Thanks to the combined efforts of @obvertSoftware and @turntechGodzilla, I've been successfully peer pressured into making an account. Both of you, please give yourselves a round of applause, a pat on the back, and maybe a congratulatory self-fellatio if you're feeling especially proud. Everyone else is invited to use their allotted 5 seconds to gawk in abject confusion at the handle before directing their attention spans back to the refresh button for their next dopamine hit of the day. No thank yous needed; it's just my natural generosity. I'm basically Mother Teresa in this bitch. That is, if Mother Teresa was really more like Edward Norton, though with maybe 2% more of a god complex. Anyway, Roxy's somehow managed to hack into all of my accounts and I've been unsuccessful in permanently changing their handles back, so I guess it's just fucking stuck like that until the bit's gotten old. Going 2 years strong now, and there remains little hope for it to die out. RIP in piss my online dignity, or something. I'm not even going to bother using my old handle for this. It's only a matter of time until I get epically pwned for the hundredth time. And with that, obligatory introduction over. You're all welcome. Peace out.
We're so not doing this right now, dude.
HA HA HAAAA. I KNEW. I KNEW THERE WOULD BE SOMEONE. WORTHY. PRIME "SWAG". WHO WOULD BE HERE. BUT I WAS PARTIALLY MISTAKEN. WHY ARE YOU FELINE. THIS IS TROUBLING.
Paragraph 3, sentence 1. It's right there, man. The answer's in in the text, damn near highlighted with my douchebag orange creamsicle text. I'm a little hurt you didn't even bother to read it. What happened to our brobond, our mutual toleration of each other's droning walls of fucking inane text.
My name is Dirk. Three thousand words of useless text. Now I have an account. Woo.
I HATEFULLY SCENTED YOUR MESSAGE. AND DEEMED THE REASONING GIVEN. TO BE UNWORTHY. WHY WOULD YOU LET. THAT FREAK. CHANGE YOUR HANDLES. I KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER. AND YOU HAVE. AND THAT YOU ARE NO WEAK BITCH.
can you make this even shorter
Text.
i dont know your number how am i supposed to text you for it
I don't think you know what Roxy's capable of, bro.
I AM FULLY AWARE. OF THE CAPABILITIES. OF THAT WRETCH. THEY HAVE LESS POWER THAN YOU BRO.