonight.
あらあら～。
very happy i got to attend like, half of the masquerade tonight. looking forward to tomorrow!
always with these GOD. DAMN. CLOWNS!!!
whats all this im hearin about clowns? yall dont like clowns in this joint?
honkity honk honk honk
WH4T'S WRONG, B4B3?
((pic of the outside. deliberately using discord links to let the embeds decay after a while lol https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1425380837918244944/1505028515442196581/IMG_9435.jpg?ex=6a092288&is=6a07d108&hm=c050d55d9aa5ccef47007e34e27c1d50afba0495fd341f0e09bccc45307c4719&
((my experience so far with the masquerade party has been interesting in that i’ve been absent for most of it because i had to attend a concert, and joined the chat during intermissions. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1425380837918244944/1504983709219033229/IMG_9434.jpg?ex=6a08f8cd&is=6a07a74d&hm=f731a7298a755b40214accaac53429a34e9845663cf8964860e62820f8123793&
(( nice concert venue though!
i’ll be back at the masquerade party in like, an hour i think? how’s it going?
c< its certaiNly gOiN! >c
c< i MeaN, sOMe daNciNg, plus we Have a lil gaMe gOiN ON iN tHe secONd rOOM >c
c< a little yes Or NO gaMe, just, teN questiONs giveN frOM tHe peOple >c
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ https://msparp.chat/outglutmasqerade It's actually started. #outglutmasquerade ]
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ I would like to remind you that the #outglutmasquerade is 3 cycles long. So it'll be here tomorrowcycle and the cycle after. ]
thank god
ok good i can at least make it out to one of the cycles then! as long as my lusus doesn’t keep me trapped longer.